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cookinguptales · 2 years

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Love living out here in the forest, hate having to drive two hours every time I need to have blood drawn lmao.

Today we have to drive to the nearest town with a LabCorp because I need a lot of bloodwork done, which means I have to go on a long car ride without any food or electrolyte tablets (my love) in my system for about 12 hours. I have a whole host of chronic illnesses, so lbr, this is gonna fuck me up. Good chance I’ll be very iffy the next couple days. If you really need me, send me a chat or an ask so it doesn’t get lost in my notifications and I’ll get back to you when I can! I promise.

I say this because next week I am going to be even more iffy so just in case I don’t feel up to talking before then, I’m not dead! I’m just gonna be hooked up to an IV for several days lmao.

[cut for personal stuff]

I haven’t been talking about it really in-depth because frankly, I doubt people really want to hear the gory details of my personal life but like. Things have been pretty bad for the past eight months or so. Health-wise. I mean, they’re always pretty bad, but things have been... worse. I always joke about oh, I can’t see today, oh I can’t keep food down, oh my body sounds crazy today but like. Honestly speaking, it’s been really hard. My work has suffered, my writing has suffered, my mental health has suffered. The brain fog has been absolutely unreal. I can’t tell you how frustrated I’ve been with these stories in my brain that I can’t seem to draw out. I want to show you them so badly and I’m running out of time... Sigh.

I digress. I was in the process of getting signed up for ketamine treatments before the pandemic hit and I’ve finally gotten an appointment to get started next week. Again, I don’t really talk about it much in detail but like. Yeah, I’ve had MDD since I was in elementary school and there have been some very dangerous periods in my life. It’s extremely treatment resistant and if we’re being entirely honest, dark thoughts are just kind of the cosmic background radiation of my life and have been since I was too young to even understand what I was thinking about. It’s been even harder to push through lately, but ketamine has been shown to help in a lot of SSRI-resistant situations... idk. They say it should also help with the pain, but I guess we’ll see. I’ve sure heard that before.

(At least if no one else is having a good time, I’ve sure given some doctors a puzzle they enjoy...)

I’m kind of scared, honestly. It’s a daunting set of (somewhat experimental) procedures anyway, but also like... I’m scared that it won’t work and this will just be my brain forever? But I’m also scared that it will and I’m going to have to figure out how I’m going to afford this going forward. It’s not covered by my insurance. 🙃 So my brain’s kind of all over the place, but some of that is also that I’m hungry and dizzy as hell but I won’t get to eat or consume salt for another *checks watch* 4-5 hours. ;;

(Why yes, I’m sure I do sound very scattered rn. Don’t worry, I’m not the one driving. lmao)

idk, just trying to keep my head up. We have to drive all the way down to freaking San Francisco next week and I’m not looking forward to THAT drive, but I’m hoping I have the energy to do some grocery shopping down there. Again, love the forest. Hate the food selection out here in the middle of absolute nowhere. lmao

I do not know how the ketamine is going to affect me just like, frankly speaking, I usually don’t know how fucking any medication is going to affect my weird-ass body. I could be fine and happy as a clam posting about vampires next week! But I could also be out like a damn light and totally uncontactable. So heads up either way.

OH BUT SILVER LINING the doctor did say I’m allowed to take my motion sickness pills before we drive down today, and if you’ve ever been on the roads up in the far northern part of California, you will know why I about cried with relief lmao.

#just me #my notifs have been kind of a mess lately with DD #so if I miss any replies or anything I'm sorry ;;#asks and chats go to a separate inbox so that's a more reliable way to get my attention #look man I know this is a ramble but it's not like LJ still exists so you'll just have to put up with me

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bardapologist · 5 years

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Hey there, I just wanted to ask if you have any advice for making distance relationships less sad? 😔

i’ve had this message sitting in my inbox for over a year. i’m no longer in long distance relationship, and i don’t know if you are either, anon, but either way, welcome to…….. long distance relationships: a retrospective

there’s no tried and true way to make it easier. the fact of the matter is, they’re tough and lonely and expensive. but here’s some advice, from my own experience.

1. trust

this might seem like a weird and/or obvious thing to put first, but it’s the most important thing on the list. ldrs require a level of trust and maturity that supersedes that of a regular relationship because anxiety and loneliness are going to be exacerbated by uncertainty. trust is what will let you and your partner live healthy lives apart. this is true for every relationship, but is non-negotiably vital in an ldr.

2. time

like with any relationship, you have to make time for each other. the difference in a ldr is that its much harder to multitask in that time, because of the restrictions of *how* you’re able to spend time together. if you spend time together through discord, or skype, or playing games, you’re tired to you computer, at the very least, for the duration of that time.

its important to factor this in to your routine in a way that does not leave you solely tied to your home at all times. and i emphasize that word routine, because working your partner into your life in a way that’s predictable and reliable for both of you is going to dramatically help with not ONLY making sure you spend time together, but also being able to have a separate, active life outside of your computer.

if you have trouble with time management, try a google calendar that you share!

