#and enjoy the pleasure pain of a tough recovery
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behavior modification, a valentine special
hi! long time, no see. i was home sick from work today and marathoning valentine movies, so here's some sentimental jack and joe for you. part of behavior modification (masterlist here), takes place sometime in the first year after jack's rescue, during his lawsuit against WRU for his freedom.
content warnings for: trauma responses, references to past noncon, tooth-rotting fluff
future snippet, sealed with a kiss
“Is this for your special someone?”
The clerk’s smile is impossibly large; if she smiles any wider, Joe is convinced her face will crack. He understands. She’s probably asked this question at least seventy-five million times in the last week, and it’s a pointless one. Valentine cards are a perfunctory part of being in a relationship. Even if you don’t think your someone is all that special, you still buy them a card because that’s what the day demands. It’s part of the reason Joe never really cared about Valentine’s Day before. The forced displays of affection, the candy pink sheen of it all–it never seemed to reflect the kind of love Joe knew to be true.
But this year, it’s different. This year, the clerk’s question isn’t so pointless. Joe looks down at the red envelope in his hand, and he cannot hide his own smile. “Yes, it is. Someone very special.”
“Well, I’m sure she’ll love it!” the clerk sing-songs back. With a pop of her gum, she grabs the card and scans it.
Joe doesn’t correct her. At least, not overtly. “I hope he does,” he says softly, but the clerk doesn’t look up.
They never really celebrated Valentine’s Day before. Sure, Joe liked to rage against the consumer machine, but it was really Jack’s doing. Jack was indifferent, or, at least, he pretended to be. The truth was gift-giving occasions always made him a little uncomfortable. In Jack’s mind, gifts were offered only as part of a fucked-up trade; something he might want for something he certainly didn’t want to give. Joe had learned that the hard way.
They had been seeing each other maybe a month at the time, but Jack was already spending most of his nights at Joe’s place, even if they hadn’t quite consummated their relationship yet. Joe didn’t know at the time that Jack had basically been squatting in the library study carrels and showering at the fitness center, but even if he had, he was more than happy to have Jack with him as much as possible.
It had been a hard week. Jack was marking exams as well as taking his own, and Joe had been preparing for a conference; neither of them had come up for air in days. But when the grades were submitted and the presentation finalized, Joe thought they should celebrate. He thought he’d surprise Jack, and he brought home an expensive bottle of champagne and flowers.
Jack had paled when Joe handed him the roses. “What are these for?” he’d asked.
“For you, silly. For getting through this bear of a week.” Because I love you, Joe had thought but not said. It was too early. But he kissed Jack’s cheek, because that was something he was allowed to do. It made his body feel electric.
But when he pulled away, Jack was still staring at the roses. “Thank you.” He didn’t sound particularly thankful.
“Are you okay?”
A vacant nod. “Yeah. They’re beautiful. Thank you.” Jack set the roses down and turned toward the pantry. “Let me just get dinner started, and then–”
“You don’t have to make dinner tonight, Jack.” It was before Jack was his Jackie. Before Joe knew what he knows now. “I thought we could kick back and relax. Celebrate.”
“Of course,” Jack said softly, his chin dipping into the hollow of his throat. “Of course we’ll celebrate. I’ll take care of you.”
Joe knows that tone of voice now. The faraway note that lets him know Jack is falling back into old habits, a tone that, these days, precipitates a whispered sir. But he didn’t know then.
He didn’t see the way that Jack gnawed on his lip for a split second before he launched himself bodily at Joe, their hips crashing together, Jack’s hands in Joe’s hair. Joe fumbled to set the champagne on the counter behind him, to wrap his hands around Jack’s waist, but Jack’s fingers were already plucking open Joe’s shirt buttons, his mouth close behind. Jack was on his knees so quickly that Joe wasn’t sure what was happening.
“Jack–ohmygod, Jack.”
It was everything Joe wanted, but he didn’t know yet that it wasn’t what Jack wanted. Not until he’d looked down and seen tears squeezing from Jack’s pruned eyelids.
“Jack?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I can’t, I just–I know you deserve it. I know what you want. I’ll try again. I’m sorry.”
It was then that Joe realized. The flowers. The champagne. Jack assumed they were all part of a transaction.
Jack told him everything that night. About Bill and the others. And Joe learned. He never surprised Jack that way again. Even after Jack came home from WRU–no, especially then–Joe tried to avoid surprises. For Jack, tokens of affection were part and parcel of an economy where he was the commodity. Joe doesn’t want him to feel that way, not ever again.
But a card. A card is different.
Joe knows about WRU’s training protocol now. Jack is lucky. Those bastards may have burrowed their poison into his brain, but he still has his words; he can still read. It was one of the only things that gave him comfort when he came home. Books were some of the only things he didn’t ask to touch. Joe understands. Words matter more than things.
The clerk pops her gum again. “You want a bag and a gold seal?”
“No, that’s all right.” Joe manages to stop short of telling her that he’s going to seal this one with a kiss.
“Well, have a happy Valentine’s day, sir.”
“I will. Thank you.”
The card is in its envelope when Joe lets himself into the apartment, and Jack is in the kitchen. The apartment is fragrant with a warm, red wine smell. Joe tiptoes to stand in the cheap stucco archway. He watches the way Jack’s basketball short-clad hips move softly to the old fashioned jazz that’s coming from the speaker on the counter. His body is shyer somehow, more tentative in its movements, but still lithe and beautiful. Jack is still Jack, even after everything he’s been through.
Joe lets out a low whistle, and Jack turns, a pasta server in his hand and a shy smile on his lips. Joe’s knees practically buckle.
“You’re home,” Jack says.
“I’m home, baby.” Joe moves into the kitchen, and when Jack offers his lips, Joe takes them, resting a soft hand on Jack’s hip. “What are you making?”
“Red wine pasta with toasted walnuts and arugula,” Jack says easily. He kisses Joe’s jawline.
“I know what one of those things is.”
Jack laughs. “My gourmand.”
“Or something!”
“How was your day, Joey?” Jack disengages slowly and goes to pour Joe a glass of wine.
It’s a difficult question some days. Jack’s days are so different from Joe’s. He isn’t allowed to leave the apartment without supervision until the litigation with WRU is over. Until it’s done, Jack is still technically Joe’s property. But only technically. Joe reminds himself of that every day.
“It was alright. I missed you.” But it’s easier now. Now, Joe has far fewer opportunities to miss his Jackie.
Jack smiles, sneaking a sip from the glass before he hands it to Joe. “I missed you too.”
Joe raises his glass and leans back against the cheap countertop. “I would’ve been home earlier, but I had to make a special stop.”
Jack is back at the stove. He upends the wine bottle into a sauce pan, and a cloud of rich steam rises in its wake. “Why’s that?”
“I wanted to get you a card for Valentine’s Day.” Joe says it gently, so that it will not be a surprise.
Jack freezes, his hand hovering over the sauce pan for just a second, but then his shoulders relax. He peeks at Joe. “You? Mr. ‘Conversation-Hearts-Are-Nuggets-of-Corporate-Greed’?”
Joe smothers his own smile. Jack remembers. “Yes, me.” He pulls the card from his pocket. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jackie.”
Jack puts a lid over the pan and turns around. “I didn’t get you anything.”
“You’re all the gift I need,” Joe whispers, because it is true. Every one of the days he spends with Jack is a gift. He knew that even before, but every nerve in his body is certain of it now.
Jack tries to roll his eyes, but Joe can see that his words have landed. “Well, thank you,” Jack says softly. His fingertips whisper against Joe’s when he reaches for the card.
“Open it up, baby.”
Jack complies, carefully opening the red envelope that Joe absolutely kissed without a hint of irony after he licked the seal and pressed it closed. The card itself isn’t so special; just the standard hearts and flowers schlock that all the stores sell this time of year. But Joe’s written his own message inside. He watches Jack’s eyes move like a typewriter carriage over his uneven scrawl.
Jackie,
I know we don’t usually do this, but I feel like I haven’t told you enough how grateful I am that you are home. Nothing felt right without you, and I know now that it never could. You are my home. You are stronger than any foundation, and I will never stop thanking God that you choose to be with me, even after everything you’ve been through. And it is your choice. You have every choice. You deserve that.
I choose you, every day. I always will.
Love,
Joe
When Jack looks up again, his blue eyes are glassy with tears. “Joey–”
“I didn’t mean to–”
Jack shakes his head. He folds the card carefully and stares down at it. “You didn’t. Joe?”
Joe takes a hesitant step forward. “What is it, baby?”
“I choose this. I do.”
Jack reaches for him then, and Joe pulls Jack into his chest. “I know you do. And even if you didn’t or if–if someday, you don’t, I’ll always be grateful for this. Right now.”
Jack lets Joe hold him, and Joe knows exactly what this moment is worth. He wraps his arms so tightly around Jack that, if he didn’t know exactly how strong Jack is, he might crush him. But no one can crush Jack, and Joe knows how to hold him. Joe knows how to give him room and keep him close all at once. Joe knows how to let him choose.
taglist: @oddsconvert, @darkthingshappen, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @sparrowsage, @aut0psy1, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @termsnconditions-apply, @darlingwhump, @squishablesunbeam, @dont-be-gentle-please, @deltaxxk, @irishwhiskeygrl, @keeper-of-all-the-random-things, @hold-him-down, @peachy-panic, @whumpyblogthing, @sowhumpful, @considerablecolors, @ramadiiiisme, @sunnie, @sadboysanonymous, @panic-whump
#behavior modification#jack kenyon oc#joe prescott oc#box boy universe#box boy whump#recovery whump#whump writing#haven't done much with these boys in ages#so have this humble offering#and enjoy the pleasure pain of a tough recovery#and their love#haaaa
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Short Fanfic please? a chubby, trans masc. s/o (He/HIm) with Pinhead/Elliot Spencer. Lookin' for a pick me up of some sort...something romantic if possible.Rating can be up to you. (Started T again recently after a while and I'm feeling extra emotional lately...) I am prepping for eventual top surgery later in the year, and dysphoria's been a real killer...i am sorry if it's a tough request. Any amount of support helps, honestly. --K
I'm so sorry for the long wait. Between work and writers block from hell, I've been struggling. I hope that you enjoy this!
