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#anyway!!!!!!! i had this whole bit from danny's pov in the beginning where he just decided to go to sleep but realised that fucking sucked
hailsatanacab · 8 months
Note
For the prompt ask game!
9. Sleep deprivation and/or 37. Secret Relationship and/or 40. Identity reveal/major secret reveal
(I selected a few so you can chose the one that resonates the most.)
For any DPxDC characters. <3
*emerges from a google docs, covered in blood and panting* i did it... it is done.
thank you for the prompt!! because i love a challenge, or because i can't stop myself, i went and did all of them!! for everyone!! everyone is sleep deprived and everyone is revealing secrets ^^'
Danny/Tim, mentioned Jazz/Jason
(๑•́ ₃ •̀๑) enjoy!! prompt ask game
kid napping
“Red Robin, sound off. Status?”
“All good here, Oracle. Everything okay?”
It’s been a slow night, never a good sign. Pent up energy itches under his skin and he stretches when he stands, preparing for whatever Oracle is going to throw his way. It’s going to be something, he can tell.
“Good.” Relief briefly colours her voice answers, before she becomes serious again, keys clacking away in the background. “There’s been a report from Agent A. It appears that one Timothy Drake has been kidnapped and is being ransomed for five million dollars and a helicopter. I’m tracing the call now.”
“A helicopter, too? Kidnappers these days, used to be they just wanted their money and that would be the end of it… a fucking helicopter, wow.” Red Hood scoffs, and Red Robin can’t help but join in the laughter over the comms.
“Doesn’t exactly sound like these are the brightest tools in the shed now, does it, Hood? Wonder what poor schmuck they’ve got instead.” Nightwing says, slightly out of breath. 
The smile slips off Red Robin’s face and clammy, cold dread shivers down his spine. A stone settles in his stomach. He wets his lips and clears his throat. “Oracle, can you pull up the CCTV on my apartment near WE? Any closer to tracing the call?”
“Still on the trace, they’re using a jammer. Agent A is cooperating so they should phone back soon, which will help.” she reports, falling into silence as he finds the video feed.
“You know who it is?”
“I hope not.”
It’s tense, he taps his feet on the rooftop, fingers tightening over his grapple as he fights the urge to fly off the roof and check for himself. It better not be him. Please, dear God, don’t let it not be him.
“What are you thinking, Red Robin?” Batman growls through the comms. Red Robin can hear the wind under his words, whipping fast as he no doubt makes his way over to his position.
“I had a, uh, a friend coming over tonight. From behind, he… he could be mistaken for Tim Drake.”
The jokes fall silent, the comms growing serious as they pick up on his tone.
“Well, fuck.” 
“Eloquent as always, Hood.”
“Shut up, bat-brat.”
“You were right, Red Robin, it looks like it was your… friend they caught, instead. About two hours before the call came in. I’m following their van now, I should have the destination soon. In the meantime, it looks like they’re heading towards the docks.”
Red Robin throws himself off the building, shooting his grapple as low as he dares to get the fastest swing he can. 
They have Danny. 
Worry gnaws at his gut even as gravity pulls it into his throat with another swing.
Danny is… And Red Robin means this in the nicest way possible, but Danny is fragile. They haven’t talked about it, but RR knows that Danny has health problems. Something plaguing him since he was young, that’s landed him in the hospital more than once. A weak heart, far too slow to be normal, possibly chronic fatigue—he’s always so tired, falling asleep anywhere he can.
Sometimes, he doesn’t even need to put his head down. Once, when they had gone to the corner store to get some popcorn to enjoy their movie (which Danny had explicitly and repeatedly promised he wouldn’t snore through this time), Danny had rested his head on Tim’s shoulder while they were waiting and he’d just… gone. On his feet, asleep, just like that.
He’d laughed, when Tim woke him up. Apologised. Said Tim made him feel safe enough to fall asleep just about anywhere and—
Red Robin grits his teeth and corrects his course as Oracle updates them with more precise coordinates.
Tim had carried him home that night, piggy-back for four blocks, but by the end of it, he wasn’t tired at all. And that’s another thing, Danny’s just so light. It’s concerning.
They never did watch that movie, but it’s a night that Tim can’t help remembering fondly all the same. They’d ended up rewatching some old sitcom that Danny’s seen countless times but Tim’s never really bothered with, Danny drifting off to sleep again and Tim eventually following him, because… sleep is easy with Danny.
It’s the same for him, he thinks. He can’t explain it, but he feels safe enough to sleep with Danny, too.
He needs to be alright.
“So… Is this friend just a friend? Or a friend friend?” 
“A friend, Nightwing. Now hurry up.”
He’s not in the mood to play these games, not now. There’s a reason why none of them know about Danny, and this is one of them. His family, as much as he loves them, are just too damn nosey for their own good.
“You know that doesn’t answer my question at all.”
“Then why don’t you ask something intelligible, rather than continue with your childish antics?” Robin snarks, and for once, Red Robin has to agree with him. Or, rather, he’s grateful for the distraction that it gives him.
Tim has secrets. He’s sure that Danny does, too, and so far—aside from the standard background check he always runs on new friends and friend friends alike—he’s done very well to respect them. He just can’t say that his family would do the same.
They can be overwhelming, to say the least, and Tim has tried his best to protect Danny from that.
Only to fail to protect him in every other way that it counts.
“How long have you guys been ‘friends’?”
“Nightwing, save it, please.”
“What’s his name?”
He ignores him.
Red Robin lands on the building first, thank goodness. He wastes no time in finding a skylight that can be pried open fairly quietly, slipping inside without a second thought.
“Wait for backup, Red Robin, that is an order!” Batman says, when he lets them know he’s in.
“Negative, Batman. I’m getting him back.”
“Red Robin!”
He weaves silently through the desks on the second floor of the warehouse, always moving, always keeping a trained eye on the shadows around him.
When he reaches the stairs, he hears voices.
“Looks like three of them, armed. The-the hostage is tied to a chair in the middle of the room, he…” Red Robin takes a steadying breath. The person has a burlap sack over their head is slumped to the side, from where he is, Red Robin can’t see if his chest is moving. There’s blood on the floor. “He needs medical assistance. Another two on the northside entrance.”
The comms explode in admonitions, everyone pleading with him to stay where he is, to wait for help, but fuck that. With a tap, he switches them off and he can finally, just about make out the words of the kidnappers as he creeps down the first few steps.
“—shouldn’t he have woken up by now?”
“I don’t know, man, you’re the one that hit him! Do you think he’s—”
“No! I didn’t even hit him that hard, I swear!” the man cries, holding his hands up in surrender. “I just couldn’t take any more of his stupid jokes!”
If there was any doubt in Red Robin’s mind that they picked up Danny by mistake, it’s gone now. Yeah. If you get Danny, you get his stupid jokes, too.
He creeps closer. 
There’s some storage crates between him and Danny, if he can get behind there without being seen then that leaves him in a good position for when whoever’s next in takes out the guys at the front. He can’t do anything without them gone first, not without risking them taking shots inside and endangering Danny.
The man that hit Danny circles round behind him and grabs at his hands.
“What are you even doing, Pat? Who gives a shit, leave him alone.”
“I’m just checking! I just gotta see!”
“Fuck’s sake, guys, who cares? We just gotta get our money, that’s it—”
“And our helicopter!”
“And our—”
“Shit, I can’t find a pulse! Shit, Frank, I killed him, I—”
Jason told him once that when the Pits overtook him, he used to see green. Instead of blacking out, he’d be swimming in that putrid Lazarus colour and he’d slip into that rage and bad things would happen.
He’s heard of people seeing red, too, but really, he thinks that’s more of a literary device.
Tim doesn’t see anything aside from his targets.
A barrage of birdarangs take the guns from the guys at the front, the three around Danny startling badly enough that the guy that kil—that’s behind Danny—stumbles, losing his footing.
Only one of them shoots.
Amateurs. 
There’s a round of curses on the comms as the shots come through. Oracle must have turned them back on.
“Fucking hell—Nightwing and I are at the front, Red Robin, don’t worry about them.”
Red Robin’s barely listening.
He spins, kicking the largest guy in the stomach hard enough so that he doubles over, wheezing. Following through the movement, another kick lands on the side of his head and he’s down. 
The second one, Frank, gets his wits about him and raises his gun, spraying wildly. He’s a shit shot, going wide in panic, and Red Robin simply ducks and rushes forward, keeping low. Tackling the guy, he grabs the gun off of him and uses it to smash him across the face, once, twice, three times, before he stops moving.
“Oracle, get police and paramedics on scene, now.” Batman says, the displeasure in his voice evident. “Red Robin, Robin and I are coming in from the top.”
Pat hasn’t even made it up off the floor yet, scrambling backwards, fear plain on his face. 
Red Robin stands, breathing heavily, gun still in hand.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to do it! Please—please, don’t, please!”
Red Robin doesn’t kill.
Well, no, Red Robin doesn’t normally kill.
No, that’s not quite right, either.
Red Robin has killed. Red Robin will more than likely kill again. Red Robin sees no problem with killing.
The gun is up, pointing towards the guy without any real thought about it.
Footsteps rush behind him, the familiar heavy footfalls of Batman and Robin, so he doesn’t bother turning around. The gun follows the guy as he keeps pulling himself backwards, snot and tears mingling down his face.
“Red Robin,” Batman says, softly.
It’s always weird hearing Batman’s voice like that. It’s not the first time, obviously—Batman can’t use his scary intimidating voice on victims or children, after all—but having it used on him is weird. 
“Breathe.”
“He’s dead. They killed him.”
If hearing Batman’s voice was weird, Red Robin can’t even recognise his own.
Distantly, he realises he’s dissociating. There’s a tightness in his chest, it’s hard to breathe, a growing buzz drowns out any noise in his ears and he can’t think, he can’t—
A heavy hand squeezes his shoulder, jolting him out of his thoughts. Batman reaches around and gently removes the gun from his grip, and Tim feels the instant loss of it. He should have done it, why hadn’t he done it?
Robin takes care of the last man, his crying cut off by a swift kick to the head. Nightwing and Red Hood join them, zip-tying the men on the floor and starting to drag them back to the entrance of the warehouse one by one.
No one says a word.
Shrugging off Batman’s hand, Tim moves towards the chair.
Shaking, he takes a deep breath and removes the sack. The small part of him that was left hoping it wasn’t him, it couldn’t be him, please dear God let it not be him, shatters.
Even dead, he looks peaceful.
Tim’s seen death. He’s no stranger to it, he’s seen what it can do to a person. There’s some blood coagulating over his eyebrows, but otherwise, he looks peaceful. Is that comforting? That he didn’t suffer?
Danny’s head lolls to the side as the sack comes completely away, his hair flopping over his eyes. Tim’s been on at him to get a haircut lately, he thinks it’ll be nice tidied up a bit, just on the sides. It’ll get rid of that permanent bedhead. Help him with job interviews, he’s got to be thinking about that now that he’s in his last year of college.
It’s about the only thing that’ll hold him back, Tim thinks. Danny’s brilliant. Any employer would be a fool to turn him down because of his shaggy hair, but employers are stupid so it makes sense to put your best foot forward and—
Tim falls to his knees.
Fuck.
He’s dead, he’s really—Danny’s skin is horribly pale, cold to the touch. Gone is his bright, cheerful smile. 
“Danny, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I—” 
He stops himself with a deep, shuddering breath. He can’t break down here, he can’t, he can’t, he can’t.
Instead, he tips forward to rest his head in Danny’s lap, arms curling around himself. They were too late. They got here as fast as they could and they were too late.
 “Danny, I’m so sorry…” he whispers. “I… I love you, I love you, I’m sorry.”
Dimly, he can feel the others standing around them. Someone crouches down beside him, resting a comforting arm over his back, but he doesn’t turn his head to see who it is. He squeezes his grip on Danny’s legs tighter.
“Come on, baby bird. Let’s—”
They’re interrupted by a huge, honking snore as Danny jerks himself awake.
Tim’s head snaps up, staring at Danny with wide eyes.
“You were asleep?” Red Robin springs up, several different emotions rapidly flip flopping through him.
“Wha… What?” Danny heaves a yawn, blinking blearily down at him. “Sorry, I’m just… they were shit kidnappers, man, really boring. Honestly, worst abduction yet.”
“You were asleep? I thought you were dead!”
“Not mutually exlusive, you know.” Danny says through another yawn. He rolls his neck around with an almighty crack and glances at everyone. “Didn’t think I’d warrant the whole Bat brigade, though…”
“The kidnappers thought they had Tim Drake.” Batman supplies, while Red Robin tries to work through the emotional whiplash.
“Ah, makes sense… wait.” Danny sits up suddenly, squinting at Red Robin. “Did you say you loved me?”
“No, of course not, why would I—”
“Tim? Is that—are you—are you Red Robin?”
“Everyone, hold the fuck up!” Red Hood shouts from the other side of the warehouse, having finished securing the perps to a streetlight outside. “Double R is dating Danny fucking Nightingale?”
Well, there goes his identity… Oh, who’s he kidding, Danny’s smart. There’s no way he could have salvaged that. This was not how he thought the night was going to go.
