#and then santana kinda tried to bring brittany in. kind of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaceorphan18 · 3 years

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I read with interest your view and that of @hopefulobjectmiracle about tumblr Klaine fandom. Is there more shipping these days than 2010-15? I ask because there seems to be a smaller group that only ship Kurt with Blaine but there seems to be a huge rise in Kurtbastian and Hevans shippers. Likewise, there’s many more pezberry or faberry shippers. And a lot more of those shippers trying to discredit Blaine or Brittany as OTP for Kurt and Santana. There seems to be new younger people joining Tumblr declaring a love for all things Klaine, and then a week later shipping Kurt with everybody else!! Has there been a change since the show aired?

Hi Nonny! :)

Hmmm.... There's not really a clear answer to this because the way shipping evolved is different than people just finding things now.

There are kind of two different things going on here -- Kurt related shipping and non-Kurt (blaine/klaine) shipping. I can't tell you much about non related Kurt things -- however, I will say that Faberry was HUGE when the show was on. It's a subsection of the fandom I never interacted with but it was around in season 1, and loud enough that the show makes nod to it from season 2 forward. Brittana was always around, too, and the reason Brittana became a thing on the show was, partly, due to fans crying out that they should be a couple -- and more than the throwaway joke the writers made in the first season.

I don't know what happened to those ships over time, or how the evolved since the show ended -- I'm sorry :/

But now, I will tell you the epic history of Kurt shipping. (Again. i should really dig out my old notes on this, lol)

Here we go long post...

I found it! I'm going to quote myself so I don't have to write it out again, lol. This was originally from an ask about the BBO (Better Boyfriend Olympics), but it'll work here, too.

Okay, so let’s go back to 2010 when there wasn’t a Klaine fandom, there was a Kurt fandom. A lot of the BBO stemmed out of the Kurt’s Boyfriend Shipping wars of 2010.

Back then, there was just a Kurt fandom, and a lot of opinions about who he should date. Believe it or not, Kurt was shipped a lot with the other guys on the show, there was a healthy dose of Kurt/Finn, but Kurt/Puck was huge, and there was a smattering of Kurt/Mike (I never really did see much Kurt/Artie now that I think of it, which is kind of funny in retrospect, but I’m sure it’s out there.) Anyway - when the show announced Kurt was getting a boyfriend – well, things began to get heated up.

Three big ships emerged

Kurt/Sam - because the rumor was that Sam was originally supposed to be Kurt’s bf (probably not, but that rumor was big at the time). Btw, they were the canoe ship (I have no idea why) and was also known as Kum (rolls-eyes). This ship’s fanbase was so huge and lasted so long, that the show felt the need to address it head on in Season Two’s Rumours (not a joke).

Kurt/Karofsky - Also known as Kurtofsky, they were also called themselves the Pirate ship (god, Idk why, shipping wars are weird, yo). These people were also really passionate, mostly about Dave, but liked the whole idea that Kurt would save Dave and they would have this weird - enemies to loves love affair or something. I don’t know, I could never get past the squicky assault aspect, but whatever.

Kurt/Blaine - which. at the time, was… the biggest possibility? It’s funny cause the other two ships were just as big as the Klaine ship, and really the fighting became over who was going to be the best option for Kurt.

And that’s the thing. Fans of Kurt were so passionate about who was best for Kurt, because everyone had seen him go through hell and back on the show, so his boyfriend needed to be perfect for him. And you know who was perfect (at first) – Blaine. More on that in a second…

However, Blaine brought his own bit of baggage – namely fans of Darren Criss (and/or Starkid fans). Unlike Chord Overstreet or Max Adler, people knew who Darren was before he was on Glee. So his own fandom joined in on the Klaine of it all. At first it was all fine – as the shipping wars continued, it was less about Kurt vs Blaine and more about Klaine vs the other shippers. Well, that was going to change….

Original Song happened and Kurt and Blaine got together ending the question of who would ultimately be Kurt’s boyfriend. And things were nice and cozy headed into season 3. You’d think the Kurt/Sam and Kurt/Karofsky ships would die out, but not really, they stuck around for a long time, and kinda morphed into something else.

See, The First Time happened. And for the first time Blaine wasn’t the perfect prince that he was in season 2 – he had more of a developed personality, and more flaws. And… some people didn’t like it. (Also added to the mix was Sebastian – and the Seblaine and Kurtbastian ships were born, but those kinda go off on their own thing and I’m not really going to bring them up much here.) Anyway, what really got fandom split was Dance With Somebody.

You had two sides of an argument, people who saw Kurt’s POV and people who saw Blaine’s POV – and guess what happened. The two sides began to fight with each other over who was “right” in the argument. (My god…) And thus started what fandom started referring to as The Better Boyfriend Olympics.

See - for reasons I don’t fully understand - instead of seeing that each of the boys have a fault and each were wrong in the episode, each side wanted to say that their side, and their POV was the correct way – that one boyfriend was more oppressed and the other was not as good a partner.

On the Kurt side, though, you had a lot of the old Kurt fans and ships who didn’t like Blaine (and/or didn’t want Blaine as his partner) so they vehemently decided that unless Blaine was the perfect boyfriend again, he didn’t deserve to be with Kurt. Meanwhile, you had the Blaine fans, many of them Darren fans who wanted Blaine to have more depth to him than just being Kurt’s boyfriend, and not being Kurt fans first (or originally) they were going to push back at the Kurt fans who were lashing out at Blaine.

Compounding this was the fact that during season 3, there were so many cast members and characters that unless you were Finchel, you were begging for scraps and your featured episode to come along. Meanwhile - Kurt got a ton of screen time, but didn’t sing much, while Blaine sang a lot more, but didn’t get much story. The Kurt fans resented that Blaine was always singing. The Blaine fans were annoyed that the Kurt fans resented it, and tried to remind the Kurt fans that Blaine barely got any development.

Either way, a war had begun. And then The Break Up happened.

Now Kurt fans had a specific reason to point at – Blaine being a terrible boyfriend. He cheated. He’s terrible. The end.

The fandom was not firmly split into sides - you were either a Kurt fan - a lot of them who HATED Blaine - partly because he was getting more attention at the time, partly cause he did sing more, partly because they were made up of Kurt ships that didn’t work out, and partly cause they saw so much of themselves in Kurt that they projected onto him their own feelings, and loving Blaine was not a part of that projection. Or you were a Blaine fan - who spent a lot of time defending Blaine to the point of exhaustion, and became so resentful of Kurt that they wished Blaine could be with anyone else because Kurt (fans) didn’t understand Blaine and should just stop trying.

Weren’t there any Klainers you ask? Ha, well…. Klainers, people actually liked Kurt AND Blaine were stereotyped into two categories. Category A) the really really loud fanbase (usually on Twitter) that harassed the creators, RM, Chris, Darren, various crew about Klaine every second that they got – to the point that it started to feel embarrassing (that’s probably my own projection). Category B) People who thought (think) that Chris and Darren were (are) in a secret relationship. (Spoiler alert they aren’t, never have been, and never will be.) The two of these categories overlapped A LOT, and many of the fans of one boy or the other just disassociated completely.

You could still be a fan of the Klaine relationship, but you had a preference to which boy you were actually a fan of – you couldn’t like both, or else you were a Klainer, and that was not cool. (I spent a long time NOT identifying as anything, and trying to make sure everything I did and said was equal – a) cause I was new to fandom and b) cause I hated that either one or the other of these characters were villainized so frequently.)

Anyway - Season 4 continued. Adam showed up, and Kurt fans got all excited, but the problem was that a lot of them saw him as the perfect boyfriend again – not a real character but a prop that could make Kurt look good and be everything for Kurt. Look, I liked Adam, I did, but he was underdeveloped, and this weird idea that your boyfriend needs to be perfect in order to be a functioning relationship is just unrealistic. I digress. Meanwhile, we didn’t get a lot of Kurt POV, which didn’t help things, and meant even more projection over his character.

Meanwhile, the Blaine fans had formed their own community, which became viciously defensive of him. I think the whole fandom was toxic during this time for a lot of reasons, and I really wanted to quit it. Many people did – the show wasn’t being fun anymore.

Season 5 came along, the boys got back together, tempers simmered, but the whole idea of the Better Boyfriend Olympics came back every time a conflict happened. Arguments about who was the better boyfriend ensued, gatekeeping as to why their pick was best and why your opinion sucked still ran through the fandom. Not helping was the fact that Cory had died, and the creators, actors, and crew – as well as media – was tired of Glee.

The one nice thing, though was that a lot of the old crowd had moved on by then, and there was an influx of newer people coming in during season 5 (and season 6) – they weren’t here for the season 3 droughts and season 4 wars, and brought in a newer and fresher perspective.

But still - we had the end of season 5 and the summer of spoilers and season 6 to get through. At this point, the Kurt and Blaine camps had moved to their parts of the internet and really not speaking much to each other if they could help it. When an argument happened on the show, the same kind of Better Boyfriend Olympics came up again – one boyfriend was worse than the other, and unless they changed xyz they were not good enough for the other. But at this point, it was incredibly tiring. I know that I was just ready for the show to be done with.

I should say, as an aside, not helping things were the rise of some rather vocal BNF-ish fans, who dug their heels in about their own opinions. The refusal to even acknowledge that one side or the other might be right, or have valid points was not helping anything. A lot of people on both sides refused to even listen to the points on the other side – and instead of being frustrated at the show, the creators, or whatever, they took it against each other, which wasn’t fun to watch either.

Season 6 happened - Blainofsky happened, and that killed enthusiasm for the season on both sides, most people just kind of wanted it to be over. And then the ending came quickly, and I think a lot of people who were just plain unhappy about everything left for good.

The Better Boyfriend Olympics, or this weird competition that always pitted the boys and their fandoms against each other in the name of one being better than the other, leveled off after this. I won’t give myself /that/ much credit - but one reason I created @todaydreambelievers was to give fans of both Kurt and Blaine a safe place where we could enjoy and discuss both boys without the BBO rearing its head. And you know what – it did mend a few hearts.

For the most part, it’s been pretty quiet since. Fandom is quieter, but I think the people who have come into it after the show has ended are a lot less judgmental and argumentative. (I suppose it helps if you know how the story is going to end.) And the cool thing, for me, is finding a group of people who enjoy Kurt and Blaine equally (or respectfully) – and reclaiming the name Klainer as a good thing.

I’ll end by saying this – it’s been relatively peaceful, even with the influx of new people throughout the years, but I have been seeing shades of BBO pop up again. Look, you don’t have to like Klaine to be a fan of one or the other of them. But there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world, a lot of things to be angry and get indignant about. How a fictional couple was written ten years ago is not one of them. Be respectful of people, and know that maybe the side you understand better isn’t the only side worth listening to. ;)

////////////////////

So, I suppose that's part 1 of this full picture. Onto Part 2.

Here's the thing -- I've stayed, mostly, in my little tumblr buble over the past five years -- blissfully unaware that I suppose things were going on around me. Except... they really weren't. Until the pandemic happened, and Glee went to Netflix internationally, and a whole bunch of young kids grew up and started watching the show.

By the time I ended TDB in 2019, there weren't many of us left. I knew there was our small, dedicated group of fans. The tinhatters (the group who thought Chris and Darren were in some kind of relationship. spoiler alert -- they're not). And I know the Kurtbastian fans have been kicking around for a while. But no one was around in huge numbers.

And then boom - pandemic, and I'm shocked (not in a bad way) that this show has already seen a resurgence. The weirdest part, for me, is the fact that not only is history repeating itself -- seriously, people are bringing up old conflicts that have been dead for ages, and old shipping wars I never thought I'd see again -- but I think this new group's relationship with the show is much different.

I think that Kurt is a character whom a lot of people can still identify with. And because he's on his own in the first season, it's still easy to project yourself onto him. And then shipping goes from there. Blaine went from being the exciting option, omg are they really gonna do Klaine?? to -- hey Klaine is the boring canon choice, we can choose who we want for Kurt.

Layer over that years of Blaine hate still circling the interwebs. The echo chamber that Twitter and Tiktok create. And the fact that neither Chris or Darren seem to have the army of fans they once did (well -- Darren does, but they don't really watch Glee anymore). And you get this varied landscape of shipping.

No, some days it doesn't feel that different from the BBO days. The fact that I still get asks about Blaine and TFT car scene or Tested makes me feel like I'm back in 2013. Other times I'm perplexed by resurgences -- such as Kurtbasitan and Kurt/Sam. (Please don't bring back Kurtofsky guys)

But there's a saying -- Same Shit, Different Day.

I think there is an entirely different group of people than the original people watching, and their reasoning for shipping whatever is much different. But they've certainly come to a lot of the same conclusions that brought about the shipping wars in the early days.

At the end of the day - I think Kurt will always been a fandom mattress. But ship what you like and be nice to everyone else. There's enough hate in the world -- no need to dump on people's escapism.

#that's how s.o. sees it #klaine history #klaine #and fandom #did I answer the question?#idk

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nnightskiess · 4 years

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santana lopez imagine

i kinda combined two requests together bc i thought they’d fit well!

a/n: this is for u elena. sorry you had to wait so long♡

also, i wanted to try and show that soft and nervous side of santana that came out at the beginning with dani, so i’m sorry if it feels out of character sometimes. (i did my best lol)

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.”

Y/N was having lunch with her friends from back home. It had been hard to keep in touch with them now that she had been living in New York for over a year. Not that she’d complain, since she gained multiple new friends and... well, a relationship. And not with just anyone— with Santana Lopez, whose singing career skyrocketed after a duet on Mercedes Jones’ album. She got a record deal a month after and her first EP was a hit. She went on tour with her first album but had vanished off the face of the earth after her very public breakup with her high school girlfriend and her backup dancer, Brittany S. Pierce. She stopped posting on social media, she wasn’t spotted by paparazzi anymore and her plans for a second album were now off the table. It was clear to everyone that the breakup had broken the girl. That was until she walked into the diner she used to work at and locked eyes with Y/N. Santana didn’t want to fall in love with anyone else and wasn’t completely over Brittany, so it wasn’t love at first sight.

But the moment Y/N stole the show while taking the lead singing Shout by The Trammps, she knew there was something special about the girl. Was it her voice that Santana’s mind went to when she lied in bed that night? Or the twinkle in her eyes when she sang? Or perhaps the way her smile widened a tad bit more when she looked at Santana?

Santana found herself go back to the diner on days where she’d rather sit in bed and cry. She’d forget her sorrow in moments they locked eyes but could cry again when Y/N wasn’t working that day.

Santana had taken her notebook with her, the one she would never let anyone read— well, except for Brittany. It’s where most of her songs were born and where her most delicate and vulnerable thoughts were being kept. She’d never been too keen on sharing emotions with everyone, so writing them down was a great alternative.

“I normally wouldn’t ask, but I’ve seen you here with that notebook now at least a couple of times... Are you writing a book?”

Santana’s head shot up. Y/N was standing next to her table, wiping her hands onto her apron.

Santana cracked a soft smile, “No—actually, I’m writing songs... a song... well, trying to, at least. My label wants-” She swallowed her sentence, she didn’t want this girl to know about any of that drama.

Y/N seemed to ignore it.

“You sing?”

Santana nodded but furrowed her eyebrows when Y/N sat down in front of her. “Go on, then. Let me hear what you’ve got so far.”

“Oh, no no no-”

Y/N pursed her lips, “Did it happen not too long ago?” she asked after a couple of seconds of Santana trying to get out of this situation.

She rose her eyebrows, unsure of how Y/N read the situation so well,

“It’s actually been a while but it still hurts.” She caught herself confessing.

“Then I won’t pry. I’ll leave you to it.” Y/N slid out of the booth, “Oh, and— I happen to know that our strawberry milkshake is the best medicine to heartbreak. It’s on me.”

“Thanks...” Santana watched her leave into the kitchen and immediately rubbed her temples when the girl left her sight. No, no, no, no. Not again. But wasn’t this exactly the reason she had started visiting the diner more and more? To spike up a conversation with the girl? She cursed at herself, stood up, grabbed her stuff and left the diner. She wasn’t ready yet. She could take the short glances and attention, but that was the line. The only woman she had truly trusted was no longer with her, she couldn’t open up to anyone again.

Through the window of the diner she could see the girl with a disappointed expression on her face the moment she realised Santana had left. But Santana didn’t turn around and kept walking.

✫彡

“Okay, stop crushing my spirit. I wanted a nice dinner with you.”

“Then you should’ve just asked Berry over for dinner. I’m sure she’d tell you all about her awfully cheerful day.”

Kurt put his hand on Santana’s so that she would stop playing with her food. She glared at him.

“You can glare at me all you want, but we’re not going to brush things under the carpet. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Santana dropped her cutlery and sat back, crossing her arms. “We’re not talking about Britt again. You want to help me move on? Then fucking stop bringing it up.”

“No, not that. There’s something else. I can sense it.”

“Since when do you have a Mexican third eye as well?”

“Off topic.” Kurt waved her off. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Santana lowered her head and slightly looked up at him, trying to decide wether to share or not.

“Is the label pressuring you?” He tried.

Santana sighed, “Well, yes, that too.”

Kurt waited patiently for Santana to feel comfortable enough to share the rest.

“They were okay with delaying the start of my second album but now they’re starting to breathe down my neck. They say it’s been long enough and that i’m just deadweight they have to pay but get nothing in return for, which is fair— but still. I’m only human, I’m not some super song-writing machine like Mercedes.”

“I thought you loved writing songs?”

“Yeah... when I had Brittany.” Santana looked at her lap and started playing with her hands. “Now that I don’t have her... I can’t seem to even write one sentence... and when I do, they’re all just too gloomy or depressing.”

Kurt nodded in understanding. “Well, Adele wrote one whole album about her breakup which sold like Wonka bars. Who says you can’t?”