FtM/ trans masc reader
Warnings: mentions of transphobia (not from elliot, a side character), violence (not towards reader)
Word count: 640
An Angel to Some...
You were curled up in a fetal position as your arms wrapped around your chest, hugging yourself in an attempt to soothe yourself from a rather horrible day. Tears pebbled down the sides of your cheeks as you softly hiccup from your sobbing.
It was already a bad day because of the combination of your dysmorphia and the constant harassment by your coworkers, the constant verbal abuse coming from your parents only made your day more unbearable.
It didn't help that your manager accused you of being on your phone when you weren't even on it in the first place. To top it all off, you've been dealing with the recovery of your top surgery. 'Can I get a break for once today.' You mentally vented to yourself.
A soft lullaby faintly echoed your bedroom as you looked towards the antique puzzle box that you got from an unmarked package that only had your name on it, sitting on your bedside table.
Curiosity filled your mind as you carefully grabbed the box, the music becoming louder. It was rather soothing as you started to touch the textured lines of the puzzle box. You could tell that the box was well built from the minimum damage the box had. The sudden thoughts about opening the box filled your mind intrusively as your sons slowed to the occasional hiccups and runny nose.
The longer that the box was in your hands, the more intense the desire of wanting to solve the puzzle you felt. A loud banging could be heard from your bedroom door as you gave into temptation, carefully solving the puzzle.
Light illuminated your room slowly, making your vision slightly hazy as you continued to solve the puzzle. Your body felt as if it was on high alert as the banging on your door grew louder and more frantic, your father was slurring out words of anger out of an intoxicated rage.
Pushing the piece in, the light became brighter, blinding you temporarily as you heard the sound of chains and a distant chattering noise growing closer and louder as your father broke his way through the door.
As the smoky lights begin to clear away you see chains swung towards your father, ripping his flesh away from his body. His screams brought you a sadistic sense of pleasure and fear as you wished many times that he would feel the pain and suffering that you've felt.
Time felt nonexistent as the leader of the trio continued his sadistic game towards the man who was supposed to be your father. As the cries died down, the leader turned his attention towards your shaking form, using one of his chains to obtain the box from your bed.
His gaze was intense against you as he took in the sight of you. His eyes met yours, as if he was looking through you. If it wasn't for the fact that the demon just killed your father, you might've been more crushing on him. Yet, his presence felt safe to you, almost arousing as he made his way towards you.
The Male's obsidian eyes popped on his pale skin as the metal of the pins sticking out of his head shined duly in your dimly lit room. The leather outfit he wore framed his body perfectly, showcasing the hooks coming out of his chest and stomach.
"I- I didn't know that opening the box would summon you.." you stammered, afraid that he would hurt you next. The Male's hand gently touched the side of your cheek, his thumb was uncharacteristically careful as he brushed the stray tear away as you continued to speak.
"Who are you?..." you asked, welcoming his touch. The leather spoke up, his powerful voice causing shivers to go down your spine.
"An angel to some.. a Demon to others."
#queendeeshorrorimagines#slasher imagines#pinhead x reader#elliot spencer x reader#trans male reader#tw brief mentions of transphobia (not from pinhead)#i might make a part 2#i dunno#dees sweet tea#with slight angst#death of an minor character
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Your Guide to Anal Masturbation | Anal Play Using Anal Toys From Adam and Eve
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For guys, self pleasure is a fantastic delight – but it does commonly featured the rate of an aching penis. While healing, it is vital that a man change his self-pleasuring methods to stay clear of re-injury.
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from Male stroker https://malestroker.com/your-guide-to-anal-masturbation-anal-play-using-anal-toys-from-adam-and-eve/
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Your Guide to Anal Masturbation | Anal Play Using Anal Toys From Adam and Eve
youtube
Penis Bumps – Are They Pearly Penile Papules?
Clear, pain-free penis bumps could be pearly penile papules. Below’s what to do regarding them.
Dry Penis Skin: How Worried Should Guys Be?
Dry penis skin can feel and look dreadful, yet is it a reason for problem? As well as exactly how does a guy handle the problem?
Sore Penis Cause: Dry Humping
Dry humping is something that lots of males enjoy, even with its tendency to cause a sore penis. Actions can be required to limit damage.
Itchy Penis Quiz – Is It a Yeast Infection?
A scratchy penis is commonly brought on by a yeast infection. This test can assist males check their knowledge of this usual penile issue.
Penis Cancer – Symptoms, Risk Factors and Treatment
Penis cancer cells is luckily an unusual event in industrialized nations. According to the American Cancer Culture, concerning 1,640 new situations are predicted to show up in the U.S.
So You Want a Bigger Erection? 3 Important Things Worth Knowing About Your Erection Size
That else would certainly love to enhance their erection size normally? Are you tired feeling troubled about your dimension as well as sexual performance, yet uncertain what kind of male improvement recommendations you can REALLY trust fund? Would certainly you enjoy to be much better in bed, however do not wish to get any type of unsafe or suspicious medications or gadgets to boost as well as increase your power and also expertise in bed?
Sore Penis Masturbation Tips
For guys, self pleasure is a fantastic delight – but it does commonly featured the rate of an aching penis. While healing, it is vital that a man change his self-pleasuring methods to stay clear of re-injury.
Flaky, Dry Penis Skin – Sign of an Underlying Health Problem?
Dry penis skin is unsightly, uncomfortable as well as irritating – but could it likewise indicate a possible health issue? Learn extra concerning the sources of this irritating issue.
How to Get Stronger Erections to Improve Your Sex Life Without Using Drugs
If you wish to enjoy terrific sex, you require to have the capability to get a strong and tough erection. Sadly, impotence is typical among males and can cause huge dissatisfaction in bed. This post details a few of the most effective methods to aid you get tougher as well as stiffer erections without using medications.
Penis Size Concerns – When They Become Excessive
Many men fret about their penis size; some guys obsess over it. Find out the truths regarding tiny penis syndrome below.
Sore Penis Treatment: One Man Shares His Circumcision Story
Exactly how should a male manage an aching penis? One guy shares his story of penis discomfort and also recovery.
How to Get Rock Hard and Stiff Erections Naturally Without Drugs or Side Effects
Your efficiency in bed relies on the rigidness of your erections. However, ED is a typical issue that influences countless guys all over the world. This write-up lists some of the very best and also proven methods to aid you get more challenging and stiffer erections without making use of prescription medications.
from Male stroker https://malestroker.com/your-guide-to-anal-masturbation-anal-play-using-anal-toys-from-adam-and-eve/
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Astarion and Power - Part 2
Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were made up to the game version v4.1.101.4425. As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information.
Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in (post)
The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.
Astarion: abuser / victim
Disclaimer about interpretation victim/abuser: I’m not a fan of bringing the allegory to the plain explicit comparison with serious stuff from real life, but the fandom seems to focus a lot on this aspect and therefore I would like to share my opinion on it. This topic may be sensitive for some people. Be aware of it.
If we are going to engage into the comparison abuser/victim, from the section (Backstory: Mortal Astarion) we can assume that mortal Astarion was developed as an abuser so far the facts we got from the game/interviews. There is little doubt about it with the bits of information we have in EA. Maybe the full game or a retcon of his past may change this in the future.
As a vampire spawn, Astarion presents a duality abuser-victim that comes from the archetype of the “bad behaved victim”.
(Squeezing him in the shoulder. You try to connect, to let him know he's not alone- but he twists like a snake.) “No, I don't need your pity. I don't need anything from you. Go back to your wet dreams and leave me be.''
As a slave under Cazador’s power, humiliated and physically and psychologically tortured, he becomes a victim. He displays many of the most common behaviours of traumatised survivors: dismissal of the actions he suffered (humiliation and cruelty), sensitivity or violent rejection of gestures of pity, paranoia (for the abuser to appear at any moment), reiterative dreams focused on the abuser or their tortures, pride that may reach into arrogance of having survived tough situations. Considering that survival mode is his default, he can turn any of these aspects into tools to manipulate any potential benefactor (he may care little about). As long as he has a protector, he would do anything at his disposal to keep pleasant and agreeable to that benefactor (this characteristic is a permanent, constant, and obvious trait in his character).
But he is not a mere victim, he is also an abuser. And this aspect has been studied in psychology and sociology: it’s not a surprise that a good amount of abusers were victims before. There is a psychological process that can make victims prone to harness as much power as they can in order to avoid the abuse, and in doing so they become abusers. The fact that they can inflict similar or the same trauma on someone else, shifts the power imbalance they had always perceived in their life: the ex victim—now abuser—finds psychological relief. They find a way to perceive themselves as not powerless anymore, and this process can cross limits, making them enjoy when causing the same torture they suffered before. This is the (extremely brief and simplified) process known as the transformation of victim to victimiser (in a general violence-related way, not necessarily focused on sexual abuse), which tends to affect, so far the statistics show, a group of victims.
