#and ive JUST managed to boot out all the stupid insecure drivel ive been letting fill my head rent free bc im SICK of it
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been wanting to work out all day so I did when I got back even tho it was just for 20 mins bc i still have period cramps but all its done is make me jittery + on the Brink of extremely angry
#I DONT EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO BE MAD ABOUT MY MIND KEEPS TRYING TO MAKE SHIT UP STOPPIT#i need a fucking punching bag in my room or smth im going to start biting#and ive JUST managed to boot out all the stupid insecure drivel ive been letting fill my head rent free bc im SICK of it#but now my brain desperately wants me to be insecure so i can justify getting angry at other ppl when rly theres NO EXCUSE#im going to backflip off the roof. can i just be normal for once please#bitches with emotional dysregulation issues be like:#at the very least. i genuinely seem to be managing it well enough to not affect other people so thats something#earlier my flatmate was talking abt seasonal depression and was like at least u dont rly get that right?#like hoooooly fucking shit my masking has clearly hit a new unprecendented high#i think shes a bit immune to reading me emotionally but even so#i have so little control over how i feel but at least its self contained. like as long as theres that i can deal with fucking anything#god knows i have! anyway. gotta get my shit ready for work tomorrowww its my 1 month appraisal im gonna Shit Myself#gonna read a bit and try to calm this over i wanna go to bed early but i wont be able to sleep if im still running this hot#slams my head into the doorframe. OKAY BYE#.diaries
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