jc/jgy antis when characters are backed into a corner and forced to make difficult decisions between ethics and survival:

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 03

(Masterpost)(Previous Episode) 

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

 Wei Wuxian demonstrates the purple nurple technique of the Jiang Clan

Should’ve Used Trivago

The Jiang Clan’s reservation got cancelled while they were on the road, so they are going to wander around this small inn for hours being fussed about it, rather than trying another inn. Yes they say the other inns are all full but…so is this one, now. 

The Jin Clan sends an advance party to fancy up the inn for them.

Fuckboi Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian decides to use his considerable powers of prettiness to get them a room.  He drops some poetry on Mianmian and brazenly flirts with her before shifting to properly introducing himself and asking for a room. 

This actually works.

...until her boss shows up.

(Much much more after the cut!)

Worst Person // Best Jin

Jin ZIxuan is an ass and a snob. 

I guess we have to give him credit for having a beautiful sidekick and never hitting on her, given that his dad is a rapist and one of his half-brothers is (reputedly) a sex pest and the other half brother is (definitely) an incest perp. But I feel like it doesn’t take much to be the best Jin of his or his father’s generation.

The Jin folks are snobs and talk about how great their fancy and expensive stuff is. It’s an interesting contrast with true connoisseur Nie Huaisang, who loves everything that is fine and beautiful and can quote stacks of poetry off the top of his head, but is not even a little bit of a snob. 

This Tea Smells Like Farts

Ok, let’s talk about generation names in the Jin clan. Ru is the name for Jin Ling’s generation, hence his courtesy name Rulan. The name for the current generation is apparently Zi (子), because both Zixuan and his jerk cousin Zixun have that as their name.  Sect Leader Jin Guangshan would seem to be using the generation name Guang, but then names his son Jin Guangyao so…the whole system breaks down. 

Anyway, my point here is that even considering generation names, if I had a baby and named it Zixuan, and my sister-in-law promptly had a baby and named it Zixun, I would slap her. 

Find you a lover who does not make you feel like this 

Jin Zixuan is mildly intrigued by his betrothed, and expresses it by being rude to her in front of Wei Wuxian, starting a chain of events that will culminate with Wen Ning’s fist going all the way through Jin Zixuan’s chest.

Side Note: Look at these young Jiang Brothers and their casual shoulder hugs. Sigh.

Wei Wuxian’s Combat PlayBook

When Wei Wuxian wants to throw down, he starts with smack talk, moves along to boundary crossing, then to direct threats, and then brings out a weapon if he hasn’t won already. 

Here he starts shit with Jin Zixuan by complaining at him for taking up too much space and having too many sycophants.  Then he goes for the unwelcome shoulder touch. 

Having been sufficiently provocative to get someone to draw a sword and threaten him with physical violence, he shifts to formal verbal sparring. 

This gets the other guy to back down, because even at this age no-one actually wants to tangle with Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian gets to claim the moral advantage, although he still doesn’t get to keep his hotel room. 

Actually Not A Fan of My Sister’s Betrothal

Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli have the first of many, many moments of heterosexual ineptitude together. Wei Wuxian quickly rescues them.

Hi, I’m Young Master Cockblock.

Neither of the boys understands what Yanli sees in Zixuan and neither do I, at this juncture. He does improve later after multiple beatings from Wei Wuxian.

This Is The Day Your Life Will Surely Change

Yanli’s encounter in the Inn is the first step toward the inexorable end of the three of them as a unit, although it’s still a long ways off. They are all growing up and she and Wei Wuxian are both going to fall in love at summer camp, like in a 1980s teen movie but without the virginity betting (presumably). 

Meanwhile poor Jiang Cheng is going to be swept along just trying to keep up with events, which becomes the story of his life for the next two decades.

Welcome to Transylvania

We meet Wen Ruohan. He is boring and he sucks. Also I’m summarizing the Transylvania parts out of order because they break up the rhythm of the story. And are boring and suck.

We meet Xue Yang. He seems nice.

Wen Ruohan’s living room is like a shitty nightclub where everyone is too drunk to dance except Xue Yang.

Dee Jay: Undead undead undead, Bela Lugosi’s dead

[OP can’t get a video to embed in this post with looping enabled, so the alternate version of this joke has its own post right here. That will teach OP to get fancy.]

Anyhoo

We meet Wen Qing. She is the bestest most wonderful girl in the world but this isn’t actually when we find that out. 

