#and I was telling her that it happened cuz I have this ‘burden meter’ in my head like
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Ouch ouch owie :(
#the end of volume 2 is still making me sad :(#no spoilers don’t worry!!#but I had such a hard time sleeping last night#I just felt so so so upset#and I woke up so :(#plus I was telling one of my sisters in law yesterday about my bad dream#and I was telling her that it happened cuz I have this ‘burden meter’ in my head like#every time I do something wrong it’s filling up that burden meter until that person decides they’re done with me#and my other sister in law was like ‘you don’t need to worry about that! the things you ask for are normal and your mistakes are human’#and the other was like ‘well actually… you might want to be careful about becoming a burden’#and it was like 😶#mostly cuz. I just wanted reassurance like. because I always feel like I’m a burden on everyone#and I know she meant well and her thought was that she would tell me her family’s experience with that so that I could be careful#but all it did was make my anxiety shoot through the roof#and now I’m trying to fight off my brain’s desire to lock myself back up in my head so I don’t do or say anything wrong again#like it’s not her fault; she couldn’t have known and she meant well#but I just feel awful now :(#I just feel scared of that burden meter again#ah anyways I’ll feel better after some food and iced coffee but#right now I’m just :(((((#ren speaks#vent tw
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