#and i need to sotp getting so attached to people who show me any kind of affection i cannot handle a relationship no matter how much i
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man i dontthink i can be in a real relationship ever again im just starting to process how everyone has treated me HORRIBLY
#and by everyone i mean. like 2 people. both of them were bad to me#godd i stayed with this one guy for like 4 years and he never even kissed me. but he was my first boyfriend so i just thought it was normal#he was so distant and i didnt even realize it. and then the second person came along right after he broke up with me and they#were super touchy super affectionate which i loved after being neglected for so long. but then they left me after a month.#and i never talk about it ever because i HATE talking about relationships it makes me feel like a loser.#''ohhh im so touch starved ive never felt truly loved'' what are you some kind of incel#and i need to sotp getting so attached to people who show me any kind of affection i cannot handle a relationship no matter how much i#think i want it. a friend kissed me a couple weeks and now its to the point shes been appearing in my dreams.#theyre really vivid too. i dont even know if i see her that way im not trying to process what my subconscious wants right now.#but its happened like 3 times now and i think it was because i ended up kissing her neck too. thats the main thing that happens in them.#it was so quick it didnt mean ANYTHING but my head wont let me forget about it. what the fuck ever man.#anyway. at least i can laugh about the fact the first guy broke up with me over amino
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