#and I’m thankful for the music because I’d be painfully understimulated without it but I cannot fucking hear what people say to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 2 years

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Coworker: “Wow! You’re so brave for running the mic like that!”

[laughs nervously] They don’t know I was raised in a cult and allowed to give comments I couldn’t possibly understand at age four. They don’t know I gave my first ministry school talk at age seven. They don’t know I was forced to knock on doors and talk to strangers. They don’t know I had to do phone witnessing to uphold my appearance of godliness so I would be deemed “responsible enough” to start driving and even have this job in the first place. I am completely desensitized to mic-fright.

#exjw #there is exactly one other person who willingly runs the mic; but she isn’t there all the time when I’m there #so 75% of the time it’s me and my big mouth echoing through the store #and I swear to god all I can think of is the “Attention Bajoran Workers “ thing #or “Attention! Your Attention Please! News flash from this moment arrives from the Malabar front “#plusgood doubleplusgood #idk my voice makes me sound like I’m not all there #because I’m not #I am spaced out most of the time when I’m working and I have no idea what anyone says to me #either due to lack of clarity on their part or because the memory of what they said just jumps out of my mind and runs away like a rabbit #and then I have to figure out what they wanted me to do by dissecting the hraka said rabbit left behind #and I’m thankful for the music because I’d be painfully understimulated without it but I cannot fucking hear what people say to me #because music makes my brain vibrate and I’m too busy analyzing the structure to analyze instructions #I’m sure they must think I’m a little weird and maybe dense too

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