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#and i can't find regular work because my anxiety paralyzes me most of the time...
sherlock-is-ace
·
3 months
Text
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#panic attacks leave me feeling like shit for the rest of the day and that seems illegal
#what do you mean i go through th worst feelings ever for a number of minutes and when it ends i still feel like absolute shit
#the embarrassment of being seen as you lose all control of your body and emotions
#and then your brain staying foggy and shitty all day
#panic attacks should be a one time thing
#i hate them!
#kdfhgdfg
#i was researching phsychiatrist yesterday because every day it's getting harder to deal with my brain hating me
#but boy oh boy are they expensive!!! mental health doctors are never covered by my health inssurance and they're one of the most expensive
#types of doctors out there and you can't just go once. it's a long term thing
#so i very much doubt i'll be able to afford it
#specially because my stupid work is not regular so maybe i can afford like 2 sessions and then never again for like 4 months...
#i hate this so fucking much
#and it's sort of a vicious cycle because i can't pay for therapy because i don't have regular work
#and i can't find regular work because my anxiety paralyzes me most of the time...
#but it's fine... could be worse
#we still can afford food and pay for services so it's fine
#i just wish my entire wasn't in other people's hands you know?
#the people ruining this country the people who politely say ''thanks but you're not a good fit for our team'' etc etc
#angel talks
#personal
#please ignore this post it's actually fine. i'm fine and not in danger of doing something stupid or whatever
#it's all fine i'm just venting cause as i said my brain is foggy and putting things out there helps a bit
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