grin the gargoyle doing the heron neck thing

artfight drawing for @rowkey

Hello! I am in love with everything you write. You’re so creative and you’re inspiring me to finally sit down and write something again. I love reading fics with flustered Peter and DAMN you deliver. I’m wondering if you could do a drabble with 23? :)

Hello, @sydzygy! Thank you for the prompt! Your message was so wonderful that I wish I could’ve gotten to it sooner! I have been writing this one for a while though… the end kinda kept getting further away until, whaddaya know, it’s over 5000 words. Plenty of flustered Peter AND flustered MJ though!

Thanks to you too, Anon! I saw the “please.” I appreciated the “please.” I made the fic NSFW.

Venus, ParkerPairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle)Rating: E/NSFWWord count: 5602

23. “We bet and you lost, so you have to do it.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t intervene,” Peter hissed to Nedas they climbed the dune. “Some ‘guy in the chair’ you are.”

“I didn’t know he was going to make skinny-dipping thepunishment!” his best friend argued back. “How was I supposed to guess that,Peter?”

“You were supposed to stop it from happening in the firstplace!  You were supposed to make somekind of excuse on my behalf as soon as the words ‘I bet Penis can’t do abackflip’ were out of his mouth! I can’t let people know I’m good at thatstuff! It would totally blow my cover! I had to throw it.”

“If I can make a suggestion,” Ned huffed as they neared thetop, brushing through tall spikes of grass; the navy skyline widened. “Youshould work on not reacting to peer pressure. I didn’t make you take the bait.”

Peter sighed.

“I know, he just bugs me. I’m so sick of being called―”

“PENIS! PEEEEENIS! HURRY UP, YOU FUCKING TURTLE!” Flashyelled from the beach. The beam of his flashlight made looping patterns on theground.

Exchanging a weary look, Peter and Ned crested the dune andtook long, uneven strides down the other side, sand pouring into the sides oftheir shoes.

“Flash, come on, man,” Peter tried as they approached hisnemesis. “This is stupid. It wasn’t a fair challenge. Nobody can do abackflip.”

The other boy was unrelenting, grinning in the moonlight.Ugh. Peter just wanted to go back to the campground where the decathlon teamwas set up and have another s’more. Get into his pajamas. Maybe talk to MJ nowthat Mr. Harrington had hit the hay and quit supervising their every move.

“We bet and you lost,” Flash reminded him mercilessly, “soyou have to do it.”

Peter glanced at the dark lake, slow waves licking the shorein a way that made him want to sleep rather than submerge his naked body intowater that was going to feel a hell of a lot colder now that the sun had gonedown.

“Don’t wimp out, Penis.”

The nickname startled Peter and he gave Flash a sharp look.

“You better not look.”

“Oh please,” Flash said, rolling his eyes. (Peter was alittle bit insulted.) “I only have eyes for one man, and that’s Spider-Man.”

Ned failed to muffle his abrupt chuckle and his best friendglared at him.

“Sorry,” Ned mouthed. Flash’s well-known crush on Spider-Manwas a touchy subject for Peter. Shockingly.

The three of them watched the water for a minute. The soundof it, washing in and out, was really peaceful. What a beautiful night to beutterly played by some jackass. Suddenly, there was the vibrating of a phone.It turned out to be Ned’s.

“Betty’s air mattress keeps deflating,” he informed Peter,eyes on the screen. “She asked if I could come help her.”

“Go ahead,” Peter allowed with a half-hearted smile. “Youdon’t need to stick around for this.”

“You should be thankful I’m such a nice guy and didn’tinsist on an audience,” Flash piped up.

Ned gave Peter a sympathetic look and traipsed back towardsthe dunes and the campground beyond. Flash, completely devoid of sympathy,clicked his flashlight off and on impatiently.

“Let’s goooo,” hecomplained.

Peter groaned.

“Fine, but turn around. I’ll yell once I’m in the water.”

“Sounds fair,” Flash agreed.

Of course it was fair―it was the one part of this horriblemisadventure that Peter’d had a say in. Wearily, he shed his clothes, droppedthem in a heap on the sand, and sprinted for the water. He wasn’t going to callback to Flash until he was submerged up to his neck.

\

MJ didn’t know who was where―as far as she was concerned,being the team’s captain for practices and tournaments didn’t translate intobeing their babysitter for field trips and retreats―just that she was alone.And she liked it that way.

The campfire scene had been pretty mellow until Abe haddecided to experiment with physical equilibrium by balancing their quarteredlogs of firewood, stacking them higher and higher, flames dancing upwards toengulf them. Yeah, that was a little too Lordof the Flies for how MJ wanted her weekend to go, so she’d left thewarnings and chastisement to Betty. (Ned had just shown up to potentially MacGyverher air mattress so the air would quit whistling out every time she laid downon it, leaving his girlfriend free to stop Abe from burning his eyebrows off.)

She’d wound through a thin barrier of trees to escape theglow of the fire and reach the valley of the path leading up between the dunes;now, MJ was scrambling upward, trying to keep her footing while also openingthe new app she’d installed on her phone before they’d left the city. It wassupposed to display the segment of sky currently over her position and map outwhich constellations should be visible to her. As she moved her phone around,the view would apparently shift, offering her information from horizon tohorizon, in any direction. Camp was just too bright and too sheltered to giveher the celestial panorama she craved.

Right when she lifted her gaze from her screen to check outthe vantage from the top of the dune, a blinding light swung across her face.

“Oh my god, this is perfect, here.”

It was Flash’s voice, but MJ could only see pitch black.Asshole had completely wrecked her night vision. What was working was her senseof touch, tested when Flash shoved something against her stomach and shegrasped it instinctively. He was already half-running, half-tripping past her,heading for their team’s campsite while MJ attempted to figure out what she washolding. Soft… lumpy… something that felt like denim?

She stuffed her phone into her pocket (she wouldn’t be ableto see the screen until her eyes adjusted all over again) and staggered generallydownwards, aiming for the soothing sounds of a beach post-nightfall.

After a considerable amount of blinking as she made everyeffort to improve her sight, MJ figured she was halfway across the beach,somewhere between dune and lake. She was sufficiently close to distinguish adark shape in the water. Quickly, she brought the bundle she’d been carrying toarm’s length and realized it was an entire set of clothes. Minus shoes, but MJalmost fell over one of those on her next step. Had Flash murdered someone outhere and tricked her into finding the body? What a shithead.

“MJ?!”

She flushed like she’d been caught. She also jumped a littleand something dropped limply onto her foot.

“Uh…” MJ called back to Peter, recognizing his voice and thepale circle of his face a little ways out in the water. “…hey, Parker. Why do Ihave your underwear?”

Stooping, she snatched up the item that had fallen and wavedit over her head like a flag of surrender. She’d spoken before she was certain,but one of the pieces of clothing was definitely jeans and, out of the cottonythings that remained, well, whatever she was flailing in the air was the onlyone with an elastic band.

She assumed Peter was crouching because the whole team hadbeen swimming earlier in the day and found the drop-off was a good 100 yardsout, but he confirmed it. With a sudden splash, he started to rise out of thewater and head in her direction. He sunk back down just as abruptly and MJsmiled to herself at his embarrassed laugh, lowering her arm. Excellent, she realizedshe could see now―maybe not far enough to view Peter in detail but, obviouslyshe wouldn’t want that. Why would she want that? She wouldn’t.

“I’m not sure,” he called to her, “but I could guess. I thought I left my clothes on the beach.Between that and you having them, well, that’s gotta be Flash.”

“That clears everything up,” she replied wryly, tossing hisclothes down with a plop and walking to the water’s edge. Amusingly, Petershrunk back a bit. “Let me recite that timeline back to you. First, you’re downhere with Flash. Second, you strip naked. Third, Flash blinds me and gives meyour clothes. You’re pretty smart, Peter. I think you’ll agree that storyleaves a few highly suspicious gaps.”

He groans loudly and MJ grins.

“Flash tricked me into trying to do a backflip, I lost a betwhen I couldn’t, and he has zerosense of human decency.”

“But you can do a backflip.” She was puzzled.

“What?”

“I’ve seen you do a backflip.”

“You have? When?”

Woops. The perils of being very observant. It wasn’t likeshe’d spied on Peter, she’d just forgotten something after decathlon practice afew weeks ago, gone back, and seen him flip off the stage in the auditorium. MJdidn’t know his gymnastic talents were a secret, exactly, she just hadn’tmentioned them to anyone because initiating conversations still wasn’t secondnature. If these abilities were asecret, she wasn’t protecting him on purpose. Definitely not.

“Uh, don’t remember,” she said, airily blowing him off. Shefrowned. “Aren’t you cold out there?”

She saw him shrug.

“It’s actually not that bad. I had my head under for aminute, which is probably when Flash booked it out of here with my clothes.” MJsnickered and didn’t reply. “Ok,” Peter said after a few seconds, “well, I’llsee you back at camp.”

She stiffened.

“I’m not your personal courier.”

“…What do you mean?”

“I mean I didn’t come down here to deliver your clothes,loser. I’m not leaving yet.”

“But I’m naked!” he yelped.

MJ’s body was just trying to keep her warm without theexternal help of the campfire. That was all this sudden surge of heat was.

“You know, I did actually comprehend that when I had yourboxers in my hand.” She glanced sideways where she’d set his clothes. “You maywant to shake them out before you put them back on, by the way, unless youenjoy sand in delicate places.”

She could practically hear Peter’s weary exhale, butsomething in MJ insisted that she not vacate the beach just because he told herto. This wasn’t his private property and he had no authority over her. Shewasn’t his to… to… Heat flooded her again, face to feet. Yes, this wasdefinitely just her irritation at being bossed around by Backflip Boy.

“When are youleaving?” he tried.

“When I’m done.”

