#and fucking none of them came over the net ughh
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It’s gotten to the point that I’m getting homework assigned to improve my serve…
#I cannot for the life of me get an overhand serve to work#and it’s so frustrating!!#I wanna practice but at the same time usually it means someone won’t get a serve to receive cause it’ll be shitty#and I don’t wanna do that#but today we had some time where we weren’t that many#so I was like okay today I’ll stick to it#and keep practicing#and fucking none of them came over the net ughh#my coach ended telling me to just do a few underhanded serves for a while to still get to receive smt#which was fine but also ugh#so after training he was like if you do this with a tennis ball you can practice the movement#which is very nice and I wanna do that but it’s wild that it has come to that#last time I practiced it I got two over the net out of like 15#but still that was something! I can do it sometimes#so like I will do it some day not all is lost#but it’s wild that such a simple movement doesn’t work for me#idk if it’s coordinating with the ball as well but it’s shitty#oh well I’ll try and find a tennis ball at home bc my coach wanted to bring me one#but I won’t be there next Monday and next Wednesday is cancelled#so I’ll try and find my own bc otherwise it’ll be a while#fingers crossed#I will get it one day! I’m making fucking sure of that#me#volley serve progress#I might come back to this post some day
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This post is just gonna be me spitballing and yapping fr😭 If any of you guys catch my drift pls lemme know :"D
This isn't supposed to be a doomer post (cuz I don't like doomerism) BUT it may come off that way sooo yeah-
Looking back to when I was like a young kid, I was always so fascinated with the internet and fandom spaces especially! I do think the early 2000s and like early to mid 2010s of the net and online spaces where so whimsical. Esp as a kid from my background and what not. I thought it was cool to see people be authentic and sort of free in a way online? Obviously not to a crazy extent but much more than irl and stuff.
And I would read fandom posts and enjoy all the yummy content. At the time I couldn't really read very well (cuz like yk kids really can't read-) but I KNEW I wanted to be in fandom actively SAUUURRR BAD!! I looked forward to it. Despite the horrors of it all! Despite my ass lacking some social skills online as well (telling tone and vibes is kinda hard over text).
Now I got what I want (hurray :3!). Though sometimes I can't help but wonder if I belived in a fantasy. It feels diffrent than I expected? I wonder if it's because I'm not very active or talkative? Sometimes it still feels a bit lonesome? (IF ANYONE GETS THIS FEELING AS WELL P L E A SE TELL ME😭)
Then I really start to wonder. I'm soon reminded that no I didn't make up a fantasy of what being online would be. This is how it was to some degree! Yes, there menaces still existed, along with bigots (Racism and shit was DEF more...obvious? I don't like saying that either because it still is so easy to find). But when it came to just being chill and talking it was different. I just can't explain it. I feel like now people are a bit more antsy and upset :(. People argue about shit that genuinely doesn't matter. Or they ignore real problems in fandom (racism and bigotry again). Or the refusal to understand others and their exprinces, and genuinely try to relax.
And of course this ties into a greater social issues because none of these things exsist in a vacuum. A lot of negativity, moral superiority, hatred, and hypocrisy is a relection of how things have changed. It's a result of people being calcified by the systems at play. Everyone is struggling and things are actively deteriorating (not to be an alarmist). But look at how everything is fucking monetized or a commodity! Look at all the apps and sites everything is becoming centralized man. What about the people?
Kids don't have 3rd spaces, the myth of the digital native is RAMPANT, they're not being taught useful internet skills, they're not being taught basic literary skills. They don't even know where to get resources to start learning. This doesn't even include it all! So, where do they have to go? Now many of them are in spaces where they shouldn't be and talking about stuff they shouldn't be worried about at all. Stuff that most people shouldn't care about.
Same with older folk some people don't have those skills either. This plus adult responsibilities and ughh. No wonder why people act so nasty online sometimes. It's a sense of trying to have a little control in this life. A sense of venting. Or even an attempt at trying to build a better world (admirable yes but the way some people go about this is so backwards and not helpful).
This capitalist hellscape is ruining every single aspect of our lives. And I know what I'm saying isn't new. Everyone knows this. Everyone sees this. But it makes me wonder do people really care about eachother online? Do people really care about eachother at all? I know the answer is yes and I've seen some amazing things. Though sometimes it doesn't feel real?
How do people claim to care about disabled people and be all left leaning and not wear a mask or take proper covid precautions? Or constantly leave us out of discussions?
How do people claim to claim to support marginalized people and victims but also partake in hate bandwagons or other acts that can put them at risk of being hurt irl?
How do people claim to be pro mental health and still do the other things I mentioned. Or again disregarding the exprince of others and how it can affect them in more ways than one?
Who does benefit? This just isolates us further and it really benefits big corps in the end. Eating each other alive to make their jobs easier.
This whole thing reminds me why I joined tumblr. Like the vibe on here is different. Much better than other apps where you essentially become a brand instead of a person. Tumblr has weird mfs and I fw that hard.
I miss when people were freely weird and cringe. I miss when social media wasn't a fucking panopticon. I miss miss an old internet that we will never get back. And it makes me worry for the future of everything. Give people grace PLEASE😭!
I want people to be as authentic as they can be 😩 and that's why I'm yapping.
#will be spelling errors#1 am pondering#the horror persist but so do I#things will be better but damn this makes a nga think#If you get the vibe lemme know I love talking to people :>> I'm always down to talk#I use tumblr is like a little dairy scrapbook#weeramblesofmine#strive for a better world in an effective manner#importantly be against capitalism and all the nightmares it brings (yt supremacy and allat)#will this be deleted? who knows#i certainly dont#THIS IS SO LONG LMFAOO#be raw 2024
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