With this brief introduction of the topic from the real life (this is why I dislike so much these comparisons, serious stuff brought into a fantasy world always feels like dismissing the real life issue) we can understand that Astarion has acquired a twisted taste to enjoy the same torments he suffered on himself, but applied on creatures he considers lesser: animals and weak creatures [3,4,6,7,11]. There is pride in his survival [14]: he follows the philosophy: “if I could survive it, you could do it too, otherwise, you must perish”.
He enjoys humiliation [6,10], despite being one of the most sensitive aspects that could trigger a violent reaction in him when Tav tries to humiliate him (dialogue about the Bedchamber Master). He enjoys the power he can have over others, over their wills [11], and aspires to have the control of the tadpole, at first to be free of Cazador’s influence, but as long as the game progresses, his intentions become clearer: he wants to control the tadpole to become powerful: the most powerful vampire of Faerun and bend everyone’s will [12]. This aspect is also ironic and hypocritical since Astarion displays violent reactions against mind control or against any intervention of his mind, so it’s something that triggers him in particular (video here).
He also has a taste to enjoy cruelty on animals [4], maybe because of all the resentment he has against them for having been the only means to sustain himself (he is directing his cruelty and hatred to the wrong group of living creatures though). And he also finds entertainment in murder and bloodshed [2,3,13], just because of it, most probably because all these abuses are proofs that he is now “more powerful” than those suffering it. However, part of this could be explained due to the Dark Desires element of the vampirism, to be fair. But considering Astarion’s backstory, I would say that vampirism only deepens his already evil traits.
Also, as a comment aside, I like to highlight how all this characterisation defies the romantisation of the archetype of the “good victim”. A good victim is—explaining it briefly and oversimplified—the one who encourages to spread goodness, self-sacrifice; their pain is hidden and/or used to improve, tends to be a highly empathetic person in front of similar abuses they suffered. It’s the antipode of the “bad behaved victim.” Which is basically all what we see in Astarion: selfish, violent, whimsical, cruel, psychopath.
In conclusion, we can see Astarion as a vampire spawn who embodies the duality of Victim-Abuser.
However I would like to note that this is not a char where we can see how the victim becomes an abuser exclusively. In Astarion’s case, it is even more twisted because in his past he was a victimiser. His character lies on a Schrodinger duality: he was an abuser when he was mortal, he is an abuser and a victim at the same time as a vampire spawn (his torments can be understood as poetic justice since Astarion embodied the—corrupt—Justice himself), and he aspires to retake his abuser position in the future (so far EA allowed us to see it or the description of his characters in Larian’s web page), enjoying all the potential that the power of the tadpole can give him to “bend the will of others''.
Astarion’s story represents topics that should allow us to think about how abusers are created, how they could also be victims, and how victims are not always free of evilness. Astarion also embodies the concept of how far punishment makes sense, how you can punish the abuse if there is no justice, how to punish evilness when it’s placed to have control of the Justice itself. How could we understand the punishment of evil creatures when there is no repent but a deepening of their evil nature? And finally… Would any victim not desire for their abuser to have a punishment like Astarion’s?
I like to think that Cazador also represents the “modern prison system”, where criminals are gathered in panoptic structures (in this case, Astarion’s mind), tortured in many ways, while society expects them to recover. There is also the concept of how and when recovery is not possible anymore, because let’s be honest, saving people from dark paths is not always possible. Real life psychopath, serial rapists, and a broad amount of creatures who revel in torture and murder are beyond salvation. If we consider Cazador and Astarion as mirrored figures, it makes us think about how much of all of his story is about the eternal cycle of violence and about evilness without salvation. Also, this reflection of one on the other makes us believe that if there is no salvation for Cazador, there shouldn't be salvation for Astarion either; if Astarion can be saved… Cazador should too (after all, we don’t know anything about Cazador’s story). So many things to think about.
All these aspects and topics to think about are what make Cazador-Astarion dynamics worth understanding with a realistic and dark perspective of evilness, without woobifying Astarion as sadly a big part of his fandom does.
As a note of colour to finish this section, it’s interesting to re-read the paragraph I had written in the first part (Astarion and Power - Part 1) where I briefly described Cazador. If we replace Cazador by the word Astarion we will obtain a curious result:
>>>Astarion has a particular pleasure for control, especially the one related to people’s will (we can see this pleasure progresses over time, increasing it. His need for freedom turns slowly into wanting to have control on everyone, because with power he can do everything he wants to). He enjoys cruelty, humiliation, and torture (read the analysis post done (here), there are dozens of facts showing it). He enjoys playing psychologically with his victims. He also likes to give false hope, making his victims believe that there is hope, removing it right in front of them (the Arabella’s approvals about making her parents believe she is alive when she is not, Mayrina’s hope of reviving her husband).
There are so many questions left in the air: has Cazador imparted Justice? Is 200 years too long for a punishment? I don’t believe there is an easy answer here. First, because we are mixing serious real-life dynamics in a fantasy setup, with the twisted componen of vampirism (a fantasy element always considered an allegory of abuse, power, and rape) and second, despite the analogy is there, and the comparison can be done lightly, Astarion has a particular backstory, with a particular amount of meta-knowledge that makes those answers even more complicated.
Astarion’s Pain and Shallowness
Back scars scene (full Datamining info)
A pair of videos that pjenn has posted about Astarion’s scars on his back (1) (2) shows that he needs help to read it since he can’t see it in reflective surfaces due to his vampire nature. We get from the narrator:
* He might be sneering, but you can see pain in his eyes. He needs help, but doesn’t know how to ask. *
What we can infer from this is that Astarion, whether mortal or spawn, never asked for help, and if this is true, I’m confused. If he truly doesn’t know how to ask for help… what had been happening with all the previous interactions he had with Tav? Implicitly asking for help against Cazador? The only answer I have to explain why 25 hours of game with Astarion asking for help against Cazador are suddenly erased and now “he doesn’t know how to ask to”, is that all those 25 hrs are about manipulation. Not a true, honest, clean asking for help.
There is not much to say about this scene since it’s entirely under work so far.
Mirror scene (full Datamining info)
This scene is mostly about vanity and, again, manipulation.
He doesn't remember the colour of his eyes, and he barely remembers his face. As a vampire, he can‘t see his projection nor cast shadows. He explicitly says that he misses vanity, and even though it may be an honest loss he feels, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to use this moment as another hook to throw at Tav to keep them under his control as well as testing how deep his charm has reached Tav (If Tav shows appreciation, Astarion knows he keeps them under his thumb).
This scene basically shows that, even though evil characters/abusers also suffer (maybe the game would make us reflect eventually about Cazador’s pain?), and Astarion is stating his pain for losing things he appreciated: petty vanity (he can’t see himself in a mirror) and his memories (he has no memory of the colour of his eyes and his face is vague), he is still using all these moments to keep on working on his survival manipulation:
“(Vanity) is an indulgence, I’ll grant you that, but a weakness? A well-presented face can open a lot of doors.”
He has a personal drama, as he stated it at first, and the focus of all his conversation is always about how what he lost was a means for an end too.
If Tav is the one engaging into being his Mirror, Astarion engages to appraise the reach of his presence in Tav. If Tav simply states it’s a decent face, Astarion will push the engagement for that appraisal. If you mock him about his age and skin, he won’t be offended (after all the moment is not meaningful for him, it’s shallow), and he would insist on a proper praise, because he is trying to taste the ground.
The moment was meant to be used, and Astarion did it. It was not special to him:
"Mirrors are not much use, but being reflected in someone's else's eyes? I could do much worse.
If we do not derail the conversation in the funny moments where you can mock his beauty, age and skin, we keep gathering more information about what Astarion values the most:
Tav: “Is it all what you want? shallow praise?”
Astarion: "Hardly, there is also gold, sex, revenge, quite the list, really. But failing any of those, I will always settle for shallow praise."
There is another option in this scene where Tav says that vanity is a reasonable price for vampire powers, but for once, Astarion is not so eager about this power, because it comes with Cazador. He knows that the price is way much bigger.
Tav: “Vanity is a small price to pay to have vampire powers”.
Astarion: "To you. To me it's just another thing that Cazador took from me".
The only moment when you can get a more emotional reaction is when you mock him about age/beauty/skin. That is how shallow this scene is. If you are a githyanki and your compliments are a list of raw facts about his persona, even if they are good or bad, Astarion can’t appraise Tav with that, and gets frustrated.
Personally I think this scene has little value per se beyond the comedy, and even less value in terms of lore when you have Disguise spell available for so many characters. Anyone can disguise themselves as Astarion and he would finally see what he looks like… so… more reasons to show how cheap and shallow this scene is. Maybe that was the intention. Maybe it needs more work since, after all, it’s datamining info. There is not much to say about this scene since it’s entirely under work so far.
The concept of Redemption/endings
Among the (Datamined information) we have a set of gems under the name of Drunk bear (1) (2) (3) scenes, which speak more about Astarion and his relationship with Cazador and Power.
Tav: “You can start over. You can be better than what he made you.”
Ast: “Exactly. I can be better than him. Stronger, more powerful, more- oh, you meant “be kinder”? Pet bunnies, that sort of thing? I’ve no objection to being nice, of course. Once I have the power to bend others to my will.
T: “You think power lets you do anything free from consequences?”
A: “Well… yes. You can’t look at the world and tell me I’m wrong.”
T: “The strong have a duty to protect the weak”
A: “They’re doing a piss poor job, then. The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came. No, it was the mind flayers that rescued me. They gave me a gift: the strength to take my own freedom. I’m embracing this power- you should too.”
T: “You are free now. That’s what matters.”
A: “Is it? What good is freedom if I'm always watching in the shadows? No. I will be safe when I'm powerful enough to grind cazador into the dust. Powerful enough to do whatever the hell I want.”