His words sounded like resignation to her, so MJ began torelax again, the way she’d felt when she’d strolled out of camp on her own. That was weird. This calm was something she usually (always) experienced whentotally alone. But Peter was here. Peter was here and he was lazily swimmingcloser, toes probably creeping along the sandy floor of the shallows.

“So… why’d you come out here?”

MJ started to explain, then paused to fish the phone thatwas her alibi out of the pocket of her jean shorts.

“Trying to see the stars better. There’s too much light atcamp.”

“Oh yeah? Cool!” He propelled himself forward some more. Atonce, she was panicky, heart beating too fast. She concentrated on her phone,the screen mostly dark but for the points of light representing stars.

“I said ‘stars’ not ‘Star Wars,’ before you get tooexcited,” MJ warned sarcastically, not looking up.

“My interest in space goes beyond the fictional.”

She raised her head, readying a snarky reply that never came.Peter had his shoulders above the water now, arms out to the sides for balance.As she stared, he tipped his head back, rewetting his hair, then brought it upagain. Her fingers went slack around her phone and she had to catch it with herother hand.

“What were you trying to see specifically?” he asked, wipingwater away from his eyes as it ran down from his hair.

It was a struggle to compose herself, but she did it.

“Well, I sure wasn’t looking for Uranus.”

Peter huffed and stroked with his arms, sending himbackwards several feet. MJ was laughing.

“Peter, don’t. It was a joke. I can’t see anything.”

It took a long, careful stare before he drifted neareragain.

“I know,” he eventually conceded. “I know you can’t seeanything. The dark, the distance, the distortion of the water…” She wanted tocough the word ‘nerd,’ but she restrained herself. “But I’m vulnerable here,”Peter went on, gesturing at himself with both hands. “I can’t leave.”

“Do you want to?” MJ asked without thinking it over.

Peter met her eye.

“Do you?”

She swallowed and cocked her head stiffly, jerky with afluttering anxiousness. It wasn’t a dare, it wasn’t a bet (yeah, Peter’dprobably had enough of those for one night), and yet there was something aboutthe way he’d said it―those two words.

Maintaining eye contact, MJ sat in the sand. This was herstaying. She shuffled her feet out of her flip-flops and flicked them off tothe side, then stretched her legs straight out until her heels were in the lake.Peter was also in the lake. Everything was fine. She inhaled with precision.

Oh fuck, she could see his bare chest.

Abruptly, MJ lost ground on the confident who cares that you’re nude below thewaterline? thing, wimping out and turning her gaze decidedly downwards toher phone screen. She read the words ‘Ursa Minor’ a dozen times, but kept her back stiff like she was concentrating very hard, focusing on something desperately important.

It wasn’t sustainable, this tense effort to ignore Peter.She couldn’t do it at school when he was a dork in the marching band and shesure as hell couldn’t do it when he was bare-ass naked in a lake. Being underthe broad, dark sky was suddenly claustrophobic. MJ couldn’t breathe. Her facewas overly warm. She was going to be asphyxiated by her attraction to Peter.YES! FINE! She was attracted to him!

“Ursa Minor,” MJ mumbled to herself in the fanatical tone ofa madwoman. She was Mrs. Rochester on a beach. Now there was a woman who would’ve been entertained by aconstellation-identifying app, stuck up in the attic all that time. God, MJ wasspiralling. Brontё was her crazy place.

“I know some stuff,” Peter said from the water.

She braced herself for the sight and, yep, there was his wetskin, just glistening away in the moonlight. How dare he.

“I could show you,” he said.

MJ’s mind totally fuzzed on what Peter might be wanting toshow her. Lake Peter. After-dark Peter. Wet Peter. Her heart was bursting likea bagful of popcorn kernels, one eruption after the next.

“Constellations,” he explained, as though she hadn’tresponded because he hadn’t been clear, rather than because she’d gottensidetracked wondering about his sexual savoir-faire.

“How are you going to show me? I won’t be able to tell whatyou’re pointing at.”

“I could come out… but I’d wanna dry off before putting myclothes back on.”

“Yeah, no,” she said immediately. “There’s a time limit onhow long I can respectfully avert my eyes before I get bored standing there anddecide to walk back to camp.”

“You could come in,” Peter replied quietly.

“In… the water.” MJ shivered involuntarily.

“It’s not that cold, right?”

He pointed at where her feet were partially submerged. Shewanted to laugh if the water temperature was the reason he thought she’dshivered. Was Peter just going to pretend that the biggest issue with hissuggestion was the possibility of her getting chilly?

“So you’ll be a gentleman while I get undressed?”

Instantly, he flushed and gestured before his words couldcatch up. Only he didn’t say what MJ expected him to.

“That’s not very fair.”

She gave him a stern look.

“Why not? Sure, I’ve been sitting here with your clothes,but I didn’t watch you remove them. I didn’t stare at your naked body! Not mostof it,” she added under her breath, seeing as she’d been eyeing him in thewater all this time.

Peter glanced down quickly, grinning like he’d heard whatshe’d said.

“I’ll turn around,” he promised, glancing up withsuspiciously trustworthy eyes.

“No.”

“No?” he choked out.

“Just… cover your eyes,” she requested, getting to her feet.“Then I’ll be able to watch you and know you aren’t somehow ogling myreflection.”

“What if I peeked through my fingers?”

MJ laughed because she knew Peter Parker would do no suchthing.

“Then your guilty expression would betray you the second youdropped your hands.”

He chuckled to himself.

“Yeah, good point.”

“So… cover ‘em, Peter.”

She saw his mouth fall open slightly.

“We’re actually…”

“We’re actually,” MJ confirmed, grabbing the hem of hert-shirt. His eyes grew wider. “Chill. We’re just two nerds talking about astronomy.It’s not a big deal.”

She began to draw her shirt up her stomach slowly, givinghim plenty of warning, and he slapped his hands over his eyes, splashinghimself with lake water. Pausing for nerves, MJ saw Peter shift to regain hisbalance after lifting his arms. The disturbance swished his wet cover to andfro and when it settled, she could see more of his chest. Plus all of hisarms―raised as they were. Face hot, she wondered how long it would take to heata beach by starlight, if they could put a hold on the sun. Because the nightwouldn’t last forever, MJ quickly yanked off her shirt and chucked it on top ofPeter’s clothes.

Her gaze slid intently from the heap to the boy in thewater. He was diligently blocking her out, palms flat over his eyes and fingersstretched up his forehead into the front of his hair. Although she couldn’ttell right now, MJ knew it would curl aggressively as it dried, like it hadthis afternoon after everyone went for a dip together. She thought about it,thought about him, and stared straight at him too as she unbuttoned her shortsand shimmied her legs to shake them down to the sand.

Peter’s chest rose and fell as she watched, reacting tosomething. Must’ve been a ripple in the water, she figured. Something shecouldn’t see from here.

“You haven’t asked,” MJ noted, unclipping her bra. Pile.

“W-what should I ask?”

“If you can look yet. And I didn’t say you should.”

There was a pause, thick like wet sand.

“You’re surprised I’m not more impatient? Do you want me tobe?”

She’d need sunscreen to protect the rest of her exposed skinfrom the way her face seemed to be glowing, ready to sear. How he’d flipped herremark around on her… MJ hadn’t expected it. Another question he’d put to herbluntly that sounded so innocent. But it wasn’t, not really. This wasn’t themsussing out who wanted the last hamburger and was too afraid to be rude. Thiswas a more complicated politick of desire and it couldn’t all be questions andevasions; eventually, there would need to be blunt answers for Peter’s bluntquestions.

“Just an observation,” MJ muttered.

She removed her underwear carefully, keeping them away fromthe sand by lifting her feet high and maneuvering the leg holes swiftly anddexterously around her heels to preclude transfer. All she left on was theelastic in her hair.

“I’m… I’m coming into the water now.”

“I can hear you.”

Maybe her racing heart was drowning out the noise of herfeet, because all MJ heard were tinkling slaps, then gentle swooshing as thelake greeted her ankles, her shins, the tender backs of her knees. Peterrotated towards her as she got closer, she noticed, still covering his eyes.Wading past him, MJ flicked water at his head―a couple feet away when her armwas stretched all the way out to the side. They both laughed. She didn’t stopmoving through the water until it came up just above her breasts when she wasstanding, wetting more of her skin as she sunk down.

Despite attempting to ease the tension (she felt it, he mustbe feeling it), MJ’s heart was still banging hard enough that she expected tosee ripples racing away from her on the surface of the water. She glanced backat the beach, then at Peter. The air was still and the rest of the world seemedpeacefully distant, if not empty. She hopped from foot to foot on the sandylakebed, swaying pleasantly in a way that belied how uncontrolled she felt onthe inside, not just because of the weak current her motions were creating.

Peter dropped his hands and looked at her. MJ drew her armsinstinctively inward, treading water in front of her chest.

“I thought you would wait until I said you could open youreyes,” she told him, not actually upset.

“I figured you’d be… uh… covered by now.” He gestured at hershoulders, peeking above the surface like the curved backs of baby geese.“You’re tall, but you’re not thattall.”

“You figured oryou knew? Am I supposed to believe that you hadn’t already calculated the depthof the water compared to my height, and considered the distance from the beach?The length of my stride, maybe?”

“I just didn’t want to show off.” Peter shrugged, grinning alittle. “Make you feel vulnerable.”

“Oh, you mean like I did to you,” MJ joked.

Incredible. All it took for them to have a non-abusiveconversation was less light and fewer clothes. (No clothes.) There weren’t awealth of ways to replicate these conditions once they got home. There was oneway―one very specific way―but she hadto remember her own excuse for their behaviour: they were just two nerds with ashared interest in astronomy. Every step they’d taken since she’d descended tothe beach was motivated purely by logic.