3. a social life

a big mistake you can make in an ldr is shutting yourself in, or boxing out your other friends. when youre in a long distance relationship, the best combatant for that loneliness is going to be getting yourself out in the world with friends you can see and spend time with in person. this is so immensely vital to happiness, and its important to encourage your partner to do the same. remember that there’s a balance - but if you have routine with your partner, finding time for socializing and each other can be super easy.

dont forget to cultivate and keep up with your friendships - they’re just as important as your relationship.

4. fun

this is classic ldr content, but find things you can do together! sites like rabb.it will let you stream videos together, you can video chat on discord, share music and make playlists, play games together (diablo 3, borderlands 2, world of warcraft, and animal crossing are my personal ldr gaming recommendations) - try to find things that you’re both equally interested in. while sometimes it might be tempting to just go about your own lives while sitting in a call, having an activity to do together will result in an actually fulfilling experience together, rather than simply having company. both can be beneficial, but it’s all about striking the right balance!

5. the light at the end of the tunnel

alright, so here’s my point. my main takeaway from being in a long distance relationship. not everyone is cut out for it. and that’s okay! two people can be great for each other and still not work out. long distance relationships, for so many reasons, are very hard to maintain if you’re only in it casually - and quite honestly, if you’re not in it for the long haul, it’s probably not worth it.

think about what you want, and have an honest conversation with your partner about what they want. where will your careers take you? what do the next 5 years look like in terms of school, work, and location? if you don’t have an end date for the ldr, you need to make sure that you’re both committed to a future with that kind of uncertainty.

the best thing you can do for yourself, and my biggest piece of advice in all of this, is put yourself first. are you going to move cities/states/countries for this person? what would you be sacrificing if you did? is your life universally more fulfilled with them in it, or would leaving the relationship give you room to grow?

i think that the right people can make a long distance relationship work. but if you’re young, think about your future. because when all is said, the only thing that’s truly going to make a long distance relationship less sad is it not being long distance anymore.

#Anonymous

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profitablepractices · 4 years

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How to Get an Affordable Receptionist, Assistant, Bookkeeper, and other Support Staff!

Are you just looking for a reliable receptionist to answer your phone on a "pay by the number of calls answered" basis? Someone who will take messages, answer basic questions from callers about your practice fees, location, insurance, and other simple questions, and then coordinate a callback time so that you don't waste time with phone tag? If yes, you may be better off using this service (click here) than going through the steps below, but totally up to you! Feel free to experiment and find the right solution for your practice!

Many people have asked me how I source, hire, and retain such incredible support staff from the Philippines. So many people have asked that I’ve finally decided to just put it all down into a blog so you can find my “crash course” here anytime you want! You can find excellent receptionists, bookkeepers, personal assistants who can also do basic WordPress updates, general admins, and basically any other type of role you need. Not only is the price low, but I find the culture to be incredible. As an entrepreneur, I have an innate sense of pride and ownership of all the work that happens under my umbrella. I find that Filipinos are generally eager to share in that sense of dedication to working in a high quality, courteous, and reliable manner. Here are my to tips:

Where to find them? There are several websites where you can hire people from the Philippines. Personally, the one linked here is my favorite. I actually purchased the lifetime membership package from this site, which includes lifetime ability to post as many jobs as you want, as well as tons of MP3 files and written literature on how to have a successful experience with your virtual assistant. However, even if you don’t want to start off with that particular level, you can easily place a one-off ad for just a few dollars.

How to attract them? Show off! You may not realize this, but you’re probably a very desirable employer. Place an ad that indicates you’re seeking a full time, long term employee that you’re willing to train, groom, and respect. You may not think you want a full time employee, but I encourage you to consider it because the best Filipino employees tend to want full time; if you hire them part time they’ll probably look elsewhere while they work for you. So, place an ad with a subject line that conveys all this, like “New York City Entrepreneur Seeks Permanent Full Time Assistant” or “Busy USA Person Needs Permanent Support!”. If possible, be even more specific (“New York City Therapist Seeking Friendly and Capable Receptionist!” or “NYC Real Estate Agent Needs Reliable Exec Assistant!” In the body of the ad, reiterate that you’re seeking someone who will stay for years. When you indicate pay, describe a starting salary and indicate how it will rise over a two year period (ie “Pay starts at __ per month, and rises to __ per month over a two year period”). Also mention that they can accrue paid sick time and paid holidays. I have a chart that shows how this is accrued at my company over time; I show it to them during the interview process but I at least mention that they can accrue paid sick time and holidays in the body of my ad. Also mention that you pay the “13th month bonus”. This is the Philippine equivalent of a year-end bonus. It is equivalent to one month’s salary. (Don’t worry! It can be prorated, so that if you hire someone in September you only need to pay a bonus of ⅓ of a month’s salary at year-end.)

