#and I am afeared that this is going to just.. constantly interfere with me even getting of the Ground | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monster-noises · 1 year

Text

I came on here to make a different post initially and I may still make that post in the tags but now the main body of this post is gunna be about how weird it is that of all the things I have come on here to Repeatedly Gripe about like some big sad lump I am regularly embarrassed and ashamed to write posts about me wanting a relationship and the troubles my mind has about it? Like it's not Less personal than me writing about any other issue I am dealing with but somehow it Feels Different and I keep shying away from it and it's really backing things up in the ol' noggin, which isn't Great

#monster noises #anyway #here in the quiet privacy of the Tags I will say #I am worried that I won't be able to initiate or maintain a relationship until I fucking Deal With Some Things #Primarily surrounding complexes I have about the people in my life sharing or not sharing my interests #that make it very difficult for me to draw the line between #'it's okay that I like this and you don't and vice versa'#and 'If we don't agree on this then deals off we won't work'#my whole life has been me Not Quiet fitting in in places I Fit In #so to speak..#and having differing interests even from my closest friends that either get made fun of #though not true nowadays #I have better friends #or simply like.. we can't even enjoy them together casually because they are That radically different #and even probably freak the other person out #and it's really isolating!! for a lot of other reasons involving my social challenges!#and I find myself on Apps and such and in person even too #reflexively writing people off on things that like.. are probably fine #but I don't have a good concept of what Probably Fine actually is??? so like???? ah????#and I am afeared that this is going to just.. constantly interfere with me even getting of the Ground #and I will be stuck single until I can fucking untangle this knot #but like Cool Rad Cool #Who Wants To Pay For My Therapist For That Or Am I Just Fucked Forever Basically #I Feeeeeeel like actually getting to be in a relationship might help me navigate this because I'm flying a Bit blind here #but you can kinda #see the paradox with That idea already #so like Whomp Whomp

13 notes · View notes