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fromtheringapron · 4 years

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WCW Starrcade 1990

Date: December 16, 1990.

Location: Kiel Auditorium in St. Louis, MO.

Attendance: 7,200.

Commentary: Jim Ross and Paul Heyman.

Results:

1. Bobby Eaton defeated The Z Man.

2. Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, Round 1: The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott) (USA) defeated Col. DeKlerk and Sgt. Krueger (South Africa).

3. Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, Round 1: Konan and Rey Misterio (Mexico) defeated Chris Adams and Norman Smiley (United Kingdom).

4. Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, Round 1: Mr. Saito and The Great Muta (Japan) defeated Rip Morgan and Jacko Victory (New Zealand).

5. Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, Round 1: Salman Hashimikov and Victor Zangiev (Russia) defeated Danny Johnson and Troy Montour (Canada).

6. Michael Wallstreet (with Alexandra Yorke) defeated Terry Taylor.

7. The Skyscrapers (Sid Vicious and Danny Spivey) defeated The Big Cat and The Motor City Maniac.

8. Tommy Rich and Ricky Morton (with Robert Gibson) defeated The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael PS Hayes and Jimmy Garvin) (with Little Richard Marley).

9. Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, Semi-Final: The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott) (USA) defeated Konan and Rey Misterio (Mexico).

10. Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, Semi-Final: Mr. Saito and The Great Muta (Japan) defeated Salman Hashimikov and Victor Zangiev (Russia).

11. Texas Lariat Match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Lex Luger defeated Stan Hansen (champion) to win the title.

12. Street Fight for the NWA World Tag Team Championship: Doom (Ron Simmons and Butch Reed) (champions) (with Theodore Long) fought Arn Anderson and Barry Windham to a no-contest.

13. Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, Final: The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott) (USA) defeated Mr. Saito and The Great Muta (Japan).

14. Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (champion) defeated The Black Scorpion.

My Review

The 1990 edition of Starrcade is an outright bad show. Amusingly bad, yes, but it’s still a pretty resounding failure. The cherry on the shit sundae, of course, is The Black Scorpion, one of WCW’s most infamous creative blunders. The storyline leading up to Starrcade was a lot of pulpy early ‘90s hokum⏤a mystery man, who may also be some sort of wizard, haunts world champion Sting for months with a groggy voice provided none other than Ole Anderson. It was completely ridiculous and demanded an equally ridiculous payoff.

What makes it suck so bad, however, is that not only is the reveal underwhelming, but it’s also boring. The Scorpion, first and foremost, is dressed like a masked jobber on an episode of WWF Superstars. Then it’s revealed the Scorpion is Ric Flair, the same man who Sting had already faced off with a billion times in the past two years. It’s admittedly interesting watching Flair try to completely abandon his style to play a new character, but the match itself is a by-the-numbers chore. Oh, and Dick the Bruiser is here as a terrible special guest ref who adds completely nothing. At least the Scorpion has the decency to enter the Kiel Auditorium through a spaceship that looks like your grandmother’s antique lamp.

But that’s not all, folks! We’re also treated to the Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament, featuring teams from all over the world. A noble ideal, but the talent pool is, um, underwhelming to say the least. For example, we get wrestlers billed from “South Africa” who clearly aren’t from that country. Not that it winds up mattering anyway, because the whole point is for the Americans to beat them all. The matches are also hindered by some blown finishes that really kill the mood. It’s just a series of missed opportunities that could’ve been much a cooler concept if they’d thought more outside the box than “Welp, America wins LOL!”

It should be noted this is the second out of four consecutive tournaments WCW would book for their biggest show of the year. This is firmly ensconced in the era where the booking for Starrcade started to get a little wonky, anyway. I’m not sure how much of it had to do with them trying to distance themselves from the NWA name as much as possible or what, but it took away from Starrcade’s standing as a marquee show. It says a lot about this time period for WCW⏤constantly throwing one gimmick out there after another in hopes something would eventually stick.

It’s kinda sad, because it’s clear they didn’t need to go so far out of their way to establish their own identity. So many pieces of the puzzle are present in this show, from the production to the roster. It’s when they work overtime in competing with the WWF that things falls apart, a mistake they’d go on to repeat several times over. Collision Course is a fitting tagline for Starrcade ’90, and I’m not talking about the tag tournament. The show is a hodgepodge of half-baked ideas and, like any collision, the result is a mess.

My Random Notes

Apologies for the blurry quality of the poster above. It’s practically the best version I can find right now. Cut a queen some slack in the midst of pandemic, eh?

A few production notes: 1.) Why is the WCW logo on the entrance way always crooked? 2.) I love the blue and yellow ring apron, but the red and yellow ropes are a weird fit. 3.) We’re treated throughout the broadcast with Starrcade Stats, a cheeseball yet time-period appropriate concept giving us trading card details on each of the night’s competitors. For example, the Z-Man does a missile dropkick “if possible.”

Spot of the night goes to Col. DeKlerk who damns it all and hits one of most ill-conceived front flips of all time, which causes Rick Steiner to visibly corpse on camera.

Laugh at Team Russia all you want, but they absolutely would be at a singlet party in Provincetown during Bear Week if it were 2020.

I’m pretty supportive of having filler matches on pay-per-views, but what the hell was even the point of that Skyscrapers squash? Did they forget to book it on WCW Saturday Night and need to make up the minutes?

We get our first taste of the highly acclaimed commentary duo of JR/Paul Heyman. It’s a slightly awkward first outing. Heyman isn’t really the Heyman we’d come to know yet so he sometimes comes off as a second-rate Bobby Heenan. He tries making a joke that the Midnight Express broke up due to Yoko Ono, which is every bit as painful as it sounds.

You mean to tell me the best Canadian wrestlers they could find were Troy Montour and Danny Johnson, whom I’m not even sure are actual wrestlers?

This should go without saying, but the Fabulous Freebirds and their fetishization of the Confederate flag is, um, a huge amount of yikes in a 2020 context. I don’t know a whole lot about about the point of them having Little Richard Marley as their sidekick, but I don’t think I want to know.

As with the dawn of any new decade, the ‘80s were still alive in 1990 and you need to look no further than the Dynasty extras they put on this show as the flag-bearers, with hair almost as tall as those big ass stars on the entrance way.

This, amazingly, marks the first time I’ve seen Rey Misterio Sr. (or Rey Misteric, as he’s referred to in the Starrcade graphics). I’ve honestly never even Googled his name to see what he looks like. It does seem like his nephew has a much better handle on the high-flying maneuvers. He inexplicably launches himself over the top rope after his Round 1 match is over. I’m sure it made Col. DeKlerk proud.

#wwe network #wrestling #wcw #sting #ric flair #90s wrestling

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