Santana shook her head, “You don’t get it. I don’t want to sing about her anymore, even though it might help me move on. But the thing is...” she bit her lip, “I can’t. I don’t want to.”

“Then write about how you can’t write. Write about how you want to feel instead of feeling like your heart has been ripped out. Write about conquering this heartbreak, like a powerful song?”

“How?” Santana looked up, tears in her eyes.

“By remembering who you were before.”

“But I’ve been with Britt for as long as I-”

Kurt shook his head and waved his hands around, “No, think of the Santana in high school. You were fierce, strong, not afraid to speak your mind but you also had a big heart. You didn’t want to show it often but we all knew yours was just as big, if not bigger, as ours. Remember how it felt every time you got a solo and when you stood on the stage? Write about that feeling. Write about feeling on top of the world again.”

“Thanks, Hummel.”

He smiled at her and squeezed her hands, “Anytime. Now eat before it gets cold. I didn’t spend two hours in the kitchen for nothing.”

✫彡

Santana walked out off the apartment she had rented after her breakup with Brittany and crossed the street. She needed some fresh air and a distraction from her song-writing. Spring was around the corner but it was still very chilly in the big city, so she held the collar of her coat while walking through the tiny park close to her block. She started humming the melody she’d just come up with. Something just didn’t feel right yet.

Santana saw people look at her as they passed by but hoped that the big sunglasses on her face would keep them guessing of her identity. No matter how much she loved the attention from her fans, she sometimes just wanted to be normal and not have to pose for selfies every damn day.

“Hey, you!”

She sighed and stopped to turn around since she’d look like a real ass if she didn’t. She half expected to be met with a group of teenage girls with their phones ready to snap a picture, but instead she locked eyes with the girl from the diner.

“I think you dropped this.”

The girl apparently didn’t seem to recognise her thanks to the shades, and she handed her a crumbled piece of paper.

“Oh— um, thanks.” Santana gave her a tight-lipped smile. She stared back at the girl.

“I know you.” (weren’t you in a movie with my sister? lmao sorry i had to, let’s continue)

Oh, no. The girl couldn’t find out that Santana was the woman who had basically stood her up after their talk in that diner.

She let out a breathy chuckle, “Do you?”

“Yeah, you look familiar.” Something in Santana hoped that the girl recognised her for being a celebrity, not for what happened a week ago.

Y/N shamelessly looked her up and down before snapping her finger.

“Milkshake girl. I recognise your voice.”

Santana smiled awkwardly. Great, now she definitely looked like a douche.

“Sorry about that, by the way... I-”

“No need to apologise. I probably came on too strong, sorry for giving you the wrong impression. I only wanted to cheer you up.” She smiled back, “It’s a shame though, it was a great milkshake.”

Santana’s expression softened, relieved at how well the girl had taken it.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you again after that... You used to come in every few days. Is it my fault? Gunther would kill me if I lost him a customer. Wait— Don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.”

Santana smiled and removed her glasses.

“If he ever gets mad at you, just give him a box of Yeast-I-Stat. That’ll pretty much shut him up.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, “How do you-”

“I worked there for a long time when I first moved to New York.” Santana shrugged, “I was pretty desperate for any kind of job when I landed that commercial.”

“Oh my God, you’re the Yeast-I-Stat girl!? I knew I recognised you from somewhere else, too.” The girl gasped, “I like yeast in my bagel... but not in my muffin.” She mocked and laughed afterwards.

“Oh, shut up, will you?” Santana shook her head in amusement, kinda glad those days were over.

“Is that really what you know me of?”

“Yeah, what else should I know you of? Any other embarrassing first-job commercials I should know about?”

Santana was about to mention her career but stopped herself. Clean slate. She wasn’t a celebrity in her private life. Besides, she didn’t want the girl to think she was bragging.

“No... thank God.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds before smiling.

“I’m Y/N.” She held out her hand for Santana to shake.

“Santana.”

Y/N smiled at her with the most adorable smile ever. Santana didn’t miss the twinkle in her eyes.

She blinked a few times before shaking her head, “So, yeah. I should get going.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I have to go, too...”

“Bye...”

Santana waved softly as the girl turned around and walked off.

Clean slate, Santana.

✫彡

“They’re doing a Gloria Estefan night at the Spotlight Diner. We should totally go.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but that sounds out of character for the diner.” Rachel shrugged.

“I guess they finally had a cultural awakening.” Santana was mindlessly scrolling through her phone. “They’re probably too white to sing her Spanish songs though, bet they’re gonna butcher it.”

“So that’s a no for reserving us a table?” Kurt turned to the two.

“No, I wanna go.”

“Count me in, too. I love ‘Conga’.”

Santana rolled her eyes, “That’s the only song you know of her, isn’t it?”

“No...”

“Keep next Friday night free.”

✫彡

They walked in as ‘A Bailar’ by Gloria silently played over the speakers in the background. Santana scanned the room, shamelessly trying to find the girl she was looking for. Unfortunately, she was nowhere in sight.

Kurt waved his hand and one of the waitresses came to take their order. They talked a bit as they waited for their food. Every time Santana saw a girl in the red outfit walk by from the corner of her eyes, her head would shot up, only to be disappointed again when it wasn’t Y/N.

“Tana, stop ogling everyone. Your food’s getting jealous.” Rachel pointed at the untouched plate in front of her.

A few minutes later, their heads shot to the door as Y/N bursted through it. She quickly fixed her hair that was messed up by the wind and quickly tied a white apron around her waist. Gunther came from behind the counter. Though they couldn’t hear what he said, it was clear she was in trouble. He kept pointing his finger at her chest before snatching the apron off her waist and sending her into the back.

“Oh, I bet she’s on cleaning duty now. Remember when I got an hour late because I was held up at an audition?”

Kurt and Rachel started talking but Santana wasn’t paying attention.

Santana furrowed her eyebrows until she got a call from her PR manager. She declined and a few seconds after, she got a text.

Santana’s stomach sank and she froze. New relationship? Brittany had already moved on? Yet she still spent every day moping around, overthinking everything that had happened, unable to write any song that wasn’t about the blonde. Brittany was already giving someone else all her love? How was that fair? How was she even able to do that?

“Santana?”

“You alright?”

She snapped out of it and gave them a tightlipped, fake smile. There was no time for them to question her any further as Rachel let out a startled yelp when suddenly the first notes of ‘Conga’ blasted through the diner. The lights flickered and changed colour on the beat. Santana rolled her eyes, of course they’d start with that song.

Girls started dancing through the pathways and tried to hype everyone up. Kurt was shimmying along and Rachel was nodding her head to the beat, a big smile on her face. Santana tried to blend but she was busy biting her lip to stop herself from crying.

The percussion band on the little stage started playing ‘Cuba Libre’. A girl danced her way onto the stage and sang the Spanish verse. She was clearly hispanic since her pronunciation was great. Two girls started dancing on the counter and another helped someone up—Y/N.

‘Cuba Libra’ faded into the chorus of ‘Turn the Beat Around’ to which Y/N took the lead. Santana’s frown softened at seeing the girl perform, but she still couldn’t shake the thought of Brittany off.

Santana sank back into her seat and crossed her arms, wanting to go home and crawl into her bed and not leave it for the next couple of days. She hadn’t even realised that another song was already playing and that the girls were pulling people out of their seats to ‘Get on Your Feet’.

Y/N spotted Santana in the crowd and walked over to her, but Santana wouldn’t crack a smile. Y/N kept singing to her until she’d turn around. Kurt softly shook his head at the girl, telling her that she should leave Santana alone. But what he didn’t know, was that the girls already knew each other. Y/N noticed how Santana pursed her lips, not giving in to her.

Y/N grabbed her shoulders, bent down to her height and slowly made the girl turn.

She sang to her,

“Deep in your heart is the answer. Find it, I know it will pull you through. Get on your feet!”

She leaned over to grab Rachel and Kurt’s hands, helping them stand up. Almost everyone in the diner was up and dancing right now, except for Santana. Kurt gave her a look, telling her to suck it up.

“I think it's true that we've all been through some nasty weather,” Y/N turned to dance with one of her co-workers. She felt Santana look at her and walked back up to her. She danced around her. “Let's understand that we're here to handle things together.”

Y/N stuck out her tongue at Santana’s stoic expression, trying to break her. And it worked, Santana let out a soft chuckle and shook her head in amusement. Both Y/N and Kurt held out a hand for her to take. She rolled her eyes and stood up. The four of them danced together for a few seconds until Y/N walked back to the other girls. They ended the song on the stage, where everyone left but Y/N. They went back to eating their dinner as the next few songs would be slow and easy on the ears.

Y/N sat down on the stool next to the guitarist. He started playing the soft notes of ‘Wrapped’. Kurt and Rachel went back to eating their food but Santana was too mesmerised by the girl to engage in their conversation. The soft light that was shining down on her made her look like she was the only one in the room. And judging by the look on the girl’s face while she sang, she felt like she was the only one in the room too. She hadn’t once opened her eyes the first minute, she was just so indulged in the song.

A small smile made its way onto Santana’s face at the sight. She knew how good it felt to be so into a song that you could just forget the world around you— to find your corner of the sky. It was very obvious that Y/N felt at ease, even while performing in front of people. It was rare to see people be so clearly in love with what they were doing.

Santana grabbed her phone, opened Instagram and decided to film this moment. Y/N’s face wasn’t recognisable from the distance where Santana was filming from so she decided to just put it into her story. Everyone deserved to see this.

Was this positive and uplifting enough?

✫彡

‘What we know of Santana and Brittany’s breakup...’

‘Read what Brittany S Pierce has to say about her ex’

‘Santana’s social media silence over?’

‘Santana Lopez still in love or in love again?’

And many more headlines had been posted after that Friday. Santana got a lot of followers after her first post in over a year. She had also gotten a lot of hate, which was something she hadn’t missed. Brittany hadn’t said one bad word about their relationship or about Santana but for some reason she still received backlash. Brittany spoke so highly about Santana and all the questions were answered with respect. But Santana wasn’t surprised about that at all, that was just how Brittany was.

There were still people—mainly Brittany fans—who blamed Santana and made all kinds of crazy assumptions about what had happened.

“Just delete the app. You don’t need that kind of toxic energy around you.”

Y/N was filling the ketchup bottles while she sat in front of Santana.

How had this happened, you ask? One of Y/N’s coworkers had recognised her on Santana’s story and pointed it out to her. When Santana visited the diner again, Y/N had jokingly apologised about not knowing who she was before, to which Santana had replied,

“You knew who I was. You knew the real me. Not the celebrity or crazy hot girl from the Yeast-I-Stat commercials.”

After that, Santana made sure to come round when Y/N was done or only doing little chores.

Y/N loved that she got a new friend and Santana was glad that she finally had someone who she could start over with. Someone who didn’t know her from back in high school and someone who didn’t become friends with her solely for the fact that she was famous.

“I can’t. They want me to post at least once a week.” Santana groaned, “I don’t even know what to post. All I do is sleep, try to write and go here.”

They worked in silence for a few minutes until Y/N opened her mouth again.

“Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetables?”

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, giving her a look.

“No guesses? Well, they can’t ketchup.”

Santana snorted and shook her head. “Wow, okay. I’m going to pretend you didn’t just make an awful joke.”

“Yeah, you go do that while I bring these to the back.”

Santana watched her leave and sighed. The past week had been hell for Santana. She yearned for every little bit of attention from Y/N and her insides turned to mush whenever the girl smiled at her. But something held her back. She didn’t want to fall in love again. Not yet, not when she still held her high school sweetheart in her heart. But it was so hard to not stare at Y/N or freak out whenever she called her on the phone.

“Ready?”

Santana laughed at the huge guitar in Y/N’s hands. She seemed so small now.

“What’s that for?”

“You said you didn’t know what to post. You should post a little acoustic cover of that song I helped you finish last week?”

Santana looked at her, contemplating if she should agree or not.

“Can you even play?”

Y/N smiled sheepishly, “Only that song. I practiced the chords all week. But hey, if I mess up— just know that i’m willing to publicly embarrass myself just to help you out.”

Santana smiled at her in adoration. “Fine. Okay.”

They walked to the vacant stage and put Santana’s phone on the sheet music standard.

“Oh-I... I’ll scoot out of the frame if me being in it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Why would it make me uncomfortable?”

Y/N laughed, “People might assume we’re together after all the assumptions about you in the magazines. That would be weird.”

Santana’s expression faltered. “O-Oh...yeah.. it would...” She faked a smile.

Y/N started strumming the guitar.

(radio silence by naya rivera)

Santana closed her eyes as she started singing. It was clear to everyone that this song was about Brittany and she wasn’t ready yet to let them hear the whole song. It felt too personal to give it away just like that. Which is why they decided to do just a snippet.

She opened her eyes and looked at Y/N when one chord sounded terrible. You could hear Y/N giggle from behind the phone. Santana smiled wide and had a hard time singing without laughing. Y/N stuck out her tongue as she seemed focused on getting the next one right. Santana unintentionally looked at her longingly the last few notes but broke out of it when Y/N stopped playing.

✫彡

Should she be thanking the tabloids? No, never. However, she couldn’t deny that they had been the reason why Y/N had even brought it up.

“Do you like me?”

Santana widened her eyes.

“And I don’t mean as friends. I mean like-like. Do you like-like me?”

“I-uh, I-” Santana stammered.

“It would be really embarrassing if you didn’t, to be honest.”

Santana gave her a wary but panicked look.

“Because I do... like-like you, I mean.”

“Wow, wait— what?”

She opened and closed her mouth until she saw the honesty on Y/N’s face who let her statement linger in the air, hoping that Santana would say something. But the silence only heightened her nerves

“Santana-”

“I can’t... I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

She quickly grabbed her stuff and left the diner, just like she had done the first time.

She rushed home, biting her lip to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. The second she unlocked her front door, she let them go. Santana tried to control her sobs as she sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands.

Her safety net whenever she felt lost or emotional— Brittany — was gone, what was she supposed to do now? She let out another sob as she missed Britt’s arms holding her close.

She reached for her phone without a second thought and dialled the woman’s number. Brittany picked up after a few seconds, much to Santana’s surprise.

“Hey, um, Santana. What’s up?”

Brittany decided to break the ice, but all formalities were thrown out the window when she heard the Latina let out another sob.

“Santana, are you okay?! What’s happened? Where are you?”

Was she okay? No. But what was she supposed to tell Brittany? That it was partly because of her?

“Please, say something, Tana. I’m worried.”

Santana held the bridge of her nose and let out a big, shaky sigh.

“Please forget that I called, this was a mistake. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

She hung up. But the phone rang after a few seconds. Santana tossed it next to her on the couch and rubbed her forehead. How could she have been so stupid?

It rang again. And again, and then another three times. Santana stared at the screen long and hard before picking it up.

“Don’t shut me out, please. You know I still care about you when something’s wrong.”

Santana let out a huff and Brittany knew exactly what that meant.

“Santana, listen— I am so, so sorry for what happened. I too thought that we would be the happiest and sappiest couple forever but... some things just... happen. And I still completely understand how hard it was for you to stay friends with me without being with me and I’m so terribly sorry for that they brought you up in that interview— but I meant everything I said, Santana. You were the best thing that happened to me back then. And to me you still are my best and most incredible friend but... that’s just it.”

A long pause.

“And I kind of really miss hanging out with you and so does Lord Tubbington so if you’re comfortable with the idea, would you want to get together sometime soon? Wait— not get together-together, just... argh, you know what I mean.”

“How did you do it?” Santana broke her silence. “What changed in your mind for you to get the closure you needed? Because I never fucking got it.”

Brittany kept quiet, knowing there was more to follow.

“I have spent a whole year feeling like absolute shit, but I knew... that there was no way that we’d ever get together again. But the closure? Nope.” She furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. “And lately there’s been this incredible girl in my life and guess what? You two are fighting for first place in my head and I can’t help but want to push her out because I’m not ready to let her stay there until you are completely out of my thoughts.”

She heard Brittany let out a breath.

“Sant-”

“Oh, no, no, no. I don’t need a pity-party. I don’t-”

“Santana Lopez, listen to me.” Brittany raised her voice. “If your plan is to sabotage your own happiness, then congratulations— you’re well on your way. It’s no wonder that you’re having a hard time moving on. I mean, one— I’m a catch but two, we were together since high school, that’s a long time. We were each other’s first loves and truth be told, you never really forget those. You’ll compare every following relationship to that one, even if it was full of flaws. Truth is, you’ll never be able to move on or get the closure until you open yourself up to idea of loving someone else again. And I know how you work— you don’t ever want to open up to someone again but... if you give this girl a chance, who knows? She might be the one to change your mind. And I’ll cross my fingers she will. I hope she’ll kick me off first place like a rugby player.” Brittany snorted at her own joke.

“Because you deserve a special someone too, Santana. And if you still don’t have the closure you need... I loved you, I cared for you, and in a way I still do. But we won’t ever get together again. That ship has sailed. I want you to be happy and I want to see you flourish in every aspect of life, just... without me being your special someone. I’d still very much like to be by your side, though, but as a friend.”

Santana let the words sink in until she suddenly widened her eyes.

“I am such a fucking idiot.”

“Um... are we having the same phone call? Because I’m lost...”

“She told me she liked me and I ran out.”

“Was that metaphorically speaking or did you literally run out?”

“Like a chicken, Brittany.”

“Santana!? Be Chicken Little and run back!” Brittany exclaimed, “But watch out for the traffic, please, because that would be a tragic end to the story....and it would be animal abuse...”

Santana smiled softly, missing this side of Brittany.

“Okay, okay!” She laughed.

“Keep me posted?”

Santana hummed, “Thank you, Britt.”

“Of course. You’re still my best friend, even if we haven’t seen each other in over a year. Go get the girl.”