How to screen them? You will likely get hundreds of applicants. You’ll need an easy way to screen them. I suggest creating an ad that provides a lot of information about how to apply, and then disregard any applicant who doesn’t follow all of your directions. This is a great starting point to rule out anyone who is unable or unwilling to be detail-oriented. Here are some ideas:

a. In the body of the ad, indicate that you’ll need them to work Monday-Friday 9am-5pm EDT (or whatever your desired schedule is). Ask them to confirm in their application that they’re available for this schedule.

b. In the body of the ad, tell them to use a certain subject line when they apply (ie “FT Assistant for NYC Entrepreneur”).

c. If you’d like someone who can speak English clearly as well as write, indicate it in your ad. To screen for spoken English skills, do the following: In the body of the ad, ask that when they apply they include an MP3 of their own voice reading a sample sentence. This will let you easily screen for how they sound on the phone. Many applicants are great in every way but they just can’t speak English clearly. You don’t want to waste everyone’s time by arranging a Skype interview just to discover this. Listen to MP3s before attempting an interview.

d. Consider requiring applicants to take a short test as part of the application. I use a company linked here that me the percentile ranks for the person’s scores in Math, Verbal, and Spatial domains. It is an easy way to separate applicants. Someone’s verbal skills might seem fine on their application materials because they’ve spent lots of time on their application, and they might do fine in a 1:1 interview where the conversation is very structured, but how quickly can they keep pace with a ton of emails on a busy day? How carefully can they read and track complex conversations? I rely on their Verbal percentile to give me a ballpark. The company also has skills tests for things like bookkeeping and other specialized areas. I’ve known several entrepreneurs who have found it to be a good investment.

e. Ask them to also include a screenshot of their results from a place like Speedtest.net. You need someone who has a strong internet connection with a good speed.

f. Disregard any applicants who don’t follow all of your application directions.

g. Make an alias within your email account like jobs@(your domain) Set your filters so that anything coming to this address will skip your inbox and go into a folder for this (soon, your assistant can handle these types of tasks for you!). This will let you easily review applications on your own schedule without getting pinged every time someone applies.

Related: Money, Honey: How to Get a Good Biller

Interview the applicants who catch your eye and pass your basic starting measures. I use Skype for this. If they can’t show up on time to the Skype interview, I disqualify them. If the interview goes well, I ask them to email me a summary of what we discussed. This helps me check their ability to pay attention, as well as to recognize, retain and convey important points. I tell them at the start of the interview that I may be asking them to do this. I only do this if it’s important that the person has an ability to understand spoken English.

Once you’ve narrowed down to 2-3 really good applicants, tell them the truth: You’ve found 2-3 great applicants and you’re not sure which one to choose. Tell them you feel that part of a good Filipino hire involves not only skills and attitude, but also the ability to show up for work every day in a reliable manner. Many Filipinos live in areas where storms frequently disrupt their ability to be online by cutting off their internet or electricity. You don’t want to spend a week training someone only to find that they actually need to miss work about 2 of every 10 days due to issues like this. So whatever your monthly pay equates in hourly pay (for a 40 hour week, multiply your monthly pay by 12 and then divide the total by 2080 to determine this), tell them you’re taking that hourly pay and adding a dollar to it during this final selection period to show that you appreciate the chance they’re taking by focusing on you for 40 hours per week without a promise of permanent employment.

Give each person the same tasks during your trial period so you can see how they do in terms of speed, accuracy, attitude, and their ability to show up for work in a timely reliable manner. We have several long “busywork” test tasks that can be mundane, but offer good ways to check someone’s ability and willingness to follow directions carefully. If you are trying to select a receptionist, provide them all with the same scripts and then do a conference call where you review the scripts as a group. Record the call so you can have future applicants listen to it if for some reason none of your current applicants works out; or if you want to add an additional person. Next, do 1:1 calls to see who is really mastering the information best. Likewise, whatever tasks are most important for whatever role you’re seeking to fill, make sure you record as much of your training as possible so that it’s easily repeatable if needed in the future. Ask the candidates to type “step by step” directions of whatever you teach them so that you can simultaneously check their learning while also building your training library.