“Cranberry, is that you?” Danny twists in his chair, somehow delighted to see Red Hood rescuing him, too. “I thought I smelled you lurking about!”
“Shut it, you little shit. Since when were you dating this dweeb?”
“I’m sorry,” Red Robin pleads, hands in the air to try and slow down the onslaught of information and insults, “you two know each other?”
“Cranberry?” Nightwing echoes, looking as lost as Red Robin feels.
“Yeah, Cranberry—The Cranberries—zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie. Obviously. Also he’s wearing a big, fuck off red helmet.”
“Yeah, sure, makes sense.”
It’s about the only thing that does.
“And please don’t call my boyfriend a dweeb, Cranberry. Especially when he just said he loves me for the first time.”
“He only said it because he thought you were dead.”
“I am dead, so it counts.”
“Only half, so I’d say that puts you at a solid ‘like’. Tim’s—and savour this, Tim, because I’m only going to say it once—Tim’s intelligent, so I’m sure he’ll come to his senses soon.”
Danny just throws Red Hood such a shit-eating grin. A level of feral that Tim’s only seen before in Damian. 
“That’s what I used to say about Jazz, too.”
Hood scoffs in offence, and to be honest, Tim’s not sure where he should go from here. What the hell is happening, how do they know each other?
“Come on, is anyone going to untie me or am I really meeting your family mafia-style?”
“Do it yourself, Slimer.” Red Hood laughs, crossing his arms.
“Ugh, you suck so much. I’ll fucking slime you, just you wait. Can’t believe Jazz even likes you, I preferred it when she was dating Johnny.”
And then, without Danny doing anything other than muttering obscenities at Red Hood, the ropes fall to the ground. In one swift motion, Danny stands up and stretches himself to his full height of 5’6.
“All of you need to explain, now.” commands Batman, and honestly, Red Robin’s very much on his side of it.
“I can’t believe it… Jason and Timmy are both in secret relationships? That’s… How come no one told me?” Poor Nightwing sounds the most shocked out of all of them. He turns to Damian and clasps onto both of his shoulders. “You’re not secretly dating, are you, D? Please tell me you’re not, please tell me you’re single, please?”
Of course, Robin just clicks his tongue and pushes his hands away. Really, Red Robin doesn’t think that Nightwing’s in any danger of that happening, he’d be surprised if anyone could stand Robin enough to actually date him.
He shakes his head and turns to Danny, who’s staring right back at him, worry clear on his face.
Fuck, he... He's alive. He's really alive.
Tim pulls him into a bone-crushing hug, fingers buried deep in his NASA shirt. Tucking his face into the crook of Danny's shoulder, he laughs wetly with the joy of it. He's alive. He hasn't lost him. He's safe.
“I’m sorry I haven’t told you before now, starshine, but…” Danny breaks the hug and softly pulls away from him to rise on his tiptoes to place a kiss his cheek. The skin burns cold where his lips touch. “I love you, too. Also, you’re gonna wanna sit down. This is going to be a lot.”
#dpxdc#dead tired#anger management#(barely but it's there haha)#dcxdp#hailsatanacrab🦀🦀writes#i'm sorry this has taken a while but also this week has kinda sucked and i'm still pissed off about that#so writing has been a nice little break from that!!!!#i hope you enjoy it!! i'm not fantastic with writing romance/ships so like... hope it's alright haha#also i feel kinda bad about not putting the whole phantom reveal too but like... we get that all that time haha#idk maybe i'll continue it#OH SHIT I FORGOT MY WRITING TAG HOLD ON#must admit - i do like that you can edit the tags now even though the new post maker sucks#anyway!!!!!!! i had this whole bit from danny's pov in the beginning where he just decided to go to sleep but realised that fucking sucked#it was so boring haha#so we got this instead!#hope the emotions came across - i feel like i have a tendency to just go cold and clinical when emotions happen#idk#oh! danny and tim met because danny's a part time barista and when tim ordered his monstrocity of a drink danny just winked and said#'ah the walking dead special coming right up!' and added another three espresso#jason and jazz met before they did though - and none of them knew they were dating the other's family#danny and jason have a bit of a rocky relationship - he's not good enough for jazz!! she deserves way better than some two-bit gangster!!#jason just thinks he's a cute overprotective brother - he really envies their relationship and wishes he could have something like that#he likes to rib danny and tbh danny is really warming up to him too - now that the gross stinky ecto is starting to filter out#(which is thanks to him and jazz - which jason does know about and is extremely grateful for)#(he really does love jazz and is a little bit jealous that tim told danny he loved him first)#(jason goes home that night and dips jazz into a kiss and whispers it into her skin over and over again)#(he loves her he loves her he loves her - and who the fuck is johnny?)#once tim gets over his shock he's doing good! of course he accepts danny there was never any question of that#he meets ellie and then introduces her to kon and the rest of the team and ellie decides she might like to do some superheroing for a bit
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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years
Text
Runaway: Daniel Michaelson’s Story
CW: Threats involving guns stuck in bad places (NOT THERE), dehumanizing language, pet whump, conditioning, brainwashing, POV of heavily conditioned, hopeless whumpee/caretaker, muzzling, noncon touching, referenced noncon
Tagging Danny’s people:  @slytherynjolras, @whump-it, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @finder-of-rings, @spiffythespook, @burtlederp, @whumpywhumper, @18-toe-beans, @pumpkinthefangirl, @special-spicy-chicken, @whale-whumps, @swordkallya,
NOTE: This takes place approximately four months after Danny is abducted.
Nate loved Casablanca the best out of all the movies the body had left behind when Bram brought them here to stay. Not because of the actors, really, or even the filmmaking. 
He loved it because of Danny.
Danny knew all the lines by now, and he would say them along with the actors, mimicking their old-fashioned accents as he sat next to him on the couch after midnight, the two of them brushing against each other, trying to laugh in whispers at the same jokes over and over, and sometimes Nate put an arm around him and he leaned into it, and it almost felt normal.
Normal except for the deep red scars that dipped across the bridge of Danny’s nose and  notched into the sides of his jaw from the metal thing that Bram had fixed onto him after Danny called him a rapist to his face. Normal except for the bandages, the bruising, the bleeding that went on day by day, every time Danny failed to answer to Red or didn’t beg the right way or on his strongest days, refused to beg at all.
Nate, Bram loved - but there was no love with Danny. Only a cold, implacable, unpredictable violence. The only affection Bram showed the redhead was laced with reminders that he was less than, with the simple fact that Danny was, in Bram’s eyes, just the puppy - a glorified walking corpse. Danny maybe hadn’t understood that until the thing went on his face and he didn’t talk for two weeks, because he couldn’t, because Bram would not let him until he learned to behave.
Nate understood it. Bram was building a family, sort of, for as long as he allowed Danny to live. And Nate could only sit to the side, drowning in Bram’s eyes, and let the pain and degradation happen and pray that he could do enough to keep Danny together in the spaces between.
Life was normal - as much as living like this could be - except for the misery and anger that haunted Danny, dogged his every move, burned in his long silences and the way he froze up or spat bitterness every time Bram touched him, not smart enough to learn to lean into it, to fake it, to just go along to make it easier on himself. Not smart enough, or just not willing to watch himself turn into what Nate already was.
Danny was a ball of anger and unhappiness. All of that, and Danny’s righteous sense that there was supposed to be a better place, a better life, than this for the both of them… they were all feelings that Nate simply couldn’t access any longer.
Not since Bram had thrown Danny into the trunk of his own car. Not since he’d covered the backseat of that car with blood and left it in a ditch on the side of a highway. Not since… not since Bram had decided to keep Danny rather than kill him. 
What Danny didn’t understand, no matter how many times Nate tried to explain it, was that there was life before he had been chosen, and life after, and there was nothing else.
There is no life but Abraham. 
Danny didn’t know that yet, but… he would. He was already learning the rules, rules Nate already knew and other rules, too. He didn’t believe them, yet, but he would. Once the rules had crowded out all the room he had to believe anything else. 
Nate was cracked inside his head, now, and he knew it. He’d tried to pretend he wasn’t, when he was on the run, but life with Bram and Ashley had ruined him before he’d ever found the courage, just that once, to escape. He was even worse now. He flinched at loud noises and stuttered until he could barely be understood. He was everything Bram wanted in bed and never said no (he’d had never listened anyway), and who else could love someone who had let himself be rewritten so thoroughly?
In the life before Bram, he’d been stoic and dry-witted and a parade of one-liners, someone whose coworkers were never sure whether or not he was making a joke. Here, four and a half years since they had found him in a bar and decided to destroy his life, he was quiet, and if he looked into Bram’s eyes enough he was happy, and who could ever love someone like that?
Sometimes Danny looked at him with empty eyes, spent whole days curled up on his mat staring at nothing or worked hard on Bram's project of the day in total silence... or just looked down and nodded when Bram called him a good boy… and he wondered how much of Danny was even left. Enough to fight, sure, but even the fighting was a little bit less each day. 
It was okay. This was just Danny’s life now, and if he learned to accept it, he could start to feel better after that, to be happy again. He just had to know that this was his life now.
One morning, Nate woke up beside Bram with the sun shining brightly through the window, the air cool and crisp inside the cabin, chillier outside. Mid-morning, but that was normal. Bram slept late and Nate usually did, too, unless Bram had a project that would take long enough that an early wake up was needed.
Danny was always up before everyone else - at sunrise or even earlier, no matter how late they were up the night before. Especially as the weather had gotten colder - the leaves were brightly colored and falling off the trees in droves, making any trip into the woods to check on traps an exercise in crunching through underbrush. As it got colder outside, it was colder inside, and Nate watched Danny begin to shiver, day by day, the thin clothing Bram allowed him never, ever enough.
Nate woke up thinking of Danny, nearly every morning, and today was no exception. He stretched lazily, let a still-half-asleep Bram kiss him without complaint, and pulled on a loose pair of flannel pajama pants. He wandered out into the living room to find he didn't smell the usual fresh pot of coffee.
Coffee was one of Danny's jobs, and it was the only one he didn't resent, that he liked doing. They’d moved the coffeemaker into the living room so Danny could reach it on his chain, filling the coffeepot with water from the bathroom sink and measuring out the grounds in there, brewing it strong, the way Bram liked it. 
Today, though… nothing.
"Dan-… Red?" Damn. If he forgot to use the right name, Bram would get angry. He had to get better at it, but he always stumbled, because he was trying so hard to remember he was Danny inside his head. 
The mat next to the couch was empty, the blankets were gone, and Danny's chain was lying across the floor with no Danny at the end of it. Nate stared down at a single broken link on the end. He'd found a weak spot, Nate thought, an actual honest-to-God weak link in the chain. His heart dropped to his knees and then jumped back into his throat as he looked over to the kitchen and saw the inside door was still standing open, the screen door cracked.
No. No no no no.
Don't leave me, he thought helplessly. I need someone with me, don't make me love him alone. God damn it, Danny, don't leave me here without you, I need you here with me, I need you here. You’re supposed to be with us now.
Something in the back of his mind tried to tell him this wasn’t the right way to respond, but he had buried the part of himself that thought things like that, and it wasn’t a very loud voice any longer. 
"B-Bram, come out! C-c-c… c-c-cuh… damn it! Fuck! B-B-B-… Bram!”
Bram came stumbling out, and as Nate spun around he could see the genuine worry for him in his eyes, worry that he might be hurt, that Nate needed help - whatever Bram would consider ‘help’, at least. “What is it, Nate?” 
Bram’s eyes lit on the mat, and the chain, and the total lack of a Danny where a Danny was supposed to be. “Ah.” 
Bram stilled suddenly, and Nate took a step away from him as all the humanity and gentle affection and love he wore like a mask simply dropped off of him, like he’d shaken off snow. He stood like a predator. 
I’m just the luckiest kind of prey, Nate thought, and his vision was growing pale and foggy around the edges as he breathed in shallow, gasping pants.
Bram continued to stare down at the empty mat. “Puppy’s gone.”
“Y-y-yes, he’s g-g-gone, he r-ran away. He’s g-g-gone, he’s gone, he-” Nate’s hands went up to his hair, digging fingers into the black until it hurt, trying to calm his racing heart. Don’t leave me I can’t live without you. I can’t do this by myself all alone again, I can’t be his alone again. “He weh-... went into the w-w-woods, the woods, there are things in the woods, Bram-”
“Ssshhhhh,” Bram soothed, stepping over to him, putting his hands on either side of Nate’s face, leaning forward to kiss his forehead, gently. “Put your hands down.”
“B-Bram-” He dug his fingers in tighter. “Bram, h-he’ll die-”
“I said put your fucking hands down.”
Nate’s hands dropped immediately out of his hair and down to his sides.
“Breathe. In and out, Nate. In and out.” He followed Bram’s orders, he always followed the orders now, and felt his breath slowing down, getting deeper, almer. “Sssshhhh, calm down, baby,” Bram continued, his voice gentle and sweet. None of the predator here, none of the inhuman calculation behind blue eyes. “Calm down. It’s okay. I'm worse than anything out there, I've got you. You belong to me, nothing out there would dare touch anything that’s mine." One cold hand slid around behind his neck, rubbing gently, and Nate felt his heart start to slow under the touch, leaning forward until his head dropped onto Bram’s shoulder.
