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rkxhyunjin · 6 years

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✧ MGAS SEASON FOUR: GROUP PERFORMANCE - THE CLASSICS

team d(ream)’s performance of myname’s before the dawn for the 2011 classics group performance of episode 3 with hwang hyunjin covering kim seyong

＃４００６（　jang moonbok　）　＃４０２３（　park kyungri　）　＃４０３１（　lee jeno　）　＃４０３３（　lee luda　）　＃４０４２（　hwang hyunjin　）

preparation: ( july 9 ) ( july 10 ) ( july 11 ) ( july 12 )　　

dream – a hand eclipses his face, eyes tracking the motion until it’s stretched out far and above the origin

．．．☆　☽

Only recently has Hyunjin started to dream once again.

Reality was far from kind, incessantly grinding down dreams and hopes until all that existed were fanciful pipe dreams; mere unreachable concepts. Limits defined by reality hit the dancer full force as a child, repeatedly knocking him off his feet until the only breath he took was suffocated under the harsh authority of reality’s domain.

Reality dictated that he was pitiful. Parents unable to hear the cries of their child were certainly unable to properly raise a growing boy. A boy who mumbled out half-intelligible responses certainly could never achieve in this society. A boy who smiled easily like a fool. A boy whose fingers twitched every other sentence. Hyunjin was defined by reality as a leftover; surplus to be eliminated and forgotten in the mass of perfected normalcy which populated the globe.

Reality is what Hyunjin has been fighting against since the moment he was born. Defying the odds and achieving where others sought to watch him fail, another addition to their pre-defined statistics. First in his primary school. One of one-hundred-twenty who was admitted to Seoul Science High School. One of approximately 6,000 children of deaf adults in the entirety of South Korea. One of fifty-four to make it past the preliminary auditions of the Mnet Global Auditions, Season 4.

Every rule that reality creates and Hyunjin breaks is another aspiration that finds itself into his dreams. They spill out of his sleep into early waking hours when there’s no one on the subway but him. They seep into his steps as he moves to the beat of the music, nudging him forward one step at a time. They fill his mind with possibilities reaped from the wildest corners of his imagination that he has never considered attainable. They give him dreams.

．．．☆　☽

The announcement of their upcoming group performance had Hyunjin’s mind in quiet shambles. Worried not about the members of his group and their skills, the dancer was more worried about his own capabilities and whether they would be up to standard. From the second round of auditions alone, the talent within the remaining contestants was more than clear; staring straight-on into Hyunjin’s eyes as he willed himself to approach the challenge with a clear mind and steady mentality.

If his rigorous academics had taught him one thing, it was when to prioritise his feelings, and when to push them back. Thoughts of self-doubt would do him no good, and if he truly wanted to become an asset to his team, he had to be fully present for each and every practice. There wasn’t time for Hyunjin to be so caught up in his own perceived inadequacies.

That wasn’t to say that deprecating thoughts didn’t sneak in here and there. They would find their way into his mind when he was at his weakest, sweating on the floor of the practice room and too tired to pull himself up. His mind would split amidst a cacophony of smothering thoughts and he’d lie there, for minutes, staring at nothing as indecision ate away at the stability which kept him going. Eventually he’d get past it, he always did, but that never made it easier when it finally caught up.

His mind was just so full. Full of crammed in exam information telling him what to write and what to think. Full of pressure reminding him what his education meant to him, and his family. Full of too many late nights and early mornings in a row. Full of lyrics and choreography and expression and rhythm. Full of awareness that people now knew who he was, and he wasn’t just a simple nobody anymore.

There were times when even dancing couldn’t provide Hyunjin with his normal reprieve from his own thoughts. School would force itself in, and he’d be reciting questions from memory to the beat of the song, hands pressing against the floor and pushing himself up as he moved on to a different portion of the exam with the start of the dance break.

