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#bc ultimately this comes down to an accomodation for anxiety. he may think it's senseless but it's real to me.
orcelito ยท 1 year
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So I found out upon checking my email this morning that the therapy appointment isn't in the health building like I thought, but rather in the basement of a boy's only dorm further north
Which brings up two problems: that's even further away than I'd accounted for, and I find it SUPREMELY uncomfortable to go to a boy's only dorm for therapy, even if the office is in one of the general areas.
I'd already been conceding on the matter of agreeing to talk to a man, since I'm generally uncomfortable with talking to men I don't know, but it was the soonest appointment I could get... so I agreed to it, but finding out it's in the boy's only dorm is just Too Much. Not only would it make it even harder to get there, but my skin just kinda crawls thinking about baring my fuckin heart in a place so thoroughly meant for guys. Like it's a place I don't belong, which REALLY does not help give the comfort kinda required of such an appointment.
I called the office asking if the appointment could be set up on zoom (bc it mentioned it in the email), but the therapist was staunch on it being in-person, so I rescheduled with a different person for the 13th. Bc if this dude isn't gonna be understanding with my discomfort with the location, like fuckin hell I'm gonna let myself be emotionally vulnerable with him. Bet he was thinking I was being too picky like "Oh it's a stupid Girl who can't handle being around Men" like sorry I have a healthy fear of guys I don't know ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹ if U have a problem with it then change society so talking to unknown men doesn't feel like walking in a minefield. Thanks.
#speculation nation#so. no appointment today. i asked the receptionist just to be Sure of the location for the one next week#and yeah it's not gonna be in a fucking boy's only dorm#genuinely why the hell did they schedule me with someone there. ugh.#bit of a bummer but i do feel like i dodged a bullet#bc if the dude isnt gonna be understanding about this. why would he be understanding about other things?#bc ultimately this comes down to an accomodation for anxiety. he may think it's senseless but it's real to me.#being around men i dont know is just so uncomfortable. makes me so nervous. and Especially at a boy's college dorm...#if the guy cant concede to that then i cant trust him to be understanding of my other Issues. so it's better like this.#really fuckin annoying though. but i cant say i'm disappointed to have the extra time in my morning.#so it's... fine. i'll manage. im just vaguely disgruntled by it all.#negative/#Probs. im certainly complaining enough.#& pls dont come at me with the 'not all men' shtick. i Know majority of men are just normal people#but even among normal men i sometimes just feel like a hunk of meat to them#once i know a man & know hes not gonna try to hit on me or be creepy to me then i'm just fine#but unknown men. anything could happen. even an okay man could make me uncomfortable if he's overly friendly or hits on me#this is just basic self preservation ok. if youre a small 'girl' you learn very young to be careful with these things. ok.#anyways so that's My morning lol. ugh
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