Right now we just find out that she is absurdly pretty, that she loves her brother deeply, and that she is helping Wen Ruohan with his “take over the world by murdering cultivators” project. OKAY, PROBLEMATIC, BUT SHE IS THE BESTEST GIRL OKAY? 

Gatekeeping

The Jiang Clan don’t get another inn but they do manage to change into immaculate white robes while they’re out on the street, so - nice work, Jiang Clan. Be free!

They get stuck outside the gate because they don’t know that the secret to getting into Cloud Recesses is to set the gate guard on fire. 

Walking Thirst Trap Hanguang-Jun

Lan Wangji shows up and everyone except Yanli, who is already in love with Sir Golden Pants, makes thirst faces at him. Including Jiang Cheng tho he will never admit it. One girl in the background is actually biting her knuckle. 

Note: Lan Wangji knows exactly how fine he is. Look at his fucking hairstyle. 

He is sixteen years old. The only person in the entire cultivation world with fancier hair is Nie Mingjue, and that’s because he indulges his dìdi’s braiding hobby. 

Wei Wuxian loudly stage whispers that LWJ is their key to getting in and LWJ is is like, not fucking likely, person I didn’t glance at yet. 

But then Wei Wuxian says a smart cultivator thing about the puppet dude, and Lan Wangji turns around and has the first of many long mutual staring sessions with this boy he totally isn’t going to like at all.

Jiang Cheng has a bad feeling about the future: a 2-frame gif

Unrelated gardening note: the red-crack puppet is more commonly grown in Gusu and Dafan, while the black-line puppet is native to Yiling

I Must Arrange a Date with this Uninteresting Boy

The rest of the evening is a series of tests that Lan Wangji puts Wei Wuxian through. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know this and Lan Wangji probably doesn’t exactly know it either. 

First he sends WWX back to town to get the invitation. Yes, go get it. Not your entourage; YOU, talky person who thinks he can manipulate me and is smart and looks...intriguing. Go find it and come back. 

When Wei Wuxian complains, Lan Wangji silences him, which is literally the most boss move he could have used on smooth talking Wei Wuxian. 

You tried, Fuckboi.

Would you like to try some more because I think I would like you to try some more

Jiang Cheng is the Better Baby Brother

Sorry, he just is. Wei Wuxian is all about being taken care of and adoring Yanli without actually doing much for her. Jiang Cheng is the one who thinks about her feelings and giving her what she needs, even to the point of arranging that wedding rehearsal dinner so she can be with her favorite brother again -- the favorite who isn’t him, much as she also loves him. 

Date Test 1: Can You Get In.

Once Wei Wuxian is definitely gone, Lan Wangji shows up again and collects the entire retinue, guaranteeing that Wei Wuxian will be stranded outside the gate when he gets back.  LWJ doesn’t wait by the gate; he goes and waits up on the roof instead of going to bed or whatever else he’s supposed to be doing. Because he already knows the route Wei Wuxian will be taking. 

Wei Wuxian passes the “get in through the wards” test with no problem besides a minor headache and bent fingers. 

Is that Xiao Zhan’s hand or did they use a double-jointed hand model?

Date Test 2: Fight Me (Lan Wangji’s Combat Playbook)

As soon as Wei Wuxian shows up on the roof, Lan Wangji picks a fight with him. 

LWJ fights all the time; he’s perfectly comfortable when he’s fighting and it’s a good venue for him to express himself. His style is graceful and aggressive. 

Attack attack attack strike a pose, vogue, you know it.  

He starts by going all in on swordplay, but that doesn’t gain him the advantage; Wei Wuxian fends him off without ever drawing his sword. Which is probably the hottest thing that has ever happened to Lan Wangji in his young life.

Do you like me better when I’m horizontal? 

Next Lan Wangji deploys the pettiness by breaking WWX’s wine. Then when Wei Wuxian starts insulting him he upgrades to next level pettiness by dropping another silence spell, this time with the added bonus of preventing WWX from drinking. 

Wei Wuxian’s Combat Playbook, Redux

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is running his own fight routine, starting with a charm attack, which doesn’t work at all. 

Are you admiring the moon? 

He keeps trying to de-escalate for the first phase of their fight, until they reach a pause and he reflects that Lan Wangji has real skills. As soon as he makes that determination he goes on the offensive - with words. 

He very formally says he’s too busy to continue fighting, and turns away, which is a pretty solid roast when you say it to someone who’s been trying really hard to kick your ass. Then he continues defending easily until Lan Wangji uses the wine against him. 

At this point the gloves come off, with Lan Wangji lecturing Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian making ad hominem attacks, Lan Wangji forcibly shutting him up... 