Below are the structural formulate for compounds (가), (나), and (다), which are used as surfactant. What is the set of all correct statements from the choices? ( a ) The pH of an aqueous solution of (다) is lower than 7 ( b ) As an aqueous solution, (가) has a greater electrical conductivity than (나) ( c ) (다) is more difficult to biodegrade with microbes than (가)

A full mind wasn’t about to stop Hyunjin from practicing, but how he wished he could just let loose and simply not think.

．．．☆　☽

In terms of experience, this competition was the first time that Hyunjin had collaborated with other artists in an environment like this. With very few portions of his daily life intersecting the musical arts, his opportunities to interact were sparse and almost downright rare. That wasn’t to say he wasn’t eager to do so – the dancer looked upon this event with nervous anticipation, eager to meet more people who were like-minded in pushing and exploring the limits of their own musical boundaries.

When it came time to decide a leader, Hyunjin purposefully didn’t step up. While a part of him wasn’t sure whether or not he was confident enough to lead an entire team of people, he knew that even if he was fully confident it wouldn’t be right for him to assume the position. Still in his last week of the semester, Hyunjin had cram school in the evenings that often interrupted them mid-training, causing him to leave early. Of course, he came back to practice later, but by the time he was back at the studio most of them had already left. Not that he could blame them, arriving past eleven at night almost certainly meant taking the subway back home was out of the question. Unless they lived close by, eleven was the latest most could manage and still get back home.

If the dancer wanted to be the leader, Hyunjin would have had to be someone that the team could rely on 24/7, and while Hyunjin liked to think the team could rely on him should the need arise, he knew that based on his schedule he just simply wasn’t able to provide the support a leader should. Cell phone use was strictly prohibited during both the mock exams and cram school courses, effectively cutting him off from the rest of the world for hours on end. Their team needed someone who would and could fully dedicate themselves and their time to their performance.

Kyungri made for an excellent leader. Her drive gave Hyunjin motivation to push on through days of mind-numbing exhaustion. The singer knew the ins and outs of their team; knew what every individual needed to thrive while also acknowledging the difficulty of integrating their skills into one cohesive unit. Their team may not be the most balanced, but what team was? Balance comes with time and even if their time is short, it will come to their team as well.

Unremitting anxiety forced Hyunjin back into the studio at asinine hours, unable to relieve the itch to improve and perfect his performance. The dancer wanted to achieve as close to perfection as possible by the time they stepped onto that stage, and to get there, he had to make sure they were able to make the best out of the limited time they did have to practise together. Sure, maybe more nights than he had planned for had been spent in the training rooms – but honestly, there wasn’t much of a choice. Even if he rushed after cram school to make it back to the studio, by the time Hyunjin finished practising it was often too late to make the hour-and-a-half subway commute home. It was just easier to sleep in the practice rooms and leave in the morning. The dancer was the one with the conflicting schedule, and it was his duty to make sure that during the times he was there, he had his parts mastered so the group could focus on their cohesiveness as a team, not a move or portion that he couldn’t quite get right.

Occasionally, he would wake up in the morning to see Luda quietly dancing in the studio, a comfortable peace settling between them as he got ready to leave the studio and head back to school. A small wave followed by an encouraging smile and, “Have a nice day” making most of their interaction. But it was still more than Hyunjin had had in a long time, and he liked it. There was something oddly comforting about waking up and seeing someone else awake as well.

There was one particularly memorable night when Moonbok came into the studio. In a little bit of a slump, Hyunjin was worried that he might’ve been a little too harsh in his phrasing when all he had meant was to say something comforting. But they get to practising together, and Moonbok does improve. He doesn’t think the other man is a bad dancer, he’s just missing some of the foundations – but after this, the other would certainly have the tools to continue dancing if he so pleased. Hyunjin has no doubt about that.

Hyunjin has the fewest run-ins with Jeno, but the few times they do catch each other in the practice room are enjoyable. It’s somehow relieving (and a little nuanced) to interact with another dancer. They can discuss the minute changes and differences that make or break the dance’s expression and tone; can correct and refine with ease. (A part of Hyunjin hopes they can maintain contact in the future, he’s sure he could learn a lot from the other boy).

