i didnt realize dunkin refreshers come pre-sweetened so i ordered mine with stevia times 3 and this thing could hurt someone

ok time for 2 days worth of journaling

yesterday I discovered that if I take half of a mini bagel (because the store was out of bagel things), put on cream cheese and a slice of salami, you can make a pretty good bagel bite. I talked with my dad for a while about college things when he came home from work and brought groceries. I also made a frozen chicken Laredo pasta thing for dinner and ended up sharing it with my mom. dad and I shared ideas for what to add to it next time to make it better. I started with chopping up spinach, because I know it shrinks a bunch and is easy to hide in stuff. I want to try adding a little salt, maybe some garlic and onion, parmesan cheese, more greens, a bunch of stuff. idk. I like pretending to be a chef. but I talked with my ad about what kind of stuff I'll need for college, and how I'll probably need to buy real clothes and makeup so I dont look like a goblin who’s been existing solely in basketball shorts and pajama pants for the past year in quarantine.that;s why I made that post last night about fun girly sleepover or simple-ass makeup tutorial. I tried washing my face with an Olay soap bar, and it left my skin feeling nice but idk how good/bad it actually is for your face since its meant to be a body bar. I real online that a plain dove bar is actually pretty damn good for your face, but Olay was the only thing I had on hand. whatever. i played a bunch of stardew valley as well

I slept like shit last night, waking up at like 4 am and all mr dreams being shades of muted grey and brown and broken up into blocks, idk. I've been having weird abstract dreams and sleeping like shit for the past couple days. I think that's partially what cause my head to spin all afternoon. whenever I moved my head, it felt like my ghost was lagging behind my body if that makes sense. it sucked but got better when I moved around. I had my dad bring me water and Tylenol and then come back a second time to light my candle because he smelled like cigarettes and left the smell in my room. but I realized it was April fools day when I woke up, and contemplated how I was gonna prank my friends. I didnt come up with anything until my sister sent a picture of a crashed white Volvo, saying she failed her driving test. when my mom showed me I didnt believe her for a second, and folded over laughing when my mom was concerned about if it was real or not. I stole that joke and showed it to my 2 friend groups, with panicked misspelled texts to go with it for *authenticity* lmao. both groups fell for it at first, but band friends taking longer to catch on so I had to tell them it was a prank. my gamer friend in the other chat caught me almost IMMEDIATLY with reverse google image searching. but I laughed my ass off for a while either way. I didnt play any stardew today but I did play a little Webkinz. when my sister came back from her driving test, my dad brought home Dairy Queen blizzards and mentioned getting a nice-is dinner takeout :) unfortunately I waited forever for him to bring home food and it never happened. so my sister and I went through the mcdonalds drive through and got served by this absolutely DELIGHTFUL middle aged man who was very nice and funny and I told him she just got her license today. we went home and ate in my sisters room and watched John mulaney’s new in town. I had never actually watched the full special, but through Tumblr memes and a million animatics, I had pretty much seen everything. I had fun tho. we got regular chicken sandwiches when we porobably should have gotten the deluxe ones with lettuce and tomato and source or just gone to Wendy’s. tbh Wendy’s is SO MUCH FUCNKIN BETTER. and the mcdonalds was more expensive than I thought it would be. whatever. if we had gone to Wendy’s, sure we would have gotten better burgers, but we wouldn't have seen that deightful man. anyway earlier today I gave my cat some catnip and she was really cute about it. do cats drool more when they’re high? cuz damn it sure felt like it when she was mashing her face into my hand.  for lunch I made a different pasta thing, this time shrimp lomeign. I added spinach and broccoli, which I'm going to do for now and forever because it SLAPPED but my mom was acting like a child, saying broccoli is gross. she had me make spaghetti and proceeded to eat 3 or 4 bowls. I had a couple and went to my room. I realize that I'm typing all this shit WAYYYYY out of order, sorry to me reading back in the future or anyone who bothers to read these. tbh why would you. I hope people dont have my talk tag blocked (thanks for coming to my ted talk) and instead have 2021 daily blocked if they dont want to see these. I still make funny posts sometimes!! that’s also what I tag my art with!! but neither of those people would be able to read this anyway so I'm just preaching to the choir. anyway you’ll be happy to know that my head is no longer spinning, my teeth are nice and clean, I've got my comfy socks and pajama pants on, and I’m ready for bed. eventually. it’s not even midnight yet lmao. I guess I can mention this morning when my cat yelled at me asking to go outside, but it was literally FREEZING and im 100% sure I saw some snowflakes while I was out there for a couple minutes. she got so cold she climbed up on my lap as I was wrapped in my childhood sleeping bag I found in the laundry room. I breathed warm air on her and sat out there for another minute or so, mostly insulated by the sleeping bag, but carried her inside eventually. I didnt want to have to deal with that shit. tbh even tho I just had mcdonalds and it’s almost midnight and I've already brushed my teeth, I'm still a little bit hungry. but I dont know it’s that’s just because I'm lying down and your body takes a little while to tell you when you’re full, or if it’s because I waited for SO LONG waiting for city barbecue or bento cafe that just a burger and fries wasn't enough to cut it. well I'll just sleep it off anyway. you know what’s really cute? my cat laid on my lap and rested her chin on my hand as I typed :) I love her

