#and I may be sad and I may be exhusted from trying to stay alive
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#waiting for a call from the psychward that specializes in my care needs saying they finally have a bed for me#trying to stay distracted enough that I don't think about it so I went ti a haunt over the state border w/ some old friends#there was a section with a corn maze at the end where a big scare slasher lookin mf chased us through the whole thing#at the end he walked up to me and I thought he was going to rev his chainsaw or like do some scare work#mf handed me his number and told me I scream good#i haven't texted him because I don't want to be like 'heyyyy ur cute lemme smash before I go to the psych ward'#but I Have Been Thinking About It and this all really just reaffirms that I have big final girl energy#i had so much fun#we did a haunted hay ride#i won a gift card for being able to name all the actors who uave played michale myers and which movies they were in#that felt good#and I may be sad and I may be exhusted from trying to stay alive#but this weekend has really reminded me that life is worth fighting for and that I do want to live#i want to be a cool old bitch one day and share my life with someone#life is wonderful hurts and painful joys#and fuck I love that
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