After some deliberation they had decided on Myname’s Before the Dawn. The dance, while not terribly difficult in technicalities, emphasized in-sync movement with a ‘key move’ to top it off. In addition, the individual parts were also spread relatively equal in relation to the positions on their team. That wasn’t to say that any one of them could have pulled off their own parts with ease. Each of them required a bit of pushing to make it, but Hyunjin didn’t think it was impossible to do so. In fact, a part of him reveled in the challenge.

Reviewing the song, Hyunjin had asked for Kim Seyong’s part. While he wasn’t as good a rapper as Moonbok, the part left the rapper centre-stage for the dance break and Hyunjin was confident enough in his dance abilities to want to tackle this part. It also left him centre-stage for their key move, a scorpion-like movement. The result was a picture of refined elegance that reeked of power and physical control, swallowing the physical exertion and aspiring to replace it with effortless ease. Incidentally, Kim Seyong’s part also left Hyunjin centre stage for the ending of the song, responsible for closing their performance with a bang.

Never before had Hyunjin taken on this level of responsibility, but he was determined to deliver the best performance he could – leaving no room for regrets.

．．．☆　☽

When it comes to Hyunjin’s introduction, he doesn’t hesitate to start signing along as he speaks, hands just as enthusiastic as the wide smile on his lips, “Hello everyone, I am Dream’s Hwang Hyunjin. We all worked really hard to bring a stage with no regrets that you’ll enjoy, so please anticipate it!”

After a week of being trapped in his own head, once Hyunjin gets into position and the music begins, his mind goes blissfully blank. A blank that he’s been yearning for even in his dreams. Hyunjin takes a step back and let’s his body work on autopilot, carrying him across the stage using a template etched into his skin and muscles. Nothing about academics. No bouts of anxiety trying to creep up his throat. No self-doubt trying to dismantle his performance before its even properly begin. It’s just him and his body, reduced to the familiar physicality that Hyunjin has always spoken.

Without knowing, I step on your shadow I’m probably gradually getting crazier (Because I listen to my heart beat one by one) To my eyes that sees everything to be dark, You’re the only one that shines brightly (Because I listen to my heart heart heart)

Entering centre-stage, even Hyunjin’s mouth is working from muscle memory, enunciating each of the words as if he still had a pen in his mouth.

In the next moment he’s turning until his stomach is pressed against the floor. Hands face forward on the flat of the ground as his back leg kicks back, creating the ‘tail’ of the ‘scorpion’ before his body rights itself. At the back of his mind, Hyunjin is keenly aware of the others around him during this moment – pride slipping down his spine as he finds each of his teammates had completed the move successfully. Even Moonbok. As much as the dancer would like to smile in this moment, he keeps himself collected, face showing nothing but clean-cut confidence and charisma as their performance continues.

I’ll hold on tightly so you can’t leave I’ll grab onto you so I won’t have to cry No matter how many times you throw me away, Or how much you prevent it, I’m never going to let you go

They’re coming to the last stretch, and Hyunjin makes his way up centre-stage as he raps, moving up one beat at a time until he ends. Centre-stage and panting and so exceedingly euphoric he can’t help but crack a smile.

They did it.

#rkmga4 #rkmga4classics #«　era: hhj.mga4　»#⁽　with: jenork　⁾#⁽　with: moonbokrk　⁾#⁽　with: rkxluda　⁾#⁽　with: rkkyungri　⁾#performance

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i-remember-there-was-mist · 7 years

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Things I used to believe about theatre and singing...

And why I don’t believe them anymore.

The myth: I’m going to go to college and rapidly go to Broadway and live out my days performing in NYC. The reality: Man, I have so much to learn. Broadway is not the only goal, and only a very, very small number of actors ever get to perform there. I can still have that as a goal (although my goals are very different now!) but I should stop expecting that it’s somehow the logical path that I will find myself on. This career is way, way harder than I ever expected, and that level of theatre is one most of us only get to watch from afar.

