#and hes like 'oh im broke lol'
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siblings can never be forgiven
#i speak#my brother is such a useless piece of shit#'which one?' yes#my younger brother insisted i give him 25 fucking dollars for something i KNEW would be 4 dollars#and then he came back and was like 'it was 4 dollars lol oh but i spent the rest ill give it back later'#i asked him to buy me smth from amazon (ew i know but he has next day delivery and i needed it for the next day) with the money he owed me#and hes like 'oh im broke lol'#so i just Didnt Get The Thing I needed.#and now im redacted and i needed him to redacted but hes FUCKING BROKE#his excuse is always 'ohhhh well im gonna make bank as soon as im out of school'#WHAT ABOUT NOW DUDE#WHAT ABOUT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG HUH#what about if you crash your mothers car drifting it around a fucking corner the way you insist on doing#and have to buy a new one and pay for shit insurance doesnt cover#what then.#what if mom just stopped paying for your fucking everything#(not gonna happen. she spent like 100 bucks more on him than she said she would for his bday. i got like. breakfast out -cost half of his#bday dinner- and a trip to a mall. also she TOOK THE CAR IN ON MY BDAY so she had to get my uncle to drive me.)#never liked it when she reminded me he was her favourite all the time as a kid but at least she was forthright about it sdghjksgsd#and!! at least he was a kid!!!!#now hes a grown asshole who doesnt do a damn thing around the house and STILL gets hundreds of dollars of whatever he wants at the drop of#a hat.#and i cant get a replacement drawing tablet because 100 dollars is too expensive but 130 on a lego set PLUS 2 tshirts because they didnt#come in on time is fine. even tho she said shed spend under 100#fucking whatever
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what's the buzz, tell me what's a-happening ???
#jesus chris superstar#not really this is just dolokhoded bible. but the quote is jcs !#(well i mean it could be. its not any specific production anyways.)#judas iscariot#he's the only one i tag always#but everyone's there. all the apostles plus magdalene and joanna and susanna though you can't see them very well#im not religious just insane.jpg#remember when i had an art tag#i SAID im gonna draw something proper and i DID IT OKAY#LOOK AT JOHN !!!!!!! OBSESSED WITH HIM !#my normal john design is much lamer but in this weird 70ish but not really in any real timeline 'verse he KICKS ASS#i was going for like. green eyed blonde baby cherub with him anyways but it really popped off with this specific design he's the only one i#changed so much between the two verses.#cause he looked so lame.#this is going to get less notes that like. the stupidest most half assed art i've done for fandoms that actually exist but im going to try#and not care. its fine. its fine#oh sorry for how shit the quality is btw. youre never going to get good camera quality here at tumblr dot com slash dolokhoded lol im#so broke . maybe i'll try to fix it someday.
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co ja robie ze swyim życiem aka clown in a polish folk dress ^-^ !
#IF I SAY THAT THE BG SUCKS ON PURPOSE WOULGDE U BELIEVE ME...#mcyt#clownpierce#lifesteal smp#voidcore.png#ANYWAY welcome to the ramble zone#this is. SO out of my comfort zone#i drew this while in so much pain misery suffering as i am slightly sick with what appears to be the common cold. like i can see the light^#this is a łowicz dress its from the region around warsaw aka where i was born ^__^ tho i consider the highlander dress to be more. ''mine''#i guess ?#since i grew up there and thats where my mum is from and stuff#WHATEVER#so tempted to draw him in that one next ^__^ might do a more dynamic pose too ! bc in this hes just. standing there. ominously#hes like those girls from the olej rzepakowy ads LOL#as im typing this im dreading formatting this post bc UH OH my cool mobile formating broke >_< fuck my whole life i guess !#ALSO YAAAY SOMEONE NOTICED THE SILLY WAY I DRAW SUNS. LIKE YES IT DOES LOOK LIKE AN EGG YOLK I LOVE DOING THAT !!!