How to structure the actual day to day work? Once you choose an applicant, congratulate them and give them a warm welcome. Tell them that you know the first 30 days are the hardest, so you’ll give them a $100 training bonus when they complete their 30th day on the job, and a $250 Successful Hire Bonus at the 90 day mark. This helps them to stay motivated during what is typically the most stressful period. Tell them to send a daily report of all they did that day, and to indicate which task was the hardest or most time consuming. Also have them send an email of their workplan at the start of each day. I also have them send me a chat in Skype or g-chat at the start of each day, and I let them know that real time communication is essential so I expect an immediate response whenever I chat during working hours. I tell them that if they need to step away from their computer for a moment during the day to please chat me when they leave and when they return; so that I”m not staring at the chat window waiting for a reply if they happen to be away from their desk for a moment.

I also have a checklist of things I want them to do every day (ie check my business Facebook page for any new Likes to posts and invite the liker to Like my page). I make the checklist WAY too long for any one person to do every day; the idea is that I never want them asking me “what do I do now?” when I’m too busy to think of what would be helpful. Do yourself and your assistant a favor by making a long checklist and explaining that you don’t expect it to all be done every day; but that you just want them to have lots of ideas of what to do. Of course, you can highlight certain tasks that actually do need to be done every day. I use Google Sheets and list all the tasks in Column A, and then have the assistant put the date in row 1, and then mark in each cell which tasks were done. I have them indicate more than just an “X” to show it was done; I get specific info (ie “Indicate the number of new post Likers you invited to Like the FB page). Making it specific lets you see how their workflow is moving, and gives them a chance to be recognized for all the work they’re doing. Also have them add a tab to their checklist doc called “Logins”. Anytime they create a login, have them add it. Also have them list any logins there they may need from you. Also have them add a tab called “Docs” where they put links to any docs they are creating for you (ie powerpoint slides etc). This lets you easily keep track of all the “balls in the air” as things get busy.

Another handy tool I have found is Jing, which is an excellent free screencast tool to show what I need done in certain situations that fall outside of a “daily checklist”. Whenever I send a Jing, I always require the person responds with a summary of what my Jing said. This ensures we are “on the same page”, and it gives me a text-searchable way to find/view my original directions in my email if there’s ever a question about the project.

How to pay them? When I’m working with them in the trial period, I just use Paypal or something . Once I actually hire the person, I use this company. There are lots of companies; this one is the best I’ve found in terms of fees and reliability; also a lot of Filipino people are familiar with them so it builds trust. They may want to be paid daily during the trial period since many of them have been scammed by unscrupulous people; so be willing to do this while you’re building trust. Obviously, never pay in advance since you don’t want to be scammed either.

Conclusion

I hope you have found the tips here to be helpful. Just like when you do business with someone in the USA, be prepared that the relationship may not work out. There’s no magical panacea that fixes every issue; but these tips have been helpful for me as well as the myriad people who have asked me over the years. Feel free to let me know if you have other questions; I'm here to help!

#private practice #private therapy practice #private practice tips #management #business management

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ladystylestores · 4 years

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Good sci-fi speaks to the times, and Domain has done that twice in four years

youtube

The email hit my inbox in mid-May. The reader kept things succinct.

Subject: Remember Domain?

Body: I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately:

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2016/12/the-domain-review-the-internet-can-be-worse-than-humanity-ravaging-epidemics/

Two months into a global pandemic obviously sticking around for a bit, I can’t say I had put much thought into a sci-fi B-movie I saw once several years back. But upon mention, I did instantly and vaguely remember Domain. I caught a screener for Ars ahead of a small sci-fi-only film festival in December 2016, and the premise stuck with me more than the plot or any single performance. In this unabashedly indie film (read: high-concept, super specific, and low-budget aesthetic), a viral pandemic called the Saharan Flu keeps racking up a body count. “The World Health Organization says it’s potentially civilization-threatening,” public broadcasts declare within the film’s opening minutes after 5,000 deaths (only!) sweep across Germany, Egypt, and Italy.

Ho-hum, another pandemic film, you say. We have a million of those. In fact, not even writer/director Nathaniel Atcheson had been recently thinking about Domain in light of our current predicament (I called and asked in June). But what happens in-film after its fictional pandemic makes Domain disturbingly prescient four years later. The movie follows seven people from across the United States, but most of the action takes place in similar-looking bunkers because humanity has been forced to quarantine en masse. And in this alternate version of the present day, the government requires these groups to keep tabs on each other by communicating through ever-present video chat—it’s not Zoom, FaceTime, Google Meet, or Skype; it’s the titular Domain.

“It was probably two or three weeks into [the pandemic] before I realized and put the connection together myself,” Atcheson tells Ars. “I literally made a movie about this exact scenario: people are home for a very long time and all they have is this Web interface. The real-world logistics are a bit different—obviously we can go outside, we just aren’t supposed to. So maybe that kept me from making the connection sooner, but I’m sort of embarrassed how long it took for me to think of it. I have the poster on my wall in my living room/dining room, and I was sitting here eating and looking at the poster. ‘Oh my god.'”