“He d-doesn’t kn-... know how to l-l-live in the w-woods,” He said softly, lips barely moving. Bram’s shoulder was cold, but he was always cold, more like a reptile than a man. "He'll d-die out there."
The cold felt good against skin heated with fear. 
No one’s going to hear him. No one’s going to hear him screaming for help. No one. Not even us.
“I know he doesn’t,” Bram replied, still rubbing at the back of his neck with his knuckles in a gentle motion, back and forth, up and down. “I know that, I don’t want him to know. Don’t worry, okay? I’ve been tracking game since I was eight years old, and he’s going to leave a trail as wide as an elephant’s. He won’t go far.”
“So you’ll g-g-go… go find him?” He could feel his throat finally relaxing, the stammer starting to settle. “You’ll b-bring him back? Back to me?"
“We’ll find him, baby,” Bram said softly. “Don't you worry about him. I don’t let dogs run away from me.”
“He’s not a d-d-d-duh… a dog, Bram.” He never stood up for himself any longer, only rarely stood up for Danny, but this… he had to try. He lifted his head, briefly meeting Bram’s eyes, trying to steel himself against the possibility that Bram would be angry. “He’s not a dog,” He said as firmly as he could, proud of himself when his voice was deep and solid and strong. “He’s m-my friend, h-he-... he’s part of us.”
“Okay,” Bram said softly, barely flickering an eyelid. Letting it go, for now, if not forever. “But he’s a very bad Red, isn’t he? He’s misbehaved, hasn’t he? He tried to leave you, baby, how dare he leave you.” Nate just let his head drop back down, unwilling to say the words, to play along with this game. “We’ll find him,” Bram repeated. “We’ll find him and we’ll bring him back home where he belongs.” 
Nate nodded, letting his fingers curl into Bram’s shirt, because he liked when he did that, he had always liked when Nate initiated affection. Some of the old disgust threatened to rise in him, the old loathing of them that he had tried so hard to hold onto. These days, though, most of that disgust and loathing he turned on himself, because if he didn’t love Bram, why even stay alive?
“Th-thank you,” He said quietly. “I love you. I-I want him back.”
Please, I just don’t want him to die.
“I know,” Bram said, and kissed into his hair at the top of his head. “I’ll get him back for you, Nate. Don’t worry.”
It was the wrong thing to think, the wrong way to look at it, but he had been with Bram a very long time, and he was tired and lonely and his mind was a constant nonstop loop of muffled screaming, and Danny was the only thing that ever made him feel anything else. 
“Th-thank you.”
 “You’re welcome,” Bram murmured. He pulled back and away then, and there was a cold smile on his face that Nate knew very well. “Let’s give him three days.”
“Th-three days? We’re n-n-not going im-im-im, im… right away?”
“Oh, no, that’s no fun. Three days is perfect. There's a cold front coming in tonight. He’ll be freezing and fucking starving by then. You and I will go find him, we'll split up and I’ll give you a good head start. If you find him first, I’ll let him live, okay, baby? Just for you. If I find him, I’ll fucking choke him to death and let him rot and grow mushrooms if he wants to be in the woods so badly."
Nate’s heart pounded again and he stared at the glacial eyes in the pale face and watched the movements of the darker things that lived behind them. He nodded, slowly. Bram had taught him how to track, how to find the trail of game and keep going until he found what he was looking for. It’d been a while, but… but he didn’t have a choice. 
“Th-thank you,” He said again, and the words dropped like stones. 
Bram looked at him, all but glowing with excitement. “Let’s have some coffee, Nate. I want to go over all the basics with you so this is at least a fair competition. I haven’t done this in so long, a competition for hunting someone. Not since…” Bram’s words trailed off, and a flicker of pain and grief was in his face. “Not since Ashley.”
Nate remembered. Ashley had games she liked to play, and one of them had been to bring a body conscious and kicking to a spot in the woods just outside the town in Tennessee, close to the mountains. They would set the body free, make a bet on who would catch them first, and hunt them down, the two of them cackling like demons while Nate stayed trapped in the house, waiting for them to come back arguing over who had truly won.
Bram was nearly crackling, like lightning brought to life, and Nate found it hard to look away. It had been so long, and Danny had given him the opportunity to go on a hunt, and Bram had always looked so good before a hunt - Nate had only seen him go out with Ashly a few times, but all the restless energy in him that turned to anger or the itch was smoothed out when he did, because it was only a matter of time before he walked the woods and ran the injured animal down.
Nate understood his own pain was a pale shadow of the ecstasy Bram and Ashley could take from those final moments of miserable fear.
But Bram loved him, anyway.
Nate moved over to the coffeemaker, staring blankly as his hands went through the automatic motion of adding coffee grounds to the filter, pouring in the water, and pressing the button to brew. 
I have to find him first.
---
In the end, he did.
He'd glanced back at Bram before he left, in heavy jeans and a flannel over his shirt, a hat pulled down low to cover his ears against the cold. Abraham Denner was just visible through the kitchen window, watching him while he sipped his coffee. The other man smiled at him, and he shivered.
I hate you, you fucking monster, you stole my life - and his. I hate you so fucking much.
He could still hate him. Not for long, but it was still in there. It just got swallowed up by the voice in his ear and the flat ice in his eyes.
Who would even love Red but us now, baby?
Those were Bram’s thoughts, the things he said sometimes when they were in bed and Danny was out on his mat sleeping in the living room, and Bram would murmur, I’ve fucked him up too much for anyone else, just the way we did to you. Remade him. Who would want him with muzzle scars on his face? 
I think they won't know what they are. It was a struggle to fight the disgust and the cold, clean hatred that tried to well up when Bram said the word, the name of the thing, the thing he never ever named. 
He'd have to tell them eventually. I'd pay good money to see the face of whatever body he tries to bring home when he has to explain where they came from.
He wouldn't tell them. He'd lie. He could still-
Could he? Bram chuckled, rolling into his side, letting fingers trail along Nate's shoulder and down his ribcage, over one hip. Could you still, after me, with anyone else?
He wanted to say yes. Instead, he thought of how even with Danny he hadn’t been entirely sure he was going to be able to do much that night he’d invited him over, and shook his head.
That's right. He's ours now. Now he knows that I’m in his head and marked on his body. Who would want him when he doesn’t know any other way to be but ours, the way he is now?
How is h-he, right n-n-now, to you? Nate closed his eyes, shifting in the bed as Bram's hand found its way across his abdomen, and slowly moved down. 
Half-broken and nearly feral for it, Bram said thoughtfully. If they found him tomorrow, those bodies he belonged to before, they would still know him. But not for long.
Nate had thought of the difference between the angry, hilarious, fucking funny man he’d started flirting with, and the quiet, withdrawn redhead that sat on the mat staring off into space.
He’d been a little shy before, although he had been eager enough when Nate had suggested he come over that night. Now he flinched every single time Bram touched him… but had learned to let his chin be tilted up for the kiss, to open his mouth when ordered, and he knew better than to try and stop it, any of it, no matter how violent Bram was.
He’d been shoved into the trunk still spitting curses, but after weeks in the thing - after months in the woods - he kept them mostly locked behind his teeth now. 
He’d grown up with staff and a cook - Mrs. Verona or something, which seemed like a weird Shakespeare reference more than a name to Nate - who did everything for him. Now he forced his hands into scalding water when cleaning without a word until they were so red he couldn’t stand to touch anything for hours afterward. He scrubbed the bathroom until it was cleaner than it had been when they’d moved in, he moved unconsciously around the kitchen picking up their dishes to wash after dinner. He’d burned himself on the oven once when he was still learning how to cook and hadn’t said anything until Bram had noticed the infected spot on his arm days later, and even then he’d tried to refuse the bandage and antiseptic.
No, Nate had said, quietly. N-no, I don’t think they w-w-w-would recognize him now.
Good. Bram had smiled, nearly asleep. I don’t want them to. I want him to be with us, a part of our family, our little Red. Yours and mine both - just like you were mine and Ashley’s.
Yours and mine, Nate echoed, and was frightened when he didn’t stammer or even feel anything but a vague relief at the idea that at least he got to have someone, too. 
He was losing his fucking mind.
As soon as he stepped into the woods at the edge of the clearing, he had a two-hour head start. If Bram found Danny, he was dead. If Nate found Danny, he would be brought back here, chained back up, back in captivity and back in hell.
 But he'd be here, with Nate, where he belonged.
For just a minute, he had hesitated, torn between what was probably the right thing - to refuse to chase Danny down like a runaway dog, even though Bram was probably right that he wouldn't last long by himself - and what he wanted - Danny here on the couch to watch movies with and cook dinner and, when he forgot he was miserable, to laugh with him.
No. There was no life before Bram. There was no life after. There was only now.
Finally, Nate had started walking, looking for the telltale scuffs, broken twigs, and disturbed underbrush Danny had left behind. Three days of placid windless sun and increasingly chill nights hadn't wiped any of it clean. He felt like he was an hour behind Danny, not three days. 
He even found a wavy red hair caught at Danny's height in a tree. When he went up on his toes to tug it out, he heard a strange sound and looked up - to see a white raven sitting on a tree branch twenty feet ahead.
It watched him with strange pinkish eyes, and Nate shuddered at the feel of something crawling up and down his skin. Then he caught sight of a bit of torn cloth further away, and when he looked back the white raven was gone. 
He crouched down to look at the bit of soft fleece caught in the bush. Red and black plaid - one of Danny’s blankets, his favorite, the one he always kept pulled the furthest up so it brushed his chin while he slept. It’d been Danny’s present for the first month he’d spent with them - Bram always knew the days, tracked the time, long after Nate had stopped knowing anything beyond whether or not the sun was up. He’d given Danny the blanket, and when he hadn’t said thank you, there had been-
No. He wasn’t going to think about what had happened every time Danny didn’t say ‘thank you’ for a gift. He wasn’t going to think about it, because he loved Bram, and he loved Danny, and he had to love them both or everything would collapse here into the reality that he was standing by doing nothing while Danny was slowly destroyed.
It would collapse under the weight of having to admit he loved Daniel Michaelson and even with that, could not save him.
Nate looked up.
He saw the raven again, further away, watching him. He had a wild, irrational thought that it was trying to lead him to Danny. It made no sense, it was just a fucking bird, but… he stood and walked after it, anyway.
It took hours. Morning turned to day turned to afternoon and Nate's neck began to prickle with nervousness. He ate a granola bar, drank some water from the metal bottle in his backpack. He'd be out here after dark at this rate, even if he did find him first. They'd be alone, in the dark, in the woods.
It was evening by the time he caught up with his trail - a trail that he thought had been moving slower and slower as time went by. Danny had no sense of direction and had even begun to circle back towards the cabin without realizing it. It was dark enough that he had his flashlight in one hand, not on yet but ready to use. The white raven was still just ahead, and he was starting to hurt, from having been on the move all day.
He would never leave Bram Denner again; he was tired of losing things whenever he tried.
In the dark, with his legs burning and the trees around him like silent gods, it felt strange here, almost like he’d gone back in time or space to something much darker. His heart pounded, half-convinced he'd turn a corner and see something his eyes could not explain.
"Fuck!" He heard from somewhere ahead of him, a hoarse half-whisper that carried through the twilight-silent woods. "Get off me!"
He looked around, realizing the white raven was gone, and stumbled forward, using the trunks of trees around him for balance, heart pounding. Where was he? What was real? Bram was real. The cabin was real. Danny was real.
He came around a stand of trees to a small clearing, hardly even worth calling that, with a fairy ring of mushrooms off to one side and… Danny.
Danny was very real, and he'd stepped right into one of Bram's goddamn animal traps, and the white raven was currently yanking on his hair as hard as it could with its beak while Danny swatted at it ineffectually. “Get the fuck off me! Where the fuck did you come from, you piece of shit?!”
“H-how did you even m-m-manage…” Nate said, and Danny jumped nearly a foot in the air from surprise - or he would have, if he didn’t have one leg still stuck in the trap. The raven fluttered back up into a nearby branch and sat, watching them. Pink eyes seemed almost to glow in the dark. “You couldn’t s-see the tr-... trap?”
There were sticks stuck in his red hair and smudges of dirt on his pale face, and that was a familiar sight. Danny didn’t look frightened, though. He looked furious.
Nate flicked the flashlight on and Danny winced away from the bright light. He was wrapped in the black-and-red plaid fleece blanket over a blue T-shirt that said be nice to me, I’m still learning. 
Bram had thought that was hilarious, bringing it back from a supply run after special-ordering it, forcing Danny to thank him for the gift while he kept one hand in his hair, running slowly through as Danny shook with anger and stared down at the floor.
Nate had had to leave the room, pretending he needed a nap, when Bram began to graze his knuckles across the back of Danny's neck, murmuring “It’s okay, it’s okay,” Nate had barely been able to hold the scream back behind his teeth and Bram had looked up to smile at him and he knew-
“I-I think I b-broke my leg,” Danny said in a thin, strained voice, pulling his mind back to the present. Nate moved over to look, head tilted.
