#also if for some reason anybody wants more recs i'm always down to share some 👀 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kebinwooo · 4 years

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tagged by @theyoungflexer! sorry for taking so long! school has been absolutely kicking my butt :(( anyways i both loved and hated this bc i can wordvomit about all the kpop groups i listen to but then also i had to cut down a lot bc if i were to ACTUALLY write down everything, it would go on for like twenty pages lmao (and bc of that everything will be under the cut; i promise it didn’t reach twenty pages tho!)

— fandoms:

kissme, carat, monbebe, wenee, unme, myday and i partway stan a bunch of other groups: currently a baby fuse, choice, insomnia, fantasy, tomoon, goldenness (and so so so many others)

— ult bias(es):

kevin from ukiss! except he’s somewhat fallen out of favor for junyoung of ukiss recently lol also joshua ^^ (BUT NEVER IM CHANGKYUN 😤)

— ult group(s):

ukiss (ULT OF ULTS; FOREVER AND ALWAYS), seventeen and monsta x

— other groups/soloists:

WONHO!!!!!!!! (/chants WOLO) but again if i were to list all the groups/soloists i love and follow and listen to, this would go on forever. here’s a small preview tho: eric nam, ailee, day6, onf, oneus, a.c.e, dreamcatcher, sf9, the rose, unb (missing them ;;), kard, golden child, pentagon, mamamoo, got7, teen top, infinite, b.a.p (also missing them ;;), vixx, the legend (ugh missing them too), royal pirates (MISSING THEM MOST), and honestly just about any 2nd/early 3rd gen kpop group. i also stanned a lot of nugu groups before like 2015. basically you name them, i most likely stanned them at one point or another LOL

— biggest wreckers:

literally everybody in svt and mx LMAO but also leedo from oneus makes me feel many things 😳 and junhee from a.c.e 😳 and brian from day6 😳 also wyatt from onf is my favorite emotional support himbo LOL (again this is what i got off the top of my head... i’m sure theres more)

— favourite songs:

OH BOY. I WILL TRY MY BEST TO LIMIT IT TO MY ABSOLUTE FAVES

ukiss: someday, neverland, 0330, standing still, tick tack, heartless, stop girl, one of you, a shared dream, one call away /trying to refrain from listing half their discography/ also including junyoung's solo songs: phenomenal world, curious about u, be your man

seventeen: pinwheel, kidult, good to me, snap shoot, call call call, run to you, clap, highlight, pretty u

monsta x: lost in the dream, destroyer, mohae, stuck, livin’ it up, dramarama, stand up, by my side, misbehave, beside u, she’s the one (also since i still consider wonho part of mx even tho he’s solo now) open mind!

day6: love me or leave me, colors, sweet chaos, days gone by, shoot me, letting go, you were pretty, congratulations, man in a movie, i smile, dance dance (and basically the rest of their discography LOL)

unb: black heart, feeling, dancing with the devil, only one

the rose: sorry, black rose (/SOBBING), she’s in the rain, red (i also love sammy’s/woosung’s face... like the song but i do like his face as well LOL)

— favourite albums:

again so many.... so i’ll just do my absolute faves again

ukiss: neverland album (SO GOOD UGH), also their stalker album was pretty good, i also really liked their one shot one kill album BUT ITS NOT ON SPOTIFY AND IT GOT TAKEN DOWN FROM YOUTUBE SO I’M SAD. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO ACCESS JAPANESE MUSIC ARGHHHH

monsta x: take 1. are you there is the queen. all about luv is good too. and even tho it hurts me, i also really like follow: find you

seventeen: an ode THE ULTIMATE QUEEN. but i also really like al1 and teen,age too

day6: EVERY SONG OF THEIRS IS A NO SKIP FOR ME SO EVERY ALBUM IS A FAVE. but if i had to choose: the book of us: entropy, the book of us: the demon and sunrise.

also an honorable mention to sf9 bc i listened to their entire discography like two months ago and i realized they had some absolutely solid music as well. their 9loryus album has been on REPEAT

— kpop doppelganger:

lmao definitely none but i relate a lot to hyungwon LMAO also i have the same birthday as ft island’s seunghyun but hes like a lot weirder than me LMAO

—

if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading!! it really took a lot of self-restraint to not write EVERYTHING i like but this still ended up so long lmao.... anyways tagging @xfirebenderx, @bookwan and @nebulouswaters but don’t feel pressured to do this!

