Tumgik
#anyway what a weird weekend. yesterday i was all... its not mania idk what to call it. i was being crazy and my brain was going too fast
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#um so i just got some mildly life altering news#and bc i dont talk to ppl irl i come to yall to gossip bc i dont think id be allowed to talk to ppl here abt this anyway#so my boss got a job offer from another school and shes gonna take it starting in January#shes gonna take it bc the school we're at now fucking blows and does not treat her or anyone especially well#our fucking building is so fucked and its not Even that old#the autoclave is constantly broken and like thats vitally important for like 3 labs and the heating is fucked#if the lights go out stuff gets fucked up. the air is constantly not working#its all fucked and i dont blame her for leaving. i would too#but my plan was to be in a phd by next fall. so where does that leave me?#my options are to go with her to this school in a city that i profoundly dont wanna live in and roll thst into a phd with one of the#astrobiology ppl there. when they're stuff really isnt of interest to me#or i could stay here for the spring and talk to her over zoom and finish up our projects and then the money runs out at the start of summer#so ill probably do the latter bc i wanna get outta the fucking desert and i literally just renued a lease until april#but yeah. that kinda wild. now ive really gotta get serious abt finding a program bc the end has a hard deadline now#and i dont wanna end up living at home with my parents like my loser sister. no judgment on moving back in with parents#she was just real mean to us growing up so i passively resent her for it#anyway what a weird weekend. yesterday i was all... its not mania idk what to call it. i was being crazy and my brain was going too fast#and ive not been sleeping well so i woke up feeling real real bad#like the kinda tired where everything is kinda spinning and unreal#then i had to go talk to this guy in the lab abt coding stuff in the lab for like 2hrs and it was way over my head#and then i got this news. so now im laying on the floor#hhhh well maybe this is a good thing. maybe its the push i need to stop being so fucking depressed and actually focus#i only have to keep doing this shit until next summer. i can keep it together until then#unless these last projects destroy me like they have every other time ive done the same thing sigh...#ugh shut up! focus. find a school. find a program. get the fuck outta the desert#unrelated#also apparently im the 1st to know abt this info bc it literally just happened so yeah i dont think im allowed to talk abt it
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