Talk about a 2020 logline: “After a deadly virus wipes out most of humanity, the survivors are forced to wait in self-sustaining bunkers with a networked video interface for communication, but one by one, they start mysteriously disappearing.”

Denver trying to send some long-distance love to Phoenix using the Domain video chat.

Maybe Domain isn’t a perfect movie, but it is definitely an interesting movie.

Twitter

A lot of reviews from 2020 for a film from 2016…

Amazon Prime

IMDB

Like the anonymous Ars reader above, others who had seen the movie had been making the connection, though. Domain hit DVD and VOD back in 2018, and the film sat on Amazon Prime waiting in plain sight as all of us started having more living room time than we bargained for this spring. Atcheson has since noticed an uptick in user reviews saying as much. And when we revisited our review of the film this spring, phew, does it make you do a double take.

If deadly flu destroys the world and we’re all left together on Skype, it won’t end well…

As the film’s reliance on a social network plot point may indicate, Domain has something to say about the nature of our interactions through digital means. It’s a place that empowers consequence-free action for trolls like Orlando, a place that can feel so isolating that suicide seems viable, and a place where a real mystery can propagate endless fear-mongering theories…

Domain‘s fictitious president oversees a US that is ransacked by viral outbreak and choses to save everyone by only focusing on a select few. And within this new world, bullying and fear could run wild. As with any good sci-fi, there’s probably a lesson somewhere.

Of course, when Atcheson was writing Domain sometime before 2015, he had no intention of predicting or speaking to life in 2020 (or to the very unexpected changes in the fall of 2016 when Domain debuted, for that matter). Without spoiling anything, neither viral pandemics nor the horrors of always-online life actually inspired Atcheson to sit down and write Domain. Instead, a separate subject still on the public’s mind did: the criminal justice system. Domain turns out to be a twist movie, a concept Atcheson has a love/hate relationship with. It can make a film more complex and interesting, but “they’re usually so often just a ‘Gotcha!'” he says. “They don’t always have thematic relevance, so I wanted this one to make you go back and think about everything else you saw.”

Making an indie film he knew would struggle to get footing since it didn’t feature a star, Atcheson ultimately kept Domain at a tight ~90 minutes to maximize his chance for finding an audience and earning festival showings. As such, the twist may not be as fully explored as some viewers would like. But the filmmaker told Ars he actually had a sequel in mind if the opportunity came about, and that story would lean much more into the ideas in Domain‘s final act. And if Atcheson had the opportunity to remake things (or to turn Domain into a series on Netflix or Quibi or whatever), those ideas would be emphasized faster and further.

“The virus stuff is interesting, but pandemics have happened. People have made movies about people waiting in isolation from viruses or viruses ravaging the world. For the original concept, I was inspired by this novel Station Eleven, which is about to be adapted into a TV series,” Atcheson says. “The concept is: everyone loves a good viral thriller. And for me, I wanted to set that apart from the crowd by having this other thematic thrust, which is this one-two punch of the virus and then [what happens in the end, #NoSpoilers]. Today’s Black Lives Matter and justice-reform protests have strangely made the movie more relevant than I could’ve ever expected. I never wanted it to have a happy ending, because that didn’t feel appropriate for the story. I couldn’t see a way for it to resolve into something positive for these characters.”

Given the odd state of cinema in 2020, revisiting small, possibly overlooked titles from recent years has become one of the few, reliable ways to see new (or at least new-to-you) films. And revisiting Domain, which is still available on VOD and Amazon Prime, actually took my mind to a few other recent smaller films. The stylish and claustrophobic High Life, Claire Denis’ space flick with Robert Pattinson, shares a similar high aesthetic and vibe (“I actually watched that at the beginning of quarantine,” Atcheson says. “I was definitely going for a similar thing, at least with the art direction, though obviously I’m not Claire Denis. I thought it was great”).

But Domain makes me think most about another Amazon Prime flick—The Vast of Night. These two films share an approach to storytelling: take a known archetype (pandemics and aliens), apply your vision and voice, and give audiences just enough to think about without offering an explicit message, thus allowing viewers to draw their own conclusions.

When Ars spoke to Vast of Night filmmaker Andrew Patterson last fall, he believed that should be the goal of both good sci-fi and of good films in general. They have captivating central stories and timeless-enough ideas and themes for different generations or time periods to see their reality within. “Good films will be about something else depending on the era they’re watched in. They can kind of meander through time,” Patterson said, citing a Lawrence of Arabia rewatch that brought the film’s LGBTQ undertones to his attention. “So I hope we made a movie that in 40 years is about the definition of a family or in 30 years is about something else.”