Yeah, better not consider that intentional state of denialtoo closely.

“Let’s start easy,” Peter suggested.

He flowed towards her―smoother than walking on land, thoughhe did that with a weird gracefulness too―and MJ’s heart flipped end over end.She looked at his face too long after he’d extended his arm, pointing above them.

“The Little Dipper.”

“Ursa Minor,” she corrected. “Yeah, I’ve pretty much gotthat one down.”

Peter appeared blue in this light. Blue and soft anddreamlike, like he was going to take her hand and fly her to Mermaid Lagoon.Wait, wrong Peter.

“Well… hmm.”

His concentration shifted upward, high above the both ofthem. MJ’s remained fixed on his face and the way the moon and the lake ruledits bright places and its shadows; noticing him across a classroom or from theother end of the lunch table wasn’t the same as performing a close study of hisprofile from less than three feet away. The definition of his jaw was asurprise, with his head tilted back. It trapped a shadow beneath it, like aledge. As MJ dragged her eyes slowly down, she tried to discern the exact spotat which that darkness dissolved into the light bouncing up off the water,making his throat pale and vampiric. Or maybe she was the vampire. She certainlywanted to bite down on his skin with her teeth.

MJ yanked the elastic from her hair and shook her head,trying to clear it. Unfortunately, it was as ineffective as shaking a snowglobe and expecting to see through it more easily. She was hazy with Peter, whowas pointing to Venus, checking to make sure MJ was staring at the correctdazzling speck.

“That one?” she asked, squinting although the light sourcewas minute and far, far away. (God,she thought, don’t say that out loud. Notafter you told Peter this wasn’t about Star Wars.)

Peter angled his head in her direction, eyes still on thesky.

“No, the bright one.” Absently, it looked like, he glancedfrom her to Venus, attempting to establish a guiding line he could point along.“Down a little… I think.”

“You think?”

Honestly, MJ wasn’t putting too much effort into findinganything. Her priorities had changed. There were so many fewer opportunities tobe alone with Peter than there were stars visible from the state of New York.

“Just…”

Peter sighed and suddenly his hands came around from behindher, holding underneath her jaw like he was lifting a heavy chalice with bothhands. Like the Holy Grail or something. His thumbs pressed to its hinge, hisindex fingers resting against her cheeks. He directed her manually, helping herfind Venus. MJ was going to burn him. Her face was too hot.

“Do you see? Oh.”

He must’ve snapped out of his science-daze and realized howhe was touching her. How they never touched. They might’ve shaken hands once.(It was three times―she remembered.) Peter’s fingers sprang away from her skin,jack-in-the-box quick, but MJ grabbed his hands.

“I see,” she said, turning weightlessly in the water. Thewet ends of her hair stroked her back.

She let go of one of Peter’s hands and, miraculously, itlanded on the back of her neck. The pads of his fingers were pruney. The otherhand MJ kept, her arm crossing her body to maintain contact.

“It is a bigdeal,” he told her. She vaguely recalled stating the opposite, lying. “It is.”

Cautious, MJ leaned her upper body closer, led by her lips.Her gaze went from Peter’s mouth to his eyes, mouth to eyes, up and down, likeflipping a light switch on and off repeatedly. When her lips actually met his,it was strange. She was too aware of them, the texture. Then, MJ was aware ofherself, trembling. They broke the kiss.

Peter held her face again with both hands and she saw thathis expression was calm, the way that his eyelashes flapped lightly with hiseyelids half-lowered, brown eyes warm and deep, staring at her mouth. Beforeshe could take a breath or think anything through, she kissed him again,quickly.

Heat burned through her, a match dropped in a trail ofgasoline. MJ inhaled hard through her nose and pressed her mouth firmly toPeter’s as he slid his hand to the back of her neck; his thumb dug in next toher spine and it felt really good, like a massage.

Tentatively, their tongues touched and retreated. Then,Peter surged forward like he knew what he was doing and, hell, she wasconvinced, finding his shoulders and grabbing on. Having someone’s tongue inher mouth was decidedly more thrilling in practice than in theory. MJ felt herhead tilting more to the side, rocking forward and back, as her lips moved withPeter’s.

While the sand dipped and swished under her curling toes,his desire was her solid ground.

The second time they paused to breathe, MJ noticed she’dwrapped her arm over Peter’s shoulder, and that his hand had caressed downwardfrom her neck to her upper back.

“You wanna get out?” he panted. In the moonlight, she wascaught up in counting the freckles on his nose; they’d darkened and multipliedsince the decathlon team had arrived at the campground.

She could tell he was trying to figure out what the rightthing was, so that he could do it. Typical Peter.

“No.”

He raised hopeful eyebrows and MJ felt shy. Not because theywere slowly circling, hands on each other in perfectly appropriate places(though on each other’s naked bodies nonetheless), but because she was admitting,out loud, in one syllable, that she wanted him.

“I was right, wasn’t I?” Peter checked, head inclinedtowards hers. “Water’s not too cold.”

“You better not be peeing, Parker,” MJ threatened.

When he laughed in surprise, she threw her other arm behindhis neck and pulled herself close to him with a smirk on her mouth.

The kiss was softer than she’d intended. That was becauseher legs had rubbed against his underwater. It wasn’t just their knees bumping,which had been likely enough as they’d moved closer since they were bothcrouching slightly; the outer part of MJ’s thigh brushed along the inside ofPeter’s. The side of her slim calf encountered the solid curve of muscle inhis. It woke things in her, like the first spark catching on a crumpled pieceof newspaper when Mr. Harrington finally got the campfire going after insistinghe didn’t need a lighter (and being shocked and disappointed when Flash hadreadily produced one and offered it up to hurry the process).

MJ could tell Peter felt it too―not just her leg, the awakening. Which was really asuper clichéd and simplistic way to think about adolescent sexuality, particularly female sexuality, but yeah, it appeared that her relationship withher own passion was coming down to this. A moment with Peter Parker, floating between Venus and a shallow drop-off.

Peter’s hand swept down her back as he released a shakysigh; MJ felt as though she was waking up to find herself shuffling onto hislap, lifting her legs with sleepy slowness to hook them over his. They sanklower into the water together, chins briefly dipped.

“Hey, MJ,” he murmured.

She bit her lip.

“Peter,” she acknowledged.

This kiss was gentle on purpose, exploratory and calm enoughto slide through the surface of their pooled attraction without a ripple. Itdidn’t stir up anything more frantic, as her lips compressed steadily to his.Peter’s hand was secure on the small of her back, her arms loosely around hisshoulders. Their warm exhalations left the mildest currents in the air betweenthem.

He began to play absently with her hair, collecting it witha hand that skimmed behind her shoulders, then closed in a circle like a slackelastic. MJ smiled against his mouth and felt the little dimples of muscle inhis back when he moved his arm. Their tongues met again, but it was easy and incontrol. She thought about bobbing there all night with him and creeping totheir tents when the sky turned a thin, pale grey.

Then Peter had to go and shift his hand, allowing cool waterto touch the spot his palm had warmed on her lower back. Making her shiver.

MJ hadn’t known that about him, that such a tiny reactionwould cause him to respond like it’d been a seismic tremor, like she’d shakenthe ground beneath his feet, but when she moved, he moved. His mouth surgedagainst hers and he gathered her so close that her stomach was pressed upagainst his erection―her stomach and lower, legs splayed on his lap.

It was as sudden as an undertow and, fittingly, she didn’tknow which way was up. This, this had been lurking all that time she’d spentwatching Peter, this had been waiting for her while she was waiting for him. MJclung to it now (and to him) and couldn’t believe she’d spared him even onesecond to point at the sky. He wanted to show her Venus? Too late. She’d foundit for herself and, yeah, maybe it was more a Venus of the Greek goddessvariety, but Peter didn’t seem to be having any issue with that.

There was a wetness between them that wasn’t just the lake.Though the water worked against it, Peter and MJ―foreheads bumping lightly asthey closed their eyes and breathed hard―kept replenishing it, bodies grindingtogether out of sight below the dark, glassy surface. Her calves were tense asshe hung on to him.

All the external rubbing made MJ’s insides feel electric;maybe she was lighting up like a jellyfish, sonic blue. It certainly seemed toshock him when she drew in a demanding, shuddering breath and climaxed, handsclenching to fists behind his back, nails catching his skin.

“Oh my god,” he said, and she opened her eyes to thepleading scrunch of his forehead. A pair of eyes like lucky pennies in afountain. “Is it ok if I…?”

MJ smiled in satiated amusement and rocked her hips. Themotion urged an oversensitive wiggle out of her, until Peter’s hands held herfast, hugging her body to his. As his hips bucked, she instinctively nuzzledthe side of her face into his and scooped up a handful of water. He groaned hername and she felt immortal.

Lifting her hand, she slowly tipped the water out onto theback of Peter’s head. It rewet his hair and trickled along the back of hisneck. MJ parted her arms to give it a path between his shoulder blades and inthe meantime, Peter came. When his chin tucked over her shoulder, something hither hard in the heart. She hugged him back fiercely.

And they floated.

In the end, MJ got out first while Peter sat with his backto her in the shallow water, arms on his bent knees. She threw on her clotheswith her skin still wet (camp and the chance for a hot shower followed by dry pajamaswere close), then he did the same while she faced their lake.

Their hands had never touched each other anywhere beyondthose appropriate places, but their fingers linked as they climbed the dunesand they shared a shy, silent look over that little intimacy.

LOVER RANKINGS

Alright, y’all may or may not know, I’m a Taylor Swift fan. Chad Willard posted his Rankings and Reasons for her newest album, Lover, and it inspired me to do the same. So, for the two of you who care about my personal Taylor opinions: here they are.