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reminds me i have to find a fuckin gyno here after next month bc im out of refills for my bc UGHHHH
#the appts do not end#oh also the eye doctah said i have scarring on my eyes LOLLL#he asked if i had any irritation in the past yr when he was checking my eyes and i was like ueah last month#yeah#and he checked em nd said theres scarring nd since its not affecting my vision its fine but next tjme to get my eyes checked if i have#any irritation#so im tryng to take my contacts out more bc i Do not but#i dont have glasses rn n my old pair is not good#Like the prescription is super outdated so its disorienting when i wear them and they're kind of just fucked lol#Like my ex broke them in may so they wld fall down my face and i got them fixed last month but when i wore them again they were falling down#again n the part that was loose was loose again idk? i dont like them#the new glasses i got have nose pads which i think i need bc glasses always slide down my nose anyway lol
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got called baby by a girl today 😭🩷💕
#tbh....im like almost convinced im a lesbian....#however i already broke up with my bf once cause i thought that and i dont want to do it again 😞#but man. guys just do not affect me the way girls do#it took me so long not to be a little grossed out by my boyfriend flirting with me and then one little comment by a girl has me 💕#anyways doesnt matter. i would like to be friends with this girl but i cannot approach her cause thats scary#i hope she'll talk to me 😭 i would love to have friends lol#OH YEAH#also i told my bf about what happened and hes like did you punch her#and i was like no#so he goes i'll remember that. i'll start calling girls baby and beautiful now#like???? thats not the same thing!!! im not calling anyone anything 😭 i cant help what other people say
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LUFFY CHARM'S CHAIN SNAPPED 😭😭😭
#I got VERY lucky tonight. Oh my god. It broke in my pocket on the car ride home and not during the concert#A problem for tomorrow (while I'm watching the new episode) because I have not slept in 3 days. Gonna go do that now 👍#Does Amazon sell replacement phone charm straps? I feel like they would#Ignore my bag o masks in the background lol I keep a handful of disposable/reusable ones in there so I can grab one when I'm going out#Cruddy rambles#I'm seriously about to start crying over how grateful I am I didn't lose him. He was a gift from Callie!!#He's been with me since high school!#That's at least 7 years! Probably more!#Okay. Granted. When we lost contact I put him on my model pirate ship for a few years.#But still now that we're in touch again he's been coming out with me again#HE MEANS A LOT TO ME THATS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY
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Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"
People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"
Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"
#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse#like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont#ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean#i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun#lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly#oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well#the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that#oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour#as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little#so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone#which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one#also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse#i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy#its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking#yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much#im also just really snappy sometimes#I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine#they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them#i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents#they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them#sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone#i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it#sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay#I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor#again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon#if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed#personal rambles#vent tag
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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papyrus so aro. weee
#im dressed so cute today to go to the library#oh before i forget i have to call the puter guy about my puter#silly jonesy BROKE IT#ren has this old desktop he and his brother made that would be nice to have#but theres no monitor or keyboard its just the puter#the pooper#not a very good one either ren said but it would mostly be nice for Access to internet and like#writing#so that im not burning my laptop into the ground and can use it for when i wanna watch something on the tv or#!! going to the library#i havent been feeling very nice in my genders lately#so i havent been dressing bery nice#i want to get this basket case shirt i found on etsy lol#ohhh speaking of aro#i want to write an essay on the doom generation analyzing it under the theory of amatonormativity#its not a difficult movie to understand i think its very clear in its central thesis but its SO GOOD and i like it so much#yesterday i was daydreaming abt having a whole series of like . queer theory in movies (soecifically horror movies)#frankenhooker and the fear of bodies. jubilee and t/erf politics#itd be stuff like that#anyways i am going to go make something to eat now and call my pooper guy#hes so nice he fixed the uhm connector to the driver that jonesy broke for free 🥺#🕷️❣️
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Oh my god…… having a fling w/ Shindo in high school (only for him to leave you for Tatami), and though it doesn’t actually hurt that bad, you’re afraid it might when he starts pursuing you again in adulthood.