It’s only been four years for Domain, but already the film has lived through and resonated within two potentially historic and distinct times in US (if not world) history. Not bad at all for a young filmmaker’s little sci-fi B-movie.

Listing image by Fons PR / Other Worlds Austin

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lockwisetips · 4 years

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Is Online Dating Safe? Everything You Need To Know Before Swiping Right

These days it seems like everyone’s finding love online. Or if they’re not finding it, they’re a part of the 40% of Americans using online dating apps to build a potential relationship. But is online dating safe, and a reliable means for making a lifelong connection? The latter may be difficult to prove, but we’re here to answer the big questions you have about how to date online safely. Understanding and practicing these tips will make online dating safer. It will also help protect your security as you start searching for a digital connection with the right person.

How to Date Online Without Putting Yourself in Danger

The root problem to online dating is that you never know who’s at the other end of the screen. Yes, it just might be the love of your life but it could also be an identity thief or professional scammer. Here are a few ways you can securely search for the right person:

Plan it Out

Readers wondering how to date online without putting themselves in danger should first take some time to plan out their dating site profile. Evaluate who you are as a person and how you can portray this online without oversharing. Remember that you’re preparing to reveal this information with complete strangers. This means they probably shouldn’t know that you like to get breakfast at the Denny’s on Main Street every Saturday at 10:00 a.m. Personal details like your birthday or office address should also remain private. Wait until after you’ve made a meaningful connection with this person, had a chat on the phone and maybe even met in person before sharing those types of details.

Find the Right Picture

Next up, you need to pick the right picture for your profile. While we’re not here to tell you whether that selfie with the good lighting will get you more prospects, we will suggest you avoid using any photos that reveal too much information. This includes pictures that make it too obvious where someone can find you, such as those taken around your neighborhood.

The Big No No’s

Finally, to safely date online you should:

Steer clear of including your phone number or address anywhere in your profile. If you want to talk to your matches on the phone before meeting in person, use a Google voice number instead.

Another tip is to keep your primary email separate from your dating app profile. Instead, link your dating profile with a secondary email address. Doing this will not only keep your primary email address’s inbox from overflowing but also gives you an extra layer or privacy.

Next, keep your whereabouts private by turning off location-based matching systems. While this feature can be useful for finding dates in your local area, it can easily backfire by letting users know exactly where you’re at. Or where you’re not, such as if you’re out of the house and they decide your absence is the perfect opportunity to break into your home.

How to Online Date: What Should I Be Doing and Sharing?

Say you’ve been using an online dating site for a couple weeks and you’ve made a connection. Congratulations! But before believing you’ve mastered how to online date, there’s still important steps you need to take for your safety. Here are a few easy ways you can ensure your potential match is who they really say they are.

Video Chat Before Meeting

What better way to break the ice and get an idea of who your match is before the big in-person date than by speaking with them face-to-face beforehand? Set up a quick video chat date on your favorite platforms like FaceTime, Google Hangouts or Skype.

Talk on the Phone Before First Date

Similar to video chat, talking on the phone before the in-person date is a great ice breaker. It’s also another great way to get to know the person you’ve been messaging online. Lastly, speaking to them on the phone can help you screen for red flags you might not be able to catch through messaging on dating apps.

Google the Person

When you’re online dating, it’s okay to do some research on the person you’re swiping right on. Doing a quick Google search will help you learn if the person you’re connecting with on the dating app actually exists. A little studying up will also provide you with useful details that can help you better understand if this potential match is right for you.

Share the News

Before going on your date, let some close friends or family members in on the loop. Make sure they know the basics, like who you’re date is, where you’re going, what time you’re meeting and when you plan to return home. That way if something goes wrong and you’re not back on time, they’ll know to take action.

Meet in a Public Place

Having other people around on your date will not only relieve the stress of spending time with a new person but can also keep you out of harm’s way. This means the crowded new bistro up the street that you swore off might just be the right place for a first date. At least if something were to go wrong, there are people around that can quickly step in.

What is the Best Online Dating Site for Me?

Not all dating sites are created equal. Depending on your age, interests or values you might have a greater chance of finding love on one dating site than another. When trying to decide what the best online dating site is for me, you should put some of the following factors into consideration.

What’s My Age Again?

Your age can play a deciding factor on which dating application you’ll have the most luck with. Some sources suggest young adults will typically enjoy Tinder, Facebook Dating or OkCupid more than the older crowd. Others believe adults of a more mature age can find more potential matches on sites like eharmony, where many users are looking for a strong connection that can transition into something long-lasting.

However, the only person who knows which dating app you’ll enjoy the most is yourself. So research these sites, evaluate success stories and review the studies showing the age bracket most likely to be online. The site that meets most of your needs is the site you should be using.

What Do I Like?

