#and intentionally redirecting my thoughts to my actual irl surroundings to remind myself of what's real and get out of my own head | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theygender · 2 years

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I've gotten so good at recognizing and shutting down PTSD flashbacks that my brain has just moved straight on to "make up a guy to get mad about." Got me out here having traumatic memories about events that did not and will not happen

#like i get distracted and start thinking about random shit and then my brain just goes 'hey wouldn't it be fucked up if this happened'#and then starts playing out a scenario that would in fact be fucked up if it happened #and then i get caught up in it the same way i do a ptsd flashback and have to go through the whole thing as if it was actually happening #until i eventually realize what's going on and have to do the same process of telling myself that it's not really happening #and intentionally redirecting my thoughts to my actual irl surroundings to remind myself of what's real and get out of my own head #the only difference is that with my ptsd flashbacks i KNOW that I'm having a flashback bc my abusers are there #I've trained my brain to recognize that if [redacted] or [redacted] is there I'm having a flashback and i need to practice my coping skills #and it's especially easy for me to tell since most of my flashbacks are about the same handful of events #....so i guess my brain has decided to solve that by creating entirely new scenarios with imaginary people for me to get upset about #it's learned how to get around the censors 😭#rambling

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