#and I usually shy away from painkillers because I don’t want to become reliant on them or get so used to them that they don’t work right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-little-crow · 8 months

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Love that my body is fucking falling apart constantly, yet I still have to get up and go to work and do shit. I’ve been having this really shitty pain in my sternum the last few days, and it’s WAY worse today. Plus I can’t catch my fucking breath. Like at this point someone needs to take me out back and shoot me. It would be more preferable

#crow rambles #rant but not really #I’m just so fucking tired of being in pain all the time #because I can’t properly explain it to people who don’t deal with this shit 24/7 #and I usually shy away from painkillers because I don’t want to become reliant on them or get so used to them that they don’t work right #plus with a family history of addiction I’m really iffy about anything even remotely in that area #idk it just sucks and I’m angry because a diagnosis takes forever and even then treatment is probably just gonna be MORE meds and I’m tired #I just want a working body #it feels like I’m in a sinking boat and all I have to help me is a roll of duck tape and a mug #and no matter how hard I try to get rid of the water and patch up the holes it just keeps getting worse #and I keep on having less and less energy to deal with it #bonus would be someone on the phone telling you it isn’t that hard and you’re just not putting in enough effort to fix the boat #like I promise you doing the thing that causes me pain isn’t gonna STOP the pain #it’s gonna make it slightly more tolerable at best #or give me a little longer to do the thing before I start hurting #but it won’t just stop it

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