T: “Power corrupts. You’d do well to remember that.”
A: “Oh I hope so. A little corruption sounds fun. I spent centuries as the victim of a corrupt man. It was the mind flayers that plucked me away from that.”
So far we see in this scene, Astarion reinforces his evilness, his desire for power, not just enough to save himself from Cazador’s claws, but to control other people, even though mind control is a triggering effect when it affects his own will. I believe in this interaction we see the contrast of the story that Astarion narrates mainly: the abuser who found a more powerful abuser. We shouldn’t forget he comes from a past where he was a corrupt magistrate. These words have almost a hypocrite meaning here. Astarion was a magistrate, by definition, someone who held power and should have helped those in despair, but he was corrupt and did not care. When he became a spawn, he ended up on the other side of the imbalanced power. He was the one asking for a powerful entity to help him, and none came, suffering a similar fate of despair than those who sought in him the concept of Justice and Power Used For Fairness. Like Astarion’s victims found freedom when a twisted creature like Cazador was incorporated into this situation, Astarion was free when the Mind flayers saved him from Cazador.
I will not repeat this again: Astarion, so far in Early Access, looks like the story that could explain why Cazador is who he is. These scenes bring once more, another of the many proofs along the game where we see that Astarion has not learnt anything from his torment, he has not improved, he has turned into a more twisted and evil man than he was when he was a mortal magistrate, and there is no intentions to become a little more sympathetic.
This brings me to think that, at least in EA, glimpses of future paths for Astarion may all be related to different degrees of evilness.
First of all, we need to remember that Astarion is an evil character, and if we assume that what Sven said in several interviews doesn’t change, Larian is going to break the style this worked in bg1 and bg2, not making big shifting of the alignment in companions. For this reason I think these endings would entitle variations of evilness.
Astarion keeps repeating over and over his opinion about power as the only means to have access to his freedom. And as long the game evolves, he began to reinforce the importance of having power to “do whatever he wants”. Considering his tastes (how much he enjoys cruelty and bloodshed) we can agree that Astarion “doing whatever he wants” is not a good thing for Faerûn. He finds murdering a fine show, an entertainment. Certainly Astarion is a child of Bhaal in his fullest.
He even mocks Tav when they comment about looking for self-improvement. “I can be better than him. Stronger, more powerful, more- oh, you meant “be kinder”? (...) Once I have the power to bend others to my will.” This is Cazador speaking.
So, considering these details, I would suggest (predict is a too strong a word for this) that we have chances to three different kinds of endings and their variations:
The first one, screaming in all what Astarion does: Astarion becomes a full vampire and ends up as the next Cazador. If his approval is high (or some hidden requirement is met) he can turn his lover into another full vampire. If these requirements are not met, in a spawn, repeating the cycle that Astarion suffered but now, on Tav.
The second one could be with Astarion killing Cazador remaining as a spawn and an agent of chaos and bloodshed. Maybe his relationship with Tav may help to have certain control on him (since we had seen that Astarion so far has been asking permission to kill npcs when the situation arises, so the MC could be turning into a master of choice.)
The third one, finding the cure of Vampirism, and letting Astarion continue with his life of evil corrupted magister.
Some people ask about the possibility of a Redemption arc. I hardly see it (especially if I keep in mind how bg1 and bg2 worked, they never offered a “real” redemption arc, just small shifts here and there.)
Redemption could be acquired, according to these fans, using two mechanics.
Astarion feels compassion out of the blue. He starts to have guilt for his past sins and develops empathy, despising cruelty. How? Who knows, so far in EA it has not been seen even once a hint, a scene, a bit of meta-knowledge in that direction. Honestly, so far we’ve seen, this option seems impossible to me, because Astarion has tons of chances to use the meta-knowledge of his approvals and disapprovals to show regret and empathy, and never happened. His character was always focused on himself, his vanity, his pain, his entertainment (which implies constant approval of cruel actions and torments and humiliation to others, especially the weak ones), his survival. If there is a character more far away from empathy right now in EA, it is Astarion. How do you start a redemption arc without the character showing compassion? No way.
Cure Vampirism. Vampirism is a curse, and therefore in the Forgotten Realm can be cured. But this, under no circumstances, can be considered a redemption arc. There is no redemption at all. The curse is lifted, and Astarion can return to be the same cruel magister he was before. No arc about remorse and empathy.
His character is the story of an abuser who found a greater abuser and became a victim of the latter, seeking to return to his previous power position but stronger. Despite suffering this abuse, that could be understood as poetic justice (more like accidental justice) at certain point, he never developed empathy for those sharing his conditions. In fact, he cares little to inflict on others what he has exactly suffered. I hardly believe there is something else going on “in layers” in him at the moment, since the meta-knowledge provided by the approval/disapproval shows otherwise. My point is, I see little material here showing change. But again, this is EA.
We can see how this exact detail is managed with Shadowheart, from her we know even less than with Astarion because her memory was erased, but so far, we know she has some soft spots that were never shown explicitly, so Tav is oblivious to this information while the player knows it.
This post was written on April 2021.
→ For more Astarion: Analysis Series Index
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First Date (A Reddie Fanfiction)
This was a commission requested by someone on Instagram. Happy first day of Pride Month! Enjoy the fic!
Eddie was not expecting an array of candles to be decorated around the apartment when he came out of the bathroom. How long was he in there for? He was just starting to walk with a walker. He was proving the doctors, and Myra, wrong. They claimed he was never going to walk again.
“Richie?” Eddie called out to his boyfriend. The whole apartment was dim. Oh, don’t tell me, Eddie thought to himself, he’s going to pop out and scare me like in the movie we saw last week.
But it was something completely different.
“Welcome to Tozier Trashmouth Tavern,” Richie greeted with a smile. He was standing all sophisticated, his chin pointed in the air like one of those butlers in the movies. Yeah, they were definitely watching too many movies together.
“Rich, what are you doing?” Eddie asked, puzzled.
“Your date should be here soon. He is running late,” Richie prepared the napkin.
“You’re a real weirdo, you know that, right?” Eddie snickered. He never smiled as much as this in years. At first, he thought moving to L.A. to be with Richie wasn’t a good idea, but he was happy to make the right decision in the end.
“If you’re going to leave a tip for the waiter I suggest that you refrain from calling him names. Have a seat,” Richie helped him sit down and he placed a napkin in his lap.
“What’s on the menu for tonight?” Eddie asked once he got situated. The candles were so lovely.
“Well, the person who requested me to make it told me to tell you, ‘we’re having spaghetti and meatballs, spaghetti-man!’” Richie answered with this big old smile.
A smile creased along Eddie’s face. “If you see the guy who requested it, flip him off for me, please?”
“Depends on how big the tip is.”
“When is my date going to be here anyway?” Eddie asked, frustrated, though he was still smiling.
Richie started out of the kitchen.”I’ll go check.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. The spaghetti smelled amazing. Who knew that Richie was such a good cook. And he couldn’t cook anything. He wasn’t allowed to by both his mother and his ex-wife. God, what a sad thing. Once he was stronger he was going to prepare several meals for Richie as a thank you.
Alerted by someone clearing his throat, it was Richie. Oh, great he was wearing the Hawaiian shirt that made him turn his nose up. Well, it wouldn’t be a date if he didn’t. Ah, his first date with Richie Tozier. Never thought he’d ever say that in a million years.
“Hope I’m not late. You wouldn’t believe the traffic!” Richie sat himself down.
“From our bedroom to the kitchen?” Eddie sniped.
“Do you know that you look gorgeous in the glow of candles?” his boyfriend complimented. Leaning his head in his hands. The way Richie stared at him adoringly made Eddie’s heart flutter.
“Is the waiter going to bring us something to drink?” Eddie asked.
“Yes, he told me that he prepared the best sangrias.” He stood up to go to the refrigerator. He poured Eddie a drink. Myra never allowed him to drink - at least when she was around that is.
“You didn’t make yourself a bourbon?” Eddie asked.
Richie was silent for a moment pouring himself a glass. “I kind of only drink it when I’m nervous.”
“Nervous? Wait, you mean you were nervous when we all met up at the Chinese restaurant?” Eddie turned his head up quizzically.
“Well, duh! I completely forgot about fighting a psycho clown, my best friends, and...” he cut himself off, averting his gaze somewhat.
“And what?” Eddie asked him.
“Uh... I remembered you,” Richie answered, shyly. Just like when they were kids, Richie was still sky under that energetic and humorous personality of his. Eddie didn’t mind. He loved a man with layers.
Eddie reached across the table to touch his hand. “Once I remembered you I had you on my mind during the whole drive to Derry. I kept imagining what you looked like.
“Were you satisfied with the results?” Richie snickered, sipping his drink.
“I am satisfied,” Eddie told him sincerely.
Richie flushed, a small smile creasing along his face.
“Can I ask you something?” Eddie asked him.
“Shoot!”
“How come you’re not nervous now? It’s our first date.”
“Well, I guess ‘cause we finally admitted our feelings to each other. And we’ve been living together for a month now. Guess I didn’t realise it.”
Eddie smiled at the answer. He didn’t feel nervous either. In contrast to his first date with Myra (which his mother set up) he was fumbling for his inhaler, sweating, and couldn’t think of anything to say.
Next, Richie served him his spaghetti with meatballs. He even placed a piece of butter on a small plate. Taking his first bite of the meal, Eddie audibly voiced how delicious it was.
“Mm, where did you learn how to cook, Rich?”
“Well, my mom showed me a few tips when I was kid. Plus when you’re living on your own, you have to cook,” Richie explained.