I haven’t sat with Lover long enough yet to really figure out where I am with it. Speak Now is my peak Taylor Swift album. I love the honesty and vulnerability on all those songs. My emotions oftentimes seem overwhelming, irrational, and illogical, and I feel like a crazy person because I tell myself, “Johnathan, you shouldn’t feel this way, so and so hasn’t done anything wrong, if anybody knew you were THIS upset about THIS situation, they’d all laugh and tell you to relax and calm down and that you were acting crazy.” And oh buddy, if I weren’t acting crazy before, best believe I’d act crazy after.

Speak Now makes me feel like it’s OK to be overwhelmed by my feelings, and Taylor does such a great job of saying exactly how I feel.

So I say all that to say, I’ll probably compare every Taylor album to Speak Now. Does Lover make me feel the same way Speak Now does? Yes and no.

I like Lover a lot. To be fair, I have listened more to the first half than the last, only because by the time I get to  “Death By a Thousand Cuts” I want to go back and listen to “I Forgot that You Existed” again. I’m going to agree with what Chad said that Hannah said: “our enjoyment of her songs oftentimes stems from where our current relationship status is.” I’m so happy that Taylor is in such a healthy, great place emotionally, and that she’s so deeply in love – and the songs she’s made are SO GOOD; but I think I’m having a difficult time enjoying them the way I would if I were in a solid, committed, tried and true relationship. I listen to “I think he knows” and “Paper Rings” and “Lover” and instead of being all glowy and glittery I just feel – sad, I guess. Which maybe explains why I like Speak Now so much, because a lot of those are sad and Overwhelmingly Emotional.

Anyway, TO THE RANKINGS!

18: False God. I just think it’s sonically boring. It’s not fun to sing along to, and the lyrics don’t do enough for me to raise it any higher. I’m gonna give it a little bit longer, maybe it’ll eventually grow on me, but it’s dangerously close to becoming a skip.

17: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince. I’m going to get dragged for this, but it’s got the same chord progression as “So it Goes” from REPUTATION, and tbh, that one is a skip for me too. Maybe I’m not deep enough or politically educated enough to see all the brilliance behind it, but I’ll give it points for the line “It’s you and me, that’s my whole world,” though.

16: It’s Nice To Have a Friend: Meh. This just seems like a list of unrelated things she’s done with Joe. Again, maybe I’m not deep enough to understand the brilliance, but what is she trying to say? And the song is so repetitive, it doesn’t keep my interest. All this snow, ya know?

15: The Man. It’s a fun song, good beats, fun to sing along to. But as a white male, the content is unrelatable to me. Which is the point, I suppose. The song isn’t meant for me. I appreciate it, for sure, and I think it’s important, but I just don’t feel the way she feels, so it’s just strange to sing along to it. I don’t wonder if I’d get there faster if I was a man, because I am a man.

14: Soon You’ll Get Better. OK, I LOVE this song, to be clear. It’s so sad, so relatable, so pretty to listen to. Hello Dixie Chicks, glad to have you back. I cried the first time I heard it, because I’ve followed along with her mom’s struggle with cancer, and I’ve two really close friends who have lost parents recently to sickness, and the thought of them feeling this way just breaks my heart. The only reason it’s so low on my list is because I like the other songs so much. Here’s where it starts to get difficult for me.

13: London Boy. This one is a lot of fun, it’s fun to sing along to, and I like the fast rappy bridge. Gotta work on getting those lyrics down. I also like the small details about the steps that we all take in relationships, specifically meeting all of his best mates and listening to his stories from uni.

12: ME!. Brendon Urie come through with those vocals. I think I’m a little biased towards this one, just because of the video, and the excitement that always surrounds a new Taylor era. It was the first thing we saw post REPUTATION era, snakes into butterflies, all the bright colors in the video, the peppy catchy chorus. I also strongly relate to “I know that I’m a handful baby…but I promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me.”

11: Daylight. Highly relatable content here. I always say Taylor knows exactly where I am and what I’m going through. Speak Now, I was living in New York, struggling in every aspect, and spent a lot of that era feeling pretty lonely and crazy, broken, losing friends and missing them but not knowing how to say any of that to them. Red was a carry-over. 1989 I had moved to Orlando, was living in the Wolf Den with a bunch of doods that I loved, everything felt neon and electric and exciting. Reputation I had been kicked out of my house and betrayed and felt very snake like, unforgiving, and hard-hearted. And February of this year, I moved into a house I had found, picked amazing people to move in with, and felt in control of my life again. And if you happen to follow Taylor culture, that’s the same month she posted the picture with the seven palm trees to her instagam, which kicked off the whole Lover era. I say all that to say, it was time for me to step into the daylight and let it all go. To be defined by the things that I love, not the things I hate, or haunt me in the middle of the night. I only want to see daylight and think of that that special person, you know?

10: Afterglow. Hello Speak Now. It’s all me, in my head. I’m the one that burned us down, but it’s not what I meant. I don’t want to do this to you, and I don’t want to lose this with you. It’s the perfect example, IMHO, of unconditional love. Here’s all my crazy. Here’s all my insecurities. They’re going to rear their ugly head, will you please love me even with those? Here’s what I need from you in those moments of temporary emotional insanity: Tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when I lose my mind. Tell me that I'm all you want even when I break your heart. And when you do that, I’ll say “I’m sorry that I hurt you.” What a beautiful picture of loving and being loved in return.

9: You Need To Calm Down. I dunno how closely y’all follow my antics on Facebook, but when this video dropped, I casually posted it because I liked the message. As a believer in Christ, I feel the Christian community has done a HORRIFIC job of loving the LBGTQ community, and my simple post BLEW UP, proving my point. Sidebar, I also link the first listen of this song to being in Toy Story Land with Topher, Jessica, and Leslie, huddling around my phone under the giant Christmas lights for our second dive into New Taylor.

8: Paper Rings. Ok now it’s starting to get super hard narrowing it down. We’ve entered my True Jams™ section. The only reason this is at the bottom of my True Jams™ section is because I ain’t in love like this, so where I want to feel like glitter is exploding inside of me, I just feel like dried glue the glitter was meant to stick to. I love how deeply personal it is, I love the specificity, and the song is a BOP. Standout lyrics: “I’m with you even if it makes me blue,” and “I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays…”

7: I Think He Knows. A Bop. Fun. Sexy. Coy and flirtatious, while also owning her power. The rappy bits. I’ve never felt a longing for somebody’s body just by the way they hold a cold glass, but boy, does this song make me want to. What specifics, what detail. Also – “I want you, bless my soul.” HONESTLY. BLESS IT LORD.

6: The Archer. Giving me those Speak Now vibes. All my heroes die alone – I jumped from the train, I ride off alone. The LONGING. The wanting to be wanted. Knowing you’re good enough, knowing you have a lot to offer – but also knowing that it’s so much that maybe nobody can handle it all. I’ve got so much to offer, who could ever leave me? I’m too much to handle – god, who could put up with all of it?

5: Cornelia Street. My God can I relate to this. I’m ALWAYS looking for the ending, for someone I love to tell me they’re leaving because being with me is too much. I always prepare for the worst case scenario. And only recently have I started to believe that maybe the worst case won’t always happen? Maybe somebody will stay? But man, my natural impulse, my knee-jerk reaction, will always be to get as far away from any and all memories of the good times. I don’t want to be reminded of the beauty and joy and greatness because it will just keep reminding me that I don’t have it anymore, and there’s nothing I could do to get it back.

4: Death by a Thousand Cuts. Ahhh, yesss, Taylor. Speak to me of being left and of the heartbreak that brings. Also, make it a bop. I constantly find myself looking through the boarded up windows of past relationships, and I see the chandelier still flickering and see all the beautiful moments, though they may have lost the radiance they once had. Saying goodbye is the worst, endings are the worst, new beginnings mean something else ended stale. Also being given up like I was a bad drug – reminds me of a line from “Better Man”: “You pushed my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun.” Pure Taylor and I’m here for it.

3: I Forgot that You Existed. On repeat. Will dance and sing to this endlessly. Also always here for a good snarky twist of the kinfe.

2: Lover. Again, the longing. The vulnerability. Asking the questions that are scary to ask, that people would think you are insane for asking someone. Loving somebody so much that you put everything else aside, and all you want is to ask, “Can I go where you go?” Clingy. Needy. Co-dependent. As brave as it would be to ask a question like that, the fear of being seen as any of these things will keep most from doing it. Which probably hinders more than it helps, because if somebody loves us, truly loves us, we should be able to ask that without any fear of anyone or anything. But I’ll sing it and pretend.

1: Cruel Summer. SO. SINGABLE. I love the chorus. It gets stuck in my head. I love the lyrics. The frailty. A relationship that started as friends with benefits, her saying “it’s cool, no rules,” when secretly she’s falling in love and fears saying it, because she thinks it’d be the worst thing he’s ever heard. Yeah, OK, please stop reading my diary, girl. But the best part is, IMHO, he feels the same way about her, and also has feared speaking up, which is why he’s grinning like a devil, because he’s so happy because he feels the same way. 10/10 cant’ stop listening.

 And there you have it, folks. Time may change my rankings, relationships may change my rankings, but from where I sit, 10 days in, these are my thoughts. If you made it this far, I’d love to know what you think of the album, and your rankings!!! As if I’ll ever pass up a chance to talk about/listen to someone talking about Taylor Swift. Sound off!

My recent experience with depression, anxiety, and ADHD

I figured I would make a post about this, because I know that at least a few of my mutuals are dealing with some or all of these things themselves and might find this helpful.  Who knows?  Very long, very personal, but mostly positive post under the cut.  Like, really, more information than you probably ever wanted to know about me and my problems.  Proceed, if you feel so inclined.

