the day is coming...

“Durchbruch” (Breakthrough) (Growth pt. 1) (2016)

I wrote this one while listening to a hell of a lot of Max Coopers old “Traum Series” stuff, which dictates the mood of whats going on a lot. The main idea of it, which i wont spoil, is from a song called “Plastic Plant” by Thee Oh Sees, which at some point mutated to something completely different from the actual song, but anyways - this is the first bit of three from a story called “Wachstum” (Growth) about a lonely mad scientist that wants to hold infinity in his hands but doesnt actually know what it means or what hes really doing, since hes just a limited human like us, sadly. If that sounds pretentious to you, you might be right, but i still had fun writing this. Maybe you’ll enjoy it anyways.

Click this thing to get to the story:

I never imagined that my whole life would once find its whole fulfillment in one single moment. I always thought it was impossible that after so many years of arduous labour everything would just click. Just fit together. A moment of unbelievable clarity. It was infinintely small, and yet this one moment encompassed all I worked for in all those years. In my tiny laboratory something just came to existence that will not leave anything in its place once I unleash it upon this world. Now I could finally experience this moment, even if it was just a split second. How many people know what this feels like? I can even barely describe it myself... But before I was able to fully relish it, it already flew by. The only thing still left is my sweet memory. This feeling will probably never come back, but at least i was able to welcome it for a short while. I closed my eyes and leaned back. Slowly, the realization of everything that just happened swept through my body. All the years of work were not going to be in vain. And the result of all this is right there in front of my on my laboratory table, emitting light and rumbling about while it functions. In the midst of heaps of sketches, post-its and discarded ideas it just layed there. And it was working. A small, round materialization of my childhood dreams. I put my instruments to one side and put it in my hands. I raised it, careful to not shatter all the intricate structures that I incorporated in it. How would I even explain this to the rest of the world? What was in my own hands was not just a silly invention of my younger days that people know me for. I have bult something that would change the course of humanity forever. This little capsule I was admiring would go down in history. I am holding infinity in my hands. But as i made a rough estimate of all the possibilities i just opened up, my senses overtook me and dragged me right back into reality - this is no time for dreaming.

The somewhat stupid looking grin of my former mentor and friend Thomas pushed itself into my field of view. You could see that he was excited in a way that a preschooler is excited when he gets handed his favourite ice-cream by his parents. "You finally did it, Alex! You were right all along, man!" He kept beaming at me. "Hey, why dont you put a smile on that face? Is this not what you wanted all along, are you not happy?" While i was wondering how he even got into my laboratory in the first place, Thomas gave me a pat on the shoulder. "Well then, we have to celebrate this, dont we? You earned it, buddy."

Thomas was one of those people without which I would not have made it here, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I met him when he was still my teacher in physics classes. Back then he always thought I was a dreamer. In basically every single class he had to tell me to stop daydreaming and finally pay attention, otherwise I would fail. But after I wrote my second A+, he told me to go talk to him after one of the lessons, and I decided to tell him about everything that was going through my head in those days of school. At that time I already began forming this dream that would one day bring me to this day. Initially, he treated me like some crazy teenager with some delusional hallucinations, but after every physics lesson, I came to him with my ideas and sketches, until he finally gave in and accepted that he didnt even know what exactly I was showing to him. One thing followed another, and he gave me a possibility to make my dreams a reality. He knew that he could only stand there and admire it. Meanwhile, I am 20 years old and Thomas is seeing his last years as a teacher.

I forced a smile and tried to look as natural as I could. "Thanks for the offer, but honestly I am just really tired. I... I just need a while." With a slightly disappointed smile Thomas just replied with a sigh and a resigned attitude. "Sure, if you dont want to, I am not forcing you to do anything. I know you too well. But think for a second, will you? For seven years you are trapped in your own four walls to chase after your wild dreams. You gave everything up just to be able to work even more. And now you did it, don't you understand? The result is right there! It exists!" He gestured towards the round capsule in my hand. "And now you still want to remain here? You finally have a chance to prove yourself out there, damn it! As long as your invention just lies there on your table, nothing will happen."

It was like this every time I found a breakthrough. Every single time Thomas would try to distract me from my work and convince me to go out into the public. But this time, he was right. For seven whole years I was living here in my laboratory, shielded from the outside. The only contacts i still have are the five helpers that Thomas organized, which became my best friends. If I'm not still stuck in my lab in the evening, working on my plan, I spend time with them, talk about technological advances or play billiard. The rest of the time I just sit in front of my little machine and refine some details or test the new prototype. Until it finally started working today. If not for Thomas, I would die of starvation with my face against the desk. Of course I was thankful. Because of Thomas, I was able to not worry about anything but the next step of my invention.

"Oh come on dude, now you are staring holes into the air again. You look like someone stepped on your face. Stop that.", continued Thomas. "Tomorrow morning, once you have slept all you want to, we are going to get you in top condition, and you are going to show the world what you made. Don't you remember what you told me when you started the project?" He started at me like I was suffering from alzheimers.