✫彡

Santana hesitantly walked back into the diner. It wasn’t rush hour so there were only a few people having a drink.

“See you guys tomorrow!”

Y/N walked out of the backroom and froze in her spot when she saw Santana looking at her. A tightlipped, awkward smile appeared on her face and she tried to walk passed her but Santana grabbed her hand.

“Wait, I-...I need to tell you something.”

Santana looked the girl in her eyes, seeing the anticipation and worry in them. But then she saw something else, she saw the same twinkle in her eyes when Y/N sang so beautifully that night. Only this time they were twinkling because she was looking at Santana.

She grabbed the girl’s cheek and planted a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips. Y/N widened her eyes at first but kissed back. They parted when a bell coming from the kitchen interrupted them.

“So much for needing to tell me something...” Y/N chuckled heartily, “But I guess I got what you were trying to say.”

“You guess?” Santana shot back.

“Yeah... I’m still slightly confused...”

“How’s this?” Santana grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again. Y/N slowly tapped the girl on her chest when things started to get heated.

“Let’s keep it PG, we’ve got an audience.”

Santana bit her lip in embarrassment when she saw that all eyes were on them now.

“But your message was loud and clear this time.” Y/N whispered in her ear and gave her one of the most adorable smiles.

“Oh...” Santana let out a breathy chuckle and looked at the ground. Being nervous was so out of character for her, but whenever it came to her and relationships she was always a simp for her significant other.

“But... can we take it slow? Because-”

Y/N nodded immediately. “I know, you don’t have to tell me. We’ll take it slow.”

✫彡

Y/N sat on Santana’s bed, reading a book while the Latina was trying to write a new song for her album. She heard yet another paper being ripped apart, followed by a loud groan.

“Baby, you okay?”

Y/N bent over the couch and hugged Santana’s neck from behind, planting a kiss on her temple. Santana sighed and sat back, feeling more relaxed the second Y/N’s arms wrapped around her.

“It’s not working. I can’t seem to get my exact feelings onto paper and what I have now doesn’t even do it a little bit of justice.”

“The break-up song? Let me see-” Y/N went to reach for the notebook but Santana immediately turned around and smiled.

“You know what? I’m starving, and I want to take you out.”

“Oh— are you sure? We just had-”

“I’m sure. I need a break anyway.”

“Okay...well, let me get a jacket.”

Santana watched Y/N walk into the other room before quickly hiding the notebook behind the couch pillows again. She’d feel so embarrassed if Y/N ever read any of her love songs to her. Truth be told, ever since their first kiss in the diner, Santana had found her new muse. She had written a lot of songs since then but not one seemed to be good enough or do the girl justice. Besides, if Y/N read the lyrics to this song... Well, it would make or break their relationship and Santana wasn’t going to lose someone again.

“Let’s go.”

✫彡

“But I can tell my friends, right?”

“Baby, of course you can.”

“Sweet! I’m going to see them again next week. Can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they see you.”

“Oh, I’m... not sure if going with you is such a good idea.”

“I forgot— we’re taking things slow.” Y/N nodded to herself, “Sorry, I get too excited sometimes.”

Santana caressed the girl’s head and planted a kiss on it, “It’s okay. Soon.”

✫彡

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.”

Y/N took a sip of her drink, “Well, i’m still working at the diner, that hasn’t changed. And-”

“You’re in love.”

“How-”

“I can sense it. Also, you've posted a lot of cheesy and soft quotes on your twitter so that was a dead give-away.”

“Well, yes. I’m dating someone.”

“Boy? Girl?”

“Girl, duh.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Oh my God, Y/N!” Her friend squealed, “Who is it? Show me a picture, let me approve.”

“It’s Santana Lopez.”

The two friends fell quiet.

“The famous singer?” One of them asked.

“Hun, she’s hardly famous anymore. Are we sure she still even exists?”

“Hey!” Y/N pouted. “But I’m telling you the truth. It’s Santana.”

“Real funny, she doesn’t even live in New York.”

“Uh, yeah, she does.”

“No, she doesn’t. TMZ said she moved back to Ohio after the break-up.”

Y/N shook her head, “They also said she started dating a 80 year-old billionaire and bought a pet alpaca, which I think is ridiculous. You’re too gullible.”

Her friend shrugged, “Perhaps, yeah. But hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell us who it really is yet.”

Y/N rolled her eyes when they switched the topic.

✫彡

“How did it go, babe? Were you happy to see them again?”

“You’re not going to believe me but they thought I was joking.”

“Joking about what?”

Y/N sat down next to Santana on the couch, immediately cuddling up to her. “Well, they didn’t believe I was dating you.”

“Why would they not believe you?”

“I think you forgot that you’re kinda famous.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m hardly famous.”

Y/N mocked her, earning a playful punch in the shoulder from Santana but her smile soon disappeared.

“Um...”

“No bad news, please!” Y/N immediately noticed the change in Santana.

“No, no, don’t worry. I mean, I don’t think it’s bad news— it’s just... a lot...to deal with right now.”

“Just rip the bandaid off.”

Santana grabbed her phone and showed Y/N the post.

“Oh...” Y/N swiped and saw that she had been photographed as well.

“I know we said we would take things slow so I’m so sorry that the media is trying to fuck that up again.” Santana examined Y/N, who was difficult to read. “This is exactly what ruined everything last time. Fuck! Here I thought it would be different this time around. I should’ve never-”

“Santana, sshh.” Y/N grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. “Stop thinking.”

Santana looked up like a sad puppy.

“Nothing is getting ruined again. Not on my watch.” She put the phone on the coffee table, “Let’s just ignore that. Let them start rumours, let them guess, let them make up drama but the only two people who really know the truth are you and I. It’s our life, not theirs. So no matter what they will say, I will love you unconditionally for as long as you want me to... and I will never feel differently... about you.”

Santana's head shot up, looking puzzled and panicked at the same time.

“W-Where did you get that from?”

Y/N smiled at Santana and caressed her cheek, “You need to find better hiding places, babe.”

Y/N suddenly looked worried, “Unless that song wasn’t about me... then... well, this is awkward. Just-”

“I love you.” Santana cut her off, tears in her eyes. She felt the urge to pinch herself but decided it would look silly. Was she really in love again after all that she’d been through?

“I love you too, unconditionally. And... you better make that song your first single.”

✫彡

“Guys, I’m literally in the pictures with her?!”

“Yah, but you look more like a fan of her than her girlfriend, look at you... swooning.”

“I mean, yes, I adore everything she does...”

Y/N’s friend leaned over and smiled, “So you’re really dating the Santana Lopez?”

“I mean, I sure hope she does...” Santana walked up to their table in the little cafe, startling Y/N’s friends while the girl just looked at them with a smirk on her face. Finally.

Santana sat down next to her and gave her girlfriend a kiss before turning back to the two friends sitting in front of them.

“Is that enough proof or do you need me to bend her o-”

“That’s enough!” Y/N gave Santana a playful slap across the head.

“Oh my God, no!” Y/N’s friend exclaimed, “Speak for yourself! Imagine the money I’d make with a tape of that! I’d finally be the rich bitch I’ve always been deep down.”

Y/n rolled her eyes at him and it earned a laugh from Santana, “I like you.”

“Why, muchas gracias.”

“Wow, thanks for completely taking my spotlight. Hi, i’m her best friend, he’s just our accessory.”

“Excuse me?!”

Y/N shook her head at the two of them.

“Are you regretting you came along?” Y/N turned to her girlfriend.

“We wouldn’t judge you if you said yes, to be honest.” Her friend laughed.

Santana smiled at them, “No, it’s been a while since I met new people and you two seem fun and well, you mean a lot to this one over here so I’m happy to be here.”

Y/N snuggled up to Santana and put her head on her shoulder.

“Alright, go and make me jealous. It’s fine.”

“Shut up! Now tell us how you two met, please!”

✫彡

Santana couldn’t stop playing with her fingers and the bracelets on her wrist as the hours passed. Only a few more minutes now until her new song ‘My Unconditional Love’ would go online, for the world to hear. There had been a lot of speculations about the two women the past few months, but they had tried to be more discreet when they were outside. Much to the dismay of the paparazzi and tabloids. This song would basically be a dead give away to their relationship but she didn’t care. This song already meant so much to her and Santana hoped she could write plenty more songs like these about Y/N.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Y/N’s voice interrupted her thinking.

“Wh- No, never! It’s probably my favourite song I ever wrote... it’s just... nerve-wracking, is all.”

“C’mere.”

Santana walked into Y/N’s open arms and let out a big sigh at the feeling of her arms around her.

“You’ve come a long way and I am so proud of you... but most of all, I’m happy to be on this ride with you. I know this song will point a lot of fingers to us dating but hey, like we said before— no one needs to know but us and our friends and families. Capiche?”

Santana nodded and grabbed the girl’s cheeks, “I’m so happy with you.”

They both beamed from ear to ear until the bell rang. Santana opened the door.

“I’m so excited!” Kurt squealed and dragged Rachel along inside.

“It’s time, guys!” Y/N sang as she appeared from the kitchen, trying to balance a tray with four champagne glasses on it.

“Hook your phone up to the speakers!” Rachel grabbed a glass. Santana’s new song started playing which earned raised eyebrows from the three others.

“This isn’t the same song you sent me?!” Kurt exclaimed.

“No, it is. It’s just not the slow version. I’m keeping that version for us.” Santana grabbed Y/N’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It felt too special to share.”

“Well, damn, I’m digging this one, too!”

They started dancing together to the upbeat song. Y/N kept staring at Santana, who seemed too excited and happy to notice.

Her unconditional love.

#santana lopez #santana lopez imagine #santana lopez imagines #santana lopez x reader #santana lopez one shot #santana / you #santana/you #glee #glee imagine #glee imagines #glee one shot #glee x reader #naya rivera imagine #naya rivera imagines #naya river x reader #brittana imagines

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wheresmynaya · 4 years

Text

Two Ghosts Ch.21 | Brittana

Yes, you’re seeing that correctly LOL. I’m determined to turn 2020 around, at least through writing fics! I will also (try very hard to) update weekly.

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & below the cut!

The wheels of the plane from New Haven barely hit the tarmac before Quinn is texting Santana and Brittany to ask if they want to grab a coffee. Santana figures Quinn must be dying to know what happened with Alex because she sure didn’t call Quinn up to tell her. She also highly doubts Brittany had the time to do it either.

They’ve both been…busy.

Not like that, they’ve just had their own things to deal with. You know, private feelings.

Like knowing Britt still loves her after all these years and Santana wanting to do things right this time. Brittany had teased Santana about being courted, but Santana kind of liked the idea of taking things slow. There were still so many things about Brittany she didn’t know and the thought of learning her all over again sounded nice.

Brittany P. – You free to meet up with Q?

Santana sees the text from Brittany and it makes her smile. It’s so reminiscent of their high school days when Quinn would message the Unholy Trinity group chat but Santana and Brittany would text each other on the side to confirm what they wanted to do first before replying. They’ve grown so much over the years, but the text just shows Santana that some things never do change. Do they?

Santana L. – Yeah, hbu?

Brittany P. – Yup!

Santana swipes into the group chat and sends a text agreeing to meet up which is closely followed by Brittany saying the same. Quinn’s all too quick to provide the when and where before Santana sets off to get dressed. She’s nearly made it to her closet when her phone goes off again. It’s a private text from Brittany.

Brittany P. – I’m glad you’re free. I’ve kinda missed your face.

Santana feels a heat rise up the back of her neck and cover the apples of her cheeks upon reading the text. She quickly types out a reply, trying to keep her cool.

Santana L. – It’s only been like…2 days?

Brittany P. – 2 days too long!

And just like that, Santana feels like a silly school girl again blushing over a cute text from Brittany. She remembered at time back in high school when Brittany would make it her mission during class to break Santana’s bitch face with an onslaught of cute texts that she would totally make fun of if they had come from anyone else but Britt. Sometimes she’d send corny pick-up lines or puns are just straight compliment the crap out of her. Either way, Santana never stood a chance.

She was like putty in Brittany’s hands.

Apparently after all this time, she still is.

She ruffles up her hair and positions the camera towards her. She gives it a cheeky grin and snap the selfie before sending it off to Brittany, followed by a text.

Santana L. – Don’t want to deprive you of this beautiful mug.

Brittany texts back almost instantly.

Brittany P. – hubba hubba!

A picture of herself sporting the cheesiest of grins accompanies the new text and Santana laughs at the combination. She makes a point to set the picture as Brittany’s new Caller Id later.

When Santana steps outside, she’s surprised by how cold it is. With years of having to wear a Cheerios skirt no matter the weather and 5 years worth of living in New York, Santana was pretty immune to the cold but today seemed to be a dramatic drop in temperature.

Then again, now that it was December could she really be that surprised? She let that thought sit with her for a moment as she slid into her Honda. December already? Time was flying by, the school years was nearly halfway over!

What is she going to do after?

She hadn’t really given it too much thought. She figured she would head back to New York, but things were changing. It wasn’t just her future anymore, it was Brittany’s too. And maybe she’s jumping the gun a little, fast-forwarding that far ahead after she told Britt she wanted to take things slow, but that talk would have to come up eventually, wouldn’t it?

Santana shakes away the thoughts, they’re too heavy for the lack of caffeine in her system, and sets them on the back burner for now before she goes to start her car. She twists the key in the ignition and surprise surprise it doesn’t roar to life.

“Seriously?” Santana frowns and tries again but it’s no use. Her little Honda refuses to start up. She lets out a sigh and glances over to the empty spot in the driveway where her mom’s SUV is usually parked if Maribel didn’t happen to be at work right now. Santana rolls her eyes and tries to start the car one more time before giving up.

It feels a bit like déjà vu; Santana’s car refusing to work right before the first Unholy Trinity meeting at the beginning of the school year which ended up making her late. She had felt so bad for making her friends wait for her and here she was about to do it again. Back then she had to figure out her useless car on her own, but again, things were different.

Santana heads back inside for warmth and fishes her phone out from her purse before making the call.

“Hey Santana!” Brittany greets enthusiastically, albeit slightly out of breath. The sound makes Santana’s mouth go dry, remembering other times where Brittany sounded just as breathless.

“Hey Britt! Are you…running?”

“Kind of,” Brittany answers through a chuckle, “What’s up?”

“Do you think I could catch a ride with you to meet up with Quinn?” Santana asks a little nervously, “My car is being a piece of shit again and refusing to do the one thing it was built to freaking do.”

“It’s probably just mad at you for still not taking it in,” Brittany teases her, “But yeah, I can totally pick you up! Be around in 10?”

“Thanks Britt,” Santana grins, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Kay bye!”

It’s ridiculous to think how all of a sudden Santana’s heart starts beating a little faster and her movements become more fidgety in anticipation for Brittany to come over. She really wishes she could get a grip, but after everything that happened on Thanksgiving and their talk after seeing Alex it’s hard to control. She couldn’t get over the fact that Britt still loved her and they still had a chance to make things right. She couldn’t believe it, after all the years of struggling and pushing away those feelings, there was still something there for them.

Britt had said that her body wakes up whenever she’s around Santana and now Santana totally gets it.

Santana’s body wakes up around Brittany too and she has missed that feeling so much.

There are a couple knocks at the front door, but she doesn’t have to check to know that it’s Brittany. Other than the fact that Santana knew she would be coming, Brittany still taps the same signature rhythm with her knuckles.

“Hey, I would’ve-“ Santana’s words get caught as her eyes land on Brittany.

Her blonde hair falls from her messy bun in cute tendrils, something that’s prone to happening whenever Brittany breaks a sweat. In fact, she glistens and steam rises from the top of her head against the cold air. Santana wonders how the hell she isn’t freezing, but she can’t comprehend much as her eyes start to rake up Brittany’s body on their own.

She’s dressed in baggy red sweat pants and a black sports bra that’s damp with sweat and it’s barely covered by the pathetic excuse for a t-shirt. The material is so thin it’s practically see through and Santana can literally count each one of Brittany’s abs.

Santana’s swallows dryly because woah.

Brittany’s still got it. Then again, did she ever really lose it? Apparently not, she just got hotter.

There’s a muffled chuckle that brings Santana’s eyes to meet mischievous blues. Brittany smirks and adjusts the strap of her duffle bag on her shoulder. Santana didn’t even realize she was carrying it.

“Hey Santana.”

“Sorry, hey Britt. Come in,” Santana gestures, not wanting Britt to catch a cold with the lack of clothes she has on, “Why are you so…sweaty?”

“My dance class ran a little late so I didn’t have time to get ready there,” Brittany explains, “Could I change here?”

Santana begins to picture Brittany’s lithe body breaking it down in dance class and god since when did she become such a desperate mess? She blames the lack of sex and Brittany.

She thinks how they kind of go hand in hand, but she quickly pushes that thought away.

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Did you want to shower too?”

“I should,” Brittany says, “Class was really intense today.”

“I can see that,” Santana comments without thinking but covers it with a smile, “Go shower. I’ll tell Quinn we’ll be late.”

“Thanks,” Brittany grins and presses a kiss to Santana’s cheek as she walks by.

Santana turns and watches as Brittany head up the stairs, a dopey grin filing her face as her eyes land on Brittany’s perfect ass.

That dopey grin is replaced by something of annoyance as Santana and Brittany sit across from Quinn at Starbucks a little later. Brittany is busy talking about her class and how they can incorporate some of the elements into their set for Sectionals since it’ll be coming up soon, but Santana can’t focus with how Quinn keeps glancing between her and Brittany so analytically.

Quinn’s itching to say something, Santana can tell, but she won’t interrupt Brittany when she’s speaking so passionately. She stays engaged and listens intently, but Santana knows the minute Brittany stops it’ll be fair game and she’s not ready for all that.