The myth: The people on Broadway are just particularly spectacular and special. The reality : Everyone is spectacular. The people on Broadway are there because they’re great, they know the right people, they were lucky, they worked their butts off...But they’re not unique. There are thousands of other people who are at the same level as them who didn’t have the connection, who didn’t get lucky, and will never be on Broadway because of that.

The myth: When I watch people who are really, really skilled, it’s because they are just naturally better than me. The reality: They worked their butts off and put so many hours into their craft, and that’s why they are so good. It’s not a mystery. You put in the work, you get the result. No shortcuts.

The myth: If I drink milk before I sing I will perish in a thousand singing hells. The reality: Man, I’m not impacted by dairy when I sing, and I don’t need to be scared of consuming it. Some people are very impacted by it. It’s a personal thing and people’s different genetics will play into how much different substances impact their singing!

The myth: I have to choose between belting and legit singing. I can’t do both. The reality: Heh, yeah, no. I have to pick a technique that embraces both styles in a healthy, safe way. I can have it all, but I have to be wise about how I choose my technique in order to have it all.

The myth: If I’m not on Broadway by the time I’m 21, I’m a failure. The reality: See truth number one, but also...The people on Broadway are, on average, much older than you think they are. ‘Nuff said.

The myth: I won’t need a side job in order to sustain myself. The reality: There are times my theatre can sustain me by myself, but even the best of us need secondary income for when we’re in-between gigs. Even Broadway performers are not employed 100% of the year. That side job doesn’t have to be waiting tables or retail, but it’s unwise to think I don’t have to do anything other than perform.

The myth: If I don’t like super obscure musicals, then I’m not a real musical theatre fan. The reality: Wicked rocks. I love Phantom of the Opera. I’m allowed to like whatever I want.

The myth: According to almost every educator I ever encountered...”If you can do anything else other than theatre for a career, do it.” The reality: This is asinine. Actors are multi-faceted, intuitive, witty, smart people... All of us could do other things with our lives. There’s not a single one of us who couldn’t succeed in another field. Not all of us will be mathematicians, no, but to say that the only way we should pursue theatre is if we can literally do nothing else? Well that’s silly, because actors are badass and can do a lot of things.

The myth: I will always have two months to rehearse all my shows. The reality: Hahahahahaha, nope.

The myth: I will love every single show I do, and every role will be fulfilling. The reality: Honestly, those are the special ones. Those are the ones that we go through all of this for. But the reality is, I do lots of shows that I have no emotional connection to. Where I don’t get sad when it’s done. That doesn’t mean I work any less hard on it, or value it any less. But not every gig is fulfilling artistically.

The myth: I can’t have a family, a pet, or a home if I’m an actor. The reality: It’s true that if I went on a tour for a year, I couldn’t have a cat. But if you want to prioritize those things, you can absolutely have them. You can’t have everything, but if those things are important to you, you can make it happen by sacrificing some opportunities.

The myth: I will always have an understudy for when I’m sick. The reality: I’ve never had an understudy in my entire life.

The myth: If I just work hard enough, I will get the role. The reality: There are way, way more facets to casting decisions than I will ever understand, so there is no reason to be hard on myself when I don’t get a role. If I did my best, that’s all I can ask for--the rest is up to them, and I’m not a worse actor because I didn’t fit exactly what they were looking for, or someone fit it better.

The myth: Every cast will be as close as they were when I was in high school. The reality: It’s a job, and while I do make friends doing my job, it’s very, very different than it was in high school. You come together for a handful of weeks, work really hard and trust each other a lot, but often you then go off to your own life and don’t see them again until the next show. And that’s okay! If every cast was as close as some of my high school casts were and we were all as attached as we were back then, it’d be awfully exhausting and depressing every couple of weeks when a show ended. So it’s really for the best.

The myth: I will never be able to sustain myself as a performer and I’m probably just kidding myself by trying to do this. The reality: Bam, 18 year old Christine, what were you thinking. You’ve got this, and you are exceeding your wildest dreams.