Depending on your level of comfort, some dating sites simply won’t work for you. For example, women who are ready to make the first move will enjoy Bumble’s progressive platform. Meanwhile, men who just aren’t comfortable with a woman asking them on a date should avoid using Bumble. Similarly, a woman who hates cats shouldn’t waste her energy trying to build a lasting connection on a site made for cat lovers searching for love.

Understanding your interests and preferences will help guide you toward a platform with a pool of like-minded users, therefore increasing your odds of finding prospects.

How Much Are You Willing to Spend?

Unfortunately, quite a few online dating services require you to spend a little money to have a chance at love. eharmony, Match.com, Zoosk and more have subscription programs that can cost up to $55 a month. The upside to paying is the features you have access to once you start subscribing. This includes the ability to actually message your connections, seek lessons from a dating coach and have your profile highlighted across the site for a greater chance of reaching more connections. So, how much are you willing to spend on love?

Now That You Know How to Date Online

Online dating is an exciting phenomenon that has made it possible for people around the world to find and make a connection with others. When you use dating applications with caution by exercising the steps above, you’ll make the whole process run smoother. Now get out there and start putting together that epic bio for your profile.

The post Is Online Dating Safe? Everything You Need To Know Before Swiping Right appeared first on Protect America Blog.

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eraifttt2 · 4 years

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Is Online Dating Safe? Everything You Need To Know Before Swiping Right

How to Date Online Without Putting Yourself in Danger

Plan it Out

Find the Right Picture

The Big No No’s

Finally, to safely date online you should:

Steer clear of including your phone number or address anywhere in your profile. If you want to talk to your matches on the phone before meeting in person, use a Google voice number instead.

How to Online Date: What Should I Be Doing and Sharing?

Video Chat Before Meeting

Talk on the Phone Before First Date

Google the Person

Share the News

Meet in a Public Place

What is the Best Online Dating Site for Me?

What’s My Age Again?

What Do I Like?

Understanding your interests and preferences will help guide you toward a platform with a pool of like-minded users, therefore increasing your odds of finding prospects.

How Much Are You Willing to Spend?

Now That You Know How to Date Online

The post Is Online Dating Safe? Everything You Need To Know Before Swiping Right appeared first on Protect America Blog.

Aricle source here: Is Online Dating Safe? Everything You Need To Know Before Swiping Right

#Protect America Blog

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brandyfields66-blog · 6 years

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How to Motivate Yourself to Go to the Gym on Cold, Dark Days

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I love to work out, and as a senior editor at Health, it's a big part of my job. But I'm the first to admit that exercising when days turn cold and dark can suck. It's pitch black when my alarm goes off for a before-work workout, and it's dark again by 4 p.m. Plus, living in New York City means snowy, wind-chilled treks to the subway to get to my fitness locales.

But one thing I know very well about myself is that my mood sinks drastically in fall and winter. Exercise is in part an antidote to my winter blues. Because of that, I've found little tricks that help me stay consistent-and in turn happier and with more pep in my step overall-through the cold-weather months. Read on for the fall and winter workout motivation hacks that work for me . . . that might just work for you too.

RELATED: 7 Emily Skye Workout Videos We're Obsessed With

Wake up to light and music

If I'm working out in the morning before work, the toughest part for me is physically getting out of bed. Once I'm up and standing, I'm set. So when my alarm goes off, I immediately switch on my bedside lamp and stream my Spotify workout playlist from my phone. Even if I lie in bed for a few minutes longer, the gentle light and good tunes keep me alert enough so that I won't doze off again and ditch.

Or treat yourself to an early holiday present and invest in Sonos wireless speakers ($141; amazon.com). The Sonos mobile app allows you to set alarms so you can wake up to your pump-up playlist-a tip I learned from Ashley Wilking, an instructor at Rumble Boxing in New York City and a Nike trainer.

"I love choosing my songs based on what my day looks like," Wilking tells Health. "If I need to wake up at 4 a.m. to teach class, I like something to pump me up-I'll go for a rap or hip-hop mix. If I'm getting up to start my day but want to keep a mellow vibe, I'll go for the Coffee House Chill or Indie Acoustics playlists on Spotify."

Warm up on the way to the gym

If you're like me and can't (or just don't like to) work out at home, you have to find a way to make the chilly gym commute more manageable. If weather permits and it's safe to do so, try using the journey as a warm-up opportunity. "I always ride my Citi Bike to class in the morning," Wilking says. "It gets you moving before you have to move in your workout."

Wet or icy roads preventing you from jogging or biking your way there? Distract yourself with good music or a podcast. "I put on an audio book-my current listen is You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero-and take Mia, our mini Australian shepherd, for a walk along the water," Wilking says.

Follow a fitness influencer

Like many humans, I wake up and scroll social media for a bit before getting out of bed, which helped me discover the Insta-story of Joelle Cavagnaro, a personal trainer and high school health and physical education teacher in the New York City area.