Eddie looked at him over the candle light. “Have you...” he stopped.
“What?”
“No, this is our date, forget about it. It’s not the right conversation.”
“Who says anything is the right conversation on a first date?”
“I’m curious to know how you know that,” Eddie leaned forward, curious.
“Oh, when I first moved out here, it was kind of lonely before I became famous. So, I went on some dates. One of them, Rhonda, I think her name was, blabbed about the stupidest things! And another time this one woman tried to talk me into going to Paris with her - the next day!”
Eddie laughed. There was a brief moment of silence. “So, have you ever dated any guys?”
Richie just shook his head. “No.”
“Why? If it’s okay to ask.”
Richie looked into his eyes, a sorrowful tone in them. “I was scared.”
Reaching across to touch his hand again, Eddie gave him a tight squeeze. “I really wish I didn’t forget you.”
“Hey, it wasn’t just you. It was that stupid curse,” Richie reassured him.\
Enjoying their meal, the couple laughed over stories. They also griped, which was their trademark. Oh, they bickered so much when they were kids that they drove their friends mad. Mainly Stan that is.
“Rich?”
“Huh?” Richie asked. He realized that were was a beat of silence.
“Are you okay?” he asked, gently rubbing his hand up his arm. “You went all quiet.”
“Oh, yeah, I... uh, just remembered Stan,” he said, melancholic. “Sometimes I forget that Stan is dead. I wonder if he still would have rolled his eyes if he sat between us at the restaurant.”
Eddie laughed. “I think he would have splashed his drink in your face!”
Now Richie bellowed in laughter. He laughed so hard that tears welled up in his eyes. “And he would have told us to ‘shut up’!”
“You know what, Rich,” Eddie remarked, smiling into the table. Richie loved seeing him smile. Seeing Eddie happy meant the world to him. The first month of Eddie’s recovery process was a tough one. Even though he wasn’t the one who was injured, Richie could still feel the pain that Eddie endured. As long as he could make Eddie laugh, it was enough for him.
“We need to thank Mike,” Eddie told him. “He did get us back together after all.”
“I wonder how his place in Florida is. He’d better find someone good after being locked in Derry his whole life.”
“Did we ever thank him?” Eddie pondered. “I know Bill must have. With all the chaos from my injury, I don’t remember.”
Richie snickered. “You were on a lot of drugs. If only I could have recorded what you said!”
“You realize that you talk in your sleep, right?” Eddie turned up his brow
“Well, your snoring isn’t a pleasure!” Richie retorted.
“Don’t even get me started on that with you!”
Richie laughed. He laughed so loudly that the neighborhood could hear him. “Oh, Eds, this date is better than I imagined it would be.”
“Call me Eds again and I will toss this meatball in your face!” Eddie threatened.
“You love being called Eds and you know it!”
Again, they fell into silence just staring into one another's eyes. This all felt like a dream. Some nights Richie was afraid to fall asleep, fearing that Eddie wouldn’t be next to him when he woke up.
“Did the waiter leave us any dessert?” Eddie asked, mesmerized by Richie’s blue eyes.
“Tell you what, I’ll pay the bill and we can eat brownie sundaes out on the couch while we watch movies?”
Eddie nodded. Richie helped him stand. Lingering, Eddie wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s torso. Smiling up at him, he kissed him under the bright glow of the candles. This was the best date ever.
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6 Positive Health Benefits of Flowers
Life can be tough and stress-filled, with the daily demands of our hectic lives!
Between our work, home, relationships, and social life, it can make us feel like it's all too much. While we're grateful for having these things, there's no doubt that everyday stress can take a huge toll on our health.
Getting flowers may not be the top thing on your mind when you have negative feelings. But it can actually have a lasting positive impact on our physical and emotional wellbeing!
In fact, did you know there's scientific research that proves why and how flowers bring us joy? Experts say that even getting or looking after blooms can create huge changes in our lives.
In this article, we'll look into the six key benefits of flowers on our health and wellness.
Let's learn why flowers are more than decor. We'll see how they actually help us rediscover passion for and pleasure in life!
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American Institute of Floral Designers
Society of American Florists
American Floral Endowment
Instantly boosts mood
We all have days when we're feeling stressed, irritated, or just blue. But flowers can bring a smile to anyone's face, even after the roughest day!
And there's scientific proof to back this sentiment up. A study at Rutgers University called for giving participants one of three presents: a candle, a fruit basket, or a bouquet of flowers.
The result? Across all age groups, 100% of participants showed true pleasure when they were given flowers! Reactions to the candles and fruit basket changed. But for flowers, the response was universal: it was pure happiness!
This is because flowers trigger the release of "happy chemicals" in our brains, such as dopamine and serotonin. These create positive emotions, like being happy or thrilled. It's why we instantly feel ecstatic even at the first sight of flowers.
We often associate flowers with positive emotions. Lively colors make us feel invigorated. Fragrant aromas can take us back to happier memories.
That's why one of the best ways to cheer up a friend or loved one is to surprise them with a lovely floral bouquet. Whatever they're dealing with, you'll see their face brighten up with a glowing smile!
Provides long-term relief from stress and anxiety
Flowers do more than provide a quick mood lift. They also have long-lasting positive effects on our mental and emotional health!
We face stress every single day, so it's normal to feel troubled or overwhelmed sometimes. To resist this, get flowers! Blooms have a naturally calming, relaxing effect.
In fact, research shows that people who keep blooms in their home feel less pressured and much happier. They exude positive vibes that lighten up a room and even our mindset in life.
Having flowers around your home or office can lower stress and anxiety levels. They provide a sense of hope and revival, even when we're facing problems in our daily lives.
They're not only for decor or a quick fix for low moods. They can bring more cheer to our homes and lives, too!
Helps with sleep troubles
Getting a full night's sleep is critical to how we feel the next day. It plays a big role in our analytical thinking, energy, and state of mind. Without it, we're prone to bursts of emotion and trouble with daily demands.
But there are a lot of people who struggle with getting a good night's rest. It can be quite hard to sleep especially with consistent worries and stress.
Flowers with sweet, tranquil aromas can help you sleep more easily. Studies have revealed that lavender and jasmine have proven specifically helpful for this. Their scents make us feel calm and at ease.
Placing them in the bedroom also helps keep up restful sleep all through the night. This way, you're more likely to wake up feeling ready for the day!
Speeds up healing process
When friends or loved ones are unwell, we often send them flowers. This shows our care and well wishes for healing. But this is more than just tradition!
In 2008, a medical team found that patients who had plants and flowers in their rooms had lower heart rates and blood pressure. They needed a lot less pain meds and felt less fatigue than those whose rooms didn't have blooms.
Patients also conveyed that they felt more love and affection with flowers. This feeling allowed them to undergo the challenges of healing with more hope. Even better, it helped reduce their recovery time.
What a testament to the power of the mind and the healing surprises of flowers!
Encourages creativity and productivity
Looking for inspiration in your work or creative life? We've found an easy solution for you!
Flowers are a natural stress reliever. That's why placing them in our work space can help chase away worries!
When our stress levels drop, we enjoy our work more and accomplish more tasks. It also helps us produce new ideas, solve problems quickly, and feel satisfied in our work.
Not only do flowers boost how much work you do, they've also been proven to enrich its quality! Studies show that people who have blossoms in their office tend to have higher accuracy rates and better efficiency than those who work in bare offices.
Color is linked to these positive cognitive effects. Blue flowers boost creativity, while red flowers improve attention to detail.
Feeling bogged down by work? Go ahead and set a vase of fresh flowers in your office or workspace! Not only would it add a flair of charming decor, it might even do wonders for your co-workers and people around you.
Creates deeper bonds with others
Flowers help us convey our love and affection for our loved ones, significant others, and friends. But did you know they can actually have a long-term effect on our relationships?
Seeing flowers produces a chemical in our brains called oxytocin. This is also known as the "bonding hormone". It helps us feel connected to and intimate with the people around us.
This is why giving and getting flowers on special events builds up relationships!
Like flowers, relationships need to be taken care of so they can blossom. Putting the work in something as simple as picking flowers can help us create deeper bonds with each other.
Blooms also have an impact on our concern and openness towards others, not just the people in our lives. Research shows that people who care for plants and flowers typically have more warmth towards others.
This extends to their readiness to aid those in need. They are also known to be more inviting to strangers. This means they have richer and more enjoyable social lives!
Having flowers and plants all around us lets us appreciate the treasures of life even in our tough moments. Tending to their needs helps increase our care and regard for others.
Flowers can help us manage worries and negatives thoughts in a healthier way. Keeping in touch with the beauty of life and nature can make us feel joyful, hopeful, and inspired!
Even in small ways, they create fantastic changes to our demanding lives. They remind us that with a little care and patience, our lives can continue blooming beautifully!
Click here to read our article about Top 10 Trendy Floral Arrangement.
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Hey, nobody asked for it, but I did the entire NSFW alphabet for Zelda because I could and here it is on your dash.
Under 18 don’t interact I’ll die
Anyway horny under the cut
[A] Aftercare
So here’s the thing about Zelda: she’s got the stamina of someone twice her size. No matter what role her partner takes/she takes, unless she has been completely worn out, she’ll take care of the cleanup/
Her favorite way to relax with her partner afterwards (or between rounds, if they have the energy) is with their head on her chest, so she can wrap her arms around them and run her fingers through their hair. Especially so if their hair is longer - she’ll play with it until she passes out, hand still half woven into the hair at the nape of their neck.
