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#and it'd be pointless considering she's never going to change her mind no matter what any of us say
constantvariations · 10 months
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My scavenge for screenshots that I might use in an upcoming video essay led me to Lilith Fairen’s blog where, lo and behold, she apparently saw this post of mine and decided she had to talk about it
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That’s an interesting way to say “the blog has me blocked, so I can’t reblog the OG post.” Fairen, you know what a block means, right? It means I don’t consent to you being on my damn blog. So either you don’t understand what boundaries are or you think it’s okay to ignore them so long as it’s the right kind of person you’re invading. Neither of which reflect well on you
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coffeeismyblo0d · 3 years
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By The Society's Needs
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TW // Minor Misgendering
Beep! Beep! Beep!
The sound rang through Aspen's already tired ears, reminding them of what was to be expected, and what was not to be expected. They turned,  looking at their annoyingly loud phone which displayed the time: 7:05.
Aspen slammed their hand down on the phone, sighing softly as it shut off the alarm,  which felt glorious to them this early the morning. They heard the loud yelling of their neighbors,  who were just on the other side of the thin walls.  They also heard a rather loud thumping noise, of which they desperately hoped was a exercise  machine upstairs, despite knowing the truth behind it.
Aspen launched themselves up, stretching their arms and back out. This had been part of their routine for a while, the only exceptions coming during sick days, which were few in numbers, fortunately. Aspen looked around their room for a moment,  trying to find what they were looking for amongst the littered sketches of outfits to be.
"Ah yes,  there you are." They held their rediscovered binder up in triumph,  despite being alone at the moment. Their binder was special to them of course.  After all, it sealed a lot of insecurities about their body away with what little changes it made.
Aspen hopped on one foot as they tried pull both the binder and a sock on at the same time. Of course, this was a major struggle for them, as the binder was a binder, and a sock is on your foot. Both were on opposite points of the body.
Aspen turned toward the full length mirror in their room, despite one sock halfway off of their foot. They hummed, tilting their head at themselves.
"What should we go for today bud..?" They looked at their succulent.  "Of course,  you're throwing a fit.  I'm sorry but too much water might kill you." They giggled softly, clipping the binder back enough so it fully reduced everything.  "There. I think that will look great."
"And we'll go...." Aspen looked at the closet full of outfits,  outfits that fit many different moods and aesthetics. They grabbed an outfit that included items sewn by them themselves, such as overalls, an 'ugly' sweater, and others that went along with them. Aspen chose a pair of short boots as an addition to the outfit, smiling. "I think I'm going to look great today. "
They turned towards the clock on their bedside table,  which had been handpainted by a local artist. The clock read 7:15. Aspen smiled.  "Right on track, I am."
Once done getting dressed, Aspen grabbed their bag and walked out the door,  rubbing their eyes.  How they were still tired, was a question that would likely be left unanswered.
"Let's hope you start..." Aspen muttered, turning their key in the car. They let out a sigh of relief as it turned on without stalling as they attempted to turn music on.  "Thank you..."
They started their drive to work,  groaning as their music refused to load. "At least the car started, that's all I could ask for.." They muttered, eyeing their bag of fabric and other assorted sewing items. A bag that hadn't been touched in a long time.
"Someday buddy, someday." Aspen patted the bag, waiting in traffic. Their eyes drifted over for just a moment,  seeing the scammer like looking teen on the sidewalk. Every place had scams,  even if you lived somewhere remote. And the bustling city was no exception to this rule, especially downtown.
As soon as they were able, Aspen continued driving. They loved yet hated the activity.  They loved it because it gave them inspiration,and they hated it because it was terrifying.
Another reason to hate driving was where it took Aspen. The job yet to enlighten them was kept only because of Aspen's license. A license that Aspen wishes would have been nonexistent,  and would allow them to live a life. A life where their own business was possible.
The job may have felt constricting,  but Aspen didn't want to get into a deeper hole than the one they were already in financially. The job supported them. There was no way-if they were sane- that they would quit.
"Astroplanes." Aspen muttered as they pulled up to the big building. "The bane of my existence."
The building itself wasn't decked out in anything too special.  The logo was in neon lights, but that was otherwise it for the dread filled building.  Remove the logo, and it would likely be unrecognizable next to it's store counterpart.
The inside of each building was different in it's own way, aside from the store being the store,  and the building being where everything was designed.  The employees at the store seemed much more interactive and alive, even if on their last strain of life. Where as in here, they seemed dead, with few of the employees cheerful.