It makes Santana nervous; not because she wants to hide whatever is going on between her and Brittany, but because it’s too new to hash out over lattes. It was literally a day ago that they were even suggesting picking up their thing again, so Quinn would just have to wait until they sorted everything out themselves.

Santana holds out a little hope though. Quinn’s a lot more mature now than she was in high school, softer even, but she’s still the same ole’ Quinn in some aspects and Santana really doesn’t want to lure her out with talking about relationships.

But of course it’s a difficult topic to dodge when Alex is brought up. Santana and Brittany explain everything that happened at Frank’s and where Alex is now. It was already hard to miss the similarities between Alex and Santana, but it’s even more so now. It’s common knowledge so Santana’s glad that neither Quinn nor Brittany decided to delve into that. Instead Quinn says how thankful she is that Santana and Britt were around to help Alex and she’s a little upset that she missed out.

Quinn talks about being mentors and wanting to have a positive impact on the squad, something that was hit or miss when they were all in school because Sue could be so horrible and it wasn’t a secret that Mr. Schue had his favorites.

They could all agree that they wanted to do better if they could help it. When Quinn says she thinks Santana and Brittany did a great job with Alex and would make Ms. Holliday proud, Santana nearly gets choked up if she weren’t so badass. Ms. Holliday helped her and Brittany through so much so to be compared to her is a lot for Santana. If it weren’t for her, it would’ve taken her way longer to come to terms with her feelings. Maybe she never would’ve?

She owed Ms. Holliday everything.

Brittany thanks Quinn for them though and nuzzles into Santana’s side for a hug like she can sense Santana’s struggle. Santana’s grateful but she can’t help but smile at the scent of her shampoo wafting from Brittany’s hair, reminding her further of their new closeness. She catches Quinn’s analytical eye again and quickly turns up the snark.

“Who knew the holidays could turn you into a big softy, Quinnie.” Santana comments as Brittany pulls away. She already misses the warmth but she miraculously keeps from frowning about it.

Quinn just rolls her eyes and smirks, “You’re one to talk, Satan.”

After a refill, Quinn goes on to ask how everyone’s Thanksgiving went. Santana really feels like Quinn is trying to set her up here. Or maybe, Santana’s just feeling a little paranoid because Quinn always has that look like she knows something you don’t.

It seems that Santana’s the only one that’s trying to make it a bigger deal than it is, because Brittany easily fills Quinn in on how great it was to spend Thanksgiving with Santana and Maribel. She excitedly goes over the events of the night, but thankfully leaves out the more intimate details.

“I’m glad you didn’t have to spend it alone, Britt,” Quinn comments genuinely then looks to Santana, “It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun. I knew including Britt would be a good idea!”

Santana bites her cheek and narrows her eyes. She knows Quinn isn’t trying to be a pain in her ass on purpose judging by her tone, but the way she’s always silently rooting for them is embarrassing and makes Santana feel jittery. But more importantly, Brittany wasn’t aware of the fact that Santana had been considering inviting her to dinner and she doesn’t want to that to hurt Brittany’s feelings or for her to misunderstand.

Santana just wasn’t brave enough at the time and if Maribel didn’t invite Brittany over, then she and Santana wouldn’t have had such a great time and they would’ve never had the chance to reconnect like they did. There was no way of knowing Thanksgiving was going to have such an impact on their progress, but it doesn’t keep her from regretting her lack of bravery.

She hates that it still has the ability to dictate how their relationship pans out and unfortunately, that’s just another thing that hasn’t changed.

Santana scowls at how fast her thoughts are moving and she’s about two seconds away from saying something witty to take the attention off of her when she feels Brittany’s hand slip over her knee. Her knee twitches at the unexpected move, but she soon relaxes at the gentle squeeze Brittany gives her.

The gesture instantly softens her up and she glances over at Brittany who remains looking at Quinn like nothing’s happened, but it’s all the reassurance she needs for now.

“Oh no, Maribel invited me.” Brittany clarifies and squeezes Santana’s knee again, “We ran into each other at the grocery story. Not literally, but she did need help reaching something from the top shelf. She invited me over, but I didn’t want to impose. Santana was the one who convinced me to stay.”

When Brittany puts it that way, it eases more of Santana’s nerves. She didn’t even consider the amount of courage it took her to ask Brittany to stay. She always loved Brittany’s ability to turn her negatives into positives and she ducks her head in a quiet thanks.

Quinn smiles at them, but it’s more loving than her usual Queen Bitch Smirk. It makes Santana roll her eyes although her stomach flips from the fluttery feelings brought on by the feel of Brittany’s hand on her. She’s sure now that Quinn is on to them, but she doesn’t want to get into that right now.

“Shut up, Q.” Santana grumbles as she subtly overlaps Brittany’s hand with her own before taking a sip of her latte with her free one.

Quinn just laughs and waves her off, “I wasn’t saying anything.”

They spend the rest of the time talking about Sectionals and developing a game plan. They’ve been preparing for awhile now, maybe just before Thanksgiving break let out because they knew the squad would start to get less focused the closer the break came. For the most part, they felt ready and were confident that the squad felt it too.

“The Cheerios have placed first every year since 2003,” Quinn said, “At least, that’s what Sue said. I’m not sure how accurate that is.”

“I believe it,” Brittany replied with a shrug.

Santana just inhaled deeply and said sarcastically, “No pressure or anything.”

“We’ve got this in the bag,” Quinn answered confidently, “For one, we’re the only squad with 3 coaches.”

Brittany wagged her finger at Quinn, “True. That’s 3 times the awesomeness.”

“And we’re probably going to be the only hot coaches there too,” Santana shrugged nonchalantly.

“Also true,” Brittany nodded then sent a wink Santana’s way, “The hottest.”

Santana felt her cheeks flush, but she just smiled back smugly and dusted off her shoulder, “You know it.”

“Not really important,” Quinn chuckled causing Santana to screw up her face in disgust.

“Are you kidding me?” Santana looked astonished, “Looks are everything in the Cheerleading world, where have you been? Remember all those ridiculous diets Sue put us on?”

“Santana’s right,” Brittany added, “Our squad is a reflection of us, we have to set the example. Although, those diets were really unhealthy so let’s not tell the squad about it.”

“Oh we won’t,” Quinn clarifies, “These next couple of weeks are going to be pretty intense. Our girls are good but we can’t let them get too comfortable.”

“Let’s make them do wind sprints tomorrow,” Santana suggests devilishly, “Make them run off all that food they had over Thanksgiving.”

“Greens, beans, tomatoes, potatoes,” Brittany starts rapping and it makes Santana and Quinn laugh.

“This is our first competition as coaches and it’s important we make a good impression,” Quinn adds after their laughter dies down, “Afterall, we want to make it to Nationals, right?”

Santana briefly remembers Sue’s tape and the arrangement that brought them all together and the bonus that was promised if the squad were to place at Nationals. She had almost forgotten the real reason she was back in Lima, that it had nothing to do with Brittany, and it made her sit a little straighter.

She needed to stay focused too. She and Brittany both needed to.

“Of course,” Santana says and she’s surprised to hear Brittany’s voice in time with hers, mimicking the same words.

Always in unison, even without meaning to be.

“We have to be on point then,” Quinn adds a little more solemnly, “For Coach Sylvester.”

Santana can see the storm clouds rolling in above Quinn’s head and she wonders what that is about. She knew this was a job and they had to meet certain expectations in order to get paid, but she didn’t think Quinn would take it that seriously. Then again, she and Sue had always had a different dynamic. Maybe she really did want to honor her legacy by winning.

“We will be,” Santana replies anyway and gives Quinn an encouraging nod, “We don’t know how to be anything else but flawless.”

After saying their goodbyes to Quinn, Santana and Brittany are back in the car on their way to Maribel’s a little while later. Brittany had passed Santana the aux cord upon settling in and they decided on taking the long way home since the queue was so good. Santana had missed many aspects of Brittany, but being able to ride around in the car with her as they bobbed their heads to songs they use to sing for Glee Club is probably something she missed the most.

Brittany really was the easiest person to get along with, they just fit together so perfectly.

“You know, I don’t mind driving you around while your car gets fixed. You have great taste in music and your car dance moves are the best,” Brittany says after belting out the final note of a Whitney Houston song. She’s a little breathless again from the dramatic runs and the bellyaching laughter, but that’s when Santana finds her the prettiest.

She’s so wrapped up in staring that she nearly misses the words that follow.

“You are going to get it fixed, right?” Brittany asks and chances a glance at Santana to find her biting on her bottom lip. She might’ve forgotten to call Burt’s shop while she was waiting for Brittany, mostly because she was too busy running upstairs to touch up her make up before she arrived.

She smiled guiltily, “Yes?”

“San,” Brittany sighs as they come up to a red light. It was meant to sound frustrated but it was more endearing than anything. Santana hasn’t heard Brittany call her San in years and it makes her heart flutter wildly. Brittany gives her that you’re exhausting but I love you look and it has Santana’s guard instantly dropping.

“What?” Santana laughs as Brittany lifts a brow, “I will!”

“You better,” Brittany warns and her voice dips low.

The rumble of her tone has Santana biting her lip again and she presses further, edging over the middle console.

“Or what?” She asks challengingly.

Santana lingers there and she knows the exact moment Brittany’s head starts to cloud with thoughts, she can see it in darkening blue eyes. The glow of the red light illuminates them both, masking flushed cheeks, but Santana is confident they’re there. Suddenly, the heat coming from the vents is way too hot but it only seems to increase the longer Brittany stares heatedly back.

Santana remembers this look a little too well considering how long it has been. It was the same look that led to many spontaneous make out sessions in a dark parking lot when they were meant to be on their way to somewhere important. Back when they were young and reckless and couldn’t keep their hands of each other. The windows of Santana’s little Honda would be so thick with fog that she’d have to turn on the defroster afterwards just so she could see.

Brittany would just sit topless and doodle love hearts until it went away.

“You don’t want to know,” Brittany manages to reply in a whisper as she leans in and it’s like she’s daring Santana to close the distance.

And she would, she totally would! Their lips are so damn close now and the scent of her cherry lip smackers and peppermint gum is just so Brittany and it’s flooding her senses. All Santana has to do is lean just a little bit further and they’d be stopping traffic. She would give not one single fuck if it meant having Brittany’s lips on hers again.

But then their faces illuminate in green and Brittany’s the first to break the trance as the car behind them beeps their horn.

Santana settles back in her seat, tossing shy glances in Brittany’s direction, crossing her legs a little tighter as they continue their journey to Maribel’s.

She waits a few minutes before clearing her throat a little, “Maybe I’ll get Burt to have a look at it tomorrow before practice, see if it’s worth repairing…or whatever.”

She’s thankful that Brittany’s success in getting her all flustered can’t be detected in the tone of her voice and takes that as a small win.

“That’s my girl,” Brittany teases lovingly and reaches over to squeeze at Santana’s thigh.

Santana just about melts into a puddle on the spot because she wasn’t expecting Brittany to say something like that. Brittany can be so smug sometimes, but trying to fight from swooning at Brittany’s words is hard. She knows she can’t give Britt the satisfaction no matter how right she is in wanting Santana to take her car in, but being her girl?

Santana hasn’t been anyone’s anything in so long, at least not to anyone that mattered. She had forgotten what it felt like to be wanted in that way, even if Britt only said it as a passing comment. It makes Santana feel whole in a totally different way and she loves it.

She loves being Brittany’s girl.

#Two Ghosts #Brittana #fanfics #Brittana fanfiction

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todaydreambelievers · 5 years

Text

The Newdie Awards!!

So, now that TDB is winding down - and in honor of the final podcast, I decided to hand out a few awards for all the people who’ve helped me along the way. It’s a lot like The Office’s Dundie Awards! (only nicer).

First of all, though, I want to shout a huge thank you to all the people who’ve donated so far to the TDB Pool - to keep the podcast hosted for years to come, so new people can listen, even if we’re not producing new content. I’m amazed at how much we’ve raised so far. Thank you so, so much for all your contributions!

Secondly, a shout out to @seeroftodayandtomorrow - who diligently watched the show every week with me for the last two years. That’s quite the feat and shouldn’t be discounted. You guys try doing anything for two years straight! <3

Thirdly, not sure how many of you realize this but @nikkisrandomthingsfan has been modding @todaydreambelieversfic for years now, and does an amazing job of it. I can’t thank her enough for taking that over for me - and agreeing to continue to watch over the fic blog even after the main TDB blog ends. In addition - to all the writers, including those who did the Author Spotlights with us back in the day, and to all the artists and creators out there - I hope you keep on doing your thing. We’re blessed to have such creative talent in the fandom. Thank you, thank you <3

The Newdies!!

The Matt Rutherford: Not Here but Not Forgotten Award goes to...

All of my lovely guests who weren’t here in the finale. I’ve had the pleasure of discussing the show with so many wonderful people - and I’m grateful to all the people who took the time to be on the podcast an share your thoughts. Thank you for being such wonderful guests <3

The Blaine Anderson: Biggest Stan Award goes to...

@thedorkmark There are plenty of Blaine stans around, but I haven’t met any that have surpassed Izzie’s passion and willingness to die on any hill. And like Blaine, Izzie’s a sweetheart and a kind soul. Thank you for bringing such joy and fire to the podcast <3 <3

The Mike Chang: All Around Awesome Award goes to...

@somewhereonlyino Like Mike, Lauren’s sometimes quiet, but always brings a fun and warm attitude to the podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and being such a team player. <3 <3 The Tina Cohen-Chang: Don’t Cut Me Off Award goes to...

@carojane - I’ve never met a person who stans Tina harder than Carly, someone who shares Tina’s strong will and ability to push through the hard parts with sheer determination. You’re sweet and sensitive and kind but also won’t back down from a fight. Thank you so much for everything you’ve shared over the years <3 <3

The Sugar Motta: Sweet’n’Spicy Award goes to...

@coming-up-rosie - Every time Rosie pops on to the podcast, she’s sweet’n’spicy and always knows how to liven up the conversation. While not around a lot on the podcast, like Sugar, whenever you were on you brought joy and enthusiasm - especially lovely since I kept placing you on such random podcasts. Thank you so much for your ability to go with the flow and have fun while doing it <3 <3

The Sam Evans: Always Lending a Helping Hand Award goes to...

@klaineship2 Over the years, Carmen has been such a hard worker! She’s done the entire rewatch with me, continues diligently to keep track of fics, and has even translated my and other’s fic into another language for more people to read!! Like Sam, you’re kind and dependable, and great friend who’s always there to jump in and help out. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done over the years <3 <3

The Adam Crawford: Cutie Across the Pond Award goes to...

@perfectanomaly The thing about Anny is that she’s always coming at me with an unexpected, but welcome, new point of view, and challenging me on how I see the characters. Like Adam, she’s sweet and friendly (and also European!) and reminds me that these character’s don’t always have to live in the boxes we sometimes place them in. Thank you so much for keeping me on my toes all these years, and giving me new perspectives to think about <3 <3

The Santana Lopez: Tell It Like It Is Award goes to...

@honeysucklepink - Pink, you’ve been such a firecracker over the years! Your deep love of music and glee and Darren Criss has driven your passion, and like Santana you’re never afraid to shy away from your opinions, even if they’re different from everyone else’s. But also like Santana - you care deeply about the things and people are important to you. Thank you for always bringing your massive knowledge of music and crackling stories to the podcast <3 <3

The Sue Sylvester: Kicking Down the Fourth Wall Award goes to...

@slayediest - No one on the podcast has had an insider view of production quite like Slayediest, so it’s always fascinating to hear your stories about how things probably happened on the show. But also, like Sue, you don’t really give a shit about all the nonsense going on around you, and think that most of the drama is ridiculous and silly (and it is!) and I really appreciate it about you. You have a great sense of humor, and are always reminding me to sit back and enjoy the craziness in the world. Thank you for letting me drag you on all these years, I’ve always valued your input so much <3 <3

The Marley Rose: Most Precious of Precious Muffins Award goes to...

@sleepdeprivedmind - Connie, hands down, is one of the kindest, most positive, purest people I know. I’ve never heard her say a bad word about anything, and even tries to bring a positive on some of the most negative subjects (like Will!!, lol) Like Marley, you have such a big heart and warm soul and radiate joy whenever you come on the podcast. I’m incredibly thankful to call you my friend, thank you so much for all the great conversations we’ve had <3 <3

The Mercedes Jones: Oh Hell to the No Award goes to...

@black-john-lennon - Kay was the first guest I recorded with on the show, and I’m so grateful for that first conversation, because it helped me gain the confidence that this project was something I could accomplish long term! Kay’s never been one to back down from a fight - but doing so from a place of passion and getting to the heart of the matter. Like Mercedes, you do have a sassy, won’t-back-down attitude, but I think you also share her vulnerability and big heart, and I don’t think that’s appreciated enough. Thank you so much for so many fantastic conversations, and becoming someone I can call a good friend <3 <3

The Emma Pillsbury: The Gingers Always Know Best Award goes to...

@redheadgleek - Oh, Julia, so calm and wise in her ways, she’ll always be there to lend a listening ear or be of service in whatever way she can be! Like Emma - I think you’re smart and on the nose about a lot of things, but also incredibly kind and caring. And, many people may or may not know, the backbone of keeping a lot of fandom things afloat. (She has every Klaine fic ever stored on a drive somewhere in case the apocalypse happens guys, lol <3) Thank you for always being so sweet, and listening to me ramble on with an open mind and an open heart <3 <3

The Kurt Hummel: There Are More Than Four Sides to Me Award goes to...

@kurtmckinnon - Kelley helped me redefine what a Kurt Stan could be. Believe it or not, being a Kurt fan myself, I always shied away from the term - but Kelley’s love and passion for the character, and the show, helped me be secure in my identification of being a Kurt Stan (lol). But more so, like Kurt, there are far more sides to you and you’ve always come to the podcast with a new perspective and a way of thinking that I might not have been privvy to. I appreciate so much that you kept challenging how I saw the world. Thank you so much for being such a huge, positive champion of Kurt, and always pushing me to think outside of the box <3 <3

The Finn Hudson: The Show’s Gonna Go All Over The Place Aware goes to...

