#and hhhh i do feel like i have weird reservations but maybe that just happens in this sort of circumstance. idk
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#it has been like. very flirtatious between my friend and i lately.#said friend was made 7 years ago when i was in first year when i went to a gala to meet a pen pal#and met him instead#and we both were into each other except we were both too useless to make any direct moves#so nothing ever happened#and i partially convinced myself it was never there on his part. except it definitely was#and i found out for sure last year when i asked him if he would ever want to date. and he said he was seeing someone#but then i was like well yeah when we first met i wanted to.#and he was like yeah i did too but convinced myself you probably didnt want to#anyways we've been talking since like fall 2020 off and on via messenger#and then at the end of this March we got to see each other for the f1st time since 2020 and hang out properly for the 1st time since 2017#and my brain was like AAAAAAAAAAAAA him.#and then we saw each other again in late May and i was like ok its ok i can be friends. I've done it for this long#but then he used a WINKY FACE. in his msg to me that night or smth. and he never ever does.#and then i was like hmmmm. hm. can we turn this around.#and now we've been messaging A Lot and he has definitely been flirtatious. which I've returned#and hhhh i do feel like i have weird reservations but maybe that just happens in this sort of circumstance. idk#anyways we're having a phone call at noon tmrw and maybe i can pull up the courage to ask him if he's seeing anyone#and get it out of the way#hghfhghgj
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