Feb 2021 Wins

1 - osce study with clara almira, tryout 9 fkui, tryout review with clar, study sesh with clara that finished at about 10 pm. watched some youtube vids together til 11:15 pm. no longer sleepy, so i made my cv and finished it at about 3 in the morning lmao, bcs i saw this interning opportunity and i was like “damn i should make my cv”

2 - woke up at 7 am, didnt shower lmao, off to kiara for vaccination. Waited for a bit and i finally got it. ate mamdaging pesto rice with beef at kamkan w/ ren ness ara akisyah. talked at studied osce a bit. waited for mom to pick me up. until when do i need someone else to pick me up. i feel helpless and i hate that i cant just ride my motorbike because its too tiring. went back and dad got mad at me bcs i didnt greet him when leaving and entering the house. I truly didnt see him when i entered even though i heard sumn lmao. He said sumn along the lines of "you can always leave if u dont like me" (which is lowkey appealing). I cried bcs i felt sad and annoyed with our terrible emotional parent-daughter relationship. Hold the tears for a bit to study with clara. Darkened the room and slept still in my going-out clothes. I did not shower today lmao,,,,

3 - woke up at 10 am. Tryout and review w clara. Psych coaching. Psych practice with irun. Called lau and dajen bcs hes leving to medan. Randomly checked my email and my intern submission, which i emailed yesterday, that turns out the doctor replied at 8pm yesterday asking for interview today 11 am. And i saw it @ 6 pm. Aka super late. The stupidest thing ive ever done in FKUI. No cap. :( i panicked and it gave me a reason to talk with dad (asking how to reply) so i guess its a form of effort to banish the awkwardness between us. Studied w clara. I hope the doctor can forgive me. Its one loose end after the other lately.

4 - went to starbucks with atikah. got treated matcha latte yayy. cicil osce. called clara to learn imunisasi. went to kaleyo w atikah clara, ate bebek muda cabe ijo yumm. talked abt a lot of things in a span of 1-2 hours. we’re all pragmatist lmaoo. 

5 - osce briefing, DV osce practice w irun, watched run bts again lmaoo since knowing my osce schedule is thursday. read buku osce biru. 

6 - slept and lazed around til 1 pm. went to flavola since the construction was so noisy. osce simulation with UKMPPD Wibu. turns out flavola’s siomay is very fulfilling.

7 - todays construction noise escape is jco. Bought jcool double with almonds and chocolate crunchy. A bit of psych practice w aisyah. After maghrib practiced neuro w irun

8 - had no mood to study in the morning. Went to flavola, kopsusss coklat as usual. Reviewed osce materials (theres some tea about what might come out). Reviewed again at home (even tho i procrastinated from 6-9pm). Asked my bro for some ovo bcs i bought a mini keyboard in tokped lmaoooooo so random

9 - went to merra (ara and nessa’s place) but mom drove dad to the airport first. stome osce study, group consolidation for osce, tried mad bagel (the garlic cream cheese and tuna salad). the bagel was quite dense and fulfilling. the garlic cream cheese is quite heavy. arrived at home by 9 pm, went straight to sleep

10 - omg dr eva contacted me again :”) and i got the chance to be ecmocard research assistant. osce study. line call with ara. matcha latte. studied in juan’s room bcs it was so noisy. the keyboard i ordered arrived lolll cant wait to try. i dont know if its the anxiety or fear but i cant sleep and forced myself to sleep 11pm-ish

