#as a reminder to myself how unlike superior (fictional) khai my very own irl-khai did NOT go through character development | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

airenyah · 1 year

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so i just set bad buddy on mydramalist from 9.5 to 10 stars and with that bad buddy is now above theory of love

this is relevant because up until now theory of love was the only drama with a 10/10 rating on my completed-list. and i couldn't get myself to put bad buddy at 10/10 since due to the alphabetical order theory of love would have gotten pushed down to no. 2

but now i finally could

i think it's safe to say that i'm finally. truly. well over my very own personal irl-khai

#it took me 2.5 years but here i am!!!!#during christmas break i saw my irl-khai at youth group for a bit #(he was about to leave just as i arrived)#there was a girl with him #i think it was his girlfriend (at least that's what i assumed idk i didn't talk to them)#anyway it didn't hurt!!!! it didn't make me feel like shit!!!! i was okay!!!!#so far i never wanted to see (or even hear about) his girlfriend and then i ran into them completely unprepared for this situation. and i #i was. completely fine????????#and look at me now. putting bbs above tol #growth indeed. growth indeed.#i don't wanna brag but. i'm fucking proud of myself #airenyah plappert #bbs #tol #no but tol will forever have a very special place in my heart as THE most cathartic things i've ever watched (up until now)#it was like looking into a mirror and it played a big part in how i reflected on my situation and how i dealt with it #i would watch tol over and over again whenever i needed a reminder not to get close to my irl-khai again after i took a step back #as a reminder to myself how unlike superior (fictional) khai my very own irl-khai did NOT go through character development #and i don't mean i ever needed him to realize any hidden romantic feelings for me #i'd be happy enough if he at least realized how he hurt me back then. how his behaviour caused me a lot of pain #i've tried to explain it to him on multiple occasions but he just. doesn't get it. and he's surely never reflected on anything i've said #anyway he's mostly out of my life now and it's better that way #we're back to where we were almost a decade ago: talking only when we happen to be at youth group on the same day #i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine and i am sooo so happy about this and now bbs is above tol on my watch list even can you believe

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