Sometimes, if she’s really into her partner, she’ll weave illusions for them. The ceiling of her room is enchanted, done just so to mirror the stars outside, but she’ll add her own magic to the enchantment so she can pull the stars down to her level. The constellations coalesce, tiny strands of light dancing between her fingers and down her arms, letting her manipulate them into creatures from everywhere between the depths of the sea and the highest mountain’s peak.
[B] Body Part (their favorite of theirs & their partner)
On herself - she likes her hips. Some of it is utility - balancing a basket is easy between her hand and hip and it’s convenient - and it’s the natural place her hands fall when she’s thinking or talking. But they’re also a good place to squeeze, with just enough softness to her to make it comfortable no matter why you’re clutching her hips.
On her partner - Zelda enjoys people’s hands. Not only for the pleasure they can provide, but also for the stories a person’s hands tell. She’ll take in the scars, the curves, the lines, whether your nails are manicured and well cared for or rough with ages of physical labor. No matter what, she’ll bring their hands to her lips, press a kiss to their knuckles and smile as she gives them a squeeze.
Also, if she’s bottoming and her partner (equipped with a strap or nature’s strap) holds her hand as they’re lining up? Oh my god, she fuckin’ dead
[C] Cum (anything to do with it)
She’s kinda neutral on this one? She doesn’t go wild for it but she doesn’t hate it
Please don’t cum on her face, that will have her nope out of the situation so fast (unless you’re afab in which the answer is please do she’ll feel like she did good)
Amab, just warn her and she’ll swallow instead
And if you want to cum on her, ask, because that’s not always something she’s into anyway. That has weird marking connotations for her.
She’s more pleased to know that she’s the one who made you feel that good rather than seeing the cum itself
As for her, she eats a lot of fruit, so hers ends up tasting sweet above all else, so if you’re not a fan tough shit because she won’t stop eating her fruit
[D] Dirty Secret
Really wishes someone would just drag her into a private space, pin her up against the wall, and take her right there. Clothing removed beyond the necessary is optional.
Like...full legs thrown over her partner’s arms, hips slapping together, having to bite down on her hand to keep from alerting anyone that she’s being absolutely railed in the shop’s backroom while loving every second of it.
She’s normally a ‘soft and slow’ person but that’s been one of her fantasies for a long time and she’s never felt comfortable enough with a partner to ask them to do that
Zelda, you’re drooling, get it together this is only the fourth letter
[E] Experience
Not wildly experienced. I’d say, in any timeline, she’s only had maybe two partners that got to a point of sexual encounter. It’s not that she’s opposed to casual flings (she’s had one or two), she just doesn’t always click with people, and she needs that connection to feel attracted enough to engage in a sexual relationship of any kind.
[F] Favorite Position
Lotus, for sure
She likes riding/being on top but she really generally enjoys the connection of being able to see her partner, kiss them as much as she wants, press her forehead against theirs
But also she’s up for smothering someone in kisses while giggling if they squeeze her sides in a weird way that makes her feel ticklish and that’s easiest to do when you can face your partner
[G] Goofy (are they serious or humorous in bed)
Definitely goofy. She’ll laugh it off when bodies make a weird noise, crack jokes, and bonus points if you dish it back.
Sex for her is about having a good time, and not just the pleasure aspect of it.
If you’re serious in bed go away her four-poster is for lighthearted sex only
[H] Hair
Definitely keeps things trimmed neatly, because she can’t stand the feeling of it getting long, nor can she even begin to tolerate the feeling of hair growing back after shaving it all off. She’s done that, she regretted it deeply.
A little lighter than the hair on her head, and let’s be real she probably oils it because she likes being generally soft and also prepared for a hypothetical encounter
[I] Intimacy
Intimacy comes easier to her if you reciprocate, obviously
Spread across the act, from foreplay to aftercare
Lots of gentle touches and soft words of praise
Feels most connected to someone during sex the more intertwined with them she is - hence why she likes the Lotus position. It’s easy to see them, watch their pleasure, press gentle kisses to their lips and face and smooth back their hair
In a relationship, it’s the most intense way she can show her care for her partner, given that she’s already quite physical
Please cuddle her after she just has so much love in her body for her partner and needs to express it
[J] Jack - off (masturbation hc)
Zelda usually has trouble getting off on her own, so this isn’t something she tries often, but her most successful effort involved a rather potent aphrodisiac and a dildo
With those + her fingers for clitoral stimulation? That’s probably the only time she successfully reached orgasm on her own
Which ties into her biggest kink/preference...
[K] Kink
Overstimulation.
Since she can’t often climax on her own, and if her partner is willing, she’ll go until she drops
Especially with the combo of g-spot and clitoral stimulation, she’d die and go to heaven
Prefers to be
Laid out beside her partner so she can kiss them with their hand between her thighs
Straddling their face and grabbing something, be it the headboard or some fixture on the wall
Or laying back on the bed, hands buried in her partner’s hair and her thighs hitched over their shoulder
Do not recommend a sixty-nine if you’re overstimulating her because she will get so into pushing her hips into your face she’ll kinda forget to reciprocate
[L] Location
Prefers to be somewhere private and comfortable, which usually means her home. Otherwise, she is content to have sex involving any surface in her house.
Except for the shop display case, please don’t make her polish that thing more than she has to she’ll be so salty afterwards
[M] Motivation (turn ons etc)
Intelligence (big brain sexy)
Seeing someone blush
A hand on the small of her back or on her knee
Idle fingers tracing patterns on her thighs, innocently or not so
Someone she’s already attracted to smelling absolutely delectable
Kisses on the inside of her wrist will really get her
So will kissing her freckles
[N] NO (turn offs, deal breakers, things they wont do ever etc)
Zelda’s only hard no is public sex, because she’s too noisy, but she’s willing to try almost anything at least once
She’s not into receiving pain (save for like, a smack on the ass/a bite/a hickey/etc) and not really into choking (also receiving) but just about anything else is fair game
[O] Orgasm Denial (how do they do it, do they like it done to them)
100% willing to give
Prefers oral as her tool of choice, but will alternate between mouth and hands to offer kisses as her partner settles down
Never cruel about it, always willing to relent if you use your safe word or ask her to let you cum
Really, really doesn’t like receiving
She doesn’t get to get off on her own and she’s not gonna deny herself guaranteed pleasure if she can help it
Will be a no unless she’s been with you long enough to know you won’t leave her high and dry
[P] Pace
Usually prefers softer and slower sex, mostly because she likes taking her time. However, if you’ve been teasing her all day? She will have you pinned to the door of your place or hers before it really has time to shut.
[Q] Quickie (where, how often, do they like them)
Likes them, but has to be in the mood for them
She doesn’t really like feeling rushed when trying to enjoy herself and make sure her partner is too
However, a promise of a more thorough round later usually is enough to placate her
[R] Risk (experiments, do they like pushing themselves/their s/o)
She’ll try anything once, but don’t spring it on her in the middle of the act. She’d rather sit down with her partner and talk about it, maybe do some research, give her time to understand the best way to go about it and what they need to do it properly. She’s not really spur of the moment.
However, positions? That she’ll try in a heartbeat. If Zelda could be described by one word, it would be curious.
[S] Stamina
Lots of stamina. Faster sex wears her out more, so her preferred slower pace is part of it, but she just generally has a lot of energy. Could go multiple rounds, and her partner’s recovery time just extends her stamina a bit more.
Really shouldn’t have this much stamina but part of it comes from a lot of time doing physical work in the shop/her garden so whoops
Cold showers have been a useful tool when she just can’t settle down
[T] Toys (do they own any, do they use them, how often, where)
She has a few different styles of dildos and vibrators that she’s tried to see if she could find something for her that works, but nothing really does, so they’re all shoved in a box under her bed.
Are aphrodisiacs applicable? Because she absolutely has and will experiment on her own with them, otherwise their involvement is up to her partner
[U] Unfair (how do they tease)
Really dependent on her partner and what she knows gets them going
Generally lots of subtle, under the table touches that could possibly be construed as a mishap
At least until she squeezes your thigh or skims her fingers far too high up for it to possibly be a mistake at all
[V] Volume (how loud, what do they sound like, what sounds they make)
Very pretty sounds. She won’t get vocal unless her partner explicitly tells her it’s okay, and until then she’ll bite her hand or her lip to keep quiet.
Not vulgar when she speaks during it - kinda polite, actually, paired with sighs of delight if you oblige any requests she makes (see below for examples if you desire)
“May I touch you here?”
“What are you doing? I can’t kiss you properly if - oh. Oh. No, please, keep going, I -” (cue some mild incoherent babble)
“Please, please, more”
“Yes, hah, right there - oh!”
[W] Wild Card (random NSFW hc)
She broke a headboard one time while riding someone’s face (grabbing onto it) and she’s never been able to look at one the same since
Sometimes in her post-overstimulated orgasm headspace she’ll thank her partner a couple times in this dreamy little voice and kiss the closest part of them she can reach without moving
If you’re overstimulating her, especially if you’ve been at it for a little bit, she’ll start to speak in her native dialect (Neviv/Nevivonic/whatever you hc Julian and Portia to speak. I believe it’s Russian sue me) \If you happen to speak it, she might just cum then and there
[X] X - ray (what do they have going on under their clothes)
Usually doesn’t end up with matching undergarments but if she does you know she wants to get laid
Lots of lacy underthings and thin bralettes because full bras are The Devil, typically bright colors for fun
If she’s feeling really saucy, she’ll go with a full bralette/panties/garter belt/stockings combo just to really show off for her partner once the outer layers come off
Usually she just ends up laying around her house in nothing but her panties and knee socks that match in no other way but height and texture
She has a near perfect heart shaped birthmark, right where her inner left thigh meets her pelvis. She likes it, but teasing her about it or kissing it will make her both melt and go cherry red.