“Probably not,” Nate said, noticing his own lack of stammer in a distant kind of way. He always had stammered less or not at all when he was truly alone with Danny, just the two of them. He tried to crouch, but his left knee protested at any attempt to bend it, and so finally he just shrugged and bent himself over as best he could, using the flashlight to take a better look. “Bear traps are m-made for bear legs, not people, and I th-th-think it’s just got you held, not b-broken. Bram wanted to see if he could make b-b-bear oil but he hasn’t c-c-caught one yet… Probably it broke the skin and you h-have one hell of a bone bruise.” 
“Bone bruise? Is that a thing? H-how do you kn-know all that?” Danny asked. Nate gently pushed some of the torn cloth from Danny’s pants away, and noticed his skin was damp and frigid to the touch as he hissed at the slightest brush of Nate’s fingertips against the bruising skin. Danny was shivering so hard the chain attached to the trap rattled a little.
“Ashley and B-Bram taught me about traps,” Nate said simply. “Danny, you’re freezing. Wh-when did you step into this?”
“Yesterday? Last night? It was already dark, I couldn’t see it, he’d put leaves on it.” Danny looked down, frowning, teeth chattering. His lips were a little blue-gray in his very pale face, and there was an odd glitter to his warm blue eyes. As the sun went down the warmth fled the forest, and the chill air prickled along his skin. “I think yesterday. I ran out of water yesterday, too.”
“Dumbass. You’re s-s-such a f-fucking dumbass,” Nate said, voice laced with affection, and he was smiling as he pulled a bottle of water out of his backpack and handed it over. Danny drank half of it in one go, and his stomach growled audibly. “Did you even bring any f-food?”
“A little. Not enough.”
“What was y-your fucking plan, R-... Danny?”
“I thought he was l-lying about his neighbors. I thought maybe if I got far enough-”
“This is C-Canada, Danny. Northern Al, Alberta or s-s-something. There’s n-n-no one around us for fifteen m-miles at least.” Bram had wanted to come here for the wilderness, the isolation. Space and time to make him perfect for you, Nate.
“You have to g-go back,” Nate said softly, and let himself thump into the dirt with one knee pulled up to his chest and the bad knee straight out, frowning down at the trap. He carefully placed his hands on either side, gritting his teeth as his right hand protested at the pressure grinding all the wrongly-healed bones against each other. He slowly began to push the jaws of the trap apart, groaning at the pain, but finally it moved enough that Danny could grab onto his leg with both hands and pull it out, hissing as Nate let go and the trap clamped shut - this time on thin air. “You know th-that, right? You won’t g-g-get far, and you h-have to go back home.”
“It’s not my fucking home. It’s a cage. But… I know,” Danny said, and finally something other than anger was in his face. He whispered the words, and there was a moment where they both just sat still, neither one looking at the other, and Danny showed nothing but despair and a dawning resignation. “I just saw that the chain could break, and… and I-I didn’t think it through-”
“No,” said a cheerfully smug voice just behind Nate. Both of them froze immediately, eyes meeting in a flicker of panic they shared. “You sure as fuck didn’t, Red.”
Bram.
Nate swallowed hard, terrified of what might happen now but deeply relieved that he wouldn’t have to recreate the horrifying walk back through the forest with just Danny. Bram was right - he was far more terrifying than anything that could find them here. “I-I f-f-found him first, Bram,” Nate said softly, not quite defensively. “You s-said-”
“So you did,” Bram said, pride ringing in his voice. “I knew you could do it. Although to be honest, I never tried to track Red. I’ve been tracking you.”
“Y-you have?” Nate turned to look back over his shoulder, and Bram at night in the woods looked more like a spirit than a person. Deceptively slim, with that strange, unearthly beautiful pale face that had been nearly identical to his sister’s. The very slightly upturned blue eyes glowed in the light from Nate’s flashlight, reflected it almost like a cat. He’d let his hair grow a little since they came here, and Nate sometimes caught himself reaching out to touch the slight wave in the white-blonde hair. He was holding a gun in one hand. “You were f-f-following… me?”
“Yeah, baby. I was never going to hunt him. I just wanted to see if you passed the test. You did. I’m so proud of you.” Those pale eyes, warm when they looked at him, went colder as they slid over to look down at Danny. “You, on the other hand… I'm very disappointed in you."
“B-Bram-” Nate said, eyes on the dark metal in the last of the remaining light, Bram holding the gun loosely and casually, as though he walked around like this every day. “D-don’t sh-sh-shoot-”
“You found him first,” Bram said, turning that sweetness on him. Nate felt himself relax, almost automatically - Bram wanted to see him relax, to see the effect of his mood. To see that they were so controlled by him. “What was our deal?”
“I-If I found him f-f-fuh… first, he gets to l-live,” Nate said, and hated himself for the knowledge that he once would have said it strongly, but now it was mostly tremulous hope. Because he didn't know - Bram without Ashley was an Bram with only Nate for an anchor, a rudder, and he could never be to him what Ashley had been. 
“That’s right,” Bram said amiably. “And you did. So I guess, you bad dog," He said to Danny, "this is your lucky day.”
“H-he’s not a-”
“Shut up, Nate.”
Nate's mouth snapped shut and he looked down, letting Bram run fingers over the top of his hair, shivering a little at his touch, not unpleasantly. 
"That's what I thought," Bram said quietly. "The problem here is that the two of you forget, sometimes, that we belong together. Red stays, he stays forever. We belong together forever. All three of us. Until we die. Well. Until Red does, anyway.”
Danny had gone very still, as he usually did when Bram looked directly at him or said things like that, sitting on the ground with his injured leg pulled up to his chest, still shaking in the cold air. Probably too tired from not sleeping and weak from not eating to even try to run, Nate thought, not that he would have gotten far. Bram had told him once that he learned to run by wearing down injured deer following them for hours without stopping until they bled enough to collapse. Danny was a skinny city puppy who'd spent four months chained to walls. He couldn't go any further than a hunter wanted him to go.
Bram moved over to him, going right past Nate to slowly lower himself to Danny’s level, head tilted, as though he were looking at a particularly troublesome rodent.
“You ran away from me,” Bram said, thoughtfully. Danny didn’t look at him, his eyes fixed down and off to the side. “Why would you go and do a thing like that, hm? I’ve been good to you, little Red.” He reached out, laying his hand against Danny’s face. 
"Fuck you," Danny spat. When the younger man tried to jerk his head away, the hand with the gun twitched, a little. 
Bram takes, softly. “Language, Red. You don’t pull away from me. I’ve been nice to you and I’m not going to be nice again. So you’re going to hold still for me, and shut your fucking whore mouth.”
“Bram,” Nate said, reaching out a hand. "Please-"
 “Quiet."
 Danny went still again, and Bram let the hand slide back and around, burying his fingers into the dirty red hair, jerking Danny’s head back to look at him. "What made you think you get to run off, puppy, eh?"
"I'm not your goddamn-"
"P-please don't s-s-say it," Nate said, stomach flipping with nausea and fear. "He doesn’t l-l-like it when you say y-you're not…"
“Yes you are," Bram said as if Nate hadn't spoken. "You’re part of our family. You and I have a good time, don't we?"
Danny shook his head rapidly, swallowing disgust. 
"Hm. Maybe not from your perspective. You just need a reminder that there are three of us here, and you’re never leaving me. Nate got lots of reminders before I fixed him, Red. What was your favorite, baby?"
"My wh-what?" His head was pounding, so loud he could barely hear Bram at all. The rush of his own blood in his ears was too loud. Danny still didn't look up, frozen under Bram's stare, his hand.
"Your favorite reminder of what you are."
"Oh. I, uh- um… th-the, the, uh, the t-time with my, my r-ribs…" It was the only thing he could think of. Bram’s blade slipping into his skin.
"Mmmn, I liked that one, too. Good choice. So what should we give you, Red?"
"I… I don't know," Danny mumbled. "Do whatever you want, you fucking psycho."
"Oh, I will. What’s your name?” Bram asked, in a low, soft lover’s voice. “What’s your name, puppy? Tell me your name.”
“Danny M-Michaelson,” Danny said, but he made the mistake of looking up into Bram’s eyes and got caught there, the way Nate sometimes did when he was angry, when you got to see the animal that sat behind the man’s face. His warmer blue eyes widened, lost in the fury and hate and distance in Bram.
“I’ll give you one more shot,” Bram murmured, circling his fingers along Danny’s scalp, gentle, soothing. Danny’s shaking was getting worse, but Nate didn’t think it was from the cold this time. “What. Is. Your. Name.”
Danny swallowed, and when Bram leaned in closer to his face, he flinched, breaking eye contact, curling in on himself. “My n-name is Red,” He said quietly, forcing the words out. 
“Say it.” Bram leaned in even more, just a little closer, slowly pushing the barrel of the gun into the bloody, bruising wound on Danny's leg.
The redhead hissed through his teeth, whimpering in pain, but he didn't pull away. Smart, smart. Nate stared at the two of them, afraid to move, afraid if he broke the moment Bram might change his mind and decide Danny didn’t get to live, after all. 
“Introduce yourself to me, like we’re just meeting on the street. ‘Hi, my name is Red, and I belong to Abraham Denner.’”
“N-no,” Danny shook his head, but the hand gripped back into his hair and he went still again, swallowing hard. “I-I don’t w-w-want to-”
The gun pushed harder into his leg and the whimpering became a cry, bouncing around the trees, swallowed up by them like Bram had swallowed up Danny’s entire life.
“I don’t care about what you want. Ask Nate, he can tell you that what you want doesn’t mean anything to me. I will make you what I want, and I don’t care how long it takes. I will fix you and when you’re done you will die like the rest. So. Introduce yourself to me, or I will cut off every single finger on your right hand and make you toss them in the fireplace yourself. Do you like your right hand, Red? Are you… attached to it?”
He paused and glanced over his shoulder, smiling like a little boy who had done a trick. "Good pun, right?"
Nate nodded quickly. "G-good," He said weakly.
Bram turned back to Danny. "So?"
“Just do it,” Nate whispered. “Just d-d-do what he w-w-wuh-... wants.”
“Everything I do is what he wants, now.” Danny had tears standing in his eyes, and he curled his right hand against his chest. “Everything I do is what he wants.”
Welcome to my life, Danny.
“Not true,” Bram said, in the tone of two men having a reasonable, rational disagreement. “You do what Nate wants, too. Would that be easier for you? ‘Hi, my name is Red, and I belong to Nathaniel Vandrum.’ That’s easy enough, isn’t it?" He let go of the younger man's hair, let his hand drift down to grab Danny's, forcing him to open it back up, running his fingertips over Danny's knuckles, fingernails, palm. 
"Don't touch me," Danny said, voice wavering, but he didn't pull his hand back.
"I’m going to count to five, and if I get to five and you haven’t said it, you lose five fingers." He smiled, playfully tapping each of Danny's fingers in turn. "One-two-three-four-five, little body. Then I’ll count to ten, and take a hand. Then I’ll count to-”
“I-I’ll do it.” Danny spat the words, and there was still defiance in his voice, in his eyes. There was still fight there. He buried it under submission but Nate still saw it - and if he did, so did Bram. "I will, just, just give me a fucking second… I will."
Nate closed his eyes, curling his left hand into a fist. Come home with us. There was a moment of awful silence.
“H-Hi,” Danny stammered, and Bram held onto his hand, the three of them sitting in the final dregs of twilight. He didn't move the gun, not yet. “Hi, m-m-my name is… is… fuck-”
“No, that’s what you’re going to do for us, not who you are,” Bram teased, and Danny let out a broken half-choked sob, nodding as much as Bram would let him, gathering himself back together. “Take a moment, puppy. Take a few deep breaths. Easy, Red. Easy. It's okay, we've got you. In… hold for five… out… in… hold for five… out…”
Danny breathed as ordered, and when he nodded again, it was slower. “I-I’m ready, Abraham.”
“Good, good, there's a good boy. Now try again."
“Hi,” He started again, voice breathy but calmer, his hands in fists and Nate could tell even with just the light of the flashlight that his face was flushed red. There were tear tracks marking through the dirt smudges on his angry, desperate face and the forest loomed around them.
I love him, Nate thought. I love them both. He has rewritten me. We're the only people who could love each other now. I’m a fucking monster, too.
“Hi,” Danny repeated, a little hopelessly. “My name is R-Red, and I b… I belong to Nate…”
“To Nate…?” Bram prodded.
“I belong to Nate Vandrum,” Danny finished in a whisper. Nate’s body burned with shame. “My name is Red. It's Red."
“Good boy. That’s better. Now say your first rule, it’ll be easier now, won’t it?”
Danny’s voice trembled, submission written in every line of his body. “My name is Red,” He whispered. “I belong to Abraham Denner.”
“Guess you get to keep your fingers tonight, hm? Aren’t you glad?” He lifted Danny's hand and kissed each finger. Then he stood up, and when Danny said nothing, Bram kicked him hard in the side. Danny winced, nodding frantically. “That’s what I thought. Get the fuck on your feet. Where are we going, little Red?”