...and then throwing him on the floor in front of Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen. 

Sincere Grief for the Death of our Colleague

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen feel really bad for their disciple who has been horribly turned into an undead creature. Ha ha j/k

Date Test 3: Face the Authorities

Lan Wangji gets to pick Wei Wuxian’s punishment.  This probably won’t awaken anything in him. 

Surprise surprise, Wei Wuxian actually passes the Authority test with flying colors. Lan Qiren doesn’t like him, but listens respectfully to his thoughts about the undead cultivator. And Lan Xichen clearly does like him.

When Wei Wuxian learns that Lan Wangji was nice to his sister, his entire demeanor changes, to such an enormous degree that Lan Wangji starts to run away.

He’s not going to let this boy (who has passed all the tests oh no he passed all the tests) make out with him in front of his family like he is obviously planning. 

But once again, Wei Wuxian’s cultivation knowledge captures Lan Wangji’s attention and breaks through his reserve. 

This Hardy Boys moment is the beginning of their cultivation partnership.

Lan Wangji is brave but is extremely constrained: by the authorities in his life and by his own rigid reserve. Wei Wuxian is brave and is also free. His companionship gives Lan Wangji an opportunity to engage with a much broader range of the things that interest him than he’s ever had before. 

After Wei Wuxian has been sent to bed, Lan Wangji stands outside and -- just as WWX had suggested at the beginning of their date/fight -- admires the moon, with an expression that’s anything but upset. 

Sure, sex is cool (probably), but have you ever analyzed a walking corpse with a beautiful boy in the moonlight?

If you’ve got your true honey Life can be pretty funny If you've got money, money to burn Rooty toot toot for the moon It's the biggest star I've ever seen

The Fine-as-Hell Brothers

Alone together, Lans Xichen and Wangji talk over the various things on their minds. 

Xichen: What the fuck is up with you? ...Rooftop fights and dropping spells on boys?

Wangji: You and uncle were ignoring me so I was making my own fun

Xichen: Yeah, we are dealing with this zombie situation; shit’s going to hit the fan

Wangji: what are you going to do about it?

Xichen: fuck-all

Wangji: Well, you can rely on me

Xichen: I totally do. So how about you get to know this Wei kid, he seems like a fun ride.

Wangji: *death glare*

Xichen: You know, since Dad died you’ve become even more uptight. I wonder if I’ve been too strict with you?

Wangji: Um, you think? 3000 fucking rules, dude. Fortunately I’m not going to go off the rails and fall in love with my polar opposite and cause havoc in the cultivation world or anything like that.

Xichen: good, me neither

Outtro

Writing prompt: Lan Xichen’s secret nightly letter to his Mom’s memory or spirit (your choice), in which he confides in her about his day. May be written in flute solo form. 

(As always if you use this prompt feel free to post a link to your fic in comments!)

Soundtrack: 1. This Is The Day by The The  2.  Bela Lugosi’s Dead by Bauhaus 3. Rooty Toot Toot for the Moon, Greg Brown version 4. Madonna, Vogue

Bonus: FineAsHell-Jun

Episode 04 Restless Rewatch coming soon!