First, a brief history, for context.  Throughout elementary and high school, I consistently scored in the 99th percentile on standardized tests.  Then, I almost flunked out of high school, barely got my diploma, took a year off, and started art school college for an animation English degree.  I was going to write novels.  After a year or two of that, I decided I could write without a degree, so I dropped out.  What followed was a decade of several strangely varied and unrelated jobs and no novel writing. Working a stable corporate gig while not accomplishing (or even pursuing) any of my personal creative goals was DESTROYING MY SOUL.  So, I quit my job to become a full-time student and finish my degree, because at least that was kind of in the same universe as actually being creative.  And now, a year or two later, here I am, 32 and a few semesters away from finally finishing that English degree.  Clearly brains won’t get you everywhere kids.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7 and was on some form of medication until sometime in high school, when I decided I didn’t want to take it anymore, for reasons I won’t bother getting into.  It never occurred to me to even consider medication again until this semester, when everything fell apart.

ADHD can impact a person in a multitude of ways.  For me, the biggest impact is probably executive function issues.  I can wander through the garden of my ideas all day long.  I cannot make myself sit down and do work, no matter how much I may want to.  For personal goals, that means a literal solid decade of zero accomplishment.  For school, that means procrastinating papers until the night before or morning of or sometimes even two weeks late, on the night before the professor has to turn in their grades.  And the level of personal effort it took to make myself write that two-week-late paper was herculean in measure, when it really should not have been.

I’ve since learned that many professionals suspect this very common procrastination habit of ADHD folks is actually a kind of self-medicating by way of adrenaline via stress response.  Which sounds entirely plausible to me, because every semester since I’ve been back at school, I’ve found myself pushing the risky boundaries of procrastination further and further, like a drug addict needing a higher dose to get a fix.  A very unsustainable and unhappy process all around.

Which brings me to this semester, when the wheels finally fell off the car, and one of the campus psychologists found me crying on a bench outside the counseling center because they were closed for lunch and meetings, and I didn’t know where else to go.  I couldn’t do any of my homework, was crying every day, and having panic attacks.  To put it simply, I was a fucking mess.

I made more appointments at the counseling center, I spoke with my professors about what I was going through (hello more panic attacks), and for the first time in over a decade, I remembered that there are medications I should maybe try, and I made an appointment to see the psychiatrist at the campus medical clinic.  (Also, guys, if any of you are students, look into your campus resources.  There’s support for everything at my school.  There’s even an office that’s only there to help guide students to all the other support options.  Seriously, mental health, child care, food, housing, you name it.  Get the help you need.)

When I explained everything I had been going through, the very nice psychiatrist at the clinic told me, with an unsettling degree of alarm in her voice, that I was “deeply depressed”. Which, I knew, but she really sounded shockingly concerned.  And it’s like, jeeze, I maybe didn’t realize just how bad things had gotten, because I was just living with this shit every day, so it was kind of ‘normal’ for me.

Anyway, she agreed to start me on meds for my ADHD.  The one I’ve been taking is called Vyvanse.  I started on the lowest dose and have been gradually increasing.  A month in, I’m at a dose where I can clearly tell a difference, and it’s having a noticeable impact.  I wrote a meta yesterday.  I was thinking the thoughts, and just sat down and wrote it.  This morning, I got up and wrote some more, just notes for future things to do, but I did it.  Fuck, I’m writing this fucking thing right now.

I thought that maybe I should write this shit out, and it took a little while sitting and getting my momentum going, but now I’ve written 800 1300 1650 words.  And I’m sitting here actually crying as I type this paragraph, because this small little thing is like the biggest fucking thing in my life.

I don’t have any way to accurately explain what a big deal it is for me to have actively decided to write something and then to have actually actively produced content of my own volition and design, that wasn’t assigned to me and didn’t have a due date or a grade attached.  And, that I’ve done it repeatedly now…

OVER TEN YEARS.  Over ten years I went, writing almost nothing. Might as well have been zero words. Guys, I’ve been walking around with a trilogy of speculative fiction novels in my head for over ten years, I’ve been planning another unrelated novel for the last two.  I’ve been planning something like 30 fanfics, across two fandoms, and another 20 metas for the past year.  Part of me probably assumed feared that none of that would ever see the light of day. But now, it suddenly feels like maybe I’ll actually manage to write some of it.  And I’m hoping like fuck that it’s not just a fluke.

Now, the ADHD meds aren’t the only thing I’ve been doing to contribute to this ‘good place’ I’m in currently.  I’ve been going to counseling.  Apparently, I have a lot of negative feelings about myself and my inability to accomplish jack shit for a whole decade.  Who would’ve guessed?  I also have weekly sessions with the disabilities accessibility team at my university to work on external methods for dealing with my executive function issues. (Again, if you’re a student, utilize your university resources.  You’re already paying for them with tuition.)  And, this is obviously not an option for everyone, but even before I started the ADHD meds, I took advantage of the fact that I live in a state where certain botanical products are easily and legally available and found a brand of gummies that really help with my anxiety and panic attacks.  (They’re high cbd, low thc, so calming and don’t make you high.)

So far, the meds aren’t 100% sunshine and rainbows.  With the dose I’m at right now, where I’ve been Getting Things Done, I can actively feel the drug, which is… not the greatest.  I feel jittery, vaguely anxious, like I’ve drank way too much coffee but worse.  And, the decreased appetite is something I really have to be vigilant about, because I don’t have any room to lose weight.  These were both known possible side effects of stimulant meds, so I wasn’t surprised, and perhaps the doctor and I will be able to fine tune the dosing or try another med or something.  But right now, I think I’m really leaning toward, I’ll put up with the side effects, because holy shit, I can finally actually do what I want to do.  Also, I think (and Nice Doctor Lady thinks) the new higher dose is having a positive, stabilizing impact on my mood.

I guess my reason for writing all of this, other than pure catharsis, is to say, if you’re dealing with shit like this, try to be willing to consider all your options.  For whatever reason, I didn’t think about trying medication for my condition.  It wasn’t even like I was anti-meds or something.  I just didn’t even think about it.  Not until a few months back, when I sent a random ask to an ADHD blog on here, asking how they managed to make themselves write, and they responded with I had to get medication.  Suddenly, it was like… why have I not been considering this option?  So, this story is for anyone else out there that maybe also hadn’t thought to consider this option.

And really, not just the medication.  I’m a hide behind walls, overly independent, do things on my own, never ask for help sort of person.  But, I guess I finally reached a level of desperation where I was like, Clearly, doing this by myself, my way, has not gotten me the results I want.  So, fuck it, I’m going to ask for help from every professional available to me.  Which, I’m very lucky, and currently have ready access to multiple resources in a way not everyone does, but being open to getting this much assistance is very new territory for me.

I’m not really sure how best to wrap this up.  If anyone actually read all of this, I’m astonished and… Hi, I guess?  You really know quite a bit about me now.  Hopefully, I haven’t scared anyone off.  And, if anybody has further questions about any of this or you want to talk about your own issues, I’m sincerely available for that. I think the world we live in today makes it too easy to feel completely alone, even when you’re surrounded by people, and I’m here for chats, if you need it.

Hello!

It’s me, your friendly neighborhood artist & animator Lex AKA “nerdgasmz!”

So yesterday I learned that both of my parents are currently unemployed due to them being mistreated at their respective jobs, so I’m the only person right now making any income.

The problem with that is that at the current moment, as regular income, I only get paid monthly, and it’s not enough for me to pay my bills with- much less for me to support a family of 3 adults on. I’ve been job hunting and turned down repeatedly, but I haven’t stopped yet. Until I do land a steady job, I’ve been doing commissions again for the past couple of months.

You can learn more about my situation under the read more further down, but let me get on with it: This isn’t a gofundme or youcaring donation pool post or what have you. I feel that there are others who are in more dire situations who need help. But I do want to let you all know that it doesn’t take much to support me.

I have a Patreon!

For those of you who have known and followed me for years, you know the quality of my work, and what the goal of my work is: I want to entertain people and make their days a little easier by giving them some humorous or cool art to look at.

Because of this, I’m supported on my patreon account, “nerdgasmz”! In addition to 2D art, I’ve also been learning how to create 3D art and animations, which I post WIPS of on there. There’s much you have access to if you’re a public follower of my page, but for as little as $3 a month, you can view things that the public can’t!

I stream on Twitch and Picarto!

I do game and art streaming on my twitch channel, “miss_nerdgasmz”, and exclusively stream art on my Picarto channel, “nerdgasmz”. I have a donation link via Streamlabs (connected to my twitch) where you can contribute if you like what you see!

In terms of art, I usually stream my works in progress, like of certain drawings or my 3D work in Blender- but I also do a cool style of commissions stream where I do commissions LIVE for an audience, and you learn just how quickly I can draw in a time limit! (And because of current circumstances, you’ll probably be seeing some of those streams too!)

On twitch, I stream “Overwatch” during the evenings, and I mainly play Mercy, Zarya, Symmetra, Lucio, and Pharah- every other character I’m usually practicing. (Except Dva- I’m good at her, but I don’t main her) I’m usually grouped up with some friends where we make silly mistakes, some rare cool plays, and complain about the meta of Overwatch and what kind of balancing we’d wish to see in the game. You can check out some of my highlights in my tag, #Lex’s Overwatch Highlights

I also may stream “Dungeons & Dragons”, which I and many of my friends have been into lately (largely inspired by “The Adventure Zone” and “Critical Role”) But I and my friends haven’t fully arranged that yet. But hopefully soon!

Commission openings!

You can check my tag, #Lex’s billboard for openings! You can see previous commissions I’ve done for people in my tag, #Commission(s) and the tag is chocked full of art I’ve completed for others.

As I mentioned before, I do a special type of stream where I draw live for an audience, and I call them “Speed commissions!” The times can range from 15 to 30 minutes, depending on the type of art commissioned, but the art unfolds in real time, which can be awesome to see.

