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#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other
blueslight
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1 year
Text
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#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy
#and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would
#lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for
#evidently not making it clear enough to her
#cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean
#and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my
#composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im
#in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite
#and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses
#my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her
#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other
#friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP..
#plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes
#got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy ..
#and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that
#is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help
#and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further
#and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE
#GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING
#idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be
#friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like
#Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me
#and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly
#like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...
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