#and i feel really emotionally deregulated and unstable plus my meds ran out and i havent had the time or energy to schedule my appointment
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#had our new hire no call no show so now instead of working a couple of days and then getting a day off i now work 5 days in a row#which sucks because my job is not the kinda job where you can work 5 days and feel sane but also i really need as much money as i can get#and i feel really emotionally deregulated and unstable plus my meds ran out and i havent had the time or energy to schedule my appointment#to get more....so that makes that even worse#i just feel ......not okay. its only day 1/5 and my body already aches and i just dont feel good. i wish i enjoyed life. i try to find#the joy and love in my mundane life but im always so tired and im always so drained and i deal with so many stupid people and its so hard to#want to be alive. its almost midnight and i wanted to go to bed 2 hours ago and im even in bed ready to sleep and just cant......because#i know i have to wake up and do it again tomorrow. fuck. its all so exhausting.
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