#and some of us actually do oppose violence and acting like we shouldn't is weird and racist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

apricotjamendorsements · 2 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/apricotjamendorsements/747502338799009792/i-think-a-much-better-advocacy-slogan-for-sex-work

I think this is interesting. I want to ask — is using any other leverage besides financial need to get someone to do a given sex act standing up to this same scrutiny? A landlord says yeah ok you can stay an extra month without rent. You gotta suck my dick for it though = coercion, illegal, rape, but if he said the same thing with extra steps, ie, “you owe rent… oh you can’t pay? anyway, unrelated, yeah If you suck me off I’ll pay you the exact amount rent is” it’s suddenly “just sex”, no other context? Oh ok that’s too close. Now he refers you to his buddy who will pay. Now he just demands rent, and you happen to turn around and go “just have sex” but only if the “sex partner” in question pays a certain amount or better. And that buyer has no real way of knowing the circumstance of the woman or man (hopefully not girl or boy) is asking for a price. Why is there asking for a price, if sex is truly 100% desired?

Even when I compare to work I do for pay, that I would do some of (although in a different way) if I weren’t needing to make rent and get paid… i recognize this is exploitation. No amount of good days or silver linings or camaraderie with a boss or moments where the customer is nice or corporate does something I like for once change that. I still want a union and MORE than that I know to be free I need a society without rent. And i do resent the system that puts me here and lay a certain amount of moral culpability on anyone higher up the chain of power who does not join me in opposing it, and especially those who use their increased power to boss me around, take advantage of my position, treat me less than. Why should I recognize my position — relatively cushy compared to what I have seen of brothels even regulated Vegas ones — as exploitation and not recognize sex industry work as exploitation too? And what is it we call sexual exploitation again…?

One good thing among the bad is I am not being raped here at this job. I won’t get HIV off customers while taking the risk of working for them without a condom because it pays more. I risk knee injury and pain because I am told to not sit down for hours and can’t afford to get fired and haven’t been able to find a better job. Both are exploitation. The conditions leading to all of it should be abolished. I work toward both of those things.

I do have a coworker who has been raped by a coworker at a different job. And yeah he used his slight position over her to threaten her. There are people all over raped in exchange for promotions or not getting fired. Should we say that’s not rape, because it’s sex work, which is basically just like any regular consenting sex, because the person in question did it “willingly”, knowing the trade, and taking it? With no fighting, with seduction even. Nevermind the context.

Is the fig leaf the imaginary world where buyers don’t know the desperation of financial need and addiction is regularly involved what allow us to say “sex work is sex” (as though that means it can’t also be rape, or otherwise with dubious consent) no matter the context?

I am guessing so.

I am a real actual sex worker and I exist outside of your thought experiments. it's pretty insane of you to come into my inbox and try to convince me that the sex I agree to is the same thing as rape. If you were really motivated by compassion or empathy for me as a "victim" you would not be taking this weird intense tone. You think you're going to come up with some gotcha moment and I'll realize I really do deserve to be debanked, evicted, or banned from the US because I'm a victim.

but anyway, I'm procrastinating going back to my homework, so:

Yes, a landlord extorting sex from a tenant is sexual violence. That's not what sex work is. I feel like I shouldn't need to explain that to you. A landlord extorting sex from a tenant is only tangentially related to me going to the massage parlour and renting a space for a few hours to give handjobs.

"the buyer has no way of knowing the circumstances of the person" yes, clients should make judgements about whether a worker is doing this voluntarily, they can and they do. Similarly, if you're hooking up with someone, you should make sure they are consenting and in a good headspace

"why are they asking for a price, if the sex is 100% desired?" sex doesn't have to be "desired" to be consensual, it just has to be agreed to. I don't get turned on from giving handjobs for money, I just like money and don't mind giving handjobs. Sometimes people get turned on when they're sexually assaulted, or get sexually assaulted by people they're attracted to. 'desire' isn't what makes sex consensual, agreement is. I can see the argument for desire actually being what makes sex not rape as opposed to consent but it would be basically impossible to enforce that.

I don't agree that all paid work is exploitative. I think that's pretty assisine. I think if you are so marxismpilled that you think any waged work is exploitative you are pretty far removed from any useful definition of exploitation. Anyway, I'm an independent contractor, not a waged worker, and I have never even heard of sex workers that are waged workers. I agree that that would probably be exploitative. I agree that you should have a union. There are many sex worker unions and collectives, which you would know if you knew what you were talking about. One obstacle to these unions and collectives is criminalization.

I think abusive management is bad. The great thing about sex work is that it is really easy to change clubs if you don't like management, and it's fairly easy to do independently. I am the person with the power in a management-worker relationship because I am the one providing the service, they are just the ones who own the venue.

"I don't get raped at work" cool, me neither. Imagine if I had been raped at work and you sent me this. Psychopathic behaviour.

"I don't risk HIV at work" cool, me neither. (Well, I mean, I have like a 1 in 20000 chance, I don't know how that compares to nurses and tattoo artists.) Some people choose to have anal sex for money or for free. It's not illegal to have anal sex. Some people also have irresponsible unprotected sex. I never have, I probably wouldn't have sex with a boyfriend without a condom. I think it is immoral to have unprotected sex outside of a relationship but I don't think you should be arrested, evicted, or debanked for doing so.

"I do have a coworker who was raped at a different job." I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she has healed now. "should we not call that rape, because it happened at work?" No, and no one has ever thought that. Whether something is rape has nothing to do with the location it occured in, obviously.

I object to abusive conditions in sex work, obviously. I also object to abusive conditions in marriages, casual sex, and relationships. The Vegas ranches are NOT cushy btw. I don't know anyone who worked there but I've heard bad things. I don't want sex work regulation partially just because it would be inconvenient for me to get a licence but also because regulation is rarely on the side of the worker.

I also really don't agree that addiction is "regularly" involved. It's probably more common than in the general population. I don't know if it's more common than in restaurants or construction sites.

let me present you a different thought experiment. imagine that I will only have a sex with a guy if he buys me dinner and buys me shoes. i put that on my tinder bio, and I'm not especially picky with the guys as long they send me a pic of their ID or they have a female friend to vouch for them. maybe I lose my shoes one day and also I'm broke so I can't afford dinner, so I get on tinder. that is basically how I conduct sex work. you are perfectly justified in calling that distasteful, immoral, or degrading, but I still shouldn't be evicted, debanked, or arrested for that, and neither should the guys.

#secrets #whoreposting #rape cw agdjgjkgkyk

0 notes