AWE Chapter 155

Chapter 155: Breaking The First Shackle! The fourth tornado sprang up in a plain, where a grand spell formation had been set up. Glittering light spread out in all directions from the formation, in the middle of which sat a lone Qi Condensation disciple. He was a handsome young man wearing the robes of the Profound Stream Sect. As he performed his breathing exercises, magical symbols flowed back and forth across his body, each one of which seemed to carry incredible destructive power. Occasionally they would converge into something that looked like an iron chain wrapped around him. The pulsing energy of destruction that seemed to radiate from the young man was none other than a sign of the Exterminating Obliteration Technique! That young man was none other than the number one Chosen from the Profound Stream Sect, the first person in the past 3,000 years to successfully cultivate the Exterminating Obliteration Technique, Nine-Isles. He was able to unleash a force of obliteration that could exterminate all living things. It could wipe out anything and everything, and could even form obliteration threads; according to the information compiled by the other sects, such threads were as powerful as Mortal-Dao Foundation Establishment. “In that battle with Ghostfang, neither of us came out on top. Just wait until after Foundation Establishment! I’ll fight with you again, and then I’ll completely destroy one of the number one Chosen in the Spirit Stream Sect!” Killing intent flickered in Nine-Isles’s eyes as he took a deep breath and performed a double-handed incantation gesture. Instantly, a whirlpool formed inside of him, exploding with gravitational force as a tornado shot up into the heavens. There, an enormous vortex appeared. Rumbling sounds filled the air as enormous quantities of earthstring energy flowed toward it. As of this moment, four enormous vortexes could be seen in four different areas, splitting the Fallen Sword World into four parts. The rest of the disciples in the Fallen Sword World were getting very anxious. Four people were in the middle of Foundation Establishment, and vast quantities of earthstring energy was being gobbled up. Everyone knew that the earthstring energy was limited, and if they didn’t hurry, their own chances at Foundation Establishment would be dashed, and they would be nothing but minor players compared to those who had succeeded. The fighting grew more brutal, and almost instantly, casualties mounted. Even as the disciples fell upon each other with bloodshot eyes, the lake above Bai Xiaochun exploded with a crashing sound as he concluded his third Tideflow. Up in the heavens, the dragon roared, and inside Bai Xiaochun, a third spiritual sea appeared above his second. This spiritual sea was even larger than the previous one. “The power of the dragon has ended. Now it’s time for the power of the mammoth!” Bai Xiaochun took a deep breath. Eyes crimson, he let out a powerful roar as an enormous mammoth appeared around him. It lifted its front feet up, and then slammed them back down into the ground. BOOM! A fourth whirlpool appeared inside of him, even larger and more shocking than the third. Up above in the sky, the third vortex had grown still, but now a fourth, even larger vortex could be seen! Within that vortex was the image of an enormous mammoth, bellowing as the surrounding vortex spun rapidly. Two hours later, Fang Li followed closely behind with his own fourth Tideflow vortex. As for Song Que and Nine-Isles, they were approaching the conclusion of their own third Tideflows. After two more hours passed, they began their fourth! Song Que was putting on a particularly stunning performance. An enormous face could be seen in the vortex of his fourth Tideflow, a face with a blood moon on its forehead. Clearly, the speed with which he was absorbing the earthstring energy surpassed everyone else. “Song Que is already on his fourth Tideflow. I can’t believe how quickly he’s absorbing the earthstring energy. It’s terrifying!” “Dammit! Is he really going to try to do the same thing as Master Limitless? Is he going to reach the peak of Earthstring Foundation Establishment with nine Tideflows?” “This is bad. If someone reaches eight Tideflows, they’ll absorb so much earthstring energy that it will be difficult for anyone else to succeed! I have to get more earthstring energy as quickly as possible!” Deep anxiety filled all hearts. As of this point, twenty hours had passed since Bai Xiaochun began stepping into Foundation Establishment. It was at this point that, all of a sudden, a fifth tornado shot up into the heavens! RUUUUUUUUUUMBLE! As it grew larger, it formed a vortex, beneath which was a mass of black mist. Within that mist was none other than Ghostfang. The sight of five vortexes spinning in the sky caused all necks to crane as the disciples looked up at them. Time passed. It didn’t take long before Ghostfang’s first and second Tideflows were finished. When his third Tideflow vortex appeared, a huge mountain ghost appeared, revealing his identity to all. “Ghostfang! It’s Ghostfang from the Spirit Stream Sect!” “He obviously cultivates the Mountain Ghost God-Dazing Magic!” “Bai Xiaochun. Fang Lin. Song Que. Nine-Isles. Ghostfang!” As of this moment, five inhuman cultivators had risen up from the crowd of cultivators from the four sects! They were definitely the first wave who would reach Foundation Establishment! Bai Xiaochun was in the lead. His fourth Tideflow was almost half completed. Next was Fang Lin, who was only about two hours behind Bai Xiaochun. Song Que and Nine-Isles were next, being about four hours behind Bai Xiaochun. In last place was Ghostfang, who was slower by twenty hours! Currently, Bai Xiaochun’s fourth whirlpool was spinning rapidly, absorbing massive amounts of earthstring energy. The power of the mammoth was pushing his fleshly body inexorably toward the first of the five shackles of mortality. With