@notthatbea - My dearest Bethany, my goodness where do I even start. Always there when I needed her, Bethany’s never been afraid to back away no matter what kinda crazy scheme I’ve got going on. Like Finn, she’s sometimes bumbling along with me (in a good way!) but has a huge heart and always willing to go with it now how matter how crazy and out of control things get. Thank you so, so much for becoming my good friend, for letting me take you on some of these insane adventures, and solidifying yourself in my heart - so much love <3 <3

The Brittany Pierce: Special Unicorn Award goes to...

@slayerkitty - No one has a laugh quite like Kitty’s, and it’s a delight to hear it, even when it’s for the most randomest of things. Like Brittany, she’s a little bit sweet, a little awkward, a little odd, and a whole lot wonderful unicorn - all of it wrapped up in such a delightful way. I’m sorry I cancelled your contract so many times - know that I couldn’t really imagine doing the podcast without you there. Thank you so much for your fountain of knowledge, your great sense of humor, and your deep love of all fandom things - you’re unique and wonderful in your own special way, and I appreciate that about you <3 <3

The Cooper J Anderson Emotional Tornado Award goes to...

@ckerouac - I mean is anyone really surprised by this?? RB is the ultimate emotion tornado, swooping in and creating a great time like like none other. Like Cooper - your enthusiasm never wavers, your energy is inspiring, your sense of fun is endless, and you’re always pointing me (ha) in the right direction, and I’m guessing you probably have really great hair.

Thank you for the phrase - ‘I wanna lick him nipple to navel’ and your vast knowledge of liquors, and the bangity-bang song, and the 2 out of 3 podcasters joke. Thank you for jumping in on a podcast as a pinch-hitter even when you didn’t even know what the topic was. Thank you for all the laughs and the sometimes tears and the driving me crazy but not really. Thank you for becoming one of my greatest friends - I value your friendship deeply. Just - thank you <3 <3

And one final thought - Iron Man’s better. He just is, RB, I mean really ;)

The Elliott Gilbert: Glitter Rock Vampire Award goes to...

@snarkyhag - I’m not really sure I have words to express how I feel about the one and only Le Diva Hag. You are the Glitter Rock Vampire of my world - always there, always helping, always being a life coach and a wonderful friend. I can’t tell you all the things she’s done for me over the years - because if I did it’d take up another post entirely. But know that sometimes you come to a fandom just wanting to hang out and enjoy the silly world that is your favorite story, and you walk away finding someone whose become one of your closet friends. I have nothing but gratefulness for everything she’s brought into my life.

I love you, Snarky, you are the Elliott to my Kurt, and I promise I’m never saying good-bye to you <3 <3

and finally...

The Rachel Berry: Greatest Star Award goes to...

YOU!!!

To all my listeners, and all the people who’ve contributed to TDB over the years, taking polls, giving prompts, writing stories, doing art, joining in on the conversation, or just hitting like or reblog. This blog has been made special because you were a part of it. To my real Daydream Believers - thank you for bring such joy to my life and others. You all are the greatest stars <3

Congratulations!!!

#tdb podcast #tdb rewatch #tdb rewatch finale celebration #oh goodness #i'm tearing up as I finish this post #you were all so amazing #and i'm so so grateful to all of you #i'll miss tdb - but i'm so glad i've found all of you in the process

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themostrandomfandom · 5 years

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Hi! I hope you’re doing well :)) I was randomly thinking about Brittana the other day and — do you think Santana came out to anyone before she was outed? and do you think Brittany ever “came out”? Because nobody seems to be acting as if her liking girls is new information in 3x07.

Hey, @sitandsingtoyou!

So the short answers are:

With the exceptions of Brittany Pierce,Holly Holliday, and Dave Karofsky, I don’t think Santana ever really comes outto anyone (at least in so many words) prior to episode 3x06.

As for Brittany, I don’t think she ever comesout so much as she just is out andhas been kinda forever.

Long answers after the cut.

___

First, a quick rundown:

In episode 1x02, in her very first appearance on the show,Brittany checks out Santana’s ass as Santana twirls in her Cheerios skirt,demonstrating the “teasing not pleasing” technique. Several other cheerleaders,including Quinn, are present to witness the incident. Brittany makes no effortto hide her obvious attraction.

In episode 1x13, Brittany reveals to Kurt, Mercedes, Artie, andTina that she and Santana have sex with each other often enough that by some definitionsthey could be dating.

In episode 1x14, Santana offers to make out with Brittany whileFinn spectates.

In episode 1x17, Brittany reveals to Kurt, Mercedes, Artie, andTina that she has personally made out with “everyone” at the school, includingboys and girls.

In episode 2x04, Mercedes witnesses Brittana’s silent hallway “lovers’quarrel,” when Brittany indicates that she is cutting Santana off from havingsex with her.

In episode 2x06, Artie witnesses Brittana leaving Breadstix withPuck, presumably to have a threesome with him.

In episode 2x14, Santana takes shots off of Brittany’s abs at theRachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza.

In episode 2x15, Brittana come out to Holly Holliday—thoughSantana still maintains the pretense that she is attracted to boys. Later,Brittana sing “Landslide” to each other and hug in plain view of the glee club.Rachel comments on the sapphic nature of the performance. Based on her bodylanguage, Quinn may also realize what’s up. Artie appears somewhat suspiciousof the exchange and what it might mean for his relationship with Brittany.However, Sam fails to understand the significance of the moment.

In episode 2x17, Santana defends Klaine from Dave’s homophobicbullying. Though she doesn’t indicate that she is doing so because she, likeKlaine, is gay, Kurt may realize, at least to some degree, that something is upwith her.

In episode 2x18, Santana comes out to Dave and blackmails him intobearding with her. She then forms the Bully Whips, using Dave to help her makeWMHS safe for Kurt’s return. However, she refuses to participate in the gleeclub’s “Born This Way” performance and only dons the “LEBANESE” t-shirtBrittany made for her at the very end of the episode, where no one but Dave cansee her do so.

In episode 2x19, Brittany reveals on FF2 that Santana “plays foranother team.” The Muckraker then runs a blind item column which refers toSantana as the prom queen candidate who is in the closet. Santana angrilyconfronts Brittany about her word choice in the presence of several other gleeclub members. Later, Brittany reveals to Artie that she is cheating on him withSantana, and Bartie break up.

In episode 2x20, Brittany dances with a girl at the prom.

In episode 2x22, Quinn notes that all of the other girls in theglee club aside from her “have love.” Though she doesn’t mention Brittany andSantana by name, she does spare them a pointed look which strongly suggeststhat she knows they are in love with each other. Seconds later, she confusesBrittana’s offer to cheer her up with a haircut up as an invitation to jointhem in a threesome. Surprisingly, Santana is able to laugh off the mistake.

In episode 3x01, in their very first scene of the season, Brittanygets a food tray for both her and Santana to eat from. The girls then meet up,link elbows, and happily skip away for their “lunch date.” Jacob Ben Israelcatches this whole exchange on film and broadcasts it to the school. Later,when Will exiles Santana from the glee club, Brittany appears very upset, andFinn seems to take notice.

Between episodes 3x01 and 3x04, Brittana are generally very touchywith each other, and, for the first time in a long while, neither one of themhas a boyfriend or even a boy toy. They also don’t express any interest in boysat all.

In episode 3x02, Brittany tries to sell Kurt on her ProjectUnicorn campaign platform, which is specifically designed to combat homophobicbullying at WMHS. Brittany makes it clear to Kurt that she has a personalinvestment in the cause. Later, Santana stands up to Kurt when he disparagesBrittany’s platform. Brittany eventually decides to run for senior classpresident on her own ticket. She identifies herself as a “bicorn” to Kurt.

In episode 3x03, Brittany shows up to Booty Camp, even though sheis personally exempted from the practice, expressly for the purpose of hangingout with Santana. In Mercedes’s “It’s All Over” fever dream sequence, sherefers to Santana “knockin’ off that piece who thinks she’s better thaneverybody runnin’ for president”—i.e., Brittany—indicating that she at leaststrongly suspects if not knows for a fact that Brittana are back to sleepingtogether again.

In episode 3x04, Brittany dodges Rory’s romantic advances. Santanaalso threatens Rory against pursuing Brittany, referring to Brittany has “[her]girl” and calling her beautiful, innocent, and “everything that’s good inthis miserable, stinking world” in the process. Elsewhere, when Mercedes approachesSantana to join her new glee club, she is savvy enough to realize that Brittanycomes as a package deal, further indicating that she is aware that Brittana aretogether, and, moreover, that their relationship is both committed andfeelings-based.

In episode 3x06, prior to being outed, Brittana continue to bevery affectionate with each other in public—and especially during the “Stop theviolence!” scene during Troubletones practice, when Santana practically meltsat Brittany’s cuteness, in plain view of Sugar, Mercedes, Shelby, and the otherglee club members. Santana also chews Finn’s ass for calling Brittany stupid.

To the best of my recollections, these represent all of theinstances in which Santana’s lesbianism, Brittany’s bisexuality, and Brittana’ssexual and romantic relationship are either discussed or brought to theattention of other characters prior to Santana’s outing in episode 3x06.

Of course, that’s to say nothing of the flirtatious, pining,bedroom, adoring, moony, thirsty, love-eyed looks they sling each other betweenepisodes 1x02 and 3x06, or the way they drape themselves all over each othersitting on the back row in the choir room, or how they dance together duringpractices, or the fact that they’re usually glued at the hip, or that Santananever smiles at anyone in the way she smiles at Brittany, and Brittany hasnothing but praise for Santana (never mind what everyone else says), and, and,and—

There may be other instances in which either Santana or Brittanyas individuals or Brittana as a couple come out to people, but if there are, wecertainly don’t see them take place on screen.

Personally, my sense is that prior to her outing, Santana neverpurposefully comes out to anyone besides the select individuals mentionedabove. I have two reasons for thinking this way.

First, I tend to believe that had Santana come out to anyonebesides Brittany, Holly, and Dave, TPTB would have shown her doing so onscreen—because it kinda would have been a BIG DEAL.

Santana is very much the epitome of this text post:

Compare her tearfully admitting to Brittany that she’s in lovewith her during the Hurt Locker scene in episode 2x15 versus her casually quipping to Quinn’s boyfriend the very first time she meets him in episode 5x12, “Wordon the street is you’re old money. I’m a lesbian, but I’m totally into that.”

Back in S3, Santana is still so new to coming out (and even toaccepting her own lesbian identity) that I just have to believe that had shecome out to anyone—whether on purpose or accidentally—it would have been depictedas part of her storyline. It’s something that would have factored into her arcin a major way.

—which brings me to my second reason for believing that she doesn’tcome out to anyone else prior to episode 3x06: namely, I don’t think she’sready to make “that kind of announcement,” just from a character standpoint.

In episode 3x04, she’s still holding Brittany’s hand under the napkin. While making thingsofficial with her dream girl probably boosts her confidence at least somewhat,it also doesn’t necessarily mean that she suddenly has enough confidence tocome out.

Honestly, based on her reaction to Finn outing her and Reggie Salazarrunning his political ad (“Not just the school, you idiot! Everyone!,” “I haven’teven told my parents yet!”), I tend to think that Santana’s m.o. is not to comeout at school until after she comesout to her family. They’re her first priority when it comes to taking thatstep. She doesn’t want anything to get back to them before she’s had a chanceto tell them the truth herself.

Since we know she isn’t out to her parents and grandmotherpre-episode 3x06, then my guess is that she also isn’t out to anyone else atschool—at least not in a formal way.

Instead, I think she tends to take “the Brittany approach.”

—which brings us to the matter of Brittany’s “outness.”

As mentioned above, there are several instances prior to episode3x06 when Brittany makes her attraction to girls known in a public setting.

In particular, in both episodes 1x13 and 1x17, she admits to groupsof her peers that she has both kissed and had sex with girls.

Neither one ofthese scenes is a “coming out” scene in the traditional sense, as she isn’tlabeling her sexual identity or framing what she says as a disclosure but rather simply talking about her life and about the way things are with her in a general, matter-of-fact way.

Her attitudesuggests that what she’s saying isn’t a secret or something that she considersrevelatory.

That’s why I say that Brittany never comes out as much as she just isout.

While there may be some instance before the start of the show(like in middle school or the ninth grade) when Brittany formally announces toher classmates that she is bisexual, my sense is that there isn’t.

I honestly don’tthink Brittany ever tells anyone in so many words “I’m interested in multiplegenders” or “I’m bi.” I think she is just always kind of open about the factthat she is.

In fact, a lot of the friction between her and Santana during S1and S2 derives from the fact that they have differing comfort levels withoutness.

Even though they are in love with each other, Santana isn’t readyto admit that they are even to herself, much less to anyone else, so sheinsists that any time she and Brittany are actively hooking up with each other,then they must also actively be hooking up with boys on the side. Frankly, ifgiven her druthers, Brittany would probably prefer to be monogamous withSantana—and, in fact, according to my calculations, Brittana probably arefairly monogamous with each other between episodes 1x16 and 2x06 (see here)—sothe only reason she bothers making out with random classmates outside ofSantana is because Santana insists that they “play straight.” The desire toconceal her sexual orientation and her feelings for Santana never comes fromher. She only participates in misdirecting behavior because Santana’s “rules”necessitate it.

On the few occasions when Brittany oversteps Santana’s boundaries,pushing her to be open if not about her own sexual orientation than at leastabout the true nature of her and Brittany’s relationship (see episodes 1x13 and2x04), Santana immediately shuts her down, and Brittana experience relationalfriction.

Consequently, Brittany tends to back down—at least until S2, whenshe decides that if Santana doesn’t want to be her girlfriend, then maybe sheshould try dating someone else, and she ends up becoming a couple with Artie.

Of course, the really interesting thing is that even thoughBrittany is generally open about her bisexuality, very few people seem to pickup on it prior to episode 3x06.

That whole “gals being pals” phenomenon, where people look at wlwshowing romantic love for their partners but mistake it for platonic bestfriendly affection because heteronormativity—that’s Brittany’s entire lifeexperience prior to Santana’s outing.

Brittany can talk openly about how she’s made out with boys andgirls; dance with a girl at the junior prom; and spend every day in glee practicemaking eyes at Santana, holding her hands, stroking her hair, and justgenerally being moony about her, but people will still view her as being prettymuch straight until her girlfriend is outed as a lesbian.

—and even then it’s debatable to what extent the general publicunderstands Brittany’s sexuality.

As I talk about in thispost,

Brittanyhas been vocal about her attraction to men and women since early in S1, firststating that she’s slept with Santana in episode 1x13, then revealing thatshe’s made out with girls, boys, and Mr. Kidney the janitor in episode 1x17.

The factthat she is not straight has never exactly been a secret.

—and yetno one at McKinley seems to raise an eyebrow at her sexuality, never mind that,for a time, she is the only out LGBTQIA+ kid in the student body.

(Lateron, various people on the show will talk about how Kurt Hummel is the first outgay kid at the school, which, though true in terms of being gay specifically,is not necessarily true in terms of being “not straight” in a more general way.The fact that no one at McKinley seems to acknowledge Brittany as the first outLGBTQIA+ kid at the school shows that her sexual orientation doesn’t reallyregister with the more part of the student body. No one really thinks of her asbisexual/pansexual/sexually fluid/queer Brittany, or at least they don’t thinkof her in those terms in the same way that they think of Kurt as gay. Hersexual orientation isn’t viewed as an important part of her identity, eventhough it’s something she is actually fairly open about from the start.)

Whilemembers of the New Directions give Brittany funny looks when she talks abouthaving sex with Santana and achieving her perfect kissing record with everyoneat school (regardless of gender), these funny looks aren’t particularlydifferent from the ones they give her for spouting off Brittanyisms or speakingin non sequiturs.

So whythe nonreactions on their parts? Why do Brittany’s teammates not really seem tonotice or care that Brittany isn’t straight?

Part ofit probably has to do with their misunderstanding of Brittany in general:

She’sincomprehensibly strange to them, something between a child and an idiot. Doesshe even know what she’s saying? Does she even understand what making out orhaving sex means? Since they view her as having such low intelligence, it’sprobably somewhat uncomfortable for them to think of her as having sexualagency, so they don’t dwell on it.

She’sjust Brittany being Brittany, after all. Best not to press the matter.

Anotherpart of it definitely has to do with heteronormativity:

They’reconditioned to think of straight as a baseline. And straight girls can stillmake out with girls sometimes, right—especially if they’re dumb straight girlswith active libidos? After all, Brittany only really goes on dates with guys,and observable behavior = orientation, doesn’t it? So Brittany must bestraight. The “kissing (and having sex with) girls” thing is an anomaly, asometimes thing, the exception and not the rule. Somehow it doesn’t count.

So even though Brittany never goes out of her way to conceal her bisexuality, she still manages to “hide in plain sight.” Her peers don’t really seem to notice or care about her sexuality until it relates to her relationship with Santana.

—which brings us back to Santana in S3.

Based on her behavior in early S3, I tend to believe that Santana adopts the same method to “outness” as Brittany does: namely, though she doesn’t actually come out to anyone, either directly or in so manywords, she also gives up on attempting to conceal both her sexualorientation and feelings for Brittany—and especially to the degreethat she did in the past.

In S1 and S2, whenever Brittana were engaged in a sexualrelationship with each other, they would also each maintain sexualrelationships with boys on the side, so as to create plausible deniability. Butcome S3, neither one of them has a boy toy or beard, even though they aretogether.