I’m also selling my drawing tablet!

I’m selling my Yiynova MVP10U tablet, which is what I’ve used for art for the past 2 years. I feel like my skills and needs have outgrown the resolution of this screen tablet, but it’s still really good and can be used by other artists who might be looking to upgrade to a screen tablet, but don’t have or want to shell out the money for a Cintiq. [You can find the full details about it in this post] And the price of the tablet is negotiable!!!

I do have my mom’s Microsoft Surface 3 that I’ve been using with her permission for art and I’ve learned how to use it as a drawing monitor with my Laptop.

For more detail about my situation, you can read under the cut:

So, the unemployment thing isn’t the only financial stressor, and I’m only listing issues that are more “immediately” urgent as they pertain to my family and I.

Problem 1.) Our house is pretty old and made with not-so-great craftsmanship by whoever built it. But our current, most important problem is that we have a leaking roof, and it’s been raining like crazy here in Missouri (setting records for floods in some areas) Thankfully we don’t have any flood damage- BUT the roof leaking is bad for my family’s health, because we all have allergies to things like mold and mildew, and allergy medicine can only do so much.

We had one half of our roof fixed, and that was to take care of leaking in our living room and my parents’ bedroom 2 years ago. However, because the other half isn’t fixed yet, our basement, bathroom, and cabinet where we keep our dishes are affected by the leaking. I put it in my budget to contribute to our roofing getting fixed, but I didn’t anticipate BOTH of my parents’ unemployment in that cost.

My mom says she’s going to file a claim with the insurance company for storm damage, and the deductible will be around $1000, so I’ve mentioned that what I was going to contribute to our roofing could instead go towards the deductible for her claim Last time we got half of our roof fixed was out of pocket and unrelated to insurance.) Basically, I would like to earn around $600 to contribute to fixing our roof. That’s my “minimum” goal, but if I somehow manage to earn enough to pay the whole deductible or for the other half of our roof out of pocket, that would be great as well.

Problem 2.) Our insurance was provided through my mom’s job, and our insurance ceased last Saturday. So we’re medically uninsured as well. My mom has a wide variety of health problems and her medications are expensive. In addition to that, I’ve been trying to take advantage of our insurance so that I’ll have access to mental health treatment. I’m diagnosed Depression and ADHD, so you can probably guess how helpful treating my conditions have been for my health and my work ethic.

I have medicine and pharmacy refills of Adderall and Lexapro to last me through September and possibly some of October, and we have enough on the family health savings card to pay for those out of pocket- but after that I’m on my own. And I have an outstanding balance at the treatment center I’ve been going to, due to the previous lapse in insurance (we were changing from my dad’s insurance to my mom’s at the time, and Cobra, a supplementary health insurance, was being extra stupid during that period.) Long story short is that I owe $600 for my treatment, due to the previous insurance lapse, and I would like to pay it off as soon as I can. It used to be around $800 or so, but we’ve been able to make payments to get it down to the $600 we owe now.

I was also planning on making an appointment with my family physician to discuss birth control options, because I feel like birth control would help with my aggressive PMS symptoms (every time I have PMS, my sleep patterns fuck up around the same time and I have a hard time working, even on my Adderall and Lexapro meds)

These are the costs that I feel need our immediate attention, and this doesn’t count other things that my parents pay for like the house payment, food, gasoline, car payments, and utilities. According to my budget, I need to make around $200 per week to help with these costs, until my parents and/or I get employed.

Hi, What’s your advice for someone who is currently studying for a first degree (completely medically unrelated) but wants to medicine after her first degree abroad? Do you think I could do it? Is it possible and also if you study abroad then what’s the process like to study in England? Also is it okay to directly message you? Thank you.

Hey it’s the same person from the last post. I can’t remember if I mentioned that I didn’t do Chemistry but I got pretty good grades and I’m currently studying for something else. But I’m dissatisfied and bored. But I want to at least complete it and then think of maybe going into medicine. What do you think?            Hello! I’m sure it’s a possibility!  At least in the UK. Which, the first time I read your ask, is where I also thought you were coming from. But now I’ve re-read it, I’m not so sure? I thiink I’ve understood your ask, but my brain is a little foggy, so if my answer is unclear or I haven’t quite understood things, feel free to send me another ask, or send me a DM. I’ll do my best to answer. You might want to check UK med school prospectuses/websites, as some of them specify which degrees they accept as ‘previous degrees’, but lots of them accept all sorts of degrees. I’m personally a fan of just emailing university admissions departments and just asking them something like ‘Hi, i’m X. I’m  a year 13 student who plans to study a degree abroad. Would you still consider me if I applied to medicine, having studied in [insert countries you are interested in here]? It’s useful to ask them, becausethat’s the only way you’ll be 100% certain. And if you have a good idea of what most universities want now, you can plan your future studies in peace, knowing what your chances are. In the UK,  medicine isn’t a graduate entry subject (though there are a few university that offer shorter 4 year courses for graduates, these are super competitive. I studied a normal 5 year course for medicine even though I had a good degree in a very related field). So if you had a degree from another country, most UK med schools would probably still be fine with it. They might not accept qualifications from every country (like, not my home country for instance) but they accept secondary school level wualifications from most countries. UCAS is the system through which we apply, and it might be worth contacting them to see if they would accept the qualificaitons from your country or the country you plan to study in. Lastly, it’s perfectly OK to DM me. I do sometimes forget to answer if someone’s DMs get buried under more recent ones, but I don’t mind either way. Hope this helps :)

@purgatoan kinda inspired me with their post about Sastiel headcanons. So I expanded their idea about Castiel being a merman/siren who is terrible at flirting and Sam the fisherman. This is just a quick story, apologies for inaccuracies about coastal Washington and any Briticisms.

---

Sam picked his way down to the rocky edge of the cliff towards the water. He could have gone out to the pier, but he needed to get away from the crowds. Out here, a couple of miles down from the beach, there was only rocky shores and overgrown cliff faces. 

He found a rock that looked smooth enough and settled on it, placing his tackle box next to him. He was completely hidden here from anyone on land and the road a couple of miles away. For now, he had this small cove all to himself. 

He shut his eyes, letting himself soak in the feel of the wind buffeting through his hair, the sound of the waves breaking against the rocks, and the smell of the salt water. The tension in his shoulders slowly loosened. 

The last hunt had been nerve-wracking, both he and Dean working against the clock to find out what was causing the sudden deaths of the seemingly unrelated victims in the small northerly town in Washington. It had taken several days of research, pulling out all their leads, fuelled by coffee and Chinese takeaway, before Sam had found a reference in the town's marriage records from a hundred years ago that had lead to a breakthrough. 

Both Sam and Dean had agreed they needed a break and had headed to the coast. Dean was no doubt checking out the bars in the area, but Sam wanted some time alone and had decided to pick up a fishing kit from the store. He opened his eyes, remembering his purpose for being here, and opened his tackle box, getting out his rod and the tupperware box of bait. 

John had taught the boys to fish when they were kids but it had been so long ago that Sam doubted he'd catch much today. Not that he minded really. 

He cast his line into the waters and settled down, holding the rod loosely. Very soon he found his mind drifting off, his gaze locked on the horizon. The anxiety and stress that he'd been keeping locked up within him faded away, leaving a blankness inside. 

He couldn't say how long he stayed like that, just letting things drift by, before he was startled by a loud splash. It was so close that he thought the tackle box had fallen in the water, but when he looked down he just saw a man, submerged up to his neck, hands holding onto the rock Sam was sitting on. 

The second their gazes locked, Sam felt like he was falling into those eyes,  a blue the exact shade of the ocean. The man's black hair was wet and as Sam watched, a droplet of water from his hair trickled down his forehead to his jaw. Sam's muscles felt frozen but at the same time he felt an overwhelming urge to go down and join the man in the water. 

The man's lips parted, Sam's eyes following his every move and,

"You are very good at holding that stick."

It felt like the world jumped out of joint for a second and Sam said, "Um," before realising he had no idea what to say to that. "I – what?"

The man still had that same determined blank look on his face as he carried on. 

"Your skin looks very dry, which is the norm for people like you. "

Sam outright gaped at that, and then he realised the man might actually be in trouble, maybe he'd fallen into the water and hit his head. 

"Are you okay?" He asked. "Should I call an ambulance?"

The man in the water got a petulant frown on his face and sunk down a little deeper, the water touching his chin. 

"You should try getting your skin wet," he muttered. 

"Uh, I think we should get you out of the water."

Sam stood up and the man pushed himself back from the rocks, treading water a few feet away. 

"I'm sorry for wasting your time," said the man. 

He slipped under the water the next second, completely gone in a moment. Sam hesitated, eyes frantically scanning the surface of the sea, muscles tensing when he saw nothing, until finally he swore, kicking off his shoes and pulling his jacket off before jumping in. 

The water was cold, and the salt stung when he ducked his head in, opening his eyes underwater trying to see anything. There was nothing but sand deep below him and scattered schools of small fish, seaweed waving gently. It was utterly silent except for the frantic beating of his pulse in his ears. He swam out as far as he dared, wary of currents, ducking down and back up to get air several times before finally admitting defeat. 

He collected his fishing gear and belongings, walking out to the road where he'd parked the car. Dean laughed at him when Sam picked him up from the darts bar, before going ballistic when he realised Sam had gotten a fair amount of salt water on the leather, despite changing clothes. Sam didn't mention anything about the strange man. 

Later that evening he hacked into the local coastguard records. He couldn't find anything, not that that confirmed anything. If the man had drowned his body might not have been found yet. Sam chewed his lips before putting the laptop away. 

The next day he went out to the same spot. He'd brought his fishing gear, again telling Dean he needed time on his own to relax. Dean grumbled but begrudgingly let him go, only warning him not to go for a fully clothed swim again. 

