the fact that like half the hospital has bets on who gets fired is both fucking hilarious and the most in character thing i think this show has ever done

Expecting

Oh god evil magic pregnancy episode. Fuck. 1. Cordy is at work getting ready for a date. Mrs. Benson is filed under F. Because she’s from France. Wesley has a new Bavarian fighting axe. They are evil free at the moment. Wesley has Word Puzzle 3D. 2. Wesley just embedded his axe in the wall. Cordy is seeing a fashon photographer. Cordy is having a vision. Angel and Wes covered for her fairly well. Now Wes and Angel have to slay a big baby creature. 3. They’re at 23 Cabrillo. 4. The eggs are next door. Wesley and Angel fight termites wherever they may roam. 5. Angel and Wes are fighting demon spawn. It’s bloody and messy and they’re breaking the house. Wes got thrown out but still has his Bavarian fighting axe and is back in now. They seem to have won. It was one demon and it nearly beat them. Cordy’s friends thought Angel and Wes were gay. 6. Now we’re seeing Cordy’s date at the club. Cordy’s making Wilson Christopher not hate dating. 7. The point of LA is to make you feel as insecure as possible. 8. Wilson Christopher drove Cordy home. He seems to like her. They’re kissing.Cordy is inviting him in. But he already crossed the threshold without permission. 9. “You live alone, right?” “In the sense that I’m the only one living here.” 10. Dennis is putting on unsexy music. 11. Now they’re making out. Cordy and her date. Not Cordy and Dennis. 12. Now Cordy and her date are having sex. 13. Wilson isn’t in bed when Cordy wakes up. Also, it’s 11 AM. Cordy’s late for work. And stiff. And very, very pregnant. Goddamnit, I hate this episode already. 14. Angel and Wesley are breaking into Cordy’s house. Good move, Angel. 15. “Angel. I’m ready to wake up now. I don’t seem to be waking up.” 16. They had safe sex. She’s explicitly saying that. And she’s magically super-pregnant. Angel wants to talk to Wilson. Cordy says she’s being punished. From the perspective of the episode? SHE FUCKING IS, and that’s why I hate this episode so much already. She is a woman, she met a guy, she was attracted to him, she took him home, they had responsible, safe sex, and now she’s got an evil magical pregnancy, and there is NO WAY I can read this as anything but the universe punishing her for being a woman who is a sexual being. 17. Wilson’s number is disconnected. Angel is going to handle this. 18. I’ll note: I like Angel here. He’s sympathetic and listening and knows when she’s avoiding something good because she’s scared and when she’s pushing back because she needs space. He’s being handled well here. 19. Dennis is offering her tissues. And tucking her in. 20. Wesley is taking Cordy for an ultrasound. Angel is hunting Wilson. 21. Angel is talking to a bartender and bribing him. The bartender knows Wilson. Wilson goes where Serena says he goes. 22. “So, you the boyfriend?” “No. I’m family.” 23. People think they get to touch pregnant women. That’s intrusive and bad. Don’t do that. 24. People also think they get to judge women for their attitudes about their pregnancies. That’s also godawful, so don’t. 25. They’ve found at least six heartbeats, and Wesley is reacting in terror to whatever was on the screen. 26. Angel is, I think, going to Serena’s place. She invited Angel in. The house is dark, and she’s not answering once he’s inside. She’s lighting candles. Serena is also hyper-pregnant. 27. They took amniotic fluid. It broke the syringe and is dissolving the floor. Cordy is being mind controlled by the demons. 28. The guys’ money smelled. Bad. And they were jumpy. But it’s LA. The guys liked that the girls didn’t have families. 29. There’s seven of them. They’re talking to her. Good God, i hate this episode. 30. Now Cordy’s drinking Angel’s blood. Not the blood in him. The blood he stores. 31. Wilson hangs out at a gun club. Angel found him. He threatened Angel with a gun. He’s human, and Angel is kicking his ass. Wilson has friends. 32. Wes found the demon and Cordy is mind controlled and knocked him out and I hate this fucking episode. 33. They shot Angel. That didn’t help. Now his game face is on and he’s going to kick every ass in sight. 34. Wilson is going to tell Angel what he needs to know. 35. Cordy went to a place. Probably where the demon is. 36. Her friends are there too. Also mind controlled. 37. And other women too. 38. You’d think the Powers would help with this, wouldn’t you? Their chosen messenger affected by a mind control parasite that kills its hosts? 39. The demon is immune to fire and decapitation and is huge, but Angel asked if Wesley can shoot straight. 40. Now they’re all in white robes getting in a pool of green gunk. 41. Wes is at the pool.Trying to talk Wes out of the pool. 42. “We serve our master.” Oh, fuck. 43. Well, that is big. 44. Wes is threatening the demon. Angel threw a container of liquid nitrogen at it, and Wes shot it, and now they’re freezing it and that’s killing it and killing the unborn and Cordy and the women are screaming in pain and fuck how long is this shit? 45. Cordy shattered the frozen demon with a pullymabob as if that’s supposed to make me feel better. 46. Cordy’s back at work. And making fun of Angel and Wes. “I learned men are evil. No, wait, I knew that.” The family vibe here is nice. It doesn’t even START to make up for the shit this episode was, but it’s nice. Wes is crying. Overall: Fuck this shit.