#shindo#LMFAO THIS IS INSPIRED BY PRINCESS PROTECTION PROGRAM#no but I’m like kinda … moist thinking about him trying to schmooze up to u at a gala event#all friendly and sweet#you’re like ‘how’s tatami?’ and he’s like ‘oh you know we broke up😀“’#and you’re just like… don’t act like you’re here to be nice to me#and his face like darkens 😗😏😈 YOU KNOW THE FACE#and he’s like ‘aww haha ok >:)’#SO SMEXY EVEN IF IM MAD AT U#and then u have a fling#maybe I can talk about it later I don’t know#anyway#I took an edible tee he#I had to shush my friend like five times to write this LOL#I was nice about it tho she understood it was Business#shii posts
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my dad breaking gender roles by being a huge karen ✊🏻
#he went to the eye doctors for the first time in forever bc his old ass glasses finally broke#and he comes back like we’re gonna have to find a new eye doctor 😤#apparently he signed to get a contact exam that they ended up not doing bc they were like oh no your contacts are fine#but they still wanted to charge 50 dollars bc he signed the paper. which like yes is fucked up#but we have literally been going to the same doctor for like 15 years and have never had a problem before#and in saying that. im sure if u actually talked to the doctor and not the front desk ppl it would be taken care of#and you dont have to write a dramatic note like THANKS FOR EVERYTHING BUT YOUVE JUST LOST A CUSTOMER!!! 😡😡😡#so like. sorry dude but i think your wife who actually keeps up with her yearly exams is NOT doing that. lol
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I would umm like to stop finding out things
#like#oh i wasn't going insane there you literally were ignoring me back then cool#see i thought it was my imagination but okay#everyone else noticed you were talking in full sentences to everyone except me#oh also you were super huffy to other people about me wanting to go to a cafe with you?#okay you literally could have just cancelled lol#remember when i was worried about coming off clingy and asking you to stuff#and you said just ask anyway worst i can say is no#that wasnt the worst thing you could do though was it#and i LOVED finding out you intended to break things off for ages before you actually did#remember when i explicitly asked you how long you'd been thinking about it#and you said a few days at most#and i took that as truth because youd never lied to me#thats not even touching on the fact rhattyou DIDNT break it off. I spent days being gaslit by you before finally saying fuck it#obviously theres an issue so talk to me like an adult about it#fuckin. 'no yeah we're fine' my ass#i dont even care that he broke it off i really don't i care that i was lied to and disrepected and brushed off and gaslit about it#and im furious that he'll never realise he fucked up there because hes never fucking wrong about anything#i dont have the patience for him anymore honestly and theres no way to even bring this up because it was months ago at this point#but if he asks whats up im gonna just go a little hit ham#:3c
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when i dont spend a lot of time here and i come back,,,its like i forget how to blog : \
#i am depressed lol#literally going fm summertime saddness to possibility up in here#just straight up not having a good time#that being said--i watched the funniest hallmark movie the other night#this woman loses her memory of last two years#and thinks shes engaged to her ex boyfriend#ex is like 'no we broke up two years ago'#and the whole time the woman thinks she broke up with him and doesnt know why#all the while she is engaged to some other guy#anyway not the point#shes trying to get her memory back and the ex is trying to help her#until they go on a sleigh ride#(yeah its a christmas movie im down real bad over here pls dont judge)#anyway after the sleigh ride theyre walking in the snow#and shes like 'oh my god is this where we broke up??'#and he's like 'wait--'#and then it hits her#gets her memory back asap and it turns out she never broke up with him--he broke up with her#and she's like 'i have been feeling so bad this entire time. and you didnt say a thing.'#i know ur like 'alma how is this funny??' its the way it plays out that made it hilarious to me#anyway she's like 'im leaving and im not coming back'#the entire situation is so funny im sorry#and his excuse is dumb bc he was like 'i broke up with bc i felt like i was holding u back'#which is dumb and also he doesnt grovel enough#the ending was meh#but srlsy the reveal that he dumped her was really funny
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excuse the mess im cleaning out our closet lmao but here are some more of my favorite stuffed animals as a kid that ive posted about for tag games before (and some that i haven’t)!
