#because i started daydreaming about them when wandavision released and i learned about tommy and billy
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im going through a very heartbreaking thing rn and theres no way to explain it without seeming deranged.
#lasi.txt#so basically: followers of this blog will know that i like the young avengers#you may also recall that theyve been living in my brain for around 2 years now#that is the topic of this post: my daydreaming#the version of the young avengers in my brain was created on purpose i think. it was supposed to be a mcu version of the ya#because i started daydreaming about them when wandavision released and i learned about tommy and billy#the original version of this was very embarassing. notes on it live in my notion. the lineup included harvey keener and many champions.#in the past 2 years that 'storyline' has remained: everything going up in my brain is a show#there are 2 seasons where season 2 is divided into A and B and there is a movie#but also i imagined so much with my lineup. thats where my daydreaming kicks in.#my characters went through everything i went through in the past 2 but as actors in their show#in doing so they became entirely different characters and little versions of me. and theyve been with me. for two. full. years.#this isnt out of the ordinary to me. before this i have 3 different daydream stories that all stuck with me for months#these are constant daydreams. im always thinking of the same little people for months at a time.#but recently a new story has taken over. its a new story im developing#i like thinking about this new story a bunch but one day i realized that i wasnt thinking about the young avengers#something about that shattered my soul inside. these characters that live inside my brain that i will never write anything with are ME.#i dont want to lose them. but this is just a natural process that my own brain.#but i dont want to move on all of a sudden. there is so much that happened in my head with the young avengers#im fighting my own brain trying to bring back things my brain itself made but that my brain itself is trying to take away#i will probably think about the jewel guard (new story) for a few months if not years. but god..#and im not thinking of them anymore and i keep trying to and i just cant. im losing them#the feeling of my characters (that are not even mine) being taken away makes me want to throw up#these characters were ME. i gave them EVERYTHING. i gave them my fears and they turned them into confidence.#and let me remind you: this is all in my own brain.#goddddd. this is why the base text of this post is what it is cuz i really do sound crazy omg#there really is no way to explain all of this without sounding crazy
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