They also don’t express sexual or romantic interest in anyonebesides each other—i.e., they’re clearly not on the hunt for boyfriends or evenpretending that they are. Gone are the days of them (and mainly Santana)working overtime to convince everyone that they’re straight or even thatthey’re not each other’s primary relationship.

While they’re not yet to the point of kissing or holding hands inpublic, they are very touchy with each other. They’re also openly emotionally supportive of each other, such aswhen Santana defends Brittany’s unicorn campaign to Kurt in episode 3x02 orwhen Brittany shows up to Booty Camp just to hang out with Santana in episode3x03.

Essentially, then, they are no longer in the business of activelyconcealing the truth about Santana’s sexual orientation and their romanticrelationship, though they’re also not yet ready to make a public announcementregarding those topics, either. They start out S3 hiding in plain sight, as itwere.

Santana’s attitude during this point in time seems to be along thelines of, “I’m gonna start being more and more myself, and if someone noticeswhat’s up, then someone notices. Otherwise, I will come out when I’m good andready.”

True to her pragmatic nature, she is taking baby steps: parting ways with her final beard, Karofsky;coming to terms with the word “lesbian” and starting to embrace the label forherself; giving up on her mad grab popularity schemes (like her convoluted promqueen campaign); becoming more and more a real part of the glee club; standingup for other LGBT kids, like Kurt and Blaine; starting to allow her realpersonality to shine through; spending the summer dating Brittany even thoughshe can’t be fully sure that they are dating; kicking off her senior year beingmore open with her feelings for Brittany in public than she has ever beenbefore.

Part of what makes her outing so horrific, then—among a millionother things—is that she spends late S2 and early S3 steadily laying thegroundwork towards coming out, only to have the decision as to how and when shedoes so completely ripped away from her before she gets the chance. Somethingthat she wanted to do by increments and when she felt comfortable got forcedonto her in an instant. Finn just ripped the bandaid right off without givingher any warning.

Anyway, I’ve rambled on for a long time now.

Thanks for the question!

#Crazy Brittanalyst Answers #sitandsingtoyou #I just want queue

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echoes-of-realities · 6 years

Text

be my fire in the cold (and I'll be waiting by the mistletoe) - 6/25

* * *

[From the Start] // [Fanfiction] // [ao3]

[Previous Chapter] // [Next Chapter]

Chapter Summary: Brittany’s never believed theatre rumours; Brittany really doesn’t like bullies.

Notes: Warning for minor homophobia

Chapter 6: sure we'll be laughed at, but we all know

///

Brittany wakes up to the faint smell of bacon and hash-browns. She’s disorientated for a second, wondering how in the world her window managed to change walls in the middle of the night and when her pale yellow sheets turned grey, before she realizes that she’s curled up in Mercedes’ bed, the afghan that’s usually draped over the foot of the bed tangled around her shoulders under the comforter. The skin of her face feels raw and tight, the kind of tightness that comes from not wiping away her tears before falling asleep, and she’s somehow still exhausted despite her deep, dreamless sleep. She can hear Mercedes in the kitchen, frying pans knocking together and the kettle screaming, and Brittany sighs and buries her face in one of the pillows thrown around the head of the bed; it smells like Mercedes’ lavender shampoo, and a hint of Sam’s cologne and her own honeysuckle and jasmine body wash from when they all have movie nights and curl up in Mercedes’ room because she has the comfiest mattress. Brittany breathes in deeply, hoping the scents she’s always associated with her best friends will soothe her.

It doesn’t really manage to take her mind off Lord Tubbington though.

The door eases open and Brittany can tell Mercedes is hovering in the doorway, debating whether to wake Brittany or let her sleep.

“Morning,” Brittany croaks, making the decision for her.

Mercedes sighs, so softly that Brittany barely hears it, and crosses the room, settling on the bed somewhere by Brittany’s hip. She hesitates for a moment, but before Brittany can say anything, her warm body is pressing to Brittany in a fierce hug; she smells of breakfast food and coffee and clean from her morning shower. Brittany sighs and sinks back into the embrace. “How are you feeling?” Mercedes whispers.

Brittany manages a little shrug. “I dunno. Sad and, like, empty, I guess. Like when you’re really, really hungry in the middle of the night and you can feel how empty your stomach is empty, except everywhere.”

Mercedes nuzzles closer, and Brittany can picture her face, her brows drawn a little together and the skin around her mouth tight. “I’m so sorry, Britt-Britt,” she whispers.

“Thanks,” Brittany mumbles.

Mercedes is quiet for a moment while Brittany stares blankly out the window. It’s surprisingly clear out, sunbeams streaming through the thin curtains and making swirling patterns on the carpet. “You could take the day off,” Mercedes suggests finally.

Brittany shrugs. “I dunno,” she mumbles, “I just want the day to be normal, you know?” Mercedes hums against her shoulder in acknowledgement. “Besides, dancing always helps me forget about everything, and I kinda need that right now, you know?”

Mercedes hums again, and Brittany sighs. She doesn’t really feel teary anymore, just tired and empty and lonely, even with Mercedes pressing comfortingly all along her back, breathing in sync with her. Eventually Mercedes crawls off the bed and tugs Brittany up after her, and they both follow their noses back to the kitchen where Mercedes has breakfast set up all along the counter, a mug of steaming hot chocolate sitting in front of Brittany’s stool at the kitchen island, whipped cream piled so high it hasn’t even melted all the way in yet. Brittany smiles at Mercedes’ back, feeling warmth curl in her chest, grateful that she has a best friend who knows her so well. They dish up breakfast quietly before settling into their usual spots breakfast spots and eat in comfortable silence.

“I forgot to ask last night, because of— Everything,” Mercedes finally says, “But how did you get home? I didn’t realize my phone was on silent until this morning and I’m so sorry if you tried to call me for a ride.”

“Oh, no it’s fine,” Brittany shrugs a little and pokes at her eggs, “Santana and I shared an Uber home.” She points to the southeast, where their front door is, with a forkful of eggs. “She lives like ten-ish minutes that way.”

“That’s nice of her,” Mercedes says, smiling just a little bit at Brittany.

Brittany feels the corner of her lip turn up in return, just a little bit, and the ache in her chest eases at the warm smile on Mercedes face. “Yeah,” she says simply.

Mercedes hums and, despite the slight smirk tugging on her lips, she remains silent. Brittany insists on cleaning up since Mercedes did all the cooking, before she heads to her room and calls her mom. Her mom puts her on speakerphone with her dad and her sister, and they spend most of the morning reminiscing on Lord Tubbington’s antics. By the end of it Brittany finds herself feeling a little bit better; talking about how much they all loved Tubbs and laughing about how many times food would suddenly go missing and Tubbs would suddenly get fatter makes her feel lighter, until the ache behind her eyes is almost gone. And when Mercedes knocks quietly on her door so they can head to the theatre, Brittany doesn’t feel quite so alone anymore.

Mercedes has to go talk to Kurt about something as soon as they get there, so Brittany ends up wandering the theatre by herself after they check in at the call board. She stops in at her favourite rehearsal room in the hopes that she can blast some music and forget about everything for a little while before she has to start warm ups with the company, but instead finds Jake and Jane practicing the Pas de Deux from the second act. They call out greetings to her and she waves at them before heading back the way she came.

“Hey, Brittany!”

Brittany glances over her shoulder and finds Puck coming up behind her, his arms full of props. “Hey,” she greets quietly.

“Do you mind giving me a hand?” he asks, and Brittany quickly relieves him of the box blocking his view. “Thanks,” he pants, “I thought I could do it all in one trip, but I don’t want Lopez seeing me and going all crazy spicy Latina on me again for dropping something like she did last time.”

Brittany’s nose wrinkles up. “That’s racist,” she says idly.

Puck doesn’t seem to have heard her; he never does when she calls him out on something. “Speaking of Lopez, did you hear?” he asks, obnoxiously waggling his eyebrows at her. Brittany frowns at him; he looks a little bit like a cartoon character, struggling to see past the props still in his arms, his dumb mohawk stuck to his sweaty forehead, a smirk tugging at his lips that Brittany recognizes as the lecherous leer he gets whenever a new dancer—especially those without any knowledge of his reputation—joins the company. “There’s a rumour going around that she plays for the other team, if you know what I mean,” he says in a stage whisper.

“I’m pretty sure she only works here,” Brittany says tiredly, “it’s part of her contract.”

“Not like her job, Brittany,” Puck explains slowly, and because Brittany is trailing behind him to fit through the entryway that leads to one of the back hallways of the theatre, he doesn’t see her roll her eyes. “Like who she takes to bed type of team.”

Brittany’s not quite sure what to say to that, not because she thinks of Santana any differently now, but because she’s pretty sure this is not something Santana wants floating around the theatre; despite working in the arts, Brittany’s encountered a surprising amount of homophobia, and something about Puck’s leer makes Brittany’s skin crawl.

“Did you hear me?” Puck asks, looking around a candy cane prop blocking his view so he can catch Brittany’s eye, it kind of makes Brittany want to take said candy cane and start beating him with it.

“Yeah, I’m just trying to process how gross you are.”

Puck smirks. “What can I say? Lopez is hot, I’m sure she has hot taste in women, and I like hot things.”

The urge to beat him with the candy cane is growing almost too strong to ignore now; Brittany’s never been particularly prone to violence, and she’s not sure if it’s her grief over Lord Tubbington messing with her emotions, the fact that she likes Santana and hates that there’s already rumours going around about her, the fact that she hates bullies, or some combination of all three, but she’s pretty sure if they don’t reach the prop room soon she’s going to snap.

“Wow,” Brittany says slowly, “You might just be the dumbest person on Earth.”

Puck just shrugs. “Maybe,” he agrees easily, smirking, “But I heard it from Finn who heard it from Santana herself.”

“Why was Santana talking to Finn?” Brittany wonders aloud. Finn’s half-way decent about thirteen percent of the time, and Brittany’s pretty sure his partial decency only exists because he sleeps about thirteen percent of the time.

“She wasn’t, he was down in the principal hallway bringing some extra Christmas ornaments up from storage and he overheard Lopez and Tina talking. Tina was asking if Lopez had been on any dates lately,” Puck pauses until Brittany glances at him before he finishes, delighted like a kid waiting up for Santa on Christmas Eve, “With a girl.”

Brittany shrugs. “Your point?”

“With a girl,” he emphasizes, a far off look in his eyes that makes Brittany feel like she needs a shower, “Like a lesbian.”

“Puck that’s gross,” Brittany says.

“No, it’s hot,” he leers.

Brittany scowls at him. “No, I mean you’re gross for being a creep.”

Puck shrugs. “What can I say? I’m a guy.” Brittany dumps the box she’s carrying on top of the pile in Puck’s hands, making him stagger under the unexpected weight. “Hey! I thought you were helping!”

Brittany just shrugs as she spins on her heel and walks back the way they came. “I don’t really think I can provide the help you need,” she deadpans over her shoulder.

She doesn’t see Santana at all before the show, not even for notes, but she hears the whispers of gossip that Puck mentioned as she heads for the stage during intermission. It makes her blood boil, especially after last night because her emotions are still a little all over the place. She can feel the angry creeping along her fingers and sticking to her stomach, and she can’t quite control the scowl she gives some of the snow corps as she walks past them; they’re the group who is almost always at the root of any rumour.

But before she can do more than glare at them for their whispers, she’s running into something warm and solid and groaning. Her hands automatically reach out to steady the source of the groaning, and then deep, dark eyes are locking on her own.

“Brittany,” Santana says breathlessly, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Brittany easily shrugs, searching Santana’s face for any sign she’s heard the rumours about herself, but Santana’s face is only open and warm and concerned. Brittany suddenly realizes that her hands are still on Santana’s shoulders and she hurriedly pulls them back to her, playing with the hem of her tutu. Santana quickly pushes her headset off of her ears until it’s hanging around her neck, giving Brittany her full attention; it makes Brittany feel vulnerable and important, because she can hear the tinny sound of voices through the headset, but Santana barely seems to notice them. “How are you?” Santana asks, her voice quiet and more tender than Brittany’s ever heard someone’s voice go.

That sharp ache of pain arcs through Brittany’s chest, but she manages a small smile. “I’m good,” she says.

Santana’s face changes a little bit, like she doesn’t quite believe Brittany but doesn’t want to say anything. She leans closer, her voice even quieter. “It’s okay if you’re not,” she whispers, “I get it. I would have understood if you hadn’t come in today.”

Brittany’s breath catches a little bit, like someone reached into her chest and squeezed, and she’s suddenly blinking back tears. “I wanted something normal today,” she finally admits, “You know, to keep my mind off it.”

Santana’s hand suddenly brushes over hers, and the ache in Brittany’s chest eases just a little bit at the gentle squeeze of Santana’s fingers around hers. “I get that,” she murmurs. Brittany’s eyes catch in the deepest groove of Santana’s for a moment and Brittany can see exactly how true Santana’s words are; Brittany’s a little glad when Santana’s eyes dart away because those dark eyes make her feel like a little bit like she’s free falling from an airplane without a parachute, a little bit dangerous and a little bit scary and a whole lot exhilarating. “But if you need anything,” Santana continues, shrugging a little, “Time off or a hug or a friend, I’m good for any of it.”

“Thank you,” Brittany whispers, desperately ignoring the prickle she can still feel behind her eyes. Mercedes already had to help her reapply her makeup once today, and Brittany’s due on stage too soon for her to reapply it again.

Santana seems to realize this and her fingers slide across Brittany’s wrist as she pulls back a little bit; Brittany suddenly realizes she can breathe properly again without ever realizing her breath was caught in her chest in the first place. “Are you up for notes after the show?” Santana asks.

“Oh yeah, you didn’t come for notes earlier,” Brittany says, her question implied rather than outright asked.

Santana rolls her eyes so hard she tosses her head back a little, and Brittany bites her lip at how cute the gesture is. “Yeah, Puck tried to take all the props down in one trip, like a dumbass, and dropped them, of course, and broke a bunch of them. I swear to god this is the only prop department I’ve ever worked with that isn’t completely anal about taking care of the props, but nope, he just cost the company a couple hundred dollars.” Brittany smirks at the image that rises to her mind; she’s not sure if she necessarily believes in karma, but she can definitely admire its handiwork. “Anyways, I went down there for check-ins before half hour and found him trying to clean it all up. He was being,” Santana pauses for long enough that Brittany wants to hug her, and then go and beat Puck with that candy cane prop, “weird, I guess. But after I chewed him out for being a dumbass and not making more than one trip, he shut up pretty quick.”

Brittany laughs a little bit, and her chest feels light for the first time all day. “Emma’s really, really anal about the props, but whenever she’s out sick Finn and Puck completely fall apart.”

“Yeah,” Santana mutters, “So do the props.”

Brittany giggles, and is about to respond when she catches sight of one of the snow corps out of the corner of her eye sneering at Santana. Brittany’s pretty sure her name is Brynn or Bree or something, though she doesn’t pay much attention to the more malicious members of the snow corps; but even if she doesn’t recognize her, there’s this glint in her eyes that Brittany knows all too well, and the sneer on her face carries in her voice as she calls across the stage.

“Watch out there, Sugar Plum,” she snarls, “You wouldn’t wanna get to close. I’m pretty sure lesbianism is contagious.”

Brittany can see the exact moment that Santana processes what was just said, her dark eyes go wide for a second and her spine straightens with a jolt as if someone just yanked on a string at the top of her head. There’s burning anger in Santana’s dark eyes, but Brittany’s pretty sure she could scrape it away with her fingernail and reveal the bright, aching pain underneath.

Brittany feels that bubbling anger she’s felt all day start to give way and she scowls at Brynn or Bree or whatever. Her own anger is bright and flaring, all of the frustration and grief of the last couple weeks surging like liquid fire through her veins. “I’d rather catch lesbianism than whatever it is that’s made your face look like that,” she says, her voice so quiet and dangerous that it shocks Brynn or Bree or whatever into taking a startled half-step backwards. “Is it the snow that makes your face freeze like that or is that just how you’ve always looked?” Brittany continues, slipping into the practiced confusion that’s served her so well over the years, “Either way, don’t get too close to a fireplace. You might melt.”

Brynn or Bree or whatever gets lost in the sea of dancers gathering for the start of act two and Brittany takes a deep breath to calm the blood rushing in her ears before she turns back to Santana. She’s still frozen, her wide eyes on Brittany’s and the set of her shoulders stiff. “Hey,” Brittany whispers, carefully moving closer to Santana, as if she’s an overly cautious bird that might fly away at a sudden movement, “Are you okay?”

Santana blinks, her gaze darting between Brittany’s eyes. Brittany lets Santana stare at her, hoping she finds what she’s looking for. “I— Uh— Yeah,” she stutters. “That was— I mean,” her brown eyes finally still and settle on Brittany’s, and Brittany feels warm all over. “Thank you,” Santana says earnestly, the glow her dark eyes making something in Brittany’s chest shiver.

Heat crawls under her skin and she already knows the pink splotching her cheeks is obvious, even under the dim stage lights. “I’ve been looking for a reason to call her out,” Brittany admits, “She’s always been awful.”

“I—” a particularly loud voice comes through the headset still around Santana’s neck, and Santana jumps a little, only now seeming to realize that one of the other stage managers has been trying to get her attention for a while. She gives Brittany an apologetic, slightly helpless look, but Brittany easily waves her off. Santana quickly pulls her headset back over her ears and mutters something into the mic. She listens intently right as one of the stage hands starts wandering through the dancers, calling five minutes to the end of intermission, and Brittany starts a little, not realizing how much time has already passed.

Santana sighs deeply and draws Brittany’s attention back to her; she’s worrying the notebook in her hands and scowling into space. Brittany smiles a little at the furrow in her brow; she’s not sure what it is about this woman, but pretty much everything about her is adorable. Brittany touches her elbow to draw her attention, and the way her face instantly clears into a small smile when she looks at Brittany makes Brittany feel a little bit like she might be floating. Brittany points towards the curtains and Santana nods quickly. She covers the mic with her hand and her eyes go liquid soft for a moment. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Brittany can feel her heartbeat pound everywhere. “Any time,” she promises.