Fun fact: if you leave a hickey anywhere near it, that’ll get her going like nobody’s business
[Y] Yearning (how often to they think of sex, how long can they go without it etc)
She can go without it for a while, but she’s got a high sex drive, so she doesn’t want to
Sex really only comes to Zelda’s mind when her partner does something that really gets to her (see Motivations)
Willing to Yearn if she’s not sure the sexual feelings are reciprocated
[Z] Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep, do they snuggle, etc)
Very affectionate and very cuddly. Catch her with her forehead pressed to her partner’s, giggling a little as she rubs her nose against theirs, smiling into kisses and burying her face in their hair as she lets her hands wander idly.
However, unless you’ve totally worn her out, don’t expect her to fall asleep right away.
One time she cleaned the whole shop after masturbating at like four AM and she’s never gotten it that clean again
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Race Wrap Up – Cave Creek Thriller 50k
Special thank you again to Aravaipa Running for another great event this past Saturday. Grateful to all the staff, volunteers, support, and of course, the other runners. They were able to hold this race in a safe and healthy manner, on a beautiful course, on a fantastic day, even during a pandemic – so thank you Aravaipa for continuing to do what you do! Also thank you to Robin and the girls for coming out to the finish – always awesome to see your faces. Lastly, special thank you and an incredible congratulations to Jacob Ferguson on his first ultramarathon. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to help Jacob get to the finish line and what a pleasure it was. As with ultra’s it was a grind and he show tremendous grit and perseverance throughout. This was my 2nd time running this race and the first 18 miles are smooth, flat, and very runnable. The back half is mostly climbing and can be incredibly difficult if you go out too fast (which Jacob did for a stretch 😊). However, he pushed through the pain cave and was running well the final few miles to close it out. Very proud of you brother and thank you again for having me along for the ride.
It was another early morning for us to get the shuttle and get out to the start line for our 645am wave start. Ironically, Jacob and I were in the same wave so that made things easier to get going. The temps were crisp, and our headlamps were turned on for the first few miles. Once you step off the start line you hit the Maricopa Trail and after a little bit of a climb it is pretty much all flat, runnable terrain for miles. We went off nice and easy and took advantage of a beautiful sunrise. At this point, in the one picture, Jacob started to pick up his pace. Since he is almost a foot taller than me, I knew his stride was likely tough to manage at the pace we were at, so I let him stretch things out for a few miles without scolding him for going to fast 😊. He managed himself well and we settled back into the same pace as the miles ticked by until the first aid station. We were moving really well, and we changed things up a bit as we were approach the 2nd aid station, which was mile 16. At this point, this was the farthest Jacob had ever run. This is what was awesome about this day, never ran past 15 miles and he was going to double that distance in this race. That is freaking awesome. Talk about pushing yourself well beyond your limits. So, you can image at this point his body was responding to this and things were tightening up, getting sore, and tired. We decided to run a mile and then hike for a ¼ mile until we started the climbing over the last 12 miles. The mission was to get him to the finish line, so we were not worried about time. We kept this strategy over the next 6 miles or so to the next aid station. At this point, it was time for him to take a seat, get some nutrition in him, and get things together for the final 9 miles and climbing. He was definitely in the pain cave at this point when one of the aid station volunteers suggested he have some pickle juice. That was the ingredient he needed to get him to that finish. We left the aid station fueled up and began our climbing over the next 6 miles are so until the last aid station. This part of the course we are both very familiar with and we hiked, ran, hiked, ran through portions and I kept asking questions to keep his mind from thinking too much. A couple of miles out from the last aid station there was a long, gradual downhill. As we hit it I could here footsteps behind me, running and the big guy was right on my heels, so we decided to run that stretch. It was a good several minutes of running and he was moving good although feeling the effects of 26+ miles at this point. By the time we hit that last aid station, with only three miles left, he was smiling and feeling good that he will have doubled his distance ever ran and finished is first ultra. Once you leave that last station, it is about a mile climb up and then pretty much all downhill to the finish line. We passed a few groups of folks riding horses which gave us a little bit of a break to slow down and provided just what Jacob needed to finish off the last stretch with a strong finish.
He did what he set out to do and finished his first ultramarathon. I was grateful to have the shot to be there firsthand. Those that are in the sport and the community know how big of a deal it is to finish your first. It is very special. For me, I get more gratification on experiencing what I did on Saturday versus me doing one by myself. Yeah, when you are by yourself and cross that finish line there is a sense of satisfaction, but to help someone do it, so much more fulfilling. As you can see from the pictures, our families were they to celebrate and we had a chance to enjoy a tasty beer once completed.
This was the last race for me for 2020 – it was a wacky and wild year but still feel that we got a lot accomplished on the trails. We certainly had to get creative with making up some of our own little challenges and the racing companies did as well, holding a lot of virtual events. However, we are grateful for those teams that put in the appropriate protocols to hold races and we are grateful to have been able to run in a few of them. The next few weeks we will be dialing things back a bit, resting, getting some recovery in, and enjoy the holidays. We will pick things back up in early January to start training for the big one in May (more to come on that one in the future 😊). Until then, congrats again to Jacob and Happy Holidays everyone!
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Figure It Out - Mitch Rapp Imagine
Author: dylanowhy (me)
Summary: You are one of the best hackers the world has ever heard of, but now the United States is in trouble and your head is wanted on a stick. Irene has took it upon herself to make Mitch Rapp your babysitter.
Pairings: Mitch Rapp x Reader
Warnings: Language. Angst. Kissing.
Word Count: 3,165
A/N: This one is in Mitch’s POV! Hope you enjoy, there will be a part three.
Part I
She reminded him of her. The way she could be so caring about someone she just met. Her sarcastic remarks, even her smile. Fuck, her smile was as beautiful as they come. This wasn’t something he ever thought he would be doing – thinking of touching and kissing another woman. The only thing in his mind ever being Katrina and how much he loved her. He missed her daily,he wouldn’t be in this position if he didn’t. he promised himself if he could help it, he wouldn’t let anyone go through what he did. Watching the love of your life die right before your eyes while you lay helpless, it changes a man. It caused such a wall to become a part of him. A wall that only a few years ago wouldn’t have been up. A wall that when he was around (Y/N), it wanted to comedown.
His lips moved quickly, hungry. It had been so, so long since he had been this close to something so sweet, so innocent regardless of the reasoning of why she was here. His hands touched soft flesh in places he hadn’t explored in a while. The hums that were coming from her mouth were so enticing, so inviting, even if he knew it was right to stop, he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to do it. He wasn’t sure how the kiss became so heated, her thighs now straddling his as his hands firmly pressed on the small of her back, bodies harsh against each other. A moan escaped from her, echoing in his ears. He was so lost in the joy that surrounded him, in the noises and pleasure he was giving and receiving just by the smallest touches. So, lost he didn’t hear the door open, just the angry slam as someone entered.
“Sorry to interrupt.” The voice wasn’t sincere, it was full of disgusted, a voice that rang in Mitch’s mind non-stop. He looked, head snapping away from the girl in front of him and going back to mute. He stood, tossing the girl to the side. He knew it was rude, knew he would regret it. Part of him wanted to look at her with apologetic eyes, but he knew better, wanted to spare anything that could be adding on to the lecture he was about to receive. “We were just –” She started to say, started to protest and stick up for him. He questioned why she did that so much, it was another part of her that he well, liked.
“Did I ask you?!” Stan’s voice was loud, booming in the room. Mitch moved to the side, blocking her view of Stan, protecting her. “Are you fucking serious?” Stan stepped up to him, nearly nose-to-nose, but he didn’t budge, just looked him dead in the eyes, standing his ground. His job was to protect her, and that job had just become somewhat personal in ways unimaginable. “Come here.” And with that Stan’s arm was around his neck, pulling him and dragging him out of the room. He could have fought back, but there were a few things he had learned these past few years. He knew better. His heart tug at the sounds of (Y/N) shouting out, protesting what was happening. But it was better if what was about to happen happened in private, somewhere she couldn’t see.
He landed with a thud, reaching up and placing a hand on his head, the room slightly spinning from being so light headed. “Never thought you’d be the one to do this.” Stan began, “Out of all people, I pushed you the hardest, I tried to make you the best. For what? All so that you could go fuck everything up for some girl?” Mitch gritted his teeth at that, fists clenching, trying not to speak aloud. “What the fuck is wrong with you? What ever happened to not making it personal?” Stan was frantic, and Mitch was getting fed up. “Sir.” Mitch tried to protest, but Stan wasn’t having it. “Do not! You’re so busy thinking with your dick, someone could have come in –” He slammed his fist against the wall, the noise making Mitch flinch. “—Killed the both of you, you never would have seen it coming.”
“What is it Mitch? She remind you of your ex? Huh?” It happened out of nowhere, fist meeting with flesh and bone. Mitch couldn’t contain himself, Stan had taken it too far. However, that was always Stan’s favorite thing to do. To push Mitch in ways that no other ever could. He knew at one glance, things were about to get bad and his training was about to come into play. Stan started with a right hook, blocked by Mitch’s left hand as he twisted Stan’s arm back. “We’re really doing this?” Stan asked, voice strained as he was in an unlikable position, his elbow coming up and hitting Mitch in the nose. He staggered back, but was immediately back at it again as he launched himself forward. Swing after swing, he landed some but Stan was strong and never backed down, even after his recovery he was still remarkable. Stan grabbed Mitch by the throat, holding on tightly as he slammed him against the wall twice.