#tagged #the way i had to keep telling myself 'marleen ok stop it there sTOP IT THERE'#i've been a kpop fan for way too long and have too many music recs LOL #also if for some reason anybody wants more recs i'm always down to share some 👀#especially if it's older groups bc i can go on for AGES

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kris-p-banana-bread · 3 years

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Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

#bear talks #doafp #robert cañero reed #bobby cañero reed #gabi cañero reed #elena cañero reed #camila doafp #sam faber #fun times #sorry?#I can write a cute fluffy fic to make up for it #i cri #also sorry if I made these a bit too much about bobby #I just relate to him as the older sibling #I added some more so if it got out of hand I’m sorry #tell me and I can make it neater #my meticulousness might just make myself do that on my own tho

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clumsyclifford · 4 years

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good morning 💕 (morning for me anyway) so firstly waking up to a new spidey au part is amazing & then a cute jalex prompt is even better 🙈 also i'm very excited to listen to the happy recs 😊

anyway since i had a night of too many vivid dreams i'd like to request "33. Kiss in a dream" with lashton, please? -fiancee

good morning! except you sent this at almost 4am for me and now it’s 9pm so not really morning either way but i accept the sentiment. i’m very happy u liked the fics and i hope u like the recs <3 AND i hope you like THIS fic. i fell down a rabbit hole of 5sos family instagrams so we also get a jack scene because, you know, i love him. xoxo

“Had a weird dream last night,” Luke yawns, trekking into the kitchen. Jack’s sitting on the counter, looking at his phone with a mug of coffee in his left hand.

“Yeah?” Jack says. He doesn’t look up. “What about?”

Luke frowns. He probably shouldn’t have mentioned it, but whatever. It’s just a dream. “Have you ever kissed someone in a dream?”

Now Jack does look up, grinning. “Oh shit, really? First dream kiss! Congrats, Lukey, that’s a big deal.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Luke says defensively. He doesn’t want it to be a big deal. He has weird dreams all the time, and those aren’t big deals. Just because in this one he’d kissed his friend, doesn’t make it a bigger deal than the one where he’d been invisible in a broken-down elevator with Green Day.

“Who’d you kiss?” Jack prods, then takes a sip of his coffee. “Someone I know?”

Luke blushes. “No,” he says, except he’s always been a terrible liar.

“It totally is,” Jack says. Luke turns away, reaching for the loaf of bread on the counter and pulling out two slices. “It is! Who was it?”

“I don’t want to tell you,” Luke says, putting the bread in the toaster.

“If I guess it, will you tell me?”

Luke sighs. “Fine.”

“Calum.”

“No, oh my God!”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jack says, holding up his hands in surrender. “Uh, Calum’s sister?”

“No.”

“...Michael?”

“No.” Luke makes a face. “Michael? Really?”

“I’m just going down my mental list of your friends,” Jack says. He gives Luke an impassive look. “There aren’t that many of them, you know. I’m bound to get it eventually.”

“Maybe it wasn’t one of my friends,” Luke challenges.

Jack waves him off. “No, it definitely was, or you’d have told me. Okay, who haven’t I said. Calum, Michael…Ashton? Was it Ashton?”

Luke reddens. He turns back to the toaster. “No.”

“It was Ashton!” Jack crows. “Hey, no shame, mate! Ashton’s cute.”

“He is not.”

“You don’t think Ashton is cute?”

Luke splutters. “He’s — that’s not the point! Stop it,” he says, pointing a finger at Jack. “I didn’t ask to dream-kiss him, okay? I’m not in control of my dreams.”

“They’ve got to come from somewhere, though,” Jack says. He grins. Jack always grins like he’s going to make fun of Luke, whether or not he actually is. “It’s fine, bro, you can want to kiss Ashton if you —”

“I don’t want to kiss Ashton!” Luke insists.

“You wouldn’t have dreamed it if you didn’t,” Jack says.

“That’s so not true! I dream weird shit all the time that I don’t actually care about.”

“Yeah, but it’s a kiss, Luke. That’s not just some random weird shit. That’s a real thing you actually dreamed about doing with a person you know. Your friend.” Jack gives him a meaningful look. “Who you think is cute.”

“This is why I don’t tell you this kind of thing,” Luke says, scowling. “It was just a dream.”

Jack shrugs. “If you say so. