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#because in the face of Him and his Existance as a spawn isa feels like a whining ungrateful child
shadowglens · 8 months
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isa has such a complicated relationship with her childhood and trauma. she'll downplay it at most opportunities, or simply lie to avoid a conversation she doesn't want to have. before the events of bg3, only one person outside of her immediate family knows of her past, and esra is isadora's most trusted confidant. no one in the party discovers even an inkling of her past until act 3.
she isn't an orphan, wasn't horribly abused, didn't have something equally as terrible happen to her as a young child, and when most people she meets have had something truly horrible happen to them, it seems small of her to complain. her parents weren't cruel and provided her a fairly well-off upbringing with a governess to boot. still, when she came of age, she didn't hesitate to flee neverwinter and never return.
her human parents, particularly her mother, were mortified when isa was born with her pink toned skin and stubby horns and the inkling of a tail. her mother outright refused to try for more children for the fear of birthing any more tieflings, and grieved the large family she had always wanted for years when isa was young. her father loved her as much as he could in his stilted way, but he also never brought her into the family's merchant business despite her begging.
isa wasn't locked away, per se, but she had known from a very young age that she'd brought shame to her family, that she was unwanted. she was fed, and educated, and given any and all lessons she wanted, but she had few friends and suffered more scalding from her governess than she did affection from her parents. it was a lonely, guilded cage of a childhood.
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nadziejastar · 4 years
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I have a theory regarding Saix's hatred of Xion. Xion is the personification of Sora's memories of Kairi. It is heavily implied that Kairi was wrapped up in the experiments at Radiant Garden, as were Lea and Isa. I wonder, was the connection to Kairi somehow dredging up bad memories? Just a thought.
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“Aeleus, where is the girl?” Xehanort asked.
“She’s asleep…” Aeleus pointed to the capsule room in the back.
The girl was very particular—unique among people. They had not been able to create any Heartless using her heart. Perhaps because she was too young, or perhaps…
Xehanort disappeared into the capsule room.
Yeah, I wish we learned exactly what was done to Kairi. In the novels, it said they tried to create darkness using her heart, but were unable to. So, she was definitely experimented on.
One of the Ansem Reports mentioned trying to “cultivate darkness in a pure heart”. But beyond that? I have no clue. I honestly have no idea if Kairi herself being related to Xion had an impact on Saïx’s memories. Especially since Saïx couldn’t even “see” her. I think the story may have just been written that way because all those characters had something in common.
Lea and Isa were test subjects. Kairi was, too. And so was Ventus. He was Master Xehanort’s original guinea pig. Ven’s story is actually a lot like Xion’s. He wanted to sacrifice himself to protect his friends and not be used as a human weapon. Isa probably had a similar backstory, so there were a lot of parallels to him and Xion.
Saïx’s connection to Kairi was probably more indirect than direct. I think the Replica Project was innately tied to the original experiments, and that might have influenced why Saïx hated Xion so much in particular, in addition to his jealousy. It was just his hatred for Replicas in general because of what he knew about them and how they were created. That’s what brought back memories. 
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One thing I am sure of is that they are entirely devoid of emotion. Perhaps further study will unlock the mysteries of the heart. Fortunately, there is no shortage of test samples. They are multiplying underground even as I write this report.
I don’t think Saïx’s feelings about Replicas make sense without his past as a human test subject. I think what Axel said in Re:CoM was meant to be a hint of his and Isa’s involvement in the experiments. Unlike Kairi, Lea and Isa were most likely made to directly interact with the Heartless in order to study their behavioral principles.
There is no doubt that the Heartless are deeply connected to the people's hearts. Further study may unravel both their motivations and the mysteries shrouding the heart. As a start, I have built a device that artificially creates Heartless. By recreating the conditions that spawn the Heartless naturally, I should be able to produce them artificially. This may be a step toward creating a heart from nothing.
Also, Lea and Isa were probably involved in an experiment to create a heart from nothing. Or in other words, a heart made out of data. This experiment involved in recreating the original conditions that spawned the Heartless naturally. The original experiments caused the subjects’ hearts to collapse. So, that experiment involved something very dark happening to them.
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“Oh ho. So it’s a fight you want. Very well! Fight me, if you can!”
That was exactly the method by which Vexen would obtain Riku’s power. He was a scientist by nature, not well suited to combat…but there was no better option. All he had to do was draw out the greatest strength the boy could muster. And then, if he succeeded in mass-producing the replicas, the Organization would have greater power than ever before. Far beyond even Emblem Heartless.
Vexen deflected a strike from Soul Eater with his shield of ice. “Release your rage… Show me the strength of the darkness you harbor!”
Again and again, Riku swung his sword, and each time Vexen accumulated more of his memories and power as data.
I think the entire point of both the Replica Program and making the Emblem Heartless was to create a heart out of data. That was Even’s goal in the experiments. He was motivated by scientific advancement. Vexen fought Riku to acquire memories of him while he’s in a rage. Then he used that data and installed it into the Replica, which later grew a heart. So, his Project was successful.
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It is my duty to expose what this darkness really is. I shall conduct the following experiments:
-Extract the darkness from a person's heart.
-Cultivate darkness in a pure heart.
-Both suppress and amplify the darkness within.
I think Kairi was an example of “cultivating darkness in a pure heart.” Ventus was an example of “extracting the darkness from a person’s heart.” Lea and Isa were probably involved in an experiment meant to “amplify the darkness within” one of them.
“No. It is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage!” Xehanort shouted to Ventus.
I don’t know how to. There’s nothing like that in me. I can’t change my fear into rage. I’m just scared.
“You must! If you do not let the storm within you run its course, it will wipe you from the face of the world, make no mistake! Do it. Embrace the darkness. Produce for your Master the χ-Blade!”
How does the darkness within get amplified? By creating rage. How to create rage? When Ventus was experimented on, Master Xehanort was trying sharpen his fear into rage.
“Fear’s an emotion. It doesn’t exist for us.”
“But…I am feeling it. I’m scared right now.” Axel and Xion ceasing to exist—the thought was even more frightening to him than his own termination. Roxas didn’t want to dwell on it at all.
Axel looked away into the distance. “Something in you probably does remember what it’s like to be scared. So you think you’re feeling it now.”
Day 150 is called “Fear”. This was an important idea to Axel’s backstory. On this day, Axel and Roxas talk about what they couldn’t bear to lose. Axel says fear isn’t something Nobodies can feel.
“Man, don’t scare us like that,” Axel complained.
“I’ll try not to.”
“You stay in bed, okay? Take it easy.”
“I will,” she said meekly and smiled at them. “Thanks, guys.”
But on Day 193, Axel was scared when Xion collapsed. He was very pissed off at Saïx, too, for knowingly putting him in a situation that would make him feel fear. To me, it seemed like he remembered being scared of losing Isa. Something very traumatic happened.
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Saïx: Did it break again? That didn’t take long.
Axel: Keep your mouth shut.
Saïx: You have changed... Something at Castle Oblivion changed you. Does the past mean nothing to you now?
Saïx was mad, too. He was remembering something traumatic from the past as well. And the “broken” comment set Axel off.
“You see how powerless you are to save them? Savor that rage and despair. Let it empower you!”
What good was the power of light if it couldn’t save his two friends? It was meaningless. He would be able to save them if he was strong enough.
If so…If that’s how it is…
“Yes, boy, that’s it! More! Let your whole heart blacken with anger!”
Terra didn’t care that the power thrumming through him belonged to the darkness. As long as it made him strong.
Basically, once the apprentices learned how the Heartless behaved and what motivated them, I think they decided to perform an experiment to recreate the conditions that spawned the original Heartless. This was so that they could get the necessary data to create a heart. So, they decided to amplify the darkness in Lea’s heart to turn him into a Heartless. They knew his biggest fear, which was losing Isa. They were probably going to torture and kill Isa right in front of Lea. Lea’s fear would sharpen into rage and they could use the data from those memories to create a heart. 
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“You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m protecting those islands!” Riku rushed into range, but this time the Claymore, Saïx’s sword, was there to block Soul Eater.
“How do you expect to protect anything when you’ve cloaked yourself in darkness? You sold your soul for power. Was it worth it?”
Isa just so happens to have a berserk mode, which is pure RAGE. I think Isa was the one who went berserk during this experiment. He was not the intended target.
“Wait—you had your fun on the first floor.” Larxene flashed her most bewitching smile. “This time, it’s my turn.”
“…Don’t break him,” were the words that slipped unconsciously out of Axel’s mouth.
“Ohhh, do I detect a soft spot?”
“You don’t trust me?” Larxene slumped in mock disappointment. “I know when to let up. I’m not stupid enough to break my toys.”
Isa was just a toy. Someone (probably Braig) had fun torturing him and used his screams of pain and anguish to try and get Lea to succumb to darkness. He went berserk and became possessed by darkness, but he was motivated by love, so his heart did not collapse and he didn’t become a Heartless, making him the special and unique Subject X and a vessel.
“No, I won’t do it. He told me the only way the χ-Blade can be forged is if you and me fight. Well, guess what? I’m not fighting,” Ven said, his back still turned.
“You used to be too broken to talk back,” Vanitas retorted.
But Isa was probably “broken” after that ordeal, like Ventus was originally.
Day 150: Dealing with Xion
Author: Saïx
As expected, the Duplicate is starting to show its limits. The Program showed promise, but a puppet is just a puppet: something to be toyed with until it breaks. I am utterly at a loss as to what Roxas and Axel see in that thing. How best to dispose of it merits my consideration going forward.
It’s no wonder why Saïx would hate a Replica, if he knew they were created from memories of conflict and rage. It’d bring back memories for sure, no matter who the Replica was based on. And I think he probably did know how Replicas were made. Even Axel was a lot more understanding of Saïx’s treatment of Xion once he realized she was a Replica. He even felt uncomfortable around her at first, too.
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kyndaris · 5 years
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May Your Heart be Your Guiding Key
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For almost a week, I stayed cooped up at home and played as much of Kingdom Hearts 3 as I could. The hype was real and I was simply excited to have the game in my hands. Of course, being employed full-time meant that I had to use some of my precious annual leave. To be fair though, I had plenty of it since I hardly used it and my manager actually does not want to see me go and relax because apparently I’m quite necessary to the general business side of things. But because of my obligations, there are times when it can be difficult to keep on top of the latest and greatest titles. Particularly because I do not work as a game journalist or have a dedicated YouTube or Twitch channel with plenty of ad revenue to fund a starving artist. 
And let’s be honest: even if I grabbed a decent streaming or recording device on the cheap, the market has since been so saturated, it’ll be hard to make much of a dent. A singular person can only go so far and editing is no simple task.
But back to the series that sparked my endless joy in video games in general!
The game starts off from the ending of Dream Drop Distance. Sora has lost many of his accumulated abilities and powers after nearly falling becoming a vessel for Xehanort. To find a means of regaining his strength, Sora and his companions: Donald and Goofy head towards Olympus where Hercules suffered his own performance issues in the second numbered installment of the franchise to see if the hero might be able provide any answers. This is jokingly referred to as Kingdom Hearts 2.9 and serves as a rudimentary tutorial to the controls. 
Within the two to three hours of gameplay, players are re-introduced to a more basic flowmotion, shotlocks and attractions. Gone are the reaction commands and drive forms of yesteryear. Instead, Sora is able to tap into keyblade transformations and joint attacks with his companions.
Once the story for the world ends, Sora is no closer to reclaiming the Power of Waking but he has hope for what the future might bring and heads back to Master Yen Sid to report back in. There, he is met by Riku and Mickey who had travelled to the Realm of Darkness to rescue Aqua - only for her to be missing and their own keyblades damaged when they encountered a Demon Tower. 
Plot points are exchanged and Sora is charged with heading to various Disney worlds so that he can find some way to unlock the power slumbering within him. The excuse felt flimsy but I hardly cared - eager as I was to delve into Arendelle, the Toy Box and various others worlds.
Each of the Disney worlds have their own story with only fleeting exchanges with Organization XIII members that provide some more insight into the overall plot. While several followed the plot beats from their respective films, the Pixar worlds as well as San Fransokyo contained their own individuals stories separate from the films. And for a good twenty to thirty hours, I enjoyed interacting with the likes of Woody and Buzz to Hiro to Captain Jack Sparrow.
Then there were the cutscenes with a focus on many of the other characters. Brief snippets of Kairi and Lea as they trained. Riku and Mickey as they gathered more information about the Organization’s plans and uncovered information that the players may have already been familiar with if they played the entries that were scattered on numerous platforms (but which were all collated in the PlayStation 3 and PlayStation 4 collections).
By the end of the all the Disney worlds, however, Sora was no closer to regaining the lost Power of Waking. Plot being plot, though, he was soon diving head-first into danger in order to save Riku and the King when they failed to respond in their second attempt to rescue Aqua. From there, the plot quickens and before long, Aqua is saved and Ventus is woken from his decade long slumber. With the final battle at hand, the Seven Guardians of Light have a day of rest though it is clear that many are eager to save their friends that were still lost: Roxas, Terra and Namine.
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As one, they travel to the Keyblade Graveyard only to be met by countless Heartless as the Organization unleashes their plan. And for one brief moment, the Guardians of Light fall. Sora is sent to the Final World and experiences a brief Harry Potter moment. After retrieving his missing pieces, he returns and like the film Groundhog Day, he relives the disaster that befell them until he rescues the hearts of his friends from a Heartless known as the Lich before the power of Light pulls its own Deus Ex Machina by summoning both the Lingering Will to combat Terra-Xehanort and all the players of Union X to defeat the Demon Horde of Heartless.
With these obstacles out of the way, the Guardians race to Master Xehanort. Aided as well by Master Yen Sid, they enter a labyrinth and clash with the Seekers that Xehanort brought to his side: Dark Riku (when he was possessed by Ansem and using a replica), Xigbar, Saix, Luxord, Larxene, Marluxia, Xion, Vanitas, Terra-Xehanort, Young Xehanort, Ansem and Xemnas.
After each is struck down, many reveal their hidden motivations for joining with Master Xehanort. While I found myself sympathetic to quite a few, I could not shake the feeling that some of them were contrived explanations for the villains to exist.
But though it seemed as if victory was close at hand, Master Xehanort reveals Kairi being held hostage. In order to spawn the X-blade, he strikes down the defenseless girl. Enraged, Sora rushes to attack only to be knocked aside. Seeing his plan come to fruition, Master Xehanort summons Kingdom Hearts as the culmination of his plans.
With the aid of his friends, Sora uses a beam of light to trap Master Xehanort and is taken to Scala ad Caelum. For someone who has dabbled with Union X, there were shades of Daybreak Town found within.
Eager to finish, though, I pushed on through and managed to defeat Master Xehanort at last. A slew of cutscenes soon followed but no Kairi was to be found. And as the ending played and many of the other characters managed to gain a happy ending, Sora was still desperate to find his dear friend and set out on a solitary journey. Whether or not he found her - as well as the price he paid was left ambiguous by game’s end. And for someone who has sacrificed so much, it did feel unsatisfying that Sora could not achieve the happily ever after that I so craved.
Even Kairi’s character and service to the plot seemed less than inspired. I could not shake the feeling that she was treated merely as a means to support Sora’s grand story arc. The fact that she was so easily kidnapped by Xemnas and then summarily executed felt like lazy storytelling.
Even Master Xehanort’s reveal that he was only seeking Kingdom Hearts so that he could reset the world felt like a cheap excuse to bring the Dark Seeker saga to a resolution. In fact, Kingdom Hearts 3 also dropped many additional plot points that only added to the mystery. The epilogue revealed that Xigbar was actually Luxu, one of the six apprentices of the Master of Masters. Additionally, Demyx, Luxord, Larxene and Marluxia were all hinted to have ties to the guilds of the Foretellers and the Dandelions, but none of these were properly explored.
Worse was the fact that Isa and Lea had only joined Ansem the Wise in order to help a girl that had become their friend. Who she was remained a mystery though there was a possibility her heart was encountered in the Final World. Even Maleficent and Pete made several cameos only to leave their story dropped half-way through the game.
Kingdom Hearts 3 is not a perfect game by all means. The narrative was one of the weakest out of all the other games in the Dark Seeker Saga. But the combat and the joy that it brought with its focus on Disney worlds was still enough to bring a smile to my face.
As someone who wants to uncover all the secrets to the franchise, this blogger, at least, will be looking forward to the next saga. Whether or not Sora will be the main protagonist is up in the air but I would also be excited to see someone else take the reins. Kingdom Hearts 3 feels like the end of a legacy and while the door to the last seventeen years comes to a close, another one is open.
Let’s just hope it doesn’t take as long for all these remaining mysteries to be answered.
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On a side note, the loss of Leonard Nimoy was clearly felt in this entry. The new voice actor brings his own flair to the character but Spock will be missed.
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nadziejastar · 5 years
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Another possible reason for toning down the darkness of the experiments is that it makes it easier to ignore the sins of the apprentices. If they're tearing apart the minds and souls of numerous people including children in pursuit of research they are monsters. But if they just did vague experiments and only one victim has a name it's much easier for them to atone.
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It appears my other five apprentices, believing it was for the sake of research, stared deep into the darkness and were pulled into it. Even, Ienzo, Braig, Dilan, and Aeleus…They have ceased to be human. I, too, have had everything taken away from me, banished to a hollow realm of nothingness. What is Xehanort hoping to gain with my pilfered existence? Will my people cease to smile? If the light of hope has been extinguished, I shall henceforth walk with darkness as a friend. Here, in the realm of nothingness to which I have been relegated. Darkness in the midst of nothing. “Darkness in Zero.” Thus, I shall be known as DiZ. Discarding the stolen name “Ansem”…And going in search of revenge.
Yeah, it really pissed me off how the apprentices just got off the hook with no explanation whatsoever. I mean, what the heck? I was flabbergasted. They kidnapped people and turned them into Heartless. Many died, and were then given to the Heartless to see how they would react. 
Dilan and Aeleus teared up when Ansem came back. Um, hello, aren’t you guys the ones who banished him? They destroyed Ansem’s life. He hated them. He set off for revenge and became DiZ because of them. I can see him forgiving Ienzo quickly since he was a little kid at the time. But the others??? No way.
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As a start, I have built a device that artificially creates Heartless. By recreating the conditions that spawn the Heartless naturally, I should be able to produce them artificially. This device is the culmination of all my research thus far. The machine’s test run successfully created a Heartless. This may be a step toward creating a heart from nothing. The artificially and naturally created Heartless showed nearly identical traits. But the two types remain distinct for the purpose of the experiment. So, I will mark the ones that are created artificially.
It was so ridiculous. And then “Ansem” was accusing Ansem the Wise of sacrificing children. What the hell! The way they retconned the experiments like that made me so mad. Learning about the experiments was one of my most anticipated story points.
Xehanort developed a machine that created Heartless. And he is the one who spawned all of them. Why are they even still allowed to be working at the castle? Wouldn’t the citizens riot? They literally destroyed Radiant Garden and turned it into a shithole. And they are responsible for countless people losing their hearts. Leon and Cloud would personally go over there and beat the shit out of the apprentices, LOL. None of these retcons made any sense at all.
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The two who stood guard at the gates were researchers themselves, though you wouldn’t think it to see them, massive and barrel-chested as they were.
I highly doubt Lea and Isa entered the castle through the front gate. There are two armed guards blocking the whole entrance. How would they even “slip past” them?
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And slipping past that duo was only the first hurdle. It proved one not easily cleared; we were found and tossed out on our ears, time and again.
They probably entered where Sora did. A hidden entrance that led straight to the basement. They wouldn’t have needed to slip past them. It probably was not as noticeable in the past, so it allowed them to slip in undetected. The fact that this was a new dungeon added in KH2FM+ shows just how important these experiments were. I’m so pissed we’ll never get to learn about them. They were intriguing. Skuld’s memory is NOT.
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On the day we finally secured our entry, we descended the long spiral stair at the heart of the castle to find a dark space below it, lined with cages.
If they entered through the front, they’d need to use the computer to access the stairs. Even Xemnas needed a password to go there. I’m sure the apprentices made sure their evil lab was secure.
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By night, the muffled sounds of human wails emerged. There was talk of dangerous human experimentation. Lea and I couldn’t help but hatch a plot to steal inside and sate our curiosity.
Look at this long ass stairway. It’s a looong way down. This is how the experiments were kept secret from Ansem. The castle is HUGE. And this is also why the idea of Lea and Isa hearing human wails from the outside is unlikely. Also, I doubt they would have tried breaking in if they heard fucking wailing that loud. These are sheltered kids who grew up in a garden paradise.
