Tumgik
#anyway sorry i freaked out the bpd kinda possessed me this afternoon
Note
hey, kat. it is that anon.
i just came here to apologize for just ....yeah....how that all went down. i wrote that message in haste. i'm abc so when i saw your post my first thought was "wow kinda not cool of them to say that" but then i thought about how i would've posted the same thing if my relatives were fatshaming me. i agree with you that--especially in a predominantly white society--that we have every right to speak to our identities and cultures, including their unrealistic beauty standards.
i looked through your about-mes and couldn't find any mention of your identity, not that you have to disclose that tho. at the time, i tried to think "how can i tell this person that what they said is not ok if they are not-chinese, but that they have every right to (and i can relate) if they are?" and obviously i did a poor job conveying that. i was weighing the possibility that you were white and saying something racist against the possibility that you were also chinese and you had the right to say that.
didn't want to come off anon because we're moots who just haven't really talked much and i don't want to get off on the wrong foot because i was hoping to become friends eventually. i'm not sure if i can salvage things, so if you want me to just unfollow that's fine.
once again very sorry for my miscommunications. like i said, i was feeling kinda fiery as i thought about the possibility of that post coming from a white person. i hope my apology can bring you some peace. wholeheartedly, i hope you are okay and im sorry once again.
(editing bc I was too stoned to see the part about you being abc alskdkfjfg)
honestly, i think the main thing was that this could have been avoided if you had dm'd me. i'm a *tad* less agitated about it now because i've had time to process and took some anxiety meds.
and thank you for taking the time to clarify. i appreciate it. and again, i get it. you were trying to watch out for a marginalized group. communicating through text is difficult.
tldr;
- you don't have to salvage anything - me explaining the white savior complex a bit more, although I appreciate you clarifying about being abc (so am I!) - although i'm still not okay with the original ask i do appreciate you reaching out again and taking the time to clarify - i'm sorry for being so hostile about it /gen - if you do want to chat feel free to dm (whether about this or hornyposting - i'm stoned af rn lmao and am chilling, esp now that you've taken the time to clarify/reach out)
i wouldn't worry about salvaging anything because it doesnt need to be. you taking the time to type this out already says the world about your position and intentions as more genuine and, honestly
most people don't know. my main gripe was the feeling that someone was trying to come in and shut my voice down. with the invalidation that i have dealt with personally, but also as a community that is constantly having our voice stomped on, the comment about feeling the right to say it was what set me off.
I'm sorry I just kinda assumed you were white (guess we were in the same boat there lmao), but a huge thing that irks me in general (not isolated to this obvs), is that a lot of the people that do these types of callouts are usually someone with multiple dominant identities, and rarely the identity of the group they're trying to protect. and this is a huge problem in the social work field especially because the dominant group is *constantly* speaking FOR the marginalized group, regardless of its what they want or not.
anyway, i'm glad you reached out. i'm still not okay with the ask, but you bringing clarity to it does make it a bit easier to deal with. if you want to come off anon and dm me, i'd be glad to talk and chat, even if it's about this (or levi ackerman's cock idrc)
with anons, comes an extra layer of unease, animosity, and uncertainty, so the potential for miscommunication is very high. but again, the fact that you came out, clarified, despite technically not even needing to because i never would've figured out who you were anyway, says much more about your intentions and authenticity (positive) more than anything else could have
sorry i was so hostile in my responses. this is clearly something i've had to tell people off about. my offer still stands, if you want to dm, please feel free (i'm nice once you get to know me i swear LMAO) to
4 notes · View notes