#and thats its own kit caboodle. online sucks. it sucks. like i am fully down for it id be more pissed if we were in person tbh but like.
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complainin’
#lab bitches and moans#d.o///nt re///bl.og#im. like i dont know everything is so much right now and theres nothing to be done for it you know?#ive thought for a good few years now that im Not Cis but even still i question if im faking it. and then Who I Like is a whole different#game obviously. but i think i know. like i think ive got it this time which is great that i can feel confident in knowing that about myself#but like. what do i do with it. ive basically been with two people - one over the internet (doesnt make it any less valid) and one with an#asshole who dumped me bc redacted emotional baggage. like im so goddamn lonely all the time but how do i go about fixing that? how do i get#the relationship serotonin i see everywhere else. how do i stop crying into my goddamn pillow because everything happens so much but just.#just somewhere else. and like! i cant even Go Out And Meet People to achieve that bc obviously im not gonna put people at health risk to say#hello to a stranger you know? i cant do that. so like. t/ind.er maybe or one of its clones. but then i run the risk of people in my area#That I Already Know matching with me. and either i set my profile as a girl (bad) or as a boy. which would bring up questions. and then i#would have to put that i want to see boys in my search results or whatever. and then if my profile Is Boy. then thats more questions. like#obviously im not out at home (but god is that a post for a different day because i wish i were). so this is all hypothetical#the ideal would be to meet someone on campus but its online this semester and i chose to live at home for cost and safety reasons#and thats its own kit caboodle. online sucks. it sucks. like i am fully down for it id be more pissed if we were in person tbh but like.#theres talk in circles of spring being online too and i dont know if i can do this for eight more months. oh boo hoo big baby paying big#money for school cwies because its too hawd uwu so sad get over urself but like. i dont know man#im so goddamn lonely all the time and the only people i see in person are my family members half of whom think the elgeebeeteequeue communit#community should choke and die. so. thats great. and obviously i value my online friendships but i really fuckin miss Seeing People. like#thats really what it boils down to isnt it?? is just. yeah im more of an introvert and i have anxiety but i also just. im so fucking lonely#im so tired of looking to the future and just seeing nothing because i dont know what the fuck im supposed to do anymore#classes are too much because i decided that a pandemic was the perfect time to weigh down my course load#i dont care about half these classes bc theyre a means to an end basically#and i see people in zoom that i talk to in breakout rooms and id LOVE to be their friend but theyre on campus or i dont know how to start a#conversation and just. like. i dont know man. i honestly just do not know what to do anymore#if u read this far. sorry 2 take up ur time ✌️. whats ur favorite 80s song. whats ur second favorite day of the week
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