Danny looked up, forcing himself to stand even as his injured leg clearly protested. Nate hurried to his feet as well, looking back and forth between them. Was this it? Was this the worst Bram would do tonight?
“I asked you where you think we’re going,” Bram repeated, a promise and a threat in his deep voice.
“Home,” Danny said quietly. Whatever fight had spurred him on out here was gone now that he had already given in, aware that he stood on a tightrope between surviving the night and being left here to bleed out and rot. “We’re going h-home, Abraham.”
"Good boy," Bram said, and smiled, and both of the other men cringed away from the way it didn't seem like a human smile at all.
He held a hand out to Nate, who took it without hesitation. 
It took them nearly the whole night to get back. Nate mostly leaned on Bram by the end, letting his strength and his arm around his back help him along when his protesting legs didn’t want to go any further. Bram murmured to him, supportive things, reassuring things, and despite all his fear and worry for Danny, it was… nice, that Bram cared enough to help him.
And he’d made sure Nate found Danny first - he hadn’t wanted him to die, either. That was something, too. He doesn’t care about him, but he cares about me, and… and maybe Bram can learn. Maybe I can teach him to care about Danny, too.
Jesus Christ Almighty, please keep me from losing myself out here. Please let me stay myself long enough to find a way to save him.
Danny stumbled and limped ahead of them, prodded along by Bram kicking him whenever he slowed down too much, and if his own leg was an agony, he never said a word. He kept his eyes on the ground ahead of him, wrapped in the damp, dewy blanket, and shivered the whole way. 
His hair was a shock of bright and bloody red in the dark, his shadowy form just outside the flashlight’s beam of light. 
When they got back they were all exhausted, even Bram who was flushed with the thrill of recapture. They took a shower, cleaned themselves off, and Bram let Nate dress Danny’s wound as best he could.
He'd been right, the skin was broken from the bear trap's teeth on either side, but the bone was fine, and mostly he'd come away with a bruise that took over his entire lower calf and ankle, just above the metal shackle still welded on.
Danny limped to the kitchen and cooked them breakfast while they let their hair dry, the three of them sitting in silence at the table over plates of eggs and venison steak - Danny kneeling on the floor and allowed to eat with his fingers, but at least allowed to feed himself, and it was normal. 
Nate was relieved, and he hated himself for it. Danny was back, and the wilderness would not get him, and Bram would not kill him. He was relieved at the small, slim bit of mercy, he was grateful for it, and he was a monster just as much as Bram for being relieved that Danny had been forced back here to suffer all over again.
After breakfast, the thing came back out of the closet. "No," Danny said when he saw it, backing away until he backed right into a wall, but they all knew his no meant nothing and he wasn't going anywhere. 
Bram laughed at him, a deep and rumbling laugh. “Yes.”
Danny’s eyes flickered to Nate’s, some wordless plea there, and Nate had to swallow back his protest and look carefully, firmly away. He couldn’t help, and he didn’t want to watch.
Danny let Bram slide it on over his face, the tiny sharpened bits cutting into his skin all over skin, and Nate knew if he looked he’d see Danny slipping away, sliding back into his mind, going loose-limbed and distant. Bram buckled it tighter than he had the last two times Danny had had to wear it, until Danny - or whatever worked his muscles and kept him breathing - winced at the pain. The muzzle right back in place as though it had never left.
Nate didn’t say anything at all. What good did it do to fight? Bram had won, over and over and over again, and they had nothing to fight him with except the thoughts he couldn't read inside their heads.
But he hated the thing, hated seeing Danny muzzled, and some of his helpless love for Bram withered when he saw it again. 
Nate swallowed and thought, I can't make him live like this just for me. 
"Until you learn to behave," Bram said, gently, patting at the metal along his jawline. "How long you wear it this time is up to you, Red. Got it?"
Danny nodded, and when Bram pointed to the mat on the floor, he went. 
“The problem,” Bram said firmly, “is that you don’t understand that you’re our family, now. So we’re going to fix that No matter how long it takes.”
Danny stared at nothing, empty eyes above the metal already beginning to rub raw that same scarred spot on the bridge of his nose, as Bram unhooked the broken chain from the wall and went outside to get a new one. He didn’t move, only stared ahead with empty eyes, as Bram put the new chain on the ankle cuff, running a hand up and down his leg, pressing into his new wound through the bandages, until he whimpered again.
Nate’s eyes closed, slowly. I can't be the reason he breaks. I'm breaking him, too. I'm an accomplice. I'm as bad as Bram because I don't want him to leave.
Bram pushed Danny gently to lying down, then stood and sighed. “I’m going to get some sleep. You can stay with him for a while, if you want, on the couch.”
“Y-Yes, Bram. Thank you, Bram, for letting me stay with him,” Nate said, with sincere gratitude and so much self-loathing he could barely stand it. Once Bram was gone, Nate pulled the thin blankets Danny was allowed up over Danny’s shoulder for him, nearly to his chin the way he liked, showing only his eyes and hair.
Nate waited until the sound of Bram’s breathing in the bedroom had gone slow, deep, and heavy, and then let one hand rest over the metal that held Danny’s jaw shut and locked away his voice, palm resting just over the spot where it was already bleeding. 
Danny opened his eyes, watching him, and Nate leaned forward, resting his forehead on Danny’s temple.
They stayed there like that, Danny lying down and Nate kneeling, for a while. Nate started rubbing his thumbs in slow circles against the metal, first at either side of his jaw and then the bridge of his nose, knowing the slight pressure would help soothe the ache that had to already be starting. Danny closed his eyes at the feeling of relief, letting out a slow sigh through his nose, since he couldn't open his mouth any longer.
Once he was absolutely sure Bram was asleep, he leaned forward to kiss Danny's forehead and whispered, "I’m so, so sorry.” 
Danny pushed himself up all at once and dipped his head, burying it into Nate's shoulder. Nate felt his shirt dampen with tears that leaked out, Danny making low 'hnnnnh, hnnnnnh' sounds in the back of his throat. 
Bram rolled over in the bedroom, murmuring something pleased and happy. Sweet dreams, Nate thought, bitterly.
Nate slid an arm over Danny, to pull him a little closer, and hummed, in a gentle tuneless sort of way, until Danny stopped crying and gradually laid back down on the mat, let Nate cover him up, and fell asleep.
Nate looked over his shoulder at the bedroom, open door giving him a perfect view to Bram’s peaceful sleeping face.
I hate you so much, you son of a bitch, you fucking bastard, for what you've done to him, for wanting to make him just like me.
I love you I can't live without you. I love you so much, you made me love you so much.
I have to figure out how to love him more than you.
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krixwell-liveblogs · 6 years
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Arc Thoughts: Extermination
Hoo boy, what an Arc.
Where I felt that Arc 7 lacked a true climax, Arc 8 feels like a climax as a whole. This genuinely feels like a point where you could believably say “End of Part 1”.
Pretty much everything was really well written. Yes, that includes 8.3 - a chapter that was so thoroughly hopeless that I started talking about potentially quitting down the line if that became the norm. Now, looking back, I see reason to the hopelessness: They were legitimately fighting a hopeless battle, so Wildbow started establishing that feeling from the beginning. Is it not good writing to be able to put the reader into a state of mind that matches the situation like that?
Similarly, Wildbow pulled off one of the most effective false deaths I’ve ever seen in a work of fiction. I think the key was that Interlude 8a was written like a real death chapter, an effective one at that, to the extent that even though we didn’t see the “body”, I was far more sold on her death than Taylor was once we actually had the armbands reporting her name. (Incidentally, the armbands getting DDoSed was a fantastic way to preserve the ambiguity.) Taylor’s uncertainty also helped to make it not feel like a cop-out when Tattletale turned out to be alive.
Honestly, I should probably have known Taylor was right. She tends to be. :P
And then there’s Armmaster’s shenanigans. Pride goeth before the fall, and Armmaster fell hard. Featuring a fantastic parlor scene run beautifully by Tattletale.
The Arc title
Usually these are too obtuse for me to figure out without help (”Shell” being a notable exception), but I think this time it’s pretty obvious. Lots of people just got exterminated by the Daleks Leviathan. What more is there to say?
I guess there could still be more layers to it, like to Leviathan, but I don’t have a nanotech Halberd.
Prediction review
Alright, so we’ve got two sets of predictions to go through here.
Let’s start with the predictions from the previous Arc Thoughts post:
The obvious one: Much of the city’s honorable cape population will band together to take down the Endbringer.
Check.
There will probably be a lot of death and destruction before they succeed, possibly including already named characters. 
Check as fuck.
In particular, I’m a bit worried for Danny’s safety - Wildbow could get a lot of angst mileage from killing him off right now.
This one’s still up in the air. That fact leads me to believe he’s alright, besides the psychological results of still not having seen Taylor two weeks after a fucking Endbringer attack.
On a brighter note, I think the experience will cause Taylor to ultimately change her mind about leaving the Undersiders. We’ll also likely find out what the Undersiders ultimately decide to do regarding Coil’s offer and their existing arrangement. I’m no longer certain what they’ll decide, though I’m slightly leaning towards them accepting the offer.
That damn cliffhanger!
So yeah! Just bring it, Endbringer… wait, bad wor–
Oh, he brought it, alright.
And now for the closing post of 8.1. You may remember this as the time I bummed myself out by trying to speculate on who would die. Let’s see how wrong I was, shall we?
Armsmaster, for one, has a huge death flag. As far as Brockton Bay is concerned, he’s practically retiring in dishonor anyway, most likely exiting the story for good (except maybe a very occasional guest appearance). As such, there’s no reason for him to not end up dying in this battle, possibly heroically to make up for his dishonor.
Ahahaha! This must’ve been rich to read, knowing what was ahead.
I mean he’s still most likely exiting the story, but he’s retiring in far more dishonor, and probably a one-way elevator.
There’s also a risk of something similar with Aegis.
I can’t believe I predicted Aegis’ death. I think I must’ve forgotten about his power for a second back when I was writing this, because I was certainly surprised when he died.
Taylor, obviously, needs to survive if she’s going to keep being the POV character and narrator,
Which apparently wasn’t the plan!
but I’m not sure I’d assume the same plot armor for all of the Undersiders. One in four is a scary ratio when we’ve got exactly four of the main protagonists here.
Oh yeah, that’s another reason why I was so sold on Tattle’s death. And then after 8.7 brought her back, all of a sudden there was Brutus and Judas on the monument in 8.8, bringing us back up to 2/8 Undersiders... dammit.
(Not gonna lie, though, I’d much rather lose Brutus and Judas than Tattletale.)
Anyway, I think if anyone’s going to die among them, Brian is particularly vulnerable, being someone Taylor has built up a strong emotional attachment to (that attachment having been ripped to pieces in the last Arc only makes it worse). Alec is unlikely because he needs more fleshing out. Lisa has some of the same issue as Alec, though not as intensely - we know her a bit better, but I still feel like there’s a lot more to know about Lisa before she gets killed off.
I was wrong about Brian, though I suppose 8.8 helps to confirm that last point about Lisa.
As for the rest, Sundancer is at some risk, though I think Wildbow might want to delve more into the issues in the Travelers at a later date, and Sundancer seems to be his main conduit for doing so.
I really thought she was about to die at one point, but she just went “down” instead.
I’m also thinking at least one of the big shots might go down, to show even more how powerful Leviathan is. Legend and Alexandria are at a fair bit of risk due to their idolization by Taylor, though their status as Triumvirate members ought to protect them somewhat.
One of the asks did mention that Alexandria almost died, though like pretty much every other death here, that was more a quirk of RNG than anything else.
Maybe Myrddin or Chevalier will go down instead - as team leaders, they’re still fairly big shots, just not that big shots.
Nope.
On the other end of the scale, there’s likely cannon fodder such as a whole bunch of thus far unnamed Wards and Protectorate members, Parian, Bambina… Laserdream and/or Shielder might go down too so we’ve got some from New Wave…
Well, one of those, and his dad, I got right, as well as the at the time unnamed cannon fodder.
Basically, lots of people are gonna die and this is getting morbid. I’m beginning to understand Lisa’s reaction in Agitation 3.6.
I had no idea.
Predictions for Arc 9
Arc 9 is largely a mystery for now, due to the cliffhanger in 8.8, but it’ll presumably deal with Taylor setting the first parts of her plan into motion. If Taylor decided to involve the Undersiders in it, we’ll also be dealing with her trying to regain their trust.
There’s also a chance we’ll learn more about Noelle’s situation towards the end of the Arc, given the tendency of Interludes to cover content relevant to the Arcs on both sides.
There’s not much more I can say. Extermination was a good’un. See you soon for the next one!
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kyurilin · 7 years
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Happy 11th Birthday, The Wreck!
In honor of my oldest Cars story, here is a list of everything I remember about all 7 stories of the Life Is A Highway Series, otherwise known as the absolute chaos I began with The Wreck.  I’ll throw it under a read more because this is going to get really, really long.