from left to right: curly the tiger, washington dc bear (“washy” for short), lalox the fox, pj the pig, vivian the lion (yes she’s nala lol), reezy the orca whale, and sneakers the puppy :D
#purrs#assorted fun facts about them: curly and lalox both have extra stitches on their backs where the fabric split apart. washy and lalox both ca#came from claw machine games (washy at a bounce house during my cousins bday party and lalox from the rainforest cafe lmao). washy was my fi#first stuffed animal that i ever really loved and ive had him since i was like 3 i think. sneakers was my favorite in 2nd grade and im#pretty sure i used to bring him to school with me. vivian and curly are both members of 3 sibling families just like mine and their siblings#are owned by my siblings and both curly and vivian were the bossy bratty headstrong sisters among the 3 cubs lol. and i got pj as a free#like little.. condolence / consolation prize from the hospital when i broke my wrist in 3rd grade and i picked him specifically because in#2nd grade my teacher had ‘reading buddies’ that were beanie babies you wuld get to keep on your desk if you were quiet during reading time a#and she had that pig beanie baby and i thought it was so cute and always picked that one and then when i saw pj at the hospital i was like#OMG IT WAS FATE!! and he has been one of my favorite stuffed animals ever since <3#nostalgia#there’s a couple more stuffed animals i found in here that i loved as a kid but they’re kinda on the secondary / tertiary side so maybe I’ll#post about them another time. it would’ve been a lot for one post lol. but im glad i finally get to share these guys bc every time i did a t#tag game about stuffed animals you loved as a kid i got sad bc i was on campus and they were at home. so it’s nice to be where they are hehe#OH AND!!! i forgot this one! reezy has his name because of a jayjay the jet plane episode where jayjay made friends with a butterfly named b#breezy but i was like 3-4 and i couldn’t say breezy correctly so i called him reezy because i loved that episode so much <3
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also my ex was convinced i cheated on him before i officially got out of that apartment and stuff and i can find screenshots of texts before i "cheated" where he repeatedly told me he broke up with me so Broken up was def in both of our dialogues. like yeah sure babe. ur just triggered i slept w someone else after enduring horrible abuse for a year+ and i stayed faithful to him the entire time too and he did not even deserve that and actually cheated on me when we were still together😭😭😭multiple times. Lmfao
#like i foudn a txt of him even insisting he was the one who initiated the break up cuz i like said it too and hes like i broke up with u x#oh but i cheated on u🙄#But u broke up w me🙄#Lol#that man did not deserve my loyalty im sickkk#i was sooo trusting too i felt so blindsided and sick when his like weird internet sexting shit got out and he betrayed my trust severely#lol#and continued to do so until the end of the relationship like id always find shito n his phone 😭#just fucked me up so bad cuz i felt sooo bad and dumb for never ever suspecting hed ever be unfaithful to me or betray me or disrespect me#that way..... now im suspicious of anyone i date like u cant trust those mfs literally any man w a phone is a MENACE#they always hide somethin idk😭
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My gender complex goes back 3 generations and through two queer women and their family trauma, I feel like I know what I'm talking about. We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two.
#i got my gender from my she/her misogynistic transmas gay dad who's also the mother of my mom.#my sperm donor doesn't matter here.#he's kinda fruity though and swears he's just a straight southern boy in alaska.#my dad/grandma and my sperm donor/dad were/are both autistic though.#im pretty my great-grandfather (whom i was named after (whom was named after his father)) was autistic to.#and even though he was an abusive piece of shit the autism had him connect with one of his four lesser-sons.#so she got a bit of a complex from really admiring him. i got a bit of a complex from really admiring her. i was named after him.shit's wild#oh yeah and a psychic told my grandma in a past life she was her fathers husband and she thought it was crazy but he said that makes sense#(in that past life he was his daughters wife to clarify)#he didnt even believe in that shit she was blown away when he said that like ''dad you're joking right?'' (he wasnt)#it was to explain why he always broke down in tears hearing the bag pipes.#this hardcore military man would just start crying when he heard bagpipes playing. absolutely break down.#and the psychic said it's because they played bagpipes when my grandma/his/her husband came back from war after leaving her to fight.#she had the gaul to give my mom his last name. her maiden name. and well my mother never married so i got it too.#the family hated us for that.#and he treated her(my grandma's) daughter way better than any of his own kids. so the family hated us for that too.#my mom's also an ace/bilesbian lol.#out of all the confusion im trans so like. i feel like i have a better handle because of that.#i take a bit of pride and freedom in the confusion.#hexacles.txt
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