Santana shows up at Brittany’s dressing room just as she’s heading out, and there’s something easy and light in her expression that wasn’t there earlier. Brittany smiles at her until Santana’s dimples crease her cheeks and she looks away breathlessly. “No notes?” Brittany teases.

Santana shrugs and looks shy for a moment, before she takes a deep breath and gestures towards the hallway, waiting until Brittany’s locked the door and they’ve started heading down the hallway to answer. “Not tonight, I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing,” she says easily, bumping her shoulder against Brittany’s, “You did amazing like usual, by the way. Especially, you know, considering everything.”

Brittany smiles a little, and despite the ache in her chest she feels less empty than she did this morning. Between talking to her family this morning, Mercedes being an amazing best friend, and Santana’s understanding, she’s realizing that she has pretty great people in her life. Sure, she misses Tubbs just as much as she did this morning, and she doesn’t think that will every go away completely, but having so many people around who care about her makes her realize that she’s never going to be as lonely as she was when it felt like Tubbs was the only one who understood her.

“What was he like?” Santana asks softly.

Brittany feels her lips curl up a little. “His name was Lord Tubbington,” she says, watching Santana out of the corner of her eye to gauge her reaction.

She does admirably; after letting out an involuntary giggle, she bites down on her bottom lip to stifle her amusement. “Lord Tubbington?” she manages in a mostly calm voice.

Brittany nods seriously. “We called him Tubbs for short.”

Santana turns sparkling eyes on her, and despite the teeth sunk into her lip to contain her smile, her cheeks still dimple. “That’s cute,” she says, her voice bright with amusement.

Brittany grins, and Santana relaxes a little. Brittany glances around the hallway, even though she already knows it’s going to be empty, before leaning close to Santana. She smells of citrus and vanilla and pinewood underneath the clinging scent of the theatre, and it makes something in Brittany’s chest fall into place. “He was really fat,�� she whispers.

Santana’s teeth release her lip as she throws her head back with a delighted laugh. “Please tell me you have pictures,” she gasps.

Brittany grins and quickly struggles to tug her phone out of her pocket. She opens it and quickly finds her photos app, pulling up the album of Lord Tubbington’s best pictures. They end up hovering near the end of the principal hallway, huddled over Brittany’s phone as they scroll through pictures of, what Santana deems, the fattest and most adorable cat in the world. Brittany narrates some of Tubbs’ best moments, including the time he somehow got onto the table one New Year’s Day supper and shoved his head into the cheese fondue, and the time he got out of the house only to be picked up and cared for by a biker gang until they saw his lost posters and brought him back home. Santana’s completely enamoured by the stories Brittany tells, and it’s fun and therapeutic to reminisce on all of her adventures with, in Brittany’s humble opinion, the best cat in the world.

Mercedes had already left to pick up some snacks for them because, despite it being almost ten o’clock at night, she always knows how hungry Brittany is after a show, and since Santana’s ride had to go met up with her mom and dad, Santana offers to share another Uber back to their apartments, much to Brittany’s delight. Brittany quickly texts Mercedes that she doesn’t need a ride and she’ll meet her back at the apartment instead.

They reach the back exit and spill onto the street in a fit of giggles as Brittany narrates how the first and only time she tried smoking when she was fourteen, she heard her mom coming in the front door early and promptly framed Tubbs for the smell of smoke lingering on her clothes so her mom wouldn’t get mad at her (it didn’t work, of course, but her mom found it so amusing that she let Brittany off with only a stern warning that, if Tubbs ever did it again, he’d end up grounded for the rest of his life).

They direct the Uber driver to Brittany’s apartment first, and Santana keeps asking questions about Lord Tubbington, much to Brittany’s surprised delight. Santana hangs onto her every word, as if she’s the most interesting thing Santana’s ever seen, and it makes something lifting and bright curl in Brittany’s chest. They reach her and Mercedes’ apartment far too soon in Brittany’s opinion, and she quickly gives Santana money for her half of the fare, insisting on it when Santana tries to refuse because Santana didn’t let her pay her half last night. Santana eventually accepts, though with much whining reluctance, and Brittany grins, triumphant, and turns to get out of the car. Her fingers have barely wrapped around the handle of the door when Santana’s hand on hers freezes her. “Hey,” she whispers.

Brittany feels something deep in her chest leap to attention. “Hey,” she whispers back.

“I’m really glad you told me about Lord Tubbington,” Santana says quietly, “And I’m really glad to see you smiling again, even though I know you must still be hurting.”

Brittany’s breath leaves her all at once and all she can manage is a small shake of her head and a soft smile. “Thanks for listening,” Brittany whispers.

Santana’s nose scrunches up a little and those dimples crease her cheeks. “Anytime, Britt. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Santana,” she whispers, finally crawling out of the car and carefully shutting the door behind her. She watches as its taillights head east towards the first set of lights before turning south towards Santana’s apartment.

Brittany takes a moment to breathe in the crisp night air before turning and heading into her apartment building; she still keenly misses Tubbs but, unlike she had that morning, she’s doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.

#brittana #brittany pierce #santana lopez #brittana fanfiction #glee fanfiction #mercedes jones #brittcedes #my writing #story: be my fire in the cold (and I'll be waiting by the mistletoe)

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leigh-kelly · 6 years

Text

A continuation of NYU!AU

After their trip to Jamaica, getting back into school mode is hard. Santana feels like she missed a lot of time that she could be writing papers and she spends a lot of time holed up in the library. When she comes back to their dorm at night, she’s exhausted and more often than not collapses right into bed while Brittany is still working on math stuff at her computer. The days ticking down to summer vacation make her feel dizzy and anxious but she knows that she can’t just abandon her school work to spend every possible second with Brittany.

When they finally think they’re going to have a Saturday off together, Brittany ends up having to go to some math conference at Brooklyn College and Santana is mopey when she leaves. She knows that she could use the time to get ahead on her work, but instead, she texts Marley to see if she wants to meet downtown. When Marley agrees to do brunch with her, she takes a shower and gets ready, figuring she’ll be back by mid-afternoon when Brittany should be done.

“Santana!” Marley calls out from a table in the restaurant and Santana goes over to her quickly and shimmies into the booth. “Who would have thought we’d be in the same city and have so little time to see each other?”

“It’s been nuts! I live with Brittany and I hardly ever see her.”

“Where is she? I thought you might bring her.”

“She’s at a math conference in Brooklyn. We’ll hopefully get to have dinner together for the first time since we were in Jamaica.”

“You don’t even know how jealous I am of your trip. My mom couldn’t afford to fly me home for break, so I pretty much sat in my dorm and did homework.”

“As amazing as my trip was, I could have really used the extra homework time.” Santana shakes her head. “Jeeze, I’ve hardly even been on Tumblr.”

“I noticed. Everyone sends me asks when they don’t hear from you.”

“Let’s make a post now.” Santana turns on her selfie camera and leans over the table, snapping the shot and posting the photo with the caption Don’t worry guys, Marley found me.

They have a really nice brunch and Santana tells Marley all about her drunken escapade in Jamaica while Marley tells Santana about the girl she kinda sorta met. When they’re finished, Marley tells Santana she has a paper to write and that she can’t stick around and Santana goes back to her dorm. She lays on the bed reading Henry James’ Washington Square while she waits for Brittany to get home. When she hears the key in the door she tries to finish the chapter she’s working on as quickly as possible.

“Babes.” Brittany smiles, looking really sexy in the blazer she wore for her conference. “I thought you might still be out.”

“Marley’s swamped with work too, I’m glad I at least didn’t have to spend the morning feeling bad for myself that you weren’t here. How was the conference?”

“Very mathy.” She laughs and crawls on the bed and over Santana to kiss her. “But good. Do you have to read all day?”

“Nope, this is actually for two weeks from now, so I have some time. Does this mean we actually get to hang out?”

“Miracle of miracles.” Brittany shrugs off her blazer and pulls her bra out of her sleeve. “Actually, I need to take off these pants too.”

“So I assume we’re staying in?” Santana chuckles.

“Totally. It’s like, torrentially raining out there now and I really don’t feel like wearing a bra anymore, so I say we order Chinese, watch a movie and make out.”

“Have I told you that you’re the best roommate ever?”

“Um, obviously.” Brittany stands up, unbuttons her blouse and looks entirely too sexy topless for Santana to even handle. “You have to change into your pajamas too.”

“One of us has to go downstairs to get the food.”

“I don’t care, I’ll go braless. It’s just the lobby.”

Brittany changes into boxers and an NYU sweatshirt and finally convinced Santana to get her pajamas on despite the fact that it’s only four o’clock in the afternoon. They get into bed together and Santana rests her head on Brittany’s chest, listening to her heart. She feels so at peace like that, just cuddled up in her girlfriend’s arms and she sighs contentedly, leaning up to kiss the bottom of Brittany’s chin. She barely notices the movie on in the background, she’s just so wrapped up in Brittany.

“Are you getting hungry?” Santana asks after the movie is over.

“I should eat.” Brittany nods, looking off in the distance.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just think that I might have forgotten to eat yesterday.”

“Britt.”

“It’s not a big deal.” She shakes her head. “I just got so wrapped up in math stuff and didn’t have any snacks on me and...I honestly shouldn’t be making excuses.”

“I know the stress of school is getting to you and I have a lot going on, but we should get up five minutes earlier in the morning and pack snacks. We have a ton in the closet...”

“I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“I know and I’m not going to make a big deal out of this because I can tell that it’s not a thing you need a big deal made out of, but I want you to know that you can talk to me if it becomes a thing.”

“I never want to go through hospitalization for anorexia again, I promise. I’ve been really good.” Brittany holds her breath and Santana watches her.

“Trust me, Britt, I know. And I know that you wouldn’t bring this up if you were trying to hide something from me.”

“I wouldn’t. You’ve been so good about it and I want to be honest with you.”

“I want you to always know that you can be honest with me.” Santana kisses her gently. “I’m not going to judge you if you’re going through something, but I’ll always make sure you get the help you need.”

“I know and I love you for that. But right now I just need some dinner.”

Santana pulls up the DoorDash menu and they add their items to the cart quickly. Brittany insists on paying because she said she’d really wanted to take Santana out for a nice dinner but weather and her unwillingness to put on pants prevented that. Letting Brittany stay pantsless even though she’d said she’d go downstairs, Santana pulls a sweatshirt over her shirt and goes to get the food. Though Santana is usually a little bit opposed to it, they spread the food out on the bed and Santana smiles a little watching Brittany take a big bite of her egg roll.

“Can we go to the Met tomorrow, or is your life too overwhelming?” Brittany asks mid-bite.

“I should honestly work on this paper, but I think it can wait. We haven’t had a museum date in awhile and I feel like looking at the period rooms will just give me inspiration.”

“You’re obsessed with the period rooms.” Brittany laughs.

“Well they’re obviously the best part. If I wasn’t gay...or brown...or a woman, I’d want to live in one of those colonial rooms.”

“I personally like running water and not wearing corsets. Also you hate wearing dresses.”

“Like I said, if I wasn’t a woman. I bet I could totally rock those tights and britches.”

“I’m not going to argue with that.” Brittany shook her head. “But then again, I think you could rock anything.”

“I also would love to sleep in tomorrow. I feel like I’ve been getting up at the crack of dawn to sneak off to the library and today I was up early because you were up. I just want to stay cuddled up with you until we absolutely have to get out of bed.”

“I could totally be down with that.” Brittany agrees and then the lights flicker in their room before they go out completely.

“Oh my God, did we just lose power?” Santana’s eyes widen and she looks around, realizing that she can’t see anything.

“I’ll find the candles with the flashlight on my phone, just stay put.”

“How romantic.” Santana laughs as the glow of Brittany’s phone alights the room and before she knows it, there are candles lit all over. “Actually, this is really romantic.”

“Candle light dinner, the sounds of college students screaming in the hallway.”

“Are we the only ones not freaking out?”

“It sure sounds like it. I think it’s kind of cozy. Much better than this happening in the summer like it always used to when I was a kid. Not having air conditioning was always torture.” Brittany laments. “Very much like your Colonial fantasy.”

“Shut up. Let’s just finish eating so we can take full advantage of cuddling by candlelight.”

After they finish up their dinner, Santana gets rid of the trash and washes her hands before she crawls under the covers with Brittany. The sound of the rain and the flicker of the candles makes curling up in Brittany’s arms an even safer place than it usually is and Santana slips off her glasses, letting the glow of the candles blur before her eyes.

“I can’t believe we lost power.” Santana murmurs.

“I listened to this podcast about how all of the New York City powerlines are underground, I don’t even know how this happened.”

“Flooding, maybe. It’s really coming down out there.”

“I’m very happy that we’re not outside and I get to hold you close.” Brittany affirms. “This is my happy place.”

“You don’t think we should go down and check with security, do you?” Santana starts to worry, reaching for her glasses again before Brittany stills her hand.

“There are probably a zillion people down there fighting for space at the desk. I think we’re good right here.”

“Okay...” Santana hesitates a little. “You know I get nervous about things.”

“I do.” Brittany nods. “But I’ll obviously keep you safe.”

“I know you will. And it is nice and warm in your arms.”

“Yeah, see. If you go downstairs it’s going to be freezing and wet and smelly.”

“You smell nice.” Santana inhales Brittany and she grins in the low light.

“Thank you for talking to me before, Santana. It’s just nice to know that someone takes me seriously.”

“I think a lot of people take you seriously.”

“Maybe now, about math stuff, but I just...remember in high school how people thought I had an eating disorder for attention. Even after I got out of the hospital, there were all of these terrible whispers about me. It wasn’t something I could ever trust anyone enough to talk about.”

“Isn’t it important for you to be able to talk about it?”

“That’s what the doctors told me, but I felt weird talking to my mom and I never had anyone else to really go to. Even Kitty, who I guess was my closest friend...I just never felt safe telling her anything serious.”

“I don’t think that’s fair. You deserve people in your life who you can trust.” Santana furrows her brow.

“I’m like...the party girl I guess, people stick by me because I’m a good time. When anything real is going on with me, they aren’t real friends.”

“I always thought it was easy to be popular. When I was sitting by myself at lunch, I’d stare longingly at everyone surrounded by people and wish I had friends like that.”

“So much of it is fake. You’re the first person I’ve ever known who sees the real me.”

“That makes me sad.” Santana sighs. “You deserve better.”

“I found better. You’re not just my girlfriend, Santana. You’re my best friend in the world.”

“You’re my best friend too, Britt. I know I have Marley, but it’s different with you. You know me inside and out.”

Brittany doesn’t say anything else. She just kisses Santana and before either of them know it, their clothes are off and they lay completely bared to each other on the comforter of their bed. Santana crawls on top of Brittany and she admires her body in the soft glow of the candlelight. She watches the way Brittany’s throat moves when she kisses the top of her breasts, she watches the way her fingers open and close before she weaves them through Santana’s hair. She watches the way her chest rises and falls as she takes a pale nipple between her lips. She watches the way her lips part as she kisses lower and lower. She watches the way Brittany glistens between her thighs as she spreads her legs apart.

“You’re beautiful.” Santana whispers. “Every bit of you.”

“You remind me of that.” Brittany breathes. “Even when I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see.”

“I’ll always be here to remind you.” She presses a soft kiss to Brittany’s sex and feels the way her hips arch up, aching for more.

Santana makes love to Brittany in the slowest, most reverent way. She can’t imagine ever doing this without feelings because every touch of skin on skin, every hitch of Brittany’s breath, every soft caress of her face reminds her that she is cherished. When Brittany falls apart, Santana finds her hand and she meets her eyes, making Brittany see the love in her own as she pleasures her with her mouth. She knows Brittany has had others besides her and sometimes she’s uncertain if she’s skilled enough but in this moment, she knows that she’s giving Brittany something that she only has with her.

After Brittany rolls Santana onto her back and makes her every nerve ending buzz, they lay side by side in silence, hearts still pounding, toes still tingling. Their fingers are woven together and Santana has her head on Brittany’s chest, listening to the sound of her heart. There’s noise outside the door as people still panic about the lack of electricity, but for Santana, the world has stopped and she’s just in a state of bliss with the love of her life.

“I don’t want to leave you for the summer.” She murmurs. “I’m going to miss you every day.”

“We did okay last summer. We’ll visit each other as much as we possibly can.”

“It makes my heart hurt thinking about it. I know my mom is counting down the days until I come home, but all I do is dread that the days are passing so quickly. I feel like I’m home with you, here.”

“We’re going to build a home together once we graduate.” Brittany promises. “I’ll go with you wherever you decide to get your PhD. We’ll live in a tiny, crappy apartment and we’ll love every second of it.”

“Why do you think my dreams are bigger than yours?”

“Because they are. Math isn’t my dream, it’s just something I’m good at. I’ll find a place to do that wherever you are. I think you’re my biggest dream.”

“I want to help you find a dream as big as mine.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever find that. You’ve known what you wanted to do for almost all of your life. I spent most of mine thinking I’d just work at a chicken factory or something.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t find one now.” Santana shakes her head.

“I don’t mind doing math forever. As long as I get to dance for fun and be with you. I don’t have to have some big dream, I just want to be happy.”

“You sound like Blair from The Facts of Life.”

“I can honestly say I’ve never seen that show.”

“Oh my God Britt, really? It’s like the gayest show ever.”

“Isn’t it super old?”

“Yeah and super gay. We’re totally going to watch it.”

“Not right now though. I mean, we don’t have electricity anyway, but also I don’t want to move.”

“I’m good with not moving ever again.” Santana smiles. “I love when you hold me like this.”