“You listen to me, and you listen to me good. She might seem innocent, but she still knows a lot. I don’t what she is capable of and neither do you. Your job is to watch her not sleep with her. If I suspect anything else, I will rip you off this job myself. Do I make myself clear?” Mitch struggled to breath as he looked at Stan through downcast eyes. “Do I make myself clear?” Stan’s voice was low, clear to his ear, but he knew not to put up another fight. Knew to just walk away while he still could. “Yes sir.” He replied, voice raspy as Stan finally let him go. “Take a shower, I’ve got the girl for the night.” Stan said while he exited the room. Mitch let out a breath as the pain started to settle in his body. He made it to the bathroom, taking his shirt to reveal the now forming bruises underneath. He sucked in a breath as he grazed his ribs. “Great.” Was all he could muster before taking the rest of his clothes off and turning the shower as hot as it could possibly go.
The warmth on his skin hurt, and he should have been in massive pain but it gave him a sense of feeling. Something he was usually incapable of doing. He let the water drench his hair, sighing at the feeling. He knew that Stan was just doing what was right, what he himself was just too blind to see. He put everyone’s life in danger by letting something as useless as feelings get in the way of a mission. That wasn’t him, couldn’t be him. He wouldn’t allow it to be him. Knew it was something that would cause more problems, even if it was what he really wanted. The worst thing about being in the shower was the void that his mind led to. The thoughts that ran through him were dangerous, threatening. He kept his showers short because of that reason alone.
When he walked out of the bathroom, his bag that had been in the room previous was now laid neatly on the bed and he felt the corners of his mouth tug down. He secretly wanted a reason to go over there, to let her know that he was fine and that everything was okay. This was his problem, he cared too much, he had to shake the idea from his head. He got dressed in shorts, not bothering to put a shirt on. His hair still damp from the water, he didn’t mind as he laid down in the bed. He had to sleep but part of him didn’t feel like he would be able to do so. So, he laid there, staring up, mind blank as the hours went by.
The morning came at a slow pace. His body feeling the full-on pain from the fight with Stan the night before. When he got out of bed he made sure to look at himself in the mirror, he had a small cut on his left cheek and a slight gash on his right temple, but it wasn’t near what he had been through before so he looked over it. He was quick to get dressed and be ready for whatever was to come today, something he would soon find out as the door of the room opened. In walked in (Y/N) and Stan, the older male making sure to mask the younger female. His attempt was just that, the girl breaking through hurrying to Mitch as she reached to touch his face. “Mitch.” She whispered.
It was like a stare competition between the two men, and Mitch couldn’t help but feel like this was a test. He gripped her hand, holding it tightly as he tossed it away. The look of hurt in her eyes, the way that she started to shrink away from him, like she didn’t even know him. He had to turn his head, had to look away, had to stay tough. “Strictly business.” He said, voice trying to match his harsh stance and he could have sworn he saw Stan smile at that. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way. I have to meet Irene. Can I trust you two? Alone?” Stan’s eyes began to dart between the two of them, but she answered before he could, “You don’t have to worry about it.” And those words, they cut him more than any knife ever could.
It was another round of silence as the two sat. She kept looking over at him, and he kept an eye on her through his peripheral vision. “Are you going to ignore me?” She asked, and he did. He tried his damn hardest to not say anything back to her. “So that was a fluke? A mistake?” And it pained him, it really did but his response was, “Yes.” He kept looking straight, trying to block her out. Trying not to focus how close she was, hell, how good she smelt. “Bullshit. You’re full of shit, did you know that? That last night, that was you Mitch. The real you, a part of you that has been lost.” It was his turn to get angry this time, slamming his fist on the night stand, he was really starting to turn in Hurley, really becoming something that he never really set out to be.
“You don’t know me, you don’t know a damn thing about me.” His kept his harsh vibe, tried to play it off, tried to act like she wasn’t right. “That’s not true.” Her voice was closer and he realized that she had moved, steadily walking closer. “I know that if were truly mad at me right now, this would be worst. A lot more yelling, a lot more physical fighting, it’s what you’re known for. It’s not like you to just sit and get a small attitude. You and I both know that.” It was his turn to respond now, and boy did he have a few things to say, but just like always their conversation got interrupted. “Room service.” They heard with a knock at the door. Mitch got up from his seat, reaching for his gun as he got ready for he knew neither of them had ordered anything. “Go to the bathroom, stay there until I come for you.” He told her, which she complied very easily as he made his way to the door, the knock coming again.
He stayed close to the wall as he eased his hand to the handle, opening the door as a team of men came in. There were three of them, dressed in casual clothes, he couldn’t help but wonder how long they had been scoping the place. The thought only angered him even more. For his luck only one of them turned around after first entering the room, giving him enough time to deliver one shot to the back of the left guy’s head. He lunged for the gun, wrapping his arm around the males who turned around. The last guy turned, gun ready, the guy Mitch had wrapped himself was speaking another language, but he understood. “Shoot him.” The guy commanded, Mitch didn’t take any chances. He knew that the man he held would rather die and have Mitch killed then living and not completing the mission. If that was the case, he’d get death anyway. He shot quick and twice, two shots to the head.
He made sure to disarm the male that was left, he was planning on getting some answers before allowing this guy to meet his fate. In a matter of minutes Mitch had the man strapped to the chair provided in the hotel room. “You’ve got one chance, tell me what you want.” Mitch said as he paced around the man in the chair, gun in hand and ready. He stopped at the back of him, pressing the gun firmly to the back of his head. “One chance.” He repeated. “We want the girl.” The accent was thick, Russian, but his words cause Mitch to grip the chair. “What do you want with her?” Mitch questioned the man through gritted teeth. This was enough to get his blood boiling, enough for him to nearly see white. However, the man just started laughing low and menacing, it made Mitch’s skin crawl. With a frim squeeze of the trigger, he heard a gasp in the corner.
Mitch nearly forgot that (Y/N) was in the room, the look on her face would be forever burned into the back of his mind. He dropped the gun, quick to wrap his arm around her as he pulled her close, shielding her from something she had already seen. “Don’t look.” He whispered, he could feel his shirt begin to dampen and he started to wonder if he could really keep her and his job separately the way Stan wanted him to. “We’ve got to go.” He took her hand, locking their fingers together as he swiftly grabbed their things. She tried her hardest not to look, and he tried his hardest not to let her. They were out of the hotel within seconds, Mitch moving fast as she tried her best to keep up. He made his way to a car, taking a black stick out of his bag as he checked the corners. He popped the door open quietly, “Get in.” He said as he unlocked the doors, briskly walking his way to the other side.
“Call Stan.” Mitch handed her his phone, reaching under the front of the car tearing off the lever to the compartment that held the wires he need to get to. “Tell him what happened, tell him we’ve been compromised. He’ll tell us where to go.” His voice was muffled as he was learning down, but he could practically feel her shaking as she dialed the number on his phone. Mitch tried not the falter as he sat up, starting the car and taking off to god knows where. “He didn’t answer.” Her voice was soft, broken. It hurt. “I was afraid you were going to say that.” He tried to ignore it. “I’ve got an idea.” (Y/N) sounded reluctant to say so, but he figured anything was worth a shot, especially with Stan M.I.A. His job was to keep her safe, but right now he just wanted to make sure she was okay.
“This is not what I had in mind.” Mitch stood in front of a mirror, his normal attire left in one of the rooms behind him. He looked nice? But not in an effective way. He didn’t look like himself, that was for sure. Out walked (Y/N) and breathing became such an issue suddenly. She was wearing a dress that hugged her in all the right places, he sighed at the sight. “You look – wow.” His eyebrows jumped at the last word and she smiled. He was sure that smile could cure anything. “You look the same, it’s the mop.” She walked closer, her hand reaching up to run her fingers through his hair, pushing it back. “There, now it’s not all mopey.” She was so close, they both knew that. Mitch was so tempted. “My hair is mopey?” His voice was different, playful as he wrapped him hands around her waist, pressing her close. She laughed. It was beautiful. “It’s funny when you say it.” And lips touched each other without thinking.
It was different than before, the hunger and fire was still there but the pace was slower, lips hardly parting as he didn’t want this moment to break. Flash backs hit him of his past, how happy he used to be, how less obsessed. He used to be normal, the guy who lived down the street who had a smile on his face and went for three-minute morning runs. Being with this girl in front of him made him feel that again, made him feel like he was normal. Just a guy shopping with his girlfriend.
She made a noise, one of those sweet ones that was close to a moan but leaning more towards a hum. Something so simple could drive him up the wall. The way her hands slid up the front of his pressed shirt, they were so small and his mind imaged them in other places. She was toxic to him, but he didn’t want to fight it anymore. Letting his hands slide down her body, he gave a firm slap to her ass, causing her to jump as she hit his chest lightly, you both laughing at the aftermath.
It was the cough in the background that caused them to pull apart, an arm-crossed elderly woman standing in the open doorway. “These rooms are for trying on.” Her English accent was high pitched, like what you’d expect from a bad actress in a movie. “We’re sorry, we will take these. Thank you very much.” (Y/N) spoke politely to the lady as she handed her a card to pay for everything. Mitch recognized the card as Stan’s, it was his turn to cross his arms now. She sighed, “Stan gave it to me before we came over to the room this morning.” The fact she didn’t have to turn around caused him to smile.
Taking her hand, they left their old identities behind as they blended in with the atmosphere around them. Complete with sunglasses for the both, as through the rain the sun never seemed to stop in London. “What are we going to do now?” She asked, and he pulled her close. “We’ll figure it out.”
#dylan o'brien#dylan o'brien imagine#mitch rapp#mitch rapp imagine#stiles stilinski#dylanowhy#Figure It Out
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