11 - osce. Went early to learn sumn more w ara tri. Osce (i forgot opv for the 5 mo old baby in peds station 😭 there was dr yogi omg) prayed zuhur and ashar in merra while waiting for pick up (i rly wish i could just bring my own vehicle but motorbike is rly tiring). Finally tried the mini keyboard, with earphones on. Practiced the song aku bukan untukmu by rossa lmao bu sihar taught us that in 33. I felt rly excited and not sleepy afterwards (that "normal" feeling with nothing looming). Its been a while since i tried something new, voluntarily. I guess its kind of what i felt when i tried the korean duolingo. That lasted for a couple months. Lets see how this keyboard thingy goes

12 - finally finished reviewing to oneshot (took ages lmao). Lazed around

13 - inten ukmppd w ness ren ara @ merraaa always. Went through 5 pdfs. Tried fastfit chicken burger and sweet potato fries. Quite fulfilling. Went back home and straight to bed (didnt eat anymore)

14 - started my day late as usual on weekdays lmaoo. flavola kopsus coklat as usual at my usual seat facing the window. did padi final tryout, score: 69. booty call with fianti, did mindset tryout, got 76,5.

15 - lazed tilll i start my day as usual @ 11-ish. Reviewed to padi final answers. Wow it sure took some damn time. My attention span is rly horrible when im alone in my room

16 - second dose of vaccine today. the rain was POURING. mom and emir waited in mcd. read half of aipki citation. 

17 - finished aipki citation, read CBT 2020 batch I and 2019 batch III questions. read a fantastic slow burn dramione fic. reviewed the last to solid.

18 - accompanied clara for swab antigen near airport train station (we came with motorbike since clara’s car was used). got called over by the police bcs we were in the car-only road lmaooo. went over optima tryout 2021. 

19 - cicil ukmppd at flavola with the usual menu, read some more afterwards

20 - ended up going to tamel bcs the flood in tb simatupang toll. Stayed w nessa and henny. Ate garlic carbonara spaghetti by bittersweet najla. Quite good for the price. Went over mediko questions with nessa and first session citation. Atikah sent some krispy kreme donuts 🥺🥺

21 - woke up at 4 bcs henny and nessa already did. Ate cold kanayam for bfast. Did ukmppd. I flagged quite a lot of questions huaa. I hope i can pass, aamiin. Went to tamel to get stuff (nebeng oca uye), climbed jembor to get to akis et al. Went to aeon (super crowded tffff), followed by ikea (parked at decathlon). Ate at both places (shared portion w kris lmaoo we get full quick). Aeon sushi and ikea meatball. So fulll. Went out of ikea to be briefed by dr Debby (ecmocard) and put my stuff to mom's car. Went in ikea again. And finally we went back. such a good sleep yall

22 - relaxed and i mean RELAXXXED. woke up and slept again. showered to prepare to go to harkit for intern briefing. i was late (thanks daan mogot road) and had to grabbike from untar. put on some sheet mask (natrep rose) bcs im realizing i need to fix my face and look decent for this new environment lmaoo.

23 - left home at 7 am, went through highway (i aint repeating daan mogot tragedy again). walked a bit backwards bcs the hightway exit was infront of dharmais. super slow progress on entering medical datas. took half a day to get one. and another half for the other. ate marugame udon, somay, chicken katsu and otak otak. we finished after maghrib and im writing this while waiting for mom

24 -  tried salted egg dori rice from salt inc. its quite salty and eneg inducing (a bit more than eatlah), but for the price (19k after cashback) i wont complain. Went back home before maghrib but there was still some medical record stuff i did in my room.

25 - magang as usual. Tried chicken egg salad from salad hut. Bought ice french hazelnut coffee from lawson coz i just cant take it anymore (the slump and sleepyness). I feel like the moment that sugary beverage enters my system i rise like a freshly watered plant. First meeting with dr eva and the others

26 - felt so tired even in the morning. Its 9 am and im already ordering janjiw coffee (with hazelnut and milo, quite sweet. Like a mix of kopiko and milo). Slow progress today i dunno why. Lunch is nayam rica2 and egg for 21k. Went back home by tj and mom picked me at gajah 2

27 - i hate to say this but bcs for 5 days now ive been fighting sleeping instincts, i snap out of sleepiness easier in the morning. Nasi uduk for brekkie. Moved some stuff up bcs the noise, played keyboard. Learned the (difficult) chords to tyler's see you again and im feeling satisfied. Went to racheel's place. Got fed chicken noodle. And then off to silvi's with devi also. Got fed chicken rice and dimsum. Thanks to friends im eating superwell today🥺

28 - relaxed at home. Skipped breakfast bcs i fell asleep and ate heartily in the afternoon. Evening run w racheel at citra 6