#and ive been gathering all our family photos and things so theyll have memories
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Well, one year to go
#well at least im trying for that#ive scheduled round two for alaska and hopefully i see the lights this time#and my second favorite band announced yesterday they're coming here with guess who? another of my favorite bands#(blackbriar and battle beast may 2024)#i literally said the other day id be happy if i got to see them and now they're coming! can you believe it#but im tired...my health has plummeted and i am not doing well#im not going to last#ive just got to hold out for these last bucket list items#so im trying for the auora again in september around the equinox#ugh it's so bad im hooked up to shit all day now and constantly have to monitor tachycardia for instance#im exhausted. i can barely breathe. it hurts so much. i never stop shaking and spasming now#but hey ive started playing dnd...finally found a group. so that's crossed off my list too and it's been very fun so far#i need to get the motivation to read all the books i want to read#it aint in my control though...i just have to hope i can hold out until september#ive been trying lots of new foods but there's still so much more i want to try#but yeah im tired...every day i wake up from pain and feel like im going to die...if i sleep at all#even clare has given up it's progressed too much#but im trying. im trying#and ive been gathering all our family photos and things so theyll have memories#me and my dad take a selfie every time he visits too#idk. there's not a whole lot i can say without making people sad but it's been so much lately#i struggle to scrape through the pain every day. it's been 14 years. i just want to be free#it's not like i want to die...i just want to be free of the pain and rest finally#wish me luck#p
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