Cavagnaro is awake at 5 a.m. every morning and chronicles her dark walk to the gym, her workout, and her (still dark) hike home. She provides hilarious commentary and super motivational words of advice. Watching Cavagnaro's efforts every single day makes me think, if she's out there getting it done before the sun is up, I can do the same.

"Knowing that I have people following my journey, my workouts, my routine, helps me to stay on track, just as much as it helps them," she tells Health.

RELATED: It's Better to Work Out With Other People Than by Yourself. Here's Why

Become a regular

For many months now, I've been hooked on a particular fitness studio-Switch Playground-and I've been more consistent than ever with my workouts. I'll get there rain (or cold, or wind) or shine.

To start, I love the actual workout-and that is key when it comes to making a fitness habit stick, especially during the toughest time of year to do it. ("It's pretty hard to stick to a workout plan you hate," Cavagnaro points out. "If you hate the treadmill, don't go on the treadmill.")

But another major part of what gets my butt to class is that I've become close with many of the instructors. I'll drop them a message, like, "I'm coming to the 7:15; I'm exhausted so I need a good push tonight!" Giving them that heads-up that I'm attending holds me accountable; and having a dialogue with the folks there makes the actual working out part less of a chore and more like a visit with friends.

So if you love a particular class, make it a point to say hi to the instructor and share your fitness goals. That way, you're expected to show up each week to meet them. Prefer to sweat by yourself at the gym? Introduce yourself to trainers and other gym regulars around the floor; chat with the guys and girls at the front desk. (Cavagnaro gets a "Sup, Big J?" from other early-bird exercisers at her gym.) The camaraderie will inspire you-as will a "Where have you been?!" if you disappear for too long.

RELATED: Winter Skin Annoyances, Solved

Find (reliable) workout buddies

"Committing to a workout with a friend is a great way to make sure you get yourself out the door, as no one likes to let their friends down," Oliver Lee, a personal trainer in New York City and a former Barry's Bootcamp instructor (and one of my workout buds who I can always count on), tells Health.

Even if you don't like working out with a partner, you can benefit from the support of like-minded friends and family, Cavagnaro says. "I work out alone, and that works best for me," she explains. "But my husband and I are both passionate about the gym. We go to the gym together on weekends, separate for our workouts, and then meet up again after to walk home together."

I also often times reach out to people with little gym "check-ins." My mom and I, for example, cheer each other on via text, and we do this more often when the weather gets gross:

Commit to an early bedtime

As tempting as it is to stay up to watch one more episode of Stranger Things, powering down electronics and hitting the sheets at a reasonable hour is critical if you're going to beat winter tiredness and make it to the gym. This is the right time of the year to turn in on the early side, when darkness and chilly temperatures make curling up under the covers so ideal.

"I can't stress this enough to my clients, my students, or anyone else trying to have a productive day," Cavagnaro says. "I could never do what I do without adequate rest and recovery time. I know my body and I know that I need at least eight hours of sleep to be a functional, productive member of society-and to have energy for my morning workout."

Cavagnaro also suggests thinking of an a.m. workout as the ticket to an energized day, rather than something you need to find energy for. "My workout itself is like my morning coffee," she says. "It starts my day, gives me the energy to get going, and sets up my day for productivity and success."

RELATED: 11 Warm Recipes for Cold Weather

Schedule workouts strategically

Sweating it out after work? Don't leave yourself time to stop off at home first . . . and get sidelined by something great on TV or your never-ending social feed. "I tend to plan my workouts around times that I will be out of the house already, either on my way to a meeting or on my way home," Lee explains. "That way, I'm already outside."

Cavagnaro agrees: If she does have to hit the gym after school instead of at her typical 5 a.m. session, she brings all of her gear with her and goes straight from the classroom. "The motivation to go definitely dwindles down if you stop home, have a snack, have to change," she says. "I find that going right from work to the gym, alleviates those 'should I really go?' thoughts."

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Talk yourself out of your excuses

There are still times I find myself in the comfort of my warm apartment coming up with every excuse in the book to avoid bundling up and mobilizing. When it happens, I like to remind myself of this: In the amount of time you will spend sitting around making excuses, you could be half way through a workout by now. (Slightly cheesy? Yes. But it works for me.)

I also ask myself what I would do in that time when I could be getting in a workout. Would I do a load of laundry? Would I meal prep for the next few days? Would I watch Sex and the City reruns? If I'm exhausted and know I'll use the time to do something else productive, I cut myself some slack. But if my gut tells me I'll waste the hour being lazy, I'll get my butt off the couch and do something to crank my heart rate, even if that means walking on an incline on the treadmill for 15 minutes.

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