#anyway it seems like her books follow a similar cycle of ambiguously or explicitely mormon characters | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wild-at-mind · 1 year

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I think I figured out a while ago that the part of being raised Evangelical Christian that fucked me up the most was the aspect that your thoughts are constantly being monitered by god. A close 2nd was the very commonly expressed idea that giving your life to god would make you very happy, with the underlying idea that if you were unhappy then god did not love you.

#it's hard to explain but i feel like my early teen years were a constant cycle of 'giving my life to christ'#and failing to live up to it (because i remained unhappy and looked at material to do with sex mainly)#interesting sidebar- we don't really have Beatrix Sparks books in the uk but i have become kind of fascinated by them #due to listening to a lot of podcasts about them #oh fuck i meant beatrice sparks sorry #anyway it seems like her books follow a similar cycle of ambiguously or explicitely mormon characters #constantly doing sinful things followed by a return to the fold followed by another backslide etc on and on #i'm not mormon clearly but that cycle seems very familiar #also the characters are all teenagers and all the things they are interested in doing are 'sins'#some of which are portrayed as fun and attractive to do! so yeah #god i still remember the fucking christian rock concerts followed by the 'are you REALLY given to christ?' guilt ridden talk #fuck me :(#it's hard to shake off these damaging ideas especially as evangelical christianity massively rewards credulousness

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