really the more I think about it the more amazed I am that it took me awhile to consider Jesse not yet knowing she's trans after first watching Breaking Bad because it's like...

while I at least always saw him as having a complicated relationship with masculinity (and like if anyone misses that they don't have a full understanding of his character tbh) and was "inexplicably effeminate", now it's so painfully clear that manhood is something that constantly hurts him throughout the story and at BEST is something he feels obligated to preform but honestly is better described as like... a chain, a trap, he might even describe it as a curse. and it's something she becomes clearly less and less compatible with as the story goes on. then w/ her positive associations with aspects of femininity and overall with women in general just... egg Jesse just feels so obvious now how did I ever miss it, especially when it requires no changes to or doesn't raise any questions in canon and Jesse's relationships with gender roles, while not intended to be read as her being an egg, were still 100% written on purpose

wait hi i’m so confused i thought only lesbians can reclaim d*ke and only gay men can reclaim faggot? so how can you use both esp if you’re masc? IM CONFUSED IM SORRY this isn’t a hate anon or some shit i’m just so behind on the fuckin. ‘rules’ of tumblr and what the general consensus on slurs are i barely know what i can reclaim my damn self

hi you're all good! and honestly that's part of why I made the post and why the modern lgbt community frustrates me so much bc there is a huge prioritization of "rules" over community, solidarity, lived experience, and just. loving each other. not a diss at you obvs just that it makes us all so nervous about what we can and cannot reclaim and makes others really hostile about it

anyway!

several different answers...

by current lgbt tumblr/tiktok/twitter "rules" a lot of ppl have expanded those to include wlw and mlm, not just gay men and lesbians. I mean say two women are walking down the street holding hands, someone that would call them dykes isn't going to pause and ask if one or more of them is bisexual before using it. as I'm both a wlw and a mlm I'd fit into both. however I don't really jive w this explanation bc it hinges again on "rules" of conduct that I find reductive

another one I've seen that I find a little more nuanced is that if you have had slurs thrown at you and used against you, you can reclaim them. I've been called a dyke and a faggot more times than I can count. but again, I don't jive with this one as much bc does that mean a gay man fortunate enough to never get called a faggot cannot say that word?

the one I find to be the most resonating To Me- for decades and decades of the queer movement, queer women have been saying faggot and queer men have been saying dyke. it's only like really extremely relatively recently that it has been made taboo/wrong/crucifiable for the other group to say it. but if you look it up, there's a lot of early pictures and even well into the 90s pics of men holding up signs along the lines of faggots supporting dykes. and vice versa. this fear of saying these words in our community v much comes from the critically online crowd who doesn't actually go out and interact with their community (not saying you or everyone obviously just the people that push this shit really hard). they would rather squabble over words and slurs and labels than actually doing anything worthwhile.

and just on a personal note, like I said, I'm both a "wlw" and "mlm" although I find those words a little hallow. masculinity =/= sexuality and while I may be butch, that doesn't equate to manhood. even if it did, that's not entirely precluding me from finding community with others I relate to. but I grew up experiencing love for other women as a queer woman. I still do, even though I'm transmasc and use he/him pronouns in every day life (not on here and it's not misgendering to call me she or they, but for my safety I don't advertise any of that irl) but I don't mind being seen as a queer woman, that's deeply a part of how I learned to love in this world. and it got me called dyke. a lot. both when I was identifying as a lesbian, and when I wasn't. on the flipside, however, I am transmasc and butch. I present to the world with a masculine name and most strangers call me "sir" and use he/him for me. my boyfriend is a gay trans man (loosely, they also identify as nonbinary and his relationship to gayness is complicated but that's not my post to make). we are both on hrt and he's had top surgery. when we go out in the world together as a couple, most people see two gay men. we've been called faggots over it (shoutout to the bartender in Detroit for that one). is my experience materially any different than that of a 100% binary trans man getting called a faggot? is the way I present precluding me from being able to say I identify as a queer woman (and man) that loves women in a very queer way? if you look at me, a masculine individual with a beard that gets called a man by strangers and you say I cannot be a woman, what does that say about trans women? if you look at me and say the way that I present to the world doesn't count and doesn't matter, and the way me and my boyfriend conceptualize our relationship isn't right, why is that your business? again, not personal you but general You.

tldr gender is super fucking complicated and messy and so is sexuality and boiling it down to who can say what slurs is honestly really detrimental to our community and all of this is kind of The Point of my post.... and that is not an attack on you at all you're very lovely and I appreciate the message and how sincere it is! and you do not have to agree with me in fact I suspect many people won't. but that's okay. at the end of the day, this community isn't about agreeing with everyone. it's about protecting ourselves and our siblings from harm and loving each other.