every blast of power, he would shake visibly. He had already cultivated the Dragon Mammoth Sea-Forming Scripture to the point where he could make contact with the first shackle. But now, because of his Undying Live Forever Technique, he was not just at the point of making contact with it, he could break through it! He was about to break through the first shackle! “By borrowing the might of the mammoth and the earthstring energy, I can break through the first shackle during my fourth Tideflow!” Eyes crimson, he let out a shout and once again unleashed a surge of power. Thunderous crashing resounded in his mind as he battered away at the shackle over and over again. His body hovered on the brink of crumbling, but he hung on. After a few more hours passed, there were only about eight hours left before the fourth Tideflow would end. By now, massive amounts of Tideflow power were exploding out inside of him. BOOOMMMM! Blood oozed out of the corners of his mouth, and cracks appeared all over his skin. His attack on the first shackle was actually proving to be much more difficult than he’d imagined. Even by borrowing the earthstring energy in the form of the Tideflow, he still hadn’t succeeded in breaking through it, not even after thousands upon thousands of attempts. Using earthstring energy to try to break through the first shackle of mortality was completely unheard of. In fact, nobody other than Bai Xiaochun had ever attempted to do such a thing. “I can definitely break through!” he thought. Gritting his teeth, he took a deep breath and then drew in more earthstring energy. However, he didn’t use it to blast the shackle, but instead began building it up inside of him. Eight hours later, and the fourth Tideflow was almost complete. Bai Xiaochun’s eyes were shining with lightning-like brightness. “Break! Come on, break!” Roaring, he unleashed the Tideflow he had been building up for the past eight hours. Massive rumbling sounds echoed out as it turned into something like an enormous battering ram. His body was like a wall, which the battering ram then slammed into. Once. Twice. Three times. One blast after another came in quick succession. Soon, cracks spread out in that wall, until at last, the power of the fourth Tideflow, crushed the wall. Cracking sounds filled the air, and at the same time, Bai Xiaochun shook visibly. All of a sudden, he felt something like five enormous mountains resting on his shoulders! Those five mountains began inside of him, but stretched out high above him. They emitted intense pressure that made him gasp, and it was only at this moment that he could sense them clearly. All of a sudden, he had the urge to destroy those five mountains, to remove the pressure that was weighing down on him! “Those five mountains are the five shackles of mortality!” Roaring, he sent heaven-shaking, earth-shattering energy to slam into the first of the five mountains. Under the explosive barrage, the shackle suddenly crumbled! In that moment, blood sprayed out of Bai Xiaochun’s mouth. His qi passageways, his flesh and blood, and every other part of him crumbled, and then instantly reformed. He was left trembling as an aura began to spread out from him that surpassed anything from the mortal world. It thrived within his flesh and blood, filled his body, and made the entire world suddenly seem completely different. There seemed to be more colors, more lustre, and at the same time, he felt lighter and more free. Moments before, he had been shouldering the weight of five enormous mountains, but now, one of them had been destroyed. He had broken through the first shackle of mortality! When it happened, his fleshly body power erupted with explosive force. He instantly surpassed the fleshly body limit of Qi Condensation cultivators, and entered Foundation Establishment! His flesh and blood, his qi passageways, his bones, all of it surpassed what was mortal. He threw his head back and let loose a long cry which echoed out in all directions. The lake churned, and the fourth vortex up above went still. Moments later… a fifth vortex appeared! Within that fifth vortex was a crumbling mountain! This fifth Tideflow was not provoked by the Dragon Mammoth Sea-Forming Scripture. This mountain had nothing to do with that. It was a natural result of Bai Xiaochun breaking through the first shackle of mortality! By this point, Fang Lin, Song Que, and Nine-Isles had all reached the end of their own fourth Tideflows. At the same time, Ghostfang completed his third. Meanwhile, hours upon hours of intense fighting had passed for the other disciples of the four sects. It was then that the second wave of disciples managed to form their earthstring capture crystals. The first of that second wave was Shangguan Tianyou. Virtually simultaneously, Xu Xiaoshan’s vortex also appeared in the sky. The next was none other than Beihan Lie, the dark horse of the Fallen Sword World! Last was Zhao Rou from the Pill Stream Sect! She sat cross-legged in a valley, and standing protectively in front of her was Gongsun Wan’er, whose face was dripping with blood. Shockingly, Gongsun Wan’er didn’t have a single scrap of life force upon her! She was dead, and yet, her corpse could still move. Although she was a bit stiff, toxic mist pulsed out from inside of her, and countless poisonous centipedes squirmed in and out of her eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. If some powerful expert were to come along, they would be able to tell that Gongsun Wan’er’s brain was gone, and inside of her head was a spider with a human face, controlling her corpse! Gongsun Wan’er had been transformed into a poison puppet! “Gongsun Wan’er, you are the first poison puppet I’ve created. Don’t worry, soon I’ll turn your brother into the second!” Eyes sparkling with vicious enmity, Zhao Rou began to meditate, and the vortex up above her rumbled into motion. Previous           Main menu            Next Click to Post