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There wasn’t light enough to see if they were inhabited, and we were in no position to call out to any occupants within. Yet we could feel it. A definite presence, there in the black. Terror washed over us, and we immediately regretted coming. But just as we turned to flee, we heard the faintest of voices. The urge to run was nigh overpowering, but someone or something beckoned us on. There, framed by a tenuous sliver of light, we found her.
This is where they would have been. You can see the cages. They’re locked by codes. Yeah, they’d be terrified. Not in any position to make friends. You can see the Chamber of Repose in the back.
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It was too dim to make out her features. We spoke to her in hushed whispers. Who was she? Why was she imprisoned here? She had no answers for us. Had no memories at all. She was an enigma, but I knew I wanted to help her. And so we continued our infiltrations, most of them stopped short at the castle gates. When we did manage our way inside, we spoke with her. That was all the comfort two children like us could offer. But Lea had other ideas. He was determined to free her.
This is what it would have looked like from the inside. I think Kairi was kept there while Xehanort was trying to see if he could turn her into a Heartless. And Lea and Isa just happened upon her that day. But just once. Then they were snatched.
Am I alive? I awoke in a cell, alone until the researchers came with their tests and their prodding to uncover my identity. I had no answer to offer them. Four friends, and a key…that is the sum total of my memory. I could not even recall my name. I was simply called “X” there. My only solace was the time I spent talking with the two boys who would visit from time to time. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch. Even now, years on, I feel no closer to understanding who or what I am.
I think Isa was put in one of those cells. Lea most likely was as well. Why would they lock Skuld up like that if they simply wanted to restore her memories? It’s such B.S. Makes absolutely NO sense.
Subject exhibits signs of profound amnesia, and displays concern for which world this is. Her words suggest that she departed her home world with others, though she cannot recall the names of her erstwhile companions. All efforts to explore those memories have met with a rejection response.
So, my theory all along has been that Ansem the Wise originally wrote this report, and that it was about Isa. And the erstwhile companions, were actually just one erstwhile companion…Lea. To me, that report always did sound like it was written in more of Ansem’s speaking style than Xehanort’s.
My erstwhile friend the King and his subjects, along with a hero wielding the Keyblade, are battling the Heartless even as a new threat approaches. This new threat…they have given themselves a fitting name, I suppose.These non-beings: “Nobodies.”
And I just noticed this now. In one of Ansem’s reports from KH2, he actually uses the same word. “Erstwhile”. LOL.
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We slipped into the castle that day knowing only that we wanted, with all our hearts, to save her. But we did not find her inside on that day or the next, or any of our subsequent visits. Had she been moved? Had we simply imagined her? Lea and I knew there was only one way to be certain. And so we stand before the castle gates today, not as trespassing children but in order to become Ansem the Wise’s newest apprentices.
And this is the chamber that was built after Ansem was banished, and the “graveyard” was sealed. It’s right where all the cages are. 
“Where is Lord Xemnas?”
“Where he usually is,” Zexion answered. Vexen frowned.
“The ‘sleeping room’?” Vexen muttered irritably.
“If it’s urgent business, how about you try going there?”
“Stop kidding around!” Vexen snapped, and turned his back on Zexion. “I can’t go there… can’t be helped. I’ll wait for him to return. Yah no, every second is precious… he only does this when I need him! Call it bad timing or call it…” Vexen, simmering and muttering, walked off.
Vexen says he can’t go to the Chamber of Repose? Interesting. Bad memories there? I can see that. My theory has always been that he wasn’t willingly involved in the experiments.
Zexion started walking again. That moment, the echoes of a voice came from above his head.
“I don’t do well with that place, either. What do you think, kindred spirits, Lord Zexion?”
Looking up on reflex, there was a lone man seated on the beams of the yet unfinished building. A man–Xigbar, had the hood of his black organisation cloak pulled up, and Zexion was unable to see his expression.
And Xigbar doesn’t like it either, huh? I can also see that.
Day 117: Him and Roxas
Roxas is maturing at an impressive rate. His face, the way he handles the Keyblade, it’s all exactly the same. The worlds seem so divided and alone, but there’s always that steady thread there to connect them. And we Nobodies can never escape the things we did as humans. So it goes.
Deep down, I do think he feels guilty about what he’s done, and his suicide was NOT supposed to be just a ruse. As if!
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