The Wreck
first story of the whole series, the plague that started it all
First chapter was a race, i believe set the season after the tiebreaker race, with a Ferrari named Tamburo Piacenza as the Dinoco sponsor
Chick gets crashed by Tamburo, so badly he has to leave the race and for some reason is taken to Radiator Springs
Chapter 2- the one where we suddenly find out Chick has a Mustang daughter named Misty who, unsurprisingly, went by Thunder.  I really liked that as a name back in ‘06.  I think this chapter also had Chick learning he’d crashed so bad he could never race again.  
Chapters 3, 4, and 5 are lost to time.  I literally could not begin to tell you what happened in them.
Chapter 6.  Misty decides she’s going to race in her dad’s place.  Keep in mind the two of them are still in Radiator Springs at the moment.  Misty leaves Radiator Springs and goes to wherever the next race was meant to be.  In the world of this story, you can get into a race just by signing up even if you’re only a 13 year old Mustang apparently.  At the sign up place, Misty meets Star, another Mustang, and Rusty who’s sole purpose in the story was to be indifferent enough to allow  a 13 year old to race.
Still chapter 6 (or chapter 7?) and Star is suddenly revealed to be Misty’s estranged mother.  Who left Chick because she was worried he’d get too hurt while racing.  Keep in mind, Chick was incredibly out of character in this story.  
Somehow Misty was allowed to race all because she convinced Chick she could do it over a phone call after Star and Chick talked for the first time in years.  Star for some reason left her daughter with Chick and is now suddenly concerned about her daughter’s wellbeing for the first time in years.  Also despite being concerned about racing, she works with racing.  Go figure
Chapter 8 or 9 was Misty’s first race.  I think she won.
Chapter 10 had Star and Chick reuniting for real.  They got back together.  Because that’s plausible in this world.
Chapter 11 is lost to time.
Chapter 12- the return of Tamburo Piacenza.  Who shows up in Radiator Springs.  And for some odd reason already has a personal vendetta against Chick.  He tries to kill Chick.  And gets pushed off a cliff instead. I think the actual pushing off a cliff happened in chapter 13 actually.  Misty did it to save her dad who couldn’t move out of the way in time.  Because he was still beat up.  After the chapter 1 wreck.
Chapter 14 is also lost to time.
Chapter 15 was the epilogue.  Star and Chick got remarried.  Lightning and Sally got married.  Misty became an official Piston Cup racer sponsored by Flixar (i thought I was being funny).  Tamburo Piacenza was left out entirely.
The Past, The Present, and The Uncertain Future
Prologue- Star and Chick now have a son named Danny.  This prologue takes place like a year after the epilogue of the last one.  The DRH come into town, and for some reason the best solution to letting them go is to have Misty beat Wingo in a race.  This was probably because Wingo was a favorite character of mine by that point.  Wingo beats her.  Turns out he’s a racing fan.  The rest of the DRH leave him (also I had them like super young teenagers for some reason??).  Wingo stays in Radiator Springs
Chapter 1- takes place i believe 9 years later.  Wingo and Misty are now a couple and have very young twins Jaina and Jacen (because I’d just gotten off a Star Wars kick).  Lightning and Sally have twins Cherry and Terry.  Wingo was also a racer because logic.  
Chapter 2- Cherry and Terry get mysteriously kidnapped by a blue Ferrari (I think it was that sounds right)
Chapter 3- Danny, Jaina, and Jacen get kidnapped by a Buick with terrible one liners
Chapter 4- I don’t think Sheriff was ever relevant to the story, much less any other actual law enforcement.  So Misty takes matters into her own hands and drives out down Route 66 to find her babies and her little brother. Due to plot devices (aka a storm) she stops in a little town about a half a day down the road from Radiator Springs called Lagartijos Corren (spanish for Lizards Run) where she meets Digit and Sienna Cartmann, and Jessie Currington.  Through a miracle to end all miracles, they have seen who she’s looking for and know where to send her
Chapter 5- Misty (who I forgot, was no longer referred to primarily as Thunder in this story for reasons) finds this abandoned warehouse where all the kids are being kept and is suddenly knocked unconscious
Chapter 6- Misty finds out that Tamburo Piacenza is behind this along with help from Darren McQueen (Lightning’s brother), Trip Weathers (Strip’s brother), and Thunder Hicks (Chick’s brother).  She can’t leave for god knows what reason.
Chapter 7- Wingo, Chick, and Lightning show up.  I think Strip was there too.  They somehow get all the kids and Misty, but then are stopped by the bad guys.  This might also be the chapter where it’s revealed that Tamburo Piacenza is Lightning’s dad.  Either way, the chapter ends with Thunder having a bomb, and Chick for some reason staying behind with the bomb even though all the bad guys leave?  I had it plotted as Chick wasn’t fast enough to escape, but now looking back this makes the least sense.
Anyways, Chick dies in chapter 7 because of his bomb building brother
Chapter 8- everyone else goes back to Radiator Springs.  Misty has to tell her mom that her dad is dead.  
Chapter 9- life continues ???
Epilogue- I think it was a first person POV from Misty about how she was going to get back at the bad guys
Life Is A Highway
Also known as the one this series was named for
Actually I only remember the latter half of this story 
Around chapter 4- Misty decides she’s sick of waiting around.  She wants revenge.  I even had a song I made up for this one.  She heads back to the warehouse where her dad died, but runs into Thunder along the way.  He left the bad guy set because he felt bad about what he did (really, i’m dead serious).  Misty begrudgingly agrees to let him help her. 
Chapter 5- they get to the bad guy’s hideout
Chapter 6- Thunder pulls the whole ‘what we did was wrong’ Tamburo is unamused.  There might have been a fight scene?  Misty was useless in it either way
Thunder has another bomb.  He kills the bad guys.  He murdered a lot of people.  Him and Misty escape back to Radiator Springs.
Honestly this one I think I reread the least??? So I don’t remember much. 
Epilogue- Thunder is easily accepted into living in Radiator Springs.  Turns out Chick also had an older sister named Marianna who comes to live in Radiator Springs.  The DRH finally reappear.  Then girl versions of the DRH reappear.  Everything is happy and somehow Thunder is forgiven
Fun fact- there were two spin offs of The Past, The Present, and the Uncertain Future
One spin off was called Unexpected- Thunder decided as he was leaving Chick to die that he couldn’t live with himself if he did, and saved Chick instead of letting him die.  I actually really loved Unexpected
The other was called Regrets- which basically was just a one shot setting up his character in Life Is A Highway.  
Storm Front
Otherwise known as the cancelled one.
Why?
Because I cancelled it.  
A big storm was going to hit Radiator Springs and split up the town.  I realized this mirrored the plot of a story I was reading at the time too much and cancelled it.  
Dangerous Sparks
I can’t remember when this was supposed to take place.  But I do know I had the first half of series labeled as the Misty stories, and this half labeled the Thunder stories because by this point I liked Thunder far better as a character.
Anyways, another bit of the prologue of Life Is A Highway is that Thunder’s old girlfriend Storm showed up, and the two of them got married and had twins.  Who I believe were named Rain and Lightning
In Dangerous Sparks, the bad guy was a Corvette named Mystery Sparks who showed up using the alias Carson Davis.  Mystery Sparks was a car serial killer.  Who killed all but one car from every family.  It was always a family of five, and she always left the youngest alive.  
As twisted as that is, the plot for Dangerous Sparks was that she wanted revenge on the Hicks family because they were a botched murder attempt.  
Unfortunately with Chick dead, her idea was to instead kill the one who killed him.  That makes no sense.  At all. 
The story ended with Thunder having yet another bomb that he used to blow up himself and Mystery.
Because of plot devices, Thunder lived.  But lost his voice.  Mystery died. 
Dangerous Sparks was a dark story.  I think I only published like two chapters of it before I stopped.
When the Sand Runs Out 
Here’s where we get to the fun part- the stories in the series that actually never saw the light of day.  By the time I got around to typing up Dangerous Sparks, I was losing interest in writing for these characters.  Hence why I gave up before i ever finished posting it.  This story and the next one only existed on paper.  
When the Sand Runs Out was a bittersweet slice of life story about Storm, Thunder, and their kids.  There was a lot of practicing at talking through expressions in this one since Thunder still didn’t have his voice thanks to the bomb in story five.  I believe there were a lot of sweet moments with Thunder and the extended family too.  
Around the last bit of the story Thunder had some sort of issue and was given only a little while to live because it was something that needed to have been fixed ages ago.  I don’t remember if he ever actually told the other characters.
The story ended on super sad note as Thunder ended up actually dying- just as he was able to beat the odds on being unable to speak and tell Storm one last goodbye.  
There was some super sad epilogue to this one as it was originally meant to be the final story
Wish You Were Here
It wasn’t the final story.
This was the final story, and also one that originally was not even planned.  Everything up to When the Sand Runs Out was planned.  This one was a special add on I came up with in my high school creative writing class in 9th grade.  Yes.  I turned this one in for a grade.  My  poor, poor teacher.
Wish You Were Here was  another bittersweet one.  The Hicks family was dealing with their losses- Misty was having a bad racing season, Storm was struggling with the twins, and Marianna was bitter that she’d never gotten to say goodbye to Chick.  
So you wanna know what I did?
I retconned a way to make Chick and Thunder come back to life
It was a miracle
Everyone was happy
The story ended with a race between Marianna, Thunder, and Chick around Willy’s Butte because how else do you end a six story series
Oh yeah Chick being brought back to life magically gave him the ability to race again
Same with Thunder and being able to talk again
I think Thunder even had some ‘hey sorry for killing you Chick’ thing
And that, my friends, was the Life Is A Highway Series.
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farklelucas · 7 years
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“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” Scisaac please oh please
this ask is like two years old and i am sorry for this! the fic involves jealous isaac, flirty erica, and oblivious scott. totally au. told from erica’s pov.
always taking fic prompts
Erica sits down across the table from Allison and Lydia, who both just flick their eyebrows up at her. Ever since they started dating, they’ve become like a two-headed monster. Even Erica’s noticed, and she doesn’t exactly hang out with the cool kids. “Erica,” Lydia says coolly. “What can we do for you?”
“More like what can I do for us.” Allison blinks, now intrigued, and Lydia leans forward. “Listen. I know you have a betting pool going on when Lahey and McCall will get together.”
They glance at each other, and then back to Erica. “And how do you know that?” Allison asks.
Erica considers this for a moment. “Let’s just say a friend of a friend told me,” Erica says. She’s not technically lying. Cora came to her after Jackson had come to her, complaining about how Isaac was always mooning after Scott. Erica doesn’t know any of them particularly well, but she does like money.
“Anyway, since you two are the two-headed love monster, I’ve figure you have your bets hedged together, right?” They look at each other again, but Erica just keeps talking. “Well, I’ll tell you what. You add me in on one of your time slots, and I’ll have them together by then.”
Allison wrinkles her nose. “I don’t know,” she says, “isn’t that a little bit like cheating?”
Lydia glances desperately at Erica. Uh oh, One girlfriend’s already in, now she’s just gonna hook the other one. “I wouldn’t think of it as cheating,” she says. “I would think of it as hiring an independent contractor.”
There’s a pause. And then Allison shrugs. “Alright,” she says.
In seconds, Lydia’s taken out her phone and scrolled down her events calendar. “You’re added on for the week of November first,” she says. Erica begins a mental countdown in her head.
She smiles at both girls and, to her surprise, they smile back. “Pleasure doing business with you,” she says. Then she spins on her heel and heads toward the other side of the cafeteria.
September 23rd
Erica plops her things down next to Scott McCall’s in chemistry. He looks up and smiles warmly at her. “Hey,” she says. “Mind if I sit here?”
Of course he doesn’t mind. It’s Scott - Beacon Hill’s resident hunk with a heart of gold. He nods and clears away his stuff from her side of the table, giving her plenty of room to spread out her things. He turns to her and gives her a small wave. “I’m Scott,” he says.
“Oh, I know,” she says. Then she pretends to duck her head in embarrassment as he raises his eyebrows. “Sorry, I mean… I’m Erica.”
He grins. “It’s all good. Nice to meet you, Erica.”
She smiles as softly as she can. “Nice to meet you, Scott.”
Just then, Isaac Lahey busts in through the front door. He looks to Scott and smiles, waving a little. Scott beams and waves back. Erica just looks back and forth between them and, silently, thinks that this just might be easier than taking candy from a baby. To be determined, she supposes.
Then Isaac looks to her and frowns, tipping his head and furrowing his eyebrows. He finally makes his way to their table. “Hey,” he says. “I’m Isaac.”
“Nice to meet you,” she says. “I’m Erica.” Then she looks between the two of them, who seem to be communicating with simple glances. “Oh, I’m sorry. Are you guys, like, a thing? Should I leave?”
They both immediately blush, ears and cheeks going red. “No, you’re fine,” Scott says. “We’re not a thing. We don’t have to sit together.”
“Yeah,” Isaac rushes to agree. “I’ll, uh, go sit with Kira.” He smiles at them both, a semi-strained smile, and heads back to go sit with Kira, whoever that is. Erica just smiles at Scott, who smiles back, and then the class begins.