What myths did you have in theatre that have been dispelled at one point or another? I’d love to hear them!

#big post #myths #reality

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collymore · 7 years

Text

How reality excelled even my wildest imaginings (Poem)

By Stanley Collymore

As a logical exposition it was effectively an abstract notion:

merely a small part of my growing up experiences and in

numerous ways not all that different, if at all, I would

have anticipated from the expectation of many other

heterosexual persons who recurrently day dream

about them having children of their own and

in the customary situation of those living in

the United Kingdom rarely, but not wholly impossibly so,

even choosing to get married first, abortion however

always being a customary change of mind option

for them, before they randomly opt to conceive

and subsequently give birth to the offspring

they claim and also convince themselves

they truthfully coveted. Yet here I am,

a very welcoming, eventually as it

happened, and a consummately

living reality that that earlier

hypothesized ambition but

now the plainly physical

conclusion of what, in

harmoniously adult

and marital terms

I’d knowingly

and happily

become.

A parent me in this ensuing process, and no less so a truly

fortunate, honoured and divinely blessed father to an

absolutely gorgeous daughter and, by any rational

definition, a breathtakingly handsome son. But

notwithstanding all this nothing whatever in

this specific and phenomenal process can

remotely compare with the actions and private involvement

of my personal partner and loving wife to whom I shall

always eternally be grateful for your massive, noble

and ongoing assistance, as well as the gargantuan

and tremendously beneficial contribution that

from the very beginning of our relationship

and increasingly throughout it as partner

and a most supportive spouse, which

you’ve always been, have in that

role evidently made and quite

unselfishly carried on doing

so in what is astoundingly

for me with you beside

me a heaven-sent and

very honoured life.

19 October 2017.

Author’s Remarks:

If randomly a number of people were to be asked why they or others who have them had children or contemplated having them there would be a diversity of responses to that question ranging from the terse and impolite what business is it of yours what other people do with their lives to the obvious look of amazement on the respondents’ faces coupled with the remark of why shouldn’t they? It’s a free country, isn’t it?

But pressed on this specific subject matter and additionally asked to do so regardless of the clear repercussion of them doing so, I’ll wager a thousand pounds to a penny that the responses to that question would be more numerous in number than they are grains of sand on an idyllic Barbadian or other Caribbean beach. And the reason is quite simple.

For although most people feel quite strongly that having children is a personal choice for the individuals concerned and in any country that honestly or even sanctimoniously boasts of being a democracy that state of affairs ought to inviolately remain so with neither political, religious, economic or other social diktats determining who should be the chosen and privileged ones to have children, when they can do so and how many they ought to be permitted to have, there is nevertheless among these same groups of people a very pronounced disgust at, as well as an understandable antipathy towards those who having exercised their individual right to have kids not only have them for what’s unquestionably blatantly asinine and inappropriately sickening reasons but also proceed and even murderously inflict some of the noticeably most notoriously damning atrocities on their offspring who, to put it bluntly, didn’t ask to be born.

All-encompassing and profoundly psychological traumas that those who survive these kinds of atrocities inflicted on them not uncommonly and often invariably silently and non-supportively from others are psychologically forced to endure for the rest of their life. A state of affairs that is routinely induced in them and where they either consciously decide not to have children of their own or else in turn become themselves abusing parents, and in a situation which not only then underpins itself but more often than not takes several generations subsequently to actually break and eventually destroy the dreadful legacy of harm and devastation that both intuitively and intentionally have been caused.

And while I don’t personally subscribe to the notion, nor will I ever do so, that other peoples’ diktats should form and determine the criteria of who among the rest of us should have kids and furthermore the circumstances or the eligibility for granting such “concessions” to them, I’m nevertheless rather perplexed and have been for some considerable time over one particular aspect of child-begetting and the resultant rearing of children that few among our 65 millions of citizens throughout Britain seem not to have a handle on and consequently, because of utterly purblind ignorance on the part of most of them, do absolutely nothing about!

