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#and now I feel dumb...like god ofc she doesnt wanna hang with me im terribly boring
sapphic-woes · 2 years
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Great.
#i think there was some miscommunication with my roomie and i thought we were gonna hand out today#but i think she went home to see her ma which i swear she said was gonna happen next weekend but like#i dunno like she kinda disappeared and like she could come back but its been hrs and like all classes were cancelled for a footbal game#and she said shed be free yk and i talked abt what i thought we could do and everything like an idiot#and like i dont wanna ask cuz shes been gone for hours and itll seem like i was just waiting for her#which like i kinda was;;; like i wrote and watched youtube but rlly i was like oh we gonna hang out :)#and now I feel dumb...like god ofc she doesnt wanna hang with me im terribly boring#and ik this rant is like. not wat yalk signed up for ik i sound rlly pathetic here but shes my only friend like physically at campus cuz#i had a rlly bad freshman yr and i spiralled and when i finally managed to interact eith ppl it was just her for basically then till senior#and im trying to like not be so isolated these days but im very very very socially anxious and frankly despite my rbf ppl just scare me#i would much rather be a hermit. i think it is a v safe and satisfying life except for the gaping holes of loneliness i feel occasionally#like rn sibsidndisn#i wish i had friends but like friends means talking abd i cannot;;; i just like...like i can hold a convo i can smile i can fake#but god the whole time im melting into a puddle of noooooooooo#anyways i was rlly like ...proud i suggested we hang and proud i thought of a movie night with!!! a drinking game and everything!!!#only to be like 'oh its been three hrs i think shes not in town anymore??'#idbskdheidn im so stupid;;;;;;
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