Of course I remembered. I wanted to build the ultimate energy source. Something that would solve the ancient problem of humanity to not have enough power for anything. And not just postpone the problem, but finally put an end to it. The little capsule lying in front of my on my table and producing electricity would push the development of technology into a direction it's never seen before. Besides me, of course. For eternity, we struggle to find out what the universe really is: Little advances into the inner workings of nature have always given us a bit of enlightment, made possible by ingenuity and brute force combined. Like the discovery of the higgs boson. The only thing we still need to make our ideas real is pure energy. And now it is time. We will never again have to worry about not having enough of everything. Just having the right amount of resources to keep us going.

Again, all the infinite possibilities of what my little machine means flowed through my head. We are going to build all the things we wanted to make for centuries. We are going to create all that which we thought was impossible. With this little energy capsule, we can dare to advance into territories that we always thought were not meant for us. From now on, nothing stops us. It's like I broke down a dam to give way for a flood. And all thanks to the little wonder in my laboratory.

I shifted my view back to the little capsule on my desk. I will call it Vision Generator. Then I turned back and looked at Thomas. I did not even know what to say. Single tears suddenly appeared on my face. For the first time in all these years, a tremendous feeling of fatigue set in. Thomas put his wide grin back on. "Well, I see you need some time to process all of this. We'll see each other tomorrow. I won't tell anyone, don't worry." And with those words, Thomas disappeared out of my laboratory and concentrated on his own plans. He shut the door. Finally, silence.

Tomorrow is going to be the time to tell the world about what I have created, and what is now possible. I stared at the sphere again. in the span of 7 years i created a tiny microcosm, with every single detail tailored and thought through with love.

I stood up. I would try to put my achievement into words tomorrow, now I just needed some sleep. I put my hands on my desk and slowly stood up to head for the laboratory door in the dark. Once it automatically opened, my room filled itself with the chilly light of the hallway lamps. To the left the hallway had a glass wall with a door leading to the meeting room of my assistants, and straight ahead was my bedroom. The three most important rooms of my last few years. To the right was a door that led outside, but only Thomas really made use of that one. While I staggered towards my room, a strange, unfamiliar sound echoed through the corridor. I looked to my left, a bit bewildered. Behind the glass wall were four of my assistants, assembled on a couch, and all of them were concentrating on the TV in front of them. It was showing the news. When was the last time I saw the news? Maybe five years ago? Or six? I could not even remember that there was a television in the meeting room. None of my assistants seemed to notice me in that moment. What could be so important?

I rubbed my eyes and looked closer. The broadcast was showing a hysteric reporter, flailing her arms and shouting something to her audience. The video was unsteady and behind her, the background was constantly in motion. I tried to distinguish what exactly was happening, but it was all blurry and vague. While the reporter tried to convey what was going on, there was a line running across the bottom of the screen. "Possibly mutated plants broke out of local New York homes and are spreading at incredible speeds." Am I seeing this right? My lack of sleep might cause severe hallucinations at this point. I tried to listen in to what the reporter is shouting, but her voice was clashing against the screams of civilians, the roaring traffic and some indescribable, rustling sounds. My assistents kept staring at the screen, mesmerised and fascinated. Another small bit of news hurried across the bottom of the screen. "First dead and injured citizen founds as a result of the plant catastrophy in New York." What now? Dead and injured citizens? How does that tie into all of this? Tomorrow I would try to explain to myself what on earth is happening outside. In all the time of isolation I probably either lost my mind or severely lost track of the outside world. The revelation of my machine would have to wait. My assistents also probably knew more. But in any case, I really ought to get some sleep.

I shuffled to my bedroom and went inside. When I finally sank towards my bed, what followed was probably the most cathartic and purifying sleep that I ever had. Yet when I opened my eyes the next morning to look forward to a new day of work, my whole body suddenly felt really stiff. I could barely move. I tried to switch the light on to have clearer sight, but something held me. Something didnt let me stand up. I slowly raised my head to see what was there. And when I saw what kept me tied to my bed, terror bolted through me. A huge amount of tendrils,  leaves and roots covered my whole body and had me in their firm, but gentle grasp. It was brimming with small and big twigs, blossoms, and all sorts of plants of all shapes and sizes. I had the terrible desire to scream, but for some reason it was not an adequate reaction. So I just stared. With my mouth wide open. As soon as I looked closer, I could see that it was all still growing. And not just my bed was taken by green, it was my whole room. Memories of the news broadcast from yesterday shot through my head. What in hell is happening to the outside world? But before I could get a clear thought, I felt something slowly growing at the back of my head. One of the countless tiny plants was making its way around my head. After a short time, my whole head was gripped by the thing, and after it was done, I had no room left to move it. And as soon as it reached my forehead, I was left with the feeling of nothing at all.