.

David ghosted Matteo repeatedly and for several days. Did we forget how he sent him a really harsh text and stayed away for 14 days, all while Matteo was spiraling into depression? I can’t remember people bitching about him then as they do now about Matteo. They mostly felt sorry for him. If David didn’t accept that Matteo needs some time now, it would just make him look like a giant hypocrite.

(why are you sending this to me)

imsorry but these are COMPLETELY different situations. i feel very sorry formatteo that he’s been pushed away like that, it’s very unfair and he didn’t deservethat at all. but there is no way i would actually antagonize david for thatbecause i am in possession of thing called empathy. david had very, very goodreasons to stay away from matteo. we don’t quite know what happened to him, buthim changing schools right before abi exams and his living situation suggestthat he has been through quite some shit because he is trans. he changedschools because he needed to be in an environment where he could just existwithout having to justify his fucking existence to a bunch of entitledassholes. it’s very clear how important it was to him that nobody knew abouthim being trans, so he could get through the last few months of school withoutany unnecessary (and negative) attention.

unlike even (who I’m not blaming for anything, this isjust a comparison to make things clearer) he never promised matteo any kind ofrelationship and his first text to him wasn’t actually that bad. he decidedthat if he continued with this relationship (which is what matteo very cleary wanted), he would eventually have to tellmatteo about him being trans and he wasn’t comfortable with that. that is veryunderstandable and 100% justified, considering the transphobia he’s probablyfaced and will face again if he gets outed. 

of course that text hurt like a motherfucker formatteo, because he was with david and he’s not stupid, he could tell that davidreally, really liked him and he didn’t understand why he would push him awaylike that. which is why he went to davids house. david panicked bc 1. he’s notvery good at resisting matteo and 2. matteo came to demand an explanation thathe was not ready to give. so he sent a text that he knew would push him away.no it’s not fair to matteo but none of this is fair to david either. if youknow this there is literally no reason to be angry at david. this situationsucks for both of them.

NOW david finally put all of his cards on the table.he took a Huge. Fucking. Risk. just because he likes Matteo so much. listen. heturned his entire life around so he could exist somewhere where people wouldn’tknow he’s trans, so he wouldn’t have to face any bullshit anymore AND THEN HEGOES AND TELLS SOMEONE ANYWAY. i mean sure, he knows matteo and trusts him to adegree but he literally just gave him the power to destroy the new life that hebuild for himself. that is huge. please just take a second to think how scarythat must be for him. we KNOW how hard it is for david to open up and again,his reasons are very, very valid. 

and then matteo lets him walk out the door. he ignoreshim for like 4 days and doesn’t text him anything. his silence says “i’msorry i have to get over this first, but also you don’t know if i will get overthis at all.” what the fuck. david shouldn’t have to feel like his transness issomething that matteo needs to overcome, because it isn’t. he deserves to beloved and accepted immediately, without question. he doesn’t deserve to thinkfor several days, that matteo might reject and break up with him just becausehe is trans. he deserves to be angry at the world and at matteo, that himouting himself is “a bomb to drop on someone”. that it is a shock,something to process, something to think about first (for four fucking days, orprobably an entire week). david is just david and when he tells people aboutwho he is they need to work on accepting him first and he’s just supposed totake that in stride because “oh, its normal to be confused”. 

and yeah!! in our shit world i guess it is normal tobe confused. i guess on some level i understand that matteo needs time and thatis fine. he needs to understand first and that is what it is. but that doesn’terase the fact that hes hurting david and in this scenario his reasons aren’tvery good. his reason is that he’s a giant, uneducated dumbass. i’m pretty surei don’t agree with a lot of the writing decisions being made right now (we’llsee when this is all over), but ok! sure! matteo is scared of fucking thingsup, confused about his sexuality and his feelings for david. he gets to feelthat way. but david also gets to feel rejected, betrayed and hurt because onceagain he has to wait for people to fucking….. get over his transness beforethey can love him.

david can accept that people are shitty and thatmatteo needs time and at the same time he can be angry and frustrated thatmatteo IS leaving him hanging and making him feel like there is something wrongwith him. im not saying he should reject matteo forever and never forgive himbut it’s just not fair that he has to be patient, kind and accepting when he’sbeing treated like this.

ANYWAAAAYS, go do yourself a favor and look at thispost and go follow some people who can tell you about what it’s like to betrans way better than i ever could (but like. just listen and pls dont harass them lol)