“You’re such a tiny spoon. I love that I get to cuddle with you.”

“Sometimes I can’t believe that I was scared us living together wasn’t going to work out.”

“Because you’re silly.” Brittany laughs. “Also, this is your first relationship so I get it.”

“I just don’t want anything to ever mess us up. You mean too much to me.”

“You mean that much to me too.”

“It’s really storming out there.” Santana turns her head to the window. “If it’s still raining like this tomorrow, I think we should stay naked in bed all day.”

“I’m suddenly regretting that we planned to go to the Met. I didn’t know naked all day was an option.”

“Well considering I’m not sure if I’ll be able to walk tomorrow...”

“Was I too rough with you?” Worry crosses Brittany’s face and Santana kisses her chin.

“You always make sure you’re not. It was just really good.”

“We’re good together.”

“We seriously are though.”

#brittana #nyu!au

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g0dblessthefandom · 7 years

Text

Since You’ve Been Gone – A Brittana Valentine’s Semi AU (Updated Daily Until Valentine’s Day) February 9, 2017

Five days until the big day!

February 9, 2017

It was exactly midnight when Santana snuck back into the house. She hadn’t really felt this way since they’d been in high school, and would go over to Puck’s for a kegger on a Saturday night, getting home on a few hours before dawn. Sometimes she’d Puck bring her back in his old truck. They’d sit in front of the house, and he’s slip a hand under her dress, and she’d make all the required sounds at the required moments, and when she got home, she’d take a shower and then eat her weight in doritos. It wasn’t Puck. Even if he wasn’t the best in bed, he always tried to make sure she was comfortable. He just couldn’t have known she was a gigantic lesbian. When she realized that Brittany was amenable, she started asking her for rides home. Sometimes they would stay in the car, but more often than not Santana would invite her in. They learned that if they were really quiet, they could get away with quite a bit. And instead of spending the night feeling like she needed a shower, she would cuddle with Brittany, desperate to make the night last forever.

She probably didn’t need to sneak in Mercedes’ place, but it was late, and her friend got busy pretty early in the morning. Not to mention, she and Brittany had stopped at a bar on the way home. They’d had to abandon Rachel’s car, and Uber home, but she was pretty trashed.

She stumbled out of her shoes, and walked barefoot across the foyer. It took her a moment to register as she passed by the couch that it was occupied, and the TV was on full blast. She paused to looked at the TV, noting the show.

“Ooooh, Living Single! Thasss my fave! Oh hey, Mercedes!”

Mercedes rolled her eyes, and Rachel only giggled. “A good night, I presume, Santana?”

“Yeah, Santana, you look like you emptied out the bar.”

Santana leaned over the back of the couch, between the two of them, and slid, upside down into the cushions.

Santana sleepily smiled. “It was amaaaaazing. She was so perfect. I mean, she’s always perfect, right? But she was even more perfect tonight, and I love her so muuuuuch, you guys.”

“And was her perfection amplified by the all the shots you took or…” Rachel asked.

“Shuddup, Berry. I won’t have you talk about my lady like that. Or me for that matter.”

“I wouldn’t have to Santana if you didn’t come back reeking of bottom shelf vodka.”

“Hey!” Santana, doing her best to flip herself over, failing and draping her legs loosely over Rachel’s body. “Hey! Only top shelf stuff for my Brittany.”

“She took it well, I guess?” Mercedes said, before Rachel could get going again.

“I think she had a good time. I mean, I really hope so.” She wiggled around until her head was in Mercedes lap. “I mean, it’s been a long time, and I feel like I still remember what she’s like when she’s happy. How could I forget that, right?”

Mercedes patted Santana’s head reassuringly. “I’m sure you didn’t.”

“Riiiiiiight?”

Santana’s voice had taken on a slightly whiny quality, and Mercedes worried that she might start crying soon. Santana was a weepy drunk, and Brittany seemed to be the only person on the planet who could mitigate it.

She slid from under Santana, and stood up, folding the blanket that had been covering her legs, and tugging on Santana’s arm.

“C’mon Lady Drinks-a-lot, we’ll get you to bed. You know, you really can’t hold your liquor like you used to.”

“It’s because we old, ‘Cedes. You and me and we and her…” Santana gestured towards Rachel. “Is old, alright? We’re dealing with some advanced… advanced elderliness, and we’re not getting any younger!”

“Excuse me-” Rachel started, but Mercedes shushed her quickly.

“C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

Mercedes dragged/walked Santana down the hall, and handed her some clothes to change into.

“So,, what did she say?”

Santana plopped on the bed, holding the pajamas close to her chest. “She’s not sure. Not yet, not about anything. But she’s willing to meet me halfway on somethings. She’s willing to hang out. She’s willing to talk. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than it was. We’re talking, and putting things out on the table.”

“That’s good.”

“Yes! And Mercedes, Mercedes, Mercedes.” She tried to focus on Mercedes, failed, shook her head and tried again. “I think she’s starting to remember. Like, how things were before I messed- messed- fucked it all up. Do you know what I said to her, Mercedes? When we were fighting?”

Mercedes shook her head.

“I said it was an all act. This ‘being smart’ thing. I told her she’d head out here, and they’d figure her out and she’d be crawling back to me to take care of her, the way that I had when we were kids.”

Mercedes was shocked. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Santana talk to Brittany that way.

“And, you know what? Even then, we both knew it was a lie. I help Brittany with homework and sometimes took the heat from Sue, but when things were really spirling and I was at my lowest, Brittany took care of me.” She stabbed at her chest with her finger.

“She took care of me and never asked for anything, just that I keep loving her, and somehow I forgot that.”

Mercedes came and sat beside her on the bed. “If anybody can look past that, it’s Brittany.”

“I know, but I’m not done yet. I’ve still got time, and I’ve gotta make the most of it, you know?” “

“Yeah.”

“Now, get out of here so I can change, you perv. I don’t want you getting any ideas after you see me in my cute underwear.”

“Yeah right, Santana. You never have and never will be my type.”

“Goodnight Mercedes. I love you.”

“Love you too, San. Get some sleep.”

Brittany rushed down the hall. Her class started almost ten minutes before, and she was trying not to give her students a chance to leave. Hanging out at the mall the night before had been fun. It was just like old times. It reminded her of when they were younger and freer and there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that they would be taking care of each other for the rest of their lives. It didn’t hurt that they’d drank so much afterwards that Brittany had nearly forgotten her reservations, thrown her up on the counter, and went down on her right on the bar.

Santana was still so hot.

But because of that drunken excitement, she’d woken up late that morning (with a massive hangover), and nearly missed her first class. Luckily, Jane had called to ask where she was and she barely had time to shower, dress and brush her teeth before she was in a cab and on her way to campus. She could have taught the class in her sleep, but, she had to admit, it helped to not look like she’d slept in a dumpster the night before if she wanted to make a good impression on her students. She was lucky that most of them liked her.

She burst through the room, doing her best to keep a handle on the papers that were threatening to spill out of her messenger bag, and slamming her things on her desk.

“Sorry about that, class, I was a little busy this morning, but I’m here, and no, you’re not excused.” She flipped on the computer, and waited for the din of conversation to fade. “If you remember last week we were talking about Pearson’s Quantum Horizon Theory and how it pertains to-”

She stopped.

She’d looked up from her computer, and noticed that every single student in her 200+ Quantum Theory 1 class was holding a single red rose.

Brittany furrowed her brow. “What is going on? Is the student council selling flowers or something?”

Suddenly the class started humming. She was about to ask what was happening again, but the strains seemed familiar. It was Teenage Dream by Katy Perry.

There was a weird moment of dissociation when Brittany wondered if she was so hungover she’d only dreamt she’d gotten ready for class. When in fact, she was still at home, sleeping. She pinched herself, but the strangeness continued. She was ready to smack herself awake when a door behind her opened.

You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong I know you get me So I'll let my walls come down, down Before you met me I was alright, but things were kinda heavy You brought me to life Now every February, you'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Santana emerged from the door, holding another rose and singing. When she got to the next lines, she pointed, and a group of girls stood up.

Let's go all the way tonight No regrets, just love We can dance until we die You and I, we'll be young forever

A group of boys got up and started dancing around, and Santana took the chorus.

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream The way you turn me on I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch Now baby, I believe this is real So take a chance and don't ever look back Don't ever look back

As the chorus finished, Santana threw her hands in the air, and everyone cheered. Brittany had to admit it was kind of impressive. Santana jogged towards her, and breathlessly handed her the rose. She kissed her on the cheek.

“They were awesome, right?! We only got to work on it for, like, half an hour. You guys did great!”

This brought out another cheer, and they all seemed pretty proud of themselves.

“I figured you’d be here sooner, so it actually gave us some extra time. Anyway, I know you’re meeting with Clark later, and I just wanted you to know, you know, all that.”

She kissed Brittany on the cheek again, and waved to the class. “See you nerds later. You lucked out with the best teach on campus, you know that right?”

The class cheered again, and waved to Santana as she went. Brittany stood in shocked silence another moment before running after her, followed by a chorus of “ooooooooh”s.

“Santana, wait!” Brittany still held the rose to her chest, and stopped short before she reached Santana. “Wait a second, that was amazing.” Her voice held a note of awe.

“Well, when you’ve got a talent like mine…” She smiled. “I’m kidding, Britt. They’re good kids. They all love you. Like, every single one. I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

Brittany was desperately not trying to fall into the pit of tenderness that she felt towards Santana at that moment. It clouded her judgement, made her nervous, and there was still the niggling voice in the back of her head that couldn’t shake off the fear that she’d felt whenever she talked to Santana only a few short months ago.

But she almost couldn’t help it.

Santana made to turn again. “Britt, have fun with your class, okay? I’ll see you later.”

Brittany reached out her hand again. “Santana-”

“Yeah, Brittany?”

“Does this count as a date for today? Our date for today?”

“Do you want it to?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Then it is.” Santana gave a bright smile to Brittany, her eyes full of hope. “It is if you want it to be.”

“Thanks, Santana.”

“Have a good day, Britt.”

This is a fic that will update everyday until Valentine’s Day 2017. To truly enjoy please put on (Sweet Sweet Baby) Since You’ve Been Gone by Aretha Franklin. :P

FF.net link and Ao3 link.

#brittana #glee #fanfiction #santana lopez #brittany s. pierce #mercedes jones #sugar motta #jane hayward #it wouldn't be glee without a musical number #amirite?#brittana valentine's fic

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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What effect do you feel Kurt’s friendship with Rachel had on his relationship with Blaine?

This is a really fascinating question! Thank you!

It’s interesting because I don’t think Rachel had all that much impact on Klaine for better or for worse. Let’s dig in!

Season 1 - clearly zero impact.

Season 2 - I’d argue zero impact. I’m not sure how much of a friendship I see in season 2 Hummelberry. Things I can think of off the top of my head

In Special Ed before competition Rachel and Kurt have a heart to heart, and Blaine comes by. But there’s really nothing about Blaine there.

Silly Love Songs, Kurt discusses his feeling for Blaine, but Mercedes gives out advice while Rachel talks about herself.

In BIOTA, Rachel dates Blaine, and mostly that makes Kurt dislike Rachel more, but on the positive side, Blaine is able to figure out that he is gay and no bi, which is neutral for Kurt.

In Rumors, Rachel is pro-Klaine, and wants Kurt not to cheat on Blaine with Sam, which again, is more of Kurt thinking she’s crazy.

And in New York, Kurt mentions going to New York with Blaine, to which Rachel has no objection, but again, is mostly thinking about herself.

So my conclusion is - zero effect in season 2.

Season 3 - Is tricky! Because I think it’s misleading. Kurt has duel roles during this season -- the first being Rachel’s new BFF-slash-sidekick, the second being one-half of a romantic pairing, and because Rachel is now the main character, guess which one takes precedence. Due to that, Klaine’s screen time is cut down to focus on other things, and it’s easy to blame Rachel, but I still don’t think she has a bad effect on Klaine, is mostly positive.

I’m hard pressed to remember any early instances of Rachel having anything to do with Klaine -- she seems happy that Blaine has transferred, happy about having Blaine be her co-star, happy that Klaine gets their own Bachelor Chalet, and happy to bring Blaine movies and soup when he’s out for his eye injury.

During Dance With Somebody -- she even gives Kurt some relatively good advice about not being a dick to his boyfriend, even if said boyfriend seems distant and unresponsive.

During Prom - she encourages both of them do the anti-prom with her, it’s mostly for selfish reasons, but she seems rather content that both of them are her gay bffs.

I’d say she has a rather positive influence in season 3, even if we’re personally annoyed that her presence takes away from Klaine.

Season 4 - Which I suppose people think has the most negative effect. But I think I’d argue it’s not nearly as bad as it seems, and Rachel’s a relatively supportive friend, despite the narrative still using Kurt as Rachel’s emotional prop. (Though that is not as bad as it is in season 3.)

Despite the continuing parallels found between Finchel and Klaine in season 4 (this started in season 3, after the show decided to drop paralleling Finchel with Wemma), Rachel has little to no say around the time Kurt and Blaine break up. She neither condones or condemns Blaine for cheating (not that she would have any leg to stand on in any kind of condemnation).

I’d also add that any kind of issues Klaine had before the break up due to Kurt being wrapped up in NYC had really nothing to do with Rachel - and more to do with Kurt, as an individual, moving in a new direction in his life.

During Glease, again, Rachel plays a (minimal) part in being Kurt’s supportive friend. While she is wrapped up in her own (melo-)drama, she does act supportive to Kurt when they get back to McKinley. And has little to know commentary on Blaine, and of that, is mostly reflective of her own situation.

During Thanksgiving -- she wants Kurt to be an adult with her - and while this may seem disconcerting to a Klaine fan, Kurt is in a place where he’d rather go along with her crazy cause it’s easier than trying to deal with his shit. But interestingly -- Rachel’s attitude is ‘fuck our exes’ let’s seize the new day, and that’s about it. Meanwhile, Kurt isn’t opening up to her, at all, about Blaine - and uses Isabelle as a sounding board. It’s Isabelle’s advice whom he really takes, and ends up confessing his real feelings to Blaine by the end of the episode.

During Sadie Hawkins -- she’s encouraging him to go on a date with Adam -- and while this doesn’t sound Klaine friendly, not only does she completely miss the cues that Kurt isn’t over his break up, her advice isn’t actually bad, and reminiscent of what Brittany is going to tell him in season 6 -- that he can’t just sit around and wait for things to work out with Blaine, he needs to continue on with his life.

During Glee, Actually -- she is sadden to hear that Kurt won’t be trying to reconnect with Blaine over the holidays, because even as self-involved as she is at this point, she is probably aware of how much Blaine means to him (still) and even broken up and semi-dating another guy, Kurt probably still doesn’t shut up about Blaine.

If there’s anything post Glee, Actually, I’m completely drawing a blank. Santana takes over the Klaine commentary during the I Do era, and Rachel is pretty absent during the end of the season stuff.

So... while I think she doesn’t have much of an impact on the Klaine love story in general, I think she’s trying to be a good friend to Kurt while he goes through his shit. And even though she’s framing everything through her own issues with Finn (and Brody), I do believe she has his best interests at heart. The other interesting thing to note here, though, is that Rachel is not the person Kurt confides in about Blaine - Isabelle is, and even Santana has picked up on stuff with Kurt more than Rachel.

But it’s important to note that while Kurt ends up knee deep in Rachel’s shit, Kurt plays his own heart very close to his chest, and how he feels for Blaine is not something he really shares with other people -- as very evident by this season.

Season 5 - Again, I don’t think Rachel plays that big of a part in any of the Klaine narrative.

During LLL, she makes sure she and Santana are there for the proposal -- and she’s supportive to both Kurt and Blaine in this.

I’m struggling to see where, if at all, she plays any kind of part in the Klaine narrative for most of the rest of the season. She is relatively supportive of him in his individual career moves, but really has nothing to say about Blaine. Even in the AU Christmas episode -- Santana is the one whom he discusses his feelings over what happened, and his feelings about being ‘broken up’ with Blaine.

Elliott takes on more of a role within the Klaine narrative in the meantime when he’s around.

Even in the NYC arc, Kurt doesn’t really talk to anyone (other than Elliott) about his problems with Blaine (while Blaine has Sam to talk to). And in fact -- he and Rachel are more at odds than not during this run. Blaine isn’t involved much at all.

So.... Rachel has little to no impact on the Klaine narrative here.

Season 6 - I’d say that Rachel is rather a positive influence for both of them at the beginning of the season (and then the writers kinda stopped caring about involving her in it).

In the premiere, Rachel is a good friend to both of them -- she is not negative towards either one of them during their discussions, and tries to emotionally support each of them while they deal with their emotions. She’s actually, surprisingly, a pretty good friend.

And... that’s about it unless I’m forgetting something huge. I mean, she does go looking for them in HL pt 2. But mostly, she’s a non-entity in their story. Sue, Brittany, Santana, Dave, and Walter have more influence on either of them than Rachel.

So... Rachel is has nearly zero impact, and is positive in general towards both of them.

Conclusion -

So, yeah, there are aspects of Hummelberry that I do find frustrating, especially during season 3 and 4 when Kurt becomes Rachel’s emotional prop instead of a character, but! She’s usually positive towards Klaine, is friends with Kurt and Blaine, and is supportive of whatever incarnation they’re in.

Mostly, though, I’d argue that Kurt keeps his relationship with Blaine very separate from Rachel, and she is not who he confides in for emotional support with those issues a majority of the time. I think Kurt is smart enough to know what kind of friend Rachel is, and seeks emotional validation, for the most part, from other people when it comes to Blaine. And despite the fact that as written, Hummelberry seems lopsided -- I think ultimately, she tries to be a good friend to Kurt when the writing allows it.

So, there ya go :)

#readyrex #that's how s.o. sees it #interesting right?

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