September 30th
Erica has been sitting with Scott in chemistry for the past week, and now it’s time to put the next phase of her plan into action. She tells Cora and Boyd and Malia that she’s going to be skipping lunch for a while, then plants herself at the empty table nearest to the door. Most kids ignore the girl eating by herself.
Not Scott McCall.
Sure enough, about ten minutes into lunch she feels a hand on her shoulder. Scott smiles down at her. “Hey,” he says. “Erica. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” she says, smiling sweetly. “I’m just eating lunch.”
Scott smiles, even though he’s quite genuine about it, and glances across the lunchroom. Allison, Lydia, and a few other people Erica doesn’t immediately recognize are there, laughing and talking. “Would you like to come sit with us?” he asks.
She bites her lip and looks to the table, trying her best to seem longing for human contact. “Will your friends be okay with it?” she asks.
She looks back to Scott, whose eyes are soft and pitying. “Of course,” he assures.
Hook, line, sinker.
Erica follows him back to his table. Scott stands at the head where, presumably, he sits. He clears his throat and they all immediately look up at them both. “Guys, this is Erica,” he says. “She’ll be sitting with us. Erica, this is… everyone.”
She chuckles lightly. “Hi,” she says. Allison and Lydia look at her with wide eyes, but thankfully say nothing. They would just be blowing their own money if they did, anyway.
He gestures to the empty seat to his right and she sits, spreading out her lunch.
Just as the first time, Isaac Lahey arrives a few moments later, this time with a petite Asian girl. They both look at Scott and then Erica, both seeming confused and disoriented. “Oh,” he says, blinking. “Hey, Erica.”
She smiles and waves. “Hi, Isaac.”
He frowns and sits at the other end of the table. Then she looks to Scott, who looks worried.
October 5th
Much of the same has been happening. Except now Erica has begun to slip in little things that will kickstart the whole volcanic meltdown she has planned for Isaac.
Little touches on Scott’s biceps, offering him her leftovers when she isn’t hungry, calling him ‘honey’ or ‘babe’ in a platonic way. It’s the little things that add up.
– 
October 16th
She’s afraid Isaac has begun to notice.
For instance, he’s reclaimed his seat at the lunch table. It began one day when he and Scott were sharing homework, and then it became an every day thing. And he’s definitely eyeing her seat in chemistry.
She only has a week or two to get them together, and she can’t help them if one of them keeps foiling her plans. She needs to do something and soon.
Lahey may be winning the battles, but the war will not be over so quickly.
October 21st
However, she doesn’t have time to do anything before Scott does it for her.
She closes her locker and he’s standing behind it, grinning that goofy and friendly grin he has for all his friends. “Hey!” he says. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m having a party at my house for Halloween.” He pauses and then adds, “You’re invited, obviously. I’m not just telling you to rub it in.”
She rolls her eyes, but fondly. Scott actually is a super sweet, dorky kid. She likes him. “Thanks,” she says. “That’s nice of you. When is it?”
“Oh, it’s on Halloween,” he says. “And it’s honestly not even much of a party, more of a movie night. The gang gets together and watches a bunch of scary movies.”
She pretends to wince. “Oh, gosh, I don’t like scary movies all that much.” This is a lie. She loves scary movies. She’s seen every Scream movie ever produced at least three times. “They’re, you know. Pretty scary.”
“Well, I hear that’s why they’re called that,” Scott teases. Erica snorts. “But if it makes you feel any better, I’ll sit next to you the whole time. That way Stiles won’t be a dick and creep you out or anything.”
That’s actually really sweet of him. She grins. “I would love to come.”
Then… she feels it. The opportunity to advance. She glances up the hallway to see Isaac staring right at them, a weird kind of fury on his face. She spins back to Scott. “Hey, there’s something on your face,” she says abruptly. “Can I get it?”
He barely has a confirmation out of his mouth before she reaches up and cups his face with her hand. She rubs her thumb on the invisible smudge on his face a few times and then lets go. “Got it,” she says.
He smiles. “Thanks,” he says. Then he heads off in the other direction.
October 31st
When Erica shows up to Scott’s Halloween-costume-movie-viewing party, no one else is there but her and Scott. Which is perfect - exactly how she planned it. She helps Scott set up and picks some of the movies. (She insists on Scream, even though she’s supposedly afraid of scary movies. So she’s a fan, sue her.)
Lydia, Allison, and Kira arrive next. Danny and Stiles are right behind them. Then Liam, then Jackson, and finally Isaac. Isaac, fittingly enough, is dressed in a toga like the Greek God he is. But he’s too late. Erica is already sitting on the two-person couch next to Scott, her hand on his thigh, halfway through the bowl of popcorn. He looks absolutely furious.
They watch three movies, and Erica screams (along with Kira) at all the appropriate times to convince everyone of her horror. She clings onto Scott and even buries her face into his shoulder at one point. Her old drama teacher would have given her an ‘A’ for this one.
November 1st
There’s some rustling and a dull thud. Then silence. Suddenly, voices - they’re slightly strained, but you can still just make out what they’re saying.
“I just… I don’t trust her.”
“Why not? She’s so sweet and super nice. Isaac, I think you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”
“I don’t see why I should. She’s always all over you. It’s Scott, Scott, Scott.”
“She doesn’t have a lot of friends and she trusts me.”
“Yeah, well, if she’s never given us a chance, why should I give her one?”
A lengthy pause. You can hear someone’s breathing, deliberately quieted.
“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
An even lengthier pause. “No.”
“You totally are!”
“Well, should I not be? She doesn’t know we’re together. No one does.”
“Isaac, do you even know how much I love you?” No response. “Would it make you feel better if we told all of our friends today?”
“… Today? At, like, lunch?”
“Yeah. I’ll even tell Erica myself. How’s that sound?”
“… Okay.”
The recording cuts off.
Allison and Lydia stare down at the recorder in total disbelief. Erica smirks at them. “Looks like my work here is done,” she says.
“They’ve been dating this whole time?” Allison murmurs. “How did none of us know?”
“They’re very sneaky,” Erica says. “It was hard finding them this morning. In the autobiographical section of BHHS library. Exhausting.” She picks up her backpack and smiles. “See you at lunch, girls. I’ll be expecting my third of the cut.” And then she walks off, on her way to third period.
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recentanimenews · 5 years
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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Goes Full-On Scooby-Doo with Episodes 162-168!
Welcome to the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! I'm Joseph Luster and I'll be your host this week as we continue ninja-running through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto anime adaptation. After last week's spicy blend of the conclusion to the Curry of Life arc and a handful of one-offs in episodes 155 - 161, it's time to get downright spooky with the Land of Birds arc in episodes 162-168.
  This time around we have a storyline that's almost beefy enough to take up the entire seven episode bundle. It's also one of the few times a filler story has focused on a baddie who isn't really connected to Orochimaru in anyway, but it still gives Naruto and his team the opportunity to evoke some of the emotions that run through the core of the show, reminding us that Sasuke is still out there somewhere. 
  Before Naruto can get to him, he's gonna have to solve a straight-up Scooby Doo mystery. Thus, without further ado… Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this Naruto filler arc… The Tale of the Phantom Samurai. 
*sprinkles magical dust all over the post*
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The Cursed Warrior opener felt like a more natural and interesting introduction to a mission, with Naruto getting the opportunity to feel a personal connection to it and pushing to take it on. Let's start off with a State of the Filler report: How are you feeling about the structure of the series at this point?
  Paul: The overall structure would be better without entire seasons' worth of filler, but to abuse the phrase that gives pro translators headaches, “it can't be helped.” The filler itself varies wildly in quality. Most of us found Raiga and Ranmaru and the Curry of Life insufferable, but I really enjoyed the Land of Birds, with its combination of low stakes, simple motives, a Scooby-Doo style mystery, and ninja actually acting like ninja.
  Jared: It is what it is. We are stuck in the filler mines, but one day we will free ourselves from them. I think overall it’d be better if the longer filler arcs didn’t feel so formulaic at this point, but I doubt that’s going to change anytime soon.
  Kara: With a couple of minimal gripes that don’t even really count as gripes, I really enjoyed this. It had ties back to our standard story and characterization but was content to be its own thing.
  Noelle: It’s still not good; I’d rather not have any filler overall. Still, they are trying, and it is worth noting some more effort. In terms of filler, it’s pretty okay.
  David: I think the structure of the series can be most cleanly explained by the whiplash between how the current opening sequence shows a highlight reel of all the coolest moments from the show so far, and the sinking feeling I get when the episode actually starts.
  Carolyn: Yeah, I can’t necessarily get behind entire seasons of filler, either. That being said, I do like that we’re getting away from the Sasuke drama just a little bit and seeing a little bit more humor again.
  Danni: I’m still very much dreading more seasons of pure filler, but this arc was actually... pretty good??? The Land of Birds arc stands pretty well on its own on account of not tying itself into the Sasuke plotline at all. It’s able to end on a satisfying conclusion without the caveat of “Well we didn’t come any closer to finding Sasuke.” On top of that it was a pretty interesting little side story in its own right, even if it did tip its hand a little too much with the twist. We also got a fun little absurd precursor to Food Wars which was justified entirely by seeing Naruto use Rasengan to make ramen.
  Kevin: I like that they’re at least trying out new stuff. It adds a bit more to the world (even if that information later becomes contradictory) and allows for new stories. Hoki became more of a standard ninja enemy eventually, but when he was first revealed, he was using trickery to mimic more famous jutsu, which I don’t think we’ve seen as a main villain’s gimmick thus far.
    We've encountered a few characters like Lady Toki in the past. The story of she and her brother Sagi—her unwavering need for revenge—adds another layer to the Sasuke parallels that drove Naruto to become invested in this mission in the first place. Did these characters work for you, and was the villain at the story’s core a suitable antagonist for a whopping six-episode arc?
  Paul: I wasn't deeply emotionally invested in Ladi Toki's storyline, but her motives were clear, and so were the motives of Hoki, the opposing protagonist and the leader of the Wandering Ninja. I think Hoki works for me because he doesn't have a super-villain's goals: he just wants to take over a small, defenseless country and seize power so his clan can stop being homeless. Hoki and company also behave like actual ninja, complete with deception, thievery, dirty tricks, and subterfuge, and that's some of my favorite stuff in Naruto.
  Jared: I think the character arc of Toki would have been better if it wasn’t so blatantly obvious what the twist was going to be. The villains could have been interesting with the idea of "here’s some folks that are just this mix of random jutsu." They’re unfortunately undercut from the start when they mention that while they steal their jutsu, it’s basically bad Genjutsu. So all the villains end up looking like jobbers. I mean, Kakashi literally tells one of the bigger ones that using the sharingan on him would have been a waste because of how much of a scrub this dude was.
  Kara: Any villain without an upline to Orochimaru is already several points ahead in my book. I get that he’s the show’s Big Bad, but it’s easier to suspend disbelief for a world where sometimes bad things just happen and not all of it feeds back into The Ultimate Evil. As others have mentioned, the Twelfth Nightery of the whole thing is pretty heavily broadcast from the get-go, which meant I was largely distracted by wondering when the other characters were going to catch up. Even so, the story of Toki’s need for revenge and Naruto’s ability to speak to that intelligently from another POV was still good. That doesn’t change.
  Noelle: Personally, I didn’t care too much for Toki, and the surprise was relatively predictable. It’s not up to the threat level of say, the Akatsuki or Orochimaru, but that’s fine—not everyone can be world-shattering cataclysmic villains. While not entirely engaging, it set out to do something and in that sense, I’ll say that it worked. 
  David: It absolutely didn’t have to be six whole episodes long, as evidenced by how much the plot drug its feet to get to the conclusion we all knew was coming in the first place. However, I did appreciate how Naruto himself actually seemed to be connected, at least thematically, to the story, which is the best part of the show proper and something most of the filler arcs forget to include.
  Carolyn: I do agree with the previous points that I wasn’t really invested in the characters and the twist was not at all surprising. That being said, I do actually like the idea of stealing jutsu. We watch Naruto and Rock Lee and friends work so hard. Even if it’s just some lame, not very good jutsu, I like seeing the other side.
  Danni: I found myself surprisingly satisfied by this arc’s cast of characters. None of them were really deeply characterized, but they were written well enough to justify the time devoted to them. It was like ninja Scooby-Doo with more political intrigue. And while I did see some of the twists coming, Moso being the real villain actually caught me pleasantly by surprise. 
  Kevin: In short: not really, but he could’ve been. There are several things that could’ve gotten me to like this arc more. A better twist would’ve been if Toki’s voice was always at least a bit feminine, rather than outright changing from a male voice to a female one when she is revealed. We also haven’t seen much in the way of political villains before, so Hoki being a corrupt advisor trying to gain power was actually more interesting than when his full intentions were revealed later. It wasn’t bad, it just had more interesting aspects that were ignored in favor of what ended up being a fairly standard “good guys fight single bad guy” fight.
    The Land of Birds arc hinted at horror in the beginning, but it basically ended up being a beat-for-beat Scooby-Doo saga. How did your expectations of this arc pan out, and is there a particular type of direction you wish they had taken instead?
