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#and even tho they fully assimilated culturally and never passed on language or much history there are still these little pieces
mybrainproblems ยท 2 years
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many many selfish and unintelligible and conflicting and angry thoughts. i'm sorry. please ignore.
#i feel like i'm being so whiny and entitled bc i'm american but of ukrainian heritage and russia's war hits in an emotionally weird way#like this is not happening to me but it's probably happening to my unknown distant relatives#unknown and distant bc my relatives who immigrated fully assimilated but there are some cultural practices we held onto#and even tho they fully assimilated culturally and never passed on language or much history there are still these little pieces#of our heritage that i grew up with and even in assimilating they were still proudly and emphatically ukrainian#so russia's war is simultaneously personal and yet has nothing to do with me and i have no idea how to feel about this#i alternate between the emotional distance of being an american and crying bc this is where part of my family is from & it feels so selfish#i am sad that my relatives felt the need to assimilate and we lost that connection to our heritage but russia's goal is exterminating it#this feels so fucking selfish to be upset and i hate talking about it but it's hitting me *hard* again this morning#i hold the cognitive dissonance of being an american with the luxury of being anti nato/military while also being pro ukrainian military &#supporting nato expansion to curb russian imperialism#ideologically i am against militarization. realistically i know that russia doesn't give a fuck about diplomacy. western leftists fuck off#talking about n/azis in ukraine and not supporting ukraine bc of that and being anti nato expansion#it is selfish for me to be talking about this and being so upset but western leftists are making me so angry. RUSSIA is making me angry.#i'm sorry for venting about this and making this about me but i just need to get this out somewhere#so. slava ukraini ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’› i hope russia is defeated. i hope someday we see an end to nato and militarization but today is NOT that day.#this feels personal and yet the only way i'm personally affected as an american is by increased prices and orgs i donate to#i'm sorry and i hope ukrainians are able to return home soon. that western europe helps rebuild and support doesn't end with guns & bombs
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