#and while things aren’t perfect. i lost one of my childhood pets in april and my father’s *officially* abandoned me
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like 16 people have told me happy birthday and i’m ngl i’ve been tearing up over it
#not to sound depressing— but my last several birthdays have been so shitty#there’s been a disaster or some bad event overshadowing it#my 18th bday was ruined by my father being an asshole and extended family needing help#my 19th bday was ruined by some extended family moving in for an emergency and the rest of the extended fam doing some horrible stuff#i know it sounds selfish to want a perfect day y’know but i’ve felt so lonely these past few years#i’ve developed such severe anxiety in the past month because i’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop#and while things aren’t perfect. i lost one of my childhood pets in april and my father’s *officially* abandoned me#and my relationship with my extended family is still very poor#it’s only 4am and this is already a far better birthday than i expected#everyone’s been so sweet and the birthday wishes have meant so much to me#and i’m even getting gifts from mutuals and friends 😭#i just. agh. it’s so much and i’m so happy#desperately trying not to cry LMAO
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