He put the tackle box and fishing rod next to himself on the rock but he didn't pick them up. He didn't feel like trying fishing right now. He sat for several minutes, just watching the sea, before he sighed and got out a battered paperback copy of Crime and Punishment. He was just enjoying the cat and mouse exchange between Porfiry and Raskolnikov when something, not a noise, but the absence of a noise made him look up. 

The man was there again, a little farther away, bobbing up and down in the water as he watched Sam. Sam's breath caught and he slowly lowered his book. 

"Hello," he started to say but the man interrupted. 

"I like sitting and holding things too."

Everything this man said was completely unexpected. Sam looked at the book in his hand in surprise. 

"It's just—it's a paperback I picked up."

"Yes," said the man firmly. "I enjoy paperbacks too. That is one thing we have in common. Care to join me for a swim?"

"Uh no, I just want to talk. I was worried when you didn't come back up yesterday. I almost called the coastguard."

The corner of the man's mouth twitched very slightly, in what Sam thought could be a smile, except that the rest of his face didn't move a millimeter. 

"You were concerned about me."

"Yeah, I thought you'd drowned. Are you okay? Is there someone I can call for you?"

"I'm fine." The man swam closer, resting his hands on Sam's rock, just inches from his shoes. 

"Uh okay," said Sam, glancing around as if a topic of conversation would appear, but also because looking too deeply in the man's eyes made his brain stop working. "What's your name?"

"Castiel."

Sam frowned at the unusual name. "I'm Sam. Do you come swimming here often?"

"No. I was looking for someone to talk to."

"Well, you know there are a lot better places to socialize than here. Maybe the beach."

"There are too many people at the beach. I want to talk to one person only."

"Right," said Sam feeling more and more confused. "I guess you found one person to talk to."

"Yes," said Castiel with that tiny upturn to his lips. "Do you like swimming?"

"Yeah. I don't get the chance to go very often though."

Castiel nodded. "Would you like to go swimming?" He asked, face turned to look up at Sam. 

"I don't have any swim trunks on me," said Sam slowly. Alarm bells were starting to ring in his head at Castiel's preoccupation with Sam getting in the water. "I could bring some tomorrow if you wanted to swim though."

Castiel's eyebrows lifted slightly, face brightening. "Yes. I would like that."

"Yeah me too," said Sam, and then looked around as though noticing something. "Anyway, it's been great talking to you but I have to go now. "

Sam stood up slowly, moving his feet out of reach of Castiel. 

"Oh." Castiel's face dropped to its usual blank expression and he pushed back from the rock. "Yes, I—it was good to talk. I'll come back tomorrow."

"Yeah sure, I'll see you tomorrow," said Sam, grabbing his stuff and waving while trying to climb backwards at the same time, keeping his eye on the man in the water. 

Castiel copied him, waving his hand while swimming backwards in an almost elegant manner, before ducking down out of sight without disturbing the water at all. 

Sam climbed the rocks up the cliff, and walked quickly to the car. He got in and drove back. His heart didn't stop pounding the whole way until he was in the motel and typing a search term on his laptop. 

Port bay Washington merman legend

Hey all! I'm a small business (print shop) owner and, having established my business locally over the past few years, have decided to spend 2019 studying and immersing myself in online marketing- Facebook/Instagram/Youtube/Tik Tok...I spent the past few months studying the Tik Tok alogrithm, figuring out what makes videos successful and best practices are when using the platform. Below is a rough draft of a write-up I'm planning to release on Linkedin in a few weeks. I think it's got some very useful info for those new to the platform and am open to debate with anyone who has successfully built a following and disagrees on any of the points :)Thank you!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What is Tik Tok:If you haven’t heard of Tik Tok yet, it’s time to start familiarizing yourself with the social networking platform. With over 500 million active users and a higher organic reach than every other social media app on the App Store, Tik Tok is well on it’s way to overtake instagram (just like instagram overtook Facebook) as the must-have app for millenials and gen Z in the next half decade.I was put on the app by my younger brother, now twelve, who started using Tik Tok over two years ago. Back then the platform wasn’t as popular in the US, with most of its user base being centered in China and India. It also went under a different name- “Musically”. In 2017, the company was bought out by ByteDance and rebranded. Since then it has seen explosive growth in the United States, mainly among kidsA strange shift has occurred. Rather than gen Z following in the footsteps of millenials and adopting Facebook and Instagram as their platform of choice, zoomers found their own place on Tik Tok. Stranger still, month by month, I see my friends and peers downloading and using the app, and the older demographic on the app growing.For those not in the loop, Tik Tok is an app that allows users to take short, 15-60 second videos and share them with followers and strangers. The in-app video editor features a host of features, including fun filters and effect (like those seen on Snapchat and Facebook Messenger) and an audio embedding feature that plays a pre-recorded audio loop behind you clip. Users can borrow each others audio clips and record their own video over them sort of like a template, fostering as meme sharing culture. It’s really much easier to understand simply by hopping on the app and spending a few hours watching videos.Personal Experience:As I mentioned before I first heard of the app through my brother, Jimmy. He has been on the platform for about two years now and makes at least a video a day without fail, sometimes more. Most clips are shot in his room and the content ranges from short, highly edited, silly dances to 60 second videos of him talking about his day. He averages about 50 views a video and, on a good day, may get 15-20 likes.I made myself an account over a year ago but have only been a lurker up until last week, when I decided that I understand the ecosystem enough to throw my hat in the ring. I shot my first video on my iphone 8, made some minor edits on my computer, and posted the clip. Within the first 48 hours the 16 second video had over 200 thousand views and 30 thousand likes (edit: now 300k+ views and 50k likes). What’s even more impressive is that the clip wasn’t a random dancing video or funny skit, it was a product video. Specifically, it was a short montage of me printing a tshirt at my home studio, a tshirt I sell online. I’ve since posted several other clips with various success and hope that Tik Tok will be a viable marketing platform for my business and my personal brand in the coming years. (feel free to check it out at @this_is_jonjon on TikTok)The success of my first post was not a fluke but a function of proper search engine optimization and my familiarity with the Tik Tok algorithm. While the video itself was nothing out of the ordinary, everything else- the caption, the thumbnail I chose, the hashtags used, even the backing track in the clip were all vital to it’s reach. Below is a more detailed explanation of the Tik Tok algorithm and a list of the factors I believe made the clip go viral.The Algorithm:I’ll mention right off the bat that no one other than ByteDance developers know exactly how the Tik Tok algorithm works, however, while minor points can be debated, the overall idea of how Tik Tok distributes and "rates" content isn't a secret.When you first load the app, you land on the “For You” page, similar to the discover page on Instagram or Facebook/Linkedin news feed. This is where you, as a consumer of Tik Tok content, will spend most of your time. The app will show you videos in all sorts of random categories- car videos, funny videos, dancing videos.. And will decide based on view time (how long you continue watching each video before clicking away) and interactions (whether or not you like/comment/ or follow the creator) whether or not you have any interest in said category. Despite only working with these limited variables, Tik Tok very quickly figures out what you’re interested in and begins feeding it to you, still occasionally throwing in unrelated content to see if you’ll “bite”. You don’t need to tell Tik Tok anything about your interests, they figure it out for you, and they’re almost always right.The content that ends up on your “For You” page isn’t content that’s made by your friends like on instagram or creators you subscribe to like on Youtube, it’s completely random content. Whenever someone uploads a video, regardless of what category the video is in, Tik Tok will try to show it to 50-100 people to gauge the viewers’ reactions. If the video has a good engagement rate, Tik Tok will continue showing it to random users, and if it has bad engagement, it will be swallowed by the void. About a quarter of the videos on my For You pajjge are these “tester” videos, made by unknown creators and with (usually) less than 50 impressions. Tik Tok found a perfect balance between showing you proven content you’re genuinely interested in and showing you “tester” content to figure out whether that content is worth sharing with more users. If the app senses you’re getting bored, it will feed you less “tester” content and more videos with proven positive responses, and visa versa.Gaming the System:Your first video)There is one final detail I failed to mention in the previous few paragraphs. The first video that any user on Tik Tok posts gets an instant spike in impressions. As a new user, Tik Tok metaphorically “throws you a bone” and will in most cases show your video to more people right off the bat than it would a video by a repeat poster. This means that it’s vital to make your very first post on Tik Tok engaging.Unlike Youtube, for example, where you can feel free to post tons of crappy content as you get comfortable in front of the camera and find your voice, Tik Tok will literally punish you for having a bad start. The app will rate you based on your first video, and while it’s possible to climb back up after a bad start, it’s better to just hit the ground running.Consider making a “tester” account to try out a few different video formats before having an official launch on another account, or simply take several videos and save them all as drafts until you find something that’s worth launching your Tik Tok journey with. Whatever you do, don’t open your account and launch with a boring “Hello World” style video, it’s instant death.Follow general video guidelines)Your videos need to be engaging, so it should go without saying that they should be of decent quality. If your video is grainy and pixelated people will click away before even hearing your message (I’m calling you out, Android users!). The majority of Tik Tok creators are teenagers filming on the cheap, front-facing camera on their smartphones. Simply using the back-facing camera on a newer model iPhone and finding good lighting is enough to set you apart from the competition. I mention iPhones for a reason, by the way. It’s not because I’m an Apple fanboy, it’s simply because apps like Tik Tok and Snapchat are better coded for working with Apple hardware.Make sure not to go the opposite extreme, however. Tik Tok culture values authenticity, high definition videos filmed on 4k DSLR cameras come off as too professional and almost feel like advertisements. Tik Tok users want to see you filming on a handheld device, they want you using the in-app filters and sounds, and will click away instantly if they sense your content is fabricated and ingenuine.Trend hopping)In my personal experience, understanding the culture of Tik Tok is the most vital part to anyone’s success on the app. My viral post used an audio clip that had just become popular a day before, and therefore rode on the success of about a dozen other viral videos using the same clip. Just like a musician can gain their first small group of followers by doing covers of trending songs, many Tik Tok influencers gained notoriety by jumping on trends that were already proven to be popular. Much like Tik Tok feeds its users popular videos and interjects “tester” clips every once in a while, many popular Tik Tokers post mostly trending videos- clips of them lip syncing popular songs and copying current memes, and interject personal skits and less popular content within.There is no way to explain Tik Tok culture and current trends in an article like this, especially since new memes and trends appear literally every day. The best advice I can give to aspiring influencers is to download the app and spend 30-60 minutes a day over the course of the next two weeks browsing the For You page. You’ll quickly begin to recognize common themes and motifs, and will get an understanding of the culture I’m talking about.Ask for the close)Even at only 20 years old, I find a lot of the content on Tik Tok cringy and childish. This is likely because, though the user base is growing, gen Z’rs still make up the majority of content consumers on the app. Regardless of the reason, attention-seeking behavior tends to do fairly well on Tik Tok. Actually, very well.Simply adding “I worked super hard on this vid pls like” at the end of your clip is enough to boost conversion. My biggest mistake in my first post was not asking for the close. I didn’t embed my Tik Tok username in the video, I didn’t have good profile picture or bio on my account, and I didn’t ask people to follow me in the description. As a result, no one followed me. After the first 24 hours or so the video had reached over 100k views and 15k likes but I had about 50 followers on my account. Upon realizing this I quickly changed my profile picture to a clear photo and changed my bio to something along the lines of “follow me for more cool content”. My follower count more than quintupled within the next few hours.Though this may seem in-authentic to the average marketer, it really isn’t. Tons of kids on Tik Tok pour their heart and soul into their content and genuinely want people to follow them. These creators, as well as most of the audience, see nothing wrong in asking for likes or follows. Asking for the close, in the Tik Tok community, is seen as more of a friendly reminder than a pushy sale.more info on: https://influencermarketinghub.com/tiktok-statistics/ (this is not my website, just a source)Thanks for reading! Hoping this helps some people launch/grow their account. I haven't seen a decent writeup on Tik Tok best practices yet so I'm hoping this can serve as a foundation. Please debate/add on points in the comments. -Jonathan.