  Paul: While the mystery wasn't extremely intricate—I knew as soon as they mentioned that Sagi had a twin sister that she had already disguised herself and taken her elder brother's place—the presentation sold me on this story arc. I liked how it kept creating scenarios that seemed spooky and supernatural, only to reveal them to be nothing more than smoke and mirrors. I prefer that to everyone having X-Men level mutant powers.
  Jared: If they didn’t keep beating home the point of Sagi and Toki being twins, it probably would’ve been better for the twist. I liked the idea of Naruto being grounded in the sense that ghosts are the one thing he just wants to nope out on. Maybe the arc as a whole would’ve been better if it leaned more into the supernatural element and have that be the big baddie.
  Kara: I actually think there’s a lot of merit to playing out Scooby-Doo stories in settings that already accept at least some degree of the supernatural. Like, we’ve got people who go to school to learn to turn into snakes and possess other people. It’s entertaining to see not only a subversion of that, but also where the “spooky” line is for characters whose entire lives are pretty darn weird already.
  Noelle: I live off horror, I want fully horror! But in all seriousness, having the ghosts not necessarily be truth is fine. That being said… I wouldn’t mind more horror, considering that we know spirits and souls do exist. 
  David: I honestly didn’t even consider that it wouldn’t technically be out of place in-universe for there to be a ghost. Now I wish that had actually happened.
  Carolyn: First off, I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who saw a Scooby-Doo parallel here. I even wrote a meddling kids joke in my notes. This arc was ridiculous and I loved it. I’m a big horror nerd, too. But when I was little, Scooby-Doo was as close as I could get to ghosts and demons, so I’m here for it.
  Danni: Literally as soon as I saw it was about unmasking a ghost, I made a Scooby-Doo joke in our Slack channel, so that was exactly what I expected and honestly hoped for. We even got a talking dog at one point!
  Kevin: I direct you to my previous answer. For those that don’t want to scroll back up, the basic version is that the arc had a lot of promise in the beginning, with a character reveal that could’ve been foreshadowed more interestingly and a type of villain we haven’t really seen in the show before… and then decided to not develop any of the interesting aspects and instead go for filler that isn’t outright bad, but just didn’t live up to what it could’ve been.
      Naruto's afraid of spirits, but what about you? Are ghosts real? Regale us with your own spiritual encounters if you've had any!
  Paul: When I was younger, I dabbled in occultism: seances, automatic writing, Tarot cards, transcendental meditation, etc. I used to believe in ghosts and was at one point convinced that I had actually seen and interacted with a few, but that was just the prelude to a full-on psychotic episode brought on by a combination of not eating, not sleeping, and intense grieving over the death of a close friend. Not a fun time. TL;DR version: sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, and ghosts aren't real.
  Jared: I can’t say I’ve ever really had any experiences with ghosts, spirits, or what have you. So, I’m not going to sit here and say they aren’t real, but I just don’t know. Plus, I try not to mess around with things that are spooky in general, so ghosts, if you’re out there, we don’t have to cross paths if necessary.
  Kara: Oh, fine, I’ll pop the seal, I guess. I went to a very old college. Declared majors could use their student IDs to get into the main building for their major 24 hours a day, so I’d abuse the privilege to take my gaming group into the English building for game night. The college has about 75 ghost stories, with the English department’s concerning a student who threw herself out the window of the third-floor study lounge (now classrooms and offices) after an especially bad year. You know the kind of story—she’d allegedly haunt happy students with good grades because she resented them. One night we’re in a second floor classroom playing whatever it was we were playing at the time. Something cracked us up enough that all of us started laughing, and a few seconds later every door on the floor above us slammed one after the other in rapid succession. I’m sure there’s some sort of explanation for it (wind, other students playing a prank), but we started gaming elsewhere regardless. 
  Noelle: I’m a little conflicted, because I haven’t had any supernatural experiences myself, but considering that I’ve been raised on a mix of Shinto-Buddhist and Christian beliefs, I do somewhat believe that supernatural phenomena is out there. It’s just normal to me to think that maybe there is something beyond science, that something spiritual could actually exist (also denying it and denying that many people take comfort in the existence of the supernatural feels kind of like overstepping my boundaries). Even if I’ve never seen a ghost, it would be pretty cool to see one. 
  David: My grandfather has had a life-sized harlequin doll for as long as I can remember, and it has always creeped me out. It’s placed in his room in such a way that when I go up the stairs to my room, I am forced to see it every single time, even at night because he leaves the TV on when he sleeps. Last week it was about 3 in the morning and I was coming upstairs with a late night snack, and as soon as I got to the top of the stairs and looked at the doll the TV flashed a bright white and I couldn’t see the doll anymore, but the sound on the TV was still going. I’m sure there’s a real explanation for this but some part of me believes the doll turned off the TV so I couldn’t see it moving.
  Carolyn: Yes. They are real. Really-real real. I had one friend who was part of a Rocky Horror cast that just about everyone had a story about some weird encounter connected to him in some way. I didn’t believe it for a second, but one day I was showering and a wind-up baby doll I had as a kid started playing music. It had stringy yarn hair, which was the part that made me rethink my skepticism of everyone else’s stories. A yarn wig had spawned a kind of inside joke between him and I. That being said, I have a lot of reasons I personally believe that witchcraft/spiritualism/religion are a psychological means of coping with stress and trauma. But ghosts are totally real.
  Danni: Nah.
  Kevin: I’ve never encountered a ghost, and if pressed into picking a side, would probably say that they don’t exist. If definitive scientific evidence comes out though, I’ll switch sides in a heartbeat. 
    Enough about the supernatural, because this set of episodes ended with a mission starring Naruto and Choji, AKA The Hungry Boiz™ (feat. Sakura). Did this need the tired “Are you a bad enough dude to rescue my daughter?” setup, or would you have been perfectly happy with The Hungry Boiz™ Ramen Roundup Noodle Spectacular®? 
  Paul: Ayame being kidnapped felt like a superfluous detail, and the concluding fat-phobic joke (complete with piggy squealing sound effects) dampened my enjoyment of the episode. Naruto and Choji don't need a reason to get worked up over ramen, and a Ninja Chef cooking competition is compelling enough without adding an abduction subplot. Naruto and company using their combat techniques to knead noodles is more than enough for me.
  Jared: It absolutely didn’t need the setup of having to save Ayame. If you take that out and the weird fat shaming near the end and instead make this into basically a cooking reality show episode, it would’ve been great. Ninja Chef is a fun and dumb concept and you don’t need to make it so there’s a conflict in order to introduce them or give Naruto and company a reason to go after them. Just have the ramen place sponsor a cooking competition with the Ninja Chefs and split everyone into teams and have at it.
  Kara: I don’t need a reason for Naruto to suddenly become a food reaction anime, and “ninja ramen making” came at least 150 episodes later than I was expecting. Also you know this entire episode came about solely because someone was proud of the “ryo-nin” pun. I was all in until the very end so basically that didn’t exist and Team Nart won, the end.
  Noelle: Just stick to one plotline at a time, Naruto filler. I’d gladly watch a food cooking competition instead of oh no my random daughter is now the crux of an issue. 
  David: I had all but forgotten what the point of the whole competition was until the terrible ‘twist’ at the end, so overall it was entertaining and definitely didn’t need that bit of motivation.
  Carolyn: Ha! You keep hitting my notes on the head with a ginormous hammer. I was very happy to see ramen front and center again.
  Danni: This episode made me want to get ramen, and I can actually go get ramen for lunch as soon as I’m done here, so the episode has justified itself already in my opinion. 
  Kevin: This is the kind of insane setup that I honestly always forget I love about this show. Sure, the dramatic moments can be great and the combat can be downright spectacular, but seeing a team of ninjas use legendary and superhuman techniques to make ramen noodles is just fun. As for the setup itself, I can go either way. Just an in-shop “Naruto tries to help ramen guy make a new recipe” would’ve worked just as much as what the show actually ended up doing.
  (SIDE NOTE: As evidenced below, Danni did indeed go get ramen after this)
    And now it's highs and lows time! What was your favorite aspect of this set of episodes, and what was just the absolute paranormal pits? 
  Paul: My favorite element was how Hoki and the Wandering Ninja claimed to be stealing techniques from other clans, but really they were just using a combination of Genjutsu and sleight of hand to trick people into thinking they had replicated powerful Ninjutsu techniques. I really dug that every visually impressive move turned out to be a dime-store imitation. Honorable mention goes to Naruto hitting noodle dough with a Rasengan. My least favorite bit was “too fat / too skinny” gags at the end of Episode 168, and I wish there were a more elegant way to localize the “aku no recipe” joke as well.
  Jared: Naruto coming up with the idea to just use everyone’s jutsu to make noodles was pretty good. I found it very funny that they titled an episode “The Death of Naruto” in the midst of this filler and expected people to buy that. Low points would be just how easy it was to deduce the twist in Land of Birds and how they kind of ruined the last episode we watched with bad jokes at the end, which they’ve done quite a bit on these one-off episodes.
  Kara: High point was the ramen-making sequence itself, especially Naruto deliberately cheesing Sakura off to get her “cha” on for the dough-pounding. Low point was what came right after. Special honorable mention goes to the ED going from “smol ninja being happy” to “everyone’s a dog now.”
  Noelle: The ramen-making scenes! It’s just fun to see how ninjutsu can work in doing relatively mundane things. Bad side, some of this humor is very deliberately dated. Come on. 
  David: My high point was actually Tenten and Neji getting some much needed screentime, even if it’s in filler. They’re good characters and it reminded me of the Rock Lee spinoff show that I highly recommend if you’re fond of the side characters in Naruto. As seems common, my low point was the very end of the otherwise pretty amusing food episode.
  Carolyn: High point was definitely the Scooby Gang arc. Low point, I’m not sure anything necessarily stands out this time other than generally not being interested in many of the new characters. Also, I was very confused by the dog ED and some of those poses were … interesting. Actually, I take that back, the pig noises were my low point.
  Danni: My high point was most of the Land of Birds arc. It wasn’t spectacular, but it was surprisingly compelling as far as Naruto filler goes. The low point was the sudden cacophony of fat jokes and “women love to diet” jokes shoved into the ramen episode at the end. Ramen’s good, yo. Eat as much as you want. If you’ll excuse me I’m about to go have some now.
  Kevin: 
High - Naruto fighting in a straightjacket. One of the best ways to make fight scenes more interesting is to throw in some new variable for either side to deal with, be it terrain, a handicap or a new powerup or some kind. Seeing Naruto need to fight while essentially being unable to fight back or use jutsu was probably the most engaged I was throughout the majority of the arc.
Low - Chishima in the last act of the arc. He gets hit once or twice by shuriken (thrown by the ninja equivalent of Storm Troopers, given how many they threw at him), and he is so egregiously injured that he’s on a medical bed with IVs giving him blood. Why is he so hurt?! Give him a bandage and maybe some pain killers and he shouldn't be having any problems at all! And if he’s more seriously injured, show it as more than a shoulder cut!
COUNTERS: Bowls of Ramen: 121 bowls “I'm Gonna be Hokage!”: 0 Shadow Clones Created: 26 + 2 uncountable scenes Total so far: Bowls of Ramen: 171 bowls, 9 cups “I'm Gonna be Hokage!”: 55 Shadow Clones Created: 661
And that’s it for this week! Remember that you’re always welcome to watch along with the Rewatch, especially if you’ve never seen the original Naruto! Watch Naruto today!
Here’s our upcoming schedule: - Next week, DANNI WILMOTH gets nautical in the Land of the Seas! - July 12th, JARED CLEMONS leads us to the Hidden Village of Star! - July 18th, JOSEPH LUSTER is back to continue the Star Guard mission!
  CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH!
Episodes 155 - 161: Quickfire Curry
Epsiodes 148 - 154: The Forest is Abuzz With Ninjas
Episodes 141-147: Mizuki Strikes Back!
Episodes 134-140: The Climactic Clash
Episodes 127-133: Naruto vs Sasuke
Episodes 120-126: The Sand Siblings Return
Episodes 113-119: Operation Rescue Sasuke
Episodes 106-112: Sasuke Goes Rogue
Episodes 99-105: Trouble in the Land of Tea
Episodes 92-98: Clash of the Sannin
Episodes 85-91: A Life-Changing Decision
Episodes 78-84: The Fall of a Legend
Episodes 71-77: Sands of Sorrow
Episodes 64-70: Crashing the Chunin Exam
Episodes 57-63: Family Feud
Episodes 50-56: Rock Lee Rally
Episodes 43-49: The Gate
Episodes 36-42: Through the Woods
Episodes 29-35: Sakura Unleashed
Episodes 22-28: Chunin Exams Kickoff
Episodes 15-21: Leaving the Land of Waves
Episodes 8-14: Beginners' Battle
Episodes 1-7: I'm Gonna Be the Hokage!
  Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!
  Have anything to say about our thoughts on Episodes 162-168? Let us know in the comments! Don't forget, we're also accepting questions and comments for next week, so don't be shy and feel free to ask away!
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Joseph Luster is the Games and Web editor at Otaku USA Magazine. You can read his webcomic, BIG DUMB FIGHTING IDIOTS at subhumanzoids. Follow him on Twitter @Moldilox. 
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