#because that backpedaling analogy made me laugh harder than it should have when it thought of it so we keep it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magistriofficiorum · 3 years

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So on my Spotify radio When the Day Met the Night by P!ATD came on and....Chase and Niamh (aka Sinshine...it’s a joke ship name but I’m starting to think of it in unironic terms girl help) have been living rent free, not paying utilities, not chipping in for groceries,even, for QUITE a long stint and I just feel vindicated since I published her profile after literally a year plus. So naturally: wordvom.

So uhhh enjoy this weird blurb I guess? And spoilers-ish kind of not really-nothing too big for the Shepherds of Haven alpha build. Chase is Lena’s ( @shepherds-of-haven ) rascal, Niamh is the she/her in question she’s really cute and this is my self-indulgent take on the start of Chase being Soft(tm) for Niamh and the start of so much denial.

——-

He pretended he didn’t notice.

He pretended he didn’t notice the way her hair shifted from copper to rose gold, how the iladrin in her eyes gave them the glow of firelight. He pretended he didn’t see how she alternated between shamed Diminished and stalwart Captain, sometimes forgetting she was the latter. He acted like he didn’t catch the playful gleam in her eye and the sincere, joyful smile she willingly gave when they joked. The feeling did not tug at him to make her smile more; there was no desire to see that beaming bright-as-the-sun grin that stunned him.

He didn’t think about how she jumped in puddles when no one was looking on rainy days of patrolling, of how she was fire in a fight, but all quiet questions and remarks that hit dead center. He didn’t think about the way her blush darkened her tawny skin down past the dip of her collarbone, or the curve of her waist and the feel of her against the hard planes of his chest squeezed together in a storage room. Funny, he had been a consummate professional at that moment, and the Captain couldn’t help but make a sassy little innuendo, backpedaling faster than a court jester riding a unicycle crossing a monster-filled moat when he called her bluff.

He didn’t catch how when she was nervous, her hand flew to the back of her covered neck, searching for a phantom pain to suppress. When she told him the why of it all, she showed him- bared her throat like an offering, like when wolves show deference. Her abridged secret spilled forth, the honesty blindsiding him, but more so, the unmistakable twinge of self-loathing he recognized in her voice.

He didn’t linger on how their eyes would meet for just a moment too long- too long for friends, certainly. But she was earnest (so damn earnest) in her claim that he was one.

He didn’t dwell on the fact she had the brain of a hustler but the most gentle, solid gold heart. Unwilling to hurt people or do them wrong because she was good at it or because it was easy, even when she was hurt first. He didn’t think about how he would typically dismiss such martyrdom, but something had changed.

It didn’t cross his mind- the thought that she was changing him, unknowingly. Or that he was changing her. Or maybe they were doing this themselves- the catalyst being an assumption that she was the easiest mark that day. Would he instead have preferred to face Blade’s icy wrath or Trouble’s flashfire temper? Instead of this tiny and disarming ray of light that was sometimes too bright, too good, and made him want to scatter back to the shadows- to counting coin and his schemes and thinking that people like that don’t exist?

People who are met with hard, unyielding force either break or harden in return, they don’t extend trust and kindness and warmth, they don’t make him feel wanted,needed for simply being himself-

(They don’t stare at him over a bread bowl with the biggest, saddest eyes and ask softly for a little trust in return)

No, Chase didn’t notice. He didn’t think about it at all.

—-

#okay time to go back to drawing their kid who doesn’t have the name but I’m currently referring to as ‘The Devil Child’#chase x niamh #shepherds of haven #niamh valendil #chase trinaeste #also I edited this and it's still pretty meh but again it's about the Indulgence #also I talk about unicycles like they’re real things in this universe but I’m talking some creative liberty #because that backpedaling analogy made me laugh harder than it should have when it thought of it so we keep it

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