dodge challenger insurance for 19 year old

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dodge challenger insurance for 19 year old

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dodge challenger insurance for 19 year old

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how confidential are job searches, I’m the office nail trimmer, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. How confidential are job searches?

My question is about job searching when you’re already employed. Considering people are well connected to each other in many industries, how confidential are job searches, really? I’ve been applying and get the feeling that my employer knows! I’m suddenly offered a promotion and given several other perks/recognition unrelated to the promotion. Do contacts give each other a heads-up?

If they’re ethical, no. Job searches are generally understood to be confidential, and thoughtful people understand that they could jeopardize your current job by revealing to your employer that you’re job searching.

That said, certainly not everyone is thoughtful or ethical, and it is possible that someone could share the information with a contact, without realizing or caring about the position they’re putting you in. (PSA to hiring managers: This is terrible behavior! Do not do this, even if you’re sure your contact will handle the information well. It’s not your info to share, and you’re abusing the trust that you’re asking applicants to place in you!)

2. My boss overshares her personal life to an uncomfortable degree

I recently started a new temp job. The office is small and disorganized, but it’s mostly a fine work environment. Except that my supervisor is a wild oversharer. I’m also an oversharer, so when I say she goes too far even for me? It means something. She shares things with me I won’t repeat here, both because of the sheer amount of private detail she gave me and because some of it could easily be triggering. These are things she should be seeing a therapist about, or at the least talking with a close friend.

Not with the temp.

It started on my first day and as it was my first day and the power dynamics between temporary employee and supervisor are such that I have … not very much, I just sat there and made sympathetic noises. I’m not alone with her often, so it took a couple weeks for it to happen again. But it did. And I made some more sympathetic noises and reminded myself the job would be over in a few weeks.

I don’t know if she does this with other employees, or just me. For whatever reason, it’s not uncommon for strangers to open up to me about their life stories and problems. Normally I don’t mind, but I’m at work and the detail she goes into has been frankly inappropriate.

This job only goes to the end of the month. It might never happen again, and then I’ll be gone. Other than this, she’s kind and and supportive, and has given me projects designed to help me learn new skills for my resume as she knows I’m seeking permanent employment. She also, frankly, is going through a VERY rough time. (Trust me. I know all about it.)

Since I’m not here much longer, I don’t know if it’s worth it to talk to her about the behavior or to go to someone else about it, though please tell me if you think I should. I’ve never had problems in a workplace and am pretty unfamiliar with the appropriate steps for different issues. As a Step One, could you suggest possible escape routes if I get caught being her therapist again?

If you weren’t about to leave, you might need to find a more direct approach, but since you’ve just got a couple more weeks, I think you can exempt yourself from having to have a very awkward conversation about this and instead just look for ways to extract yourself if it happens again. For starters, I’d find reasons to physically exit the conversation when it takes such a personal turn — for example, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or get something to drink. Or, if your job involves phone work, you suddenly have some calls to make. Or, if you can say it credibly, you can try, “Wow, that sounds really tough. I’m sorry you’re going through it. Well, I better get back to these reports — I want to make sure I meet the deadline.” Or even, “That’s awful — I’m so sorry! Hey, while I have you, can I ask you about (work question)?” That last one might sound a little callous, but really, what she’s doing is not appropriate, given that the power dynamics make you a captive audience, and it’s okay to steer her back to where she should be.

3. I’m the office nail trimmer

I have a compulsive habit regarding my fingernails and cuticles. I’ve had this habit since a very young age. It started as nail chewing, but thankfully I kicked that habit in early middle school. Keeping them painted was useful, even though painted nails are really not my thing. For the past 10+ years, the compulsion has manifested in picking at the skin surrounding my fingernails.

I’m working on killing this skin-picking habit, but it’s been about 20 years in the making and I hardly ever realize I’m doing it, so it’s not easy. Because of this, I’ve started using a cuticle clipper (looks just like a normal nail clipper, but the edges are curved differently) to satisfy this urge in a way that’s safer and tidier for my fingers, and it seems to be helping me be more aware of when the compulsion strikes, since I have to reach for a tool instead of mindlessly fidgeting. The problem is that now when I feel the need to do this at work, it’s way more obvious than when it had just looked like I was fidgeting.

I have my own office with a door that closes, so I always do that, but the outer wall and the door to my office are glass. I am conscientious of trying to put the clippers away when I hear someone coming by (the glass isn’t terribly soundproof), but occasionally I’ll miss it. I worry I’m grossing people out, but don’t want to go back to picking with my hands. What say you?

The fact that you have an office with a door is hugely helpful here, even though the door is glass. Being seen occasionally clipping a nail in your office with the door closed isn’t a huge deal. If they see you in there doing it all the time, yes, it’s going to look odd, but if you’re mostly stopping when you see through the glass that someone’s approaching, you’re probably fine.

4. My boss is requiring me to greet him

At work we are under some tight deadlines. I was unfortunately called away for a week. While I could not come in to work during the day, I decided to come in to the office to pick something up to help me do work at home. I was tired, didn’t want to talk with anyone, and was hoping to get in and out without any conversation if possible. However, my boss noticed me and while on my way out called me into his office. He told me that as the boss he expects me to say hello to him. Not that it would be nice, but it’s expected. I can understand exchanging pleasantries in the morning out of politeness. But to require it of your subordinates seems excessive. In the case above, I just wanted to get in and out. On other days if I am there first and busy with projects I don’t necessarily want to stop what I am in the middle of just to give a required hello.

I know to some, this may seem rude or petty, or some may even view it as not being a team player. However, I find it irritating to stop my train of thought and interrupt my work flow to exchange pleasantries. I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. Anyway, the question I have is, can my boss really REQUIRE me to say hello to him?

Sure. He can also require you to wear only blue or to sing him a lullaby as a condition of keeping your job if he wants to. All of those things would make him an ass and a ridiculous person, but employers can set any conditions of employment they want as long as they’re not explicitly illegal (for example, as long as they’re not rooted in discrimination based on race, sex, religion, disability, or other protected class, or as long as they don’t subject you to sexual harassment, etc.).

Your boss is being A Bit Precious by requiring you to greet him, but it’s a minor enough thing that you’re better off just greeting him, while internally rolling your eyes that he’s requiring this.

5. Should I send a cover letter even if a job posting doesn’t ask for one?

I was reading the job description for an internship. It ended with “please send your resume to Firstname Lastname at [email protected].” There was no mention of a cover letter or other documents to send. It did not say to not send a cover letter either. I was wondering if I should add a cover letter with my resume in those circumstances. Some advice I saw said that if they do not explicitly say to not send one, I should send a cover letter even if it’s not requested, to stand out as a candidate. Other advice said to not add the cover letter, as it might look like I cannot follow instructions and that the recruiter or hiring manager would have asked for a cover letter if they wanted one.

I opted to send my resume with a very short paragraph in the body of the email with the main points I usually underline in my cover letters that are not apparent from my resume alone. I would like to know what you think would have been the best thing to do.

Unless they specifically say not to send a cover letter, send a cover letter. Lots of hiring managers read and are influenced by cover letters, but whatever job posting system their company is using neglects to ask for one. It’s a very rare hiring manager who will penalize someone for including an unsolicited cover letter, since they’re such a standard part of a job application. It’s not like you’re sending a poem or a link to a future performance review you’ve written for yourself, which would indeed be odd and a turn-off. You’re just including a normal part of an application.

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how confidential are job searches, I’m the office nail trimmer, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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