i think people cant rlly put a concrete line of "does society benefit people who have sex over those who dont" because, as we know sex in the modern times and before has literally never been a secular concept, sex is treated wildly different in Every Single region or place in the world and is often one of the most ritualized concepts in human cultures, by all means, you cant say people who engage in recreational sex are benefitted the same way people who only use sex as a procreation act, because they really arent once you look into it for more than 10 minutes.

By all means the general notion in most places in the world is that sex is a procreation act first and foremost and all other acts with it should be highly scrutinized by a bunch of particular rules or prejudices regarding how, when and with who it should be with, this isnt to say that seeing it this way is inherently a punishing way to see sex, as i said, it is part of us to ritualize certain acts based on historical events, hygienic motivation and religious concepts and so on.

Even the image of an cishet older man who gets constant sexual gratification up until death is seen as someone who must be: able to provide monetarily on the very least as to maintain a status, be stationary, is probably not emotionally mature, probably has a miriad of problems he is never willing to expose, can be health wise, can be mental wise, can be other thing. The expectation that sex cannot ever be in hand with "true" affection or emotional fullfillment unless it conceives a family and never tackled again affects literally anyone ever.

People lumping sexual coercion/manipulation/abuse as something inherent to courtship is what muddles people´s view of sexuality in the first place, these acts are really just other manifestations of violence and the act of overpowering one individual or more for your own sake, whether people ritualize them or not (and any family is capable of ritualizing any sort of abnormal behavior) is not meaning that they are actual Parts of what makes sex, Sex itself.

You cannot manifest sex as clear hierarchical category, because it is more like, a tool, like a stick, every one is gonna see the stick differently, whether is a punishment tool, a guidance tool or something just to burn, the stick doesnt have an inherent meaning as much as it is just a natural part of the reality and its meaning is adaptable to the needs.

You cannot talk about sex in a "secular" way because the majority of the world is gonna talk about it different ways, it is impossible to pin down, and it doesnt help that a grand miriad of cultures have a certain role/caste/type of person who are literally described as "those who dont engage in sex" either for spiritual or other reasons, even just like, work ethic wise, and their perceived hierarchy in a social scale vastly differs in each one depending of the culture, their gender, or lineage.

This is what mostly bothers me about discussions around sex coming from a very sensationalized and scandalized and Americanized treatment of sex that really has just festered from people taking what they see in movies or books to face value as things that people just do just because and completely ignoring religion or culture or the politics in their state or such.