And isn’t it absolutely amazing and completely pathetic at the same time that across the whole of the United Kingdom while, for instance, you can’t lawfully drive a car or other motor vehicle regardless of how competent you are at doing so unless you’ve had instructive driving lessons and subsequently passed and are in possession of a valid Ministry of Transport certificate of competence to do so, in other words a driver’s licence – and quite rightly too I say – whereupon you’re then entitled to at will if you so desire wreak road-rage and other malevolent havocs on our highways if you care to; or come to that own a television even if you don’t watch the BBC or care to do so without having paid for and acquired the requisite television licence, anyone, including underage British school children, can none the less have sex, conceive or impregnate someone of the female gender and blithely have children in the process. And no one, and quite ignorantly so it seems gives a damn or shows any concern as regards tutoring not only our very immature youngsters but many exceedingly irresponsible adults as well about the possible and damaging consequences not only for them but also our entire nation as well.

I’m not talking about indoctrination or any other kind of coercion, nor would I ever in a million light years stupidly and unconscionably advocate any such thing. Instead, what I’m sincerely, sensibly, straightforwardly and intelligently advocating as well as proactively and practicably calling for is a universally state promoted and subsidized, as well as a decidedly competent and professionally administered, nationally rolled out and completely financially paid for from our general taxation, all-inclusive, completely free to everyone, non-political, non-religious but in essence an essentially secular, minus every trace of dogmatic exclusivism, well-informed and a constructively discursive approach to living one’s life, choosing to have a family or not to do so without any attendant opprobrium, antagonism, hostile criticism or disdain for making one’s own and well-informed decision on such matters.

A win-win situation is how I see it. For if the state can idiotically spend billions of pounds, dollars, Euros or whatever currency they choose to use on pointless and destructive wars how about diverting a mere fraction of those enormous sums of money into a project whose current and long-term consequences can only be beneficial for the entire nation as a whole. Since a truly confident, well-informed and psychologically empowered, as apart from a thoroughly manipulated and mentally abused, public will naturally choose politicians and public officials whose goals and concerns are in the best interests of the people and country they’re actually elected to represent, as distinct from what is presently the status quo. And just think too of the overall positive outcomes not only nationally also globally.

So this article and the attendant poem: “How reality excelled even my wildest imaginings” is for all of you who’ve been there, done it, experienced all the trials and tribulations cast in your way and got the T-Shirt to show it! (Smile). As well as those of you who instinctively feel that there’s an infinitely better way to have and raise children, but even so haven’t a clue how best to go about it.

��=yd�

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collymore · 7 years

Text

How reality excelled even my wildest imaginings (Article)

By Stanley Collymore

As a logical exposition it was effectively an abstract notion: merely a small part of my growing up experiences and in numerous ways not all that different, if at all, I would have anticipated from the expectation of many other heterosexual persons who recurrently day dream about them having children of their own and in the customary situation of those living in the United Kingdom rarely, but not wholly impossibly so, even choosing to get married first, abortion however always being a customary change of mind option for them, before they randomly opt to conceive and subsequently give birth to the offspring they claim and also convince themselves they truly coveted.

Yet here I am, a very welcoming, eventually as it happened, and a consummately living reality of that previously hypothesized ambition but now the distinctly physical outcome of what, in both adult and marital terms, I would consciously become.

A parent me, in this ensuing process, and no less so a truly fortunate, honoured and divinely blessed father to an absolutely gorgeous daughter and, by any rational definition, a breathtakingly handsome son.

But in spite of all this nothing in this specific and phenomenal process can remotely compare with the actions and personal involvement of my personal partner and loving wife to whom I shall always eternally be grateful for your massive, unselfish and ongoing assistance as well as the gargantuan and tremendously beneficial contribution that from the very beginning of our relationship and progressively throughout it as partner and spouse you’ve always made and selflessly continue to do so in my life.

��=7��

0 notes