"Morning." Aspen's coworker waved,  sipping her coffee as she walked past them. "The big lady is here today." She sighed. "Just warnin' ya kid."
"Well that's great. " Aspen smiled,  sounding cheerful to their fellow worker. Inside,  they were screaming in rage,  because corporate officials were always unpleasant.
Aspen sat down at their workspace, pulling out the sketchbook they saved for work. It was filled with ideas they wanted to fulfill,  but couldn't,  and ones they didn't quite enjoy, but knew were required to produce into a true product.
In Aspen's eyes, fashion was fluid,  and had no limits.  There was no feminine or masculine in what they saw, because they wanted their demographic to wear what they saw as validating. There was no limit to how 'crazy' a look could be in Aspen's head. Everyone should have their size that fits and look great,  was something along the lines of Aspen's thinking.
Astroplanes differed very much from one of their many overworked employees,  as one expensive company does. They marketed everything towards women, and made everything feminine.  There was nothing super crazy,and looks lacked simple,  yet amplifying touches,  such as a single patch.  The sizes for what was sold the most didn't expand far, and many things marketed as plus size were not considered as fashion as the mainstream products.
Aspen had nothing against the clothes themselves,  because an outfit looks great to someone no matter what the outfit is made of.  It was the way that Astroplanes went about their products,  and how employees and customers alike were treated that didn't sit right with Aspen.
They couldn't help but wonder what went through someone's head to not acknowledge the truth about companies like Astroplanes. Then again,  they knew it'd be pointless to point out flaws, as they'd just get squished like the tiniest ant outside of it's hill.
Aspen sighed as they stared at the blank page, tapping the eraser of their pencil on the woodtop desk. They started sketching,  looking at the figure they had drawn.  They continued to sketch, drawing whatever they pleased, ignoring the tall slim woman in the background.
The result was spectacular,  in short. It displayed a colorful suit,  of which did not particularly define the model's identity.
"What is this?"
"I-" Aspen turned,  met with the bright red face of the company's owner, who was clearly angry. "It's my own design ma'am. "
"We can not have this." The woman scoffed. "This is far beyond the goals of my company!"
"I apologi-"
"You absolute digust of a woman!" She spat, her eyes narrowed.  "I never want something like that ever again,  especially from you."
Aspen resisted the urge to reach up and punch the company's owner. They were beyond angry at getting yelled at for a design, and offended by the incorrect use of pronouns,  when they had a very visible pin on their jacket reading 'THEY/THEM'.
"Yes ma'am. " Aspen responded,  trying to sound as kind as possible after the last moment.
They watched the woman walk away. They let out a sigh of relief and rolled their eyes.  They flipped to a different page in their sketchbook, starting on a completely different design from the supposedly troublesome one.
The rest of the day would go along fairly smooth for Aspen,  with nothing other than the usual annoyances bothering them, sucha as a lazy coworker complaining that no one would get fabric for them.
Aspen sat alone while on their lunch break, listening to music as usually did. Nothing else had changed from doing it's normal way of doing things. Unless you counted Aspen constantly thinking about the event that had happened earlier, at the beginning of the day, then that counts.
"Still sucks here." Aspen muttered, looking at the building as they left, long after their last free breath of air while on lunch. "Things never change,  do they?"
They turned on a random Spotify playlist once they got in their car,  tossing their work bag into the passenger seat of the car. They sighed, turning the key to their car a few times to get it to start.
"At least I have my car, right?" Aspen muttered to themselves,  backing out of the parking spot before having to halt to a stop, with their coworker Tammy trying to get out of the parking lot.  They heard indistinct yelling,  a car horn,  and then screeching tires.
'They never fail to amaze me.' Aspen thought,  their green eyes staring at the road. 'I wonder what goes on in the small mind they possess. '
They left the parking lot,  just letting their thoughts whizz by as they pleased,  in fear they would focus on the bad of the day. The music helped,  serving as a good distraction that didn't distract Aspen from driving.
Thankfully,  the drive home was not too bad for Aspen after all. They didn't die.
They fixed themselves a quick dinner once they had changed into more comfortable clothes after getting home. The dinner in question  as really just a hot pocket,  but Aspen could care less.
They checked their plants and made sure they were alright, watering the ones whose soil was dry.  They stretched their torso out, sighing as their shoulders became less tense and relaxed.
They then watched a bit of whatever they felt like watching. Aspen knew they didn't have particularly good taste, but could care less at that moment.
Aspen went to bed once they had finished watching their show, curling up in a ball on their side underneath the warm blanket. They managed to fall asleep after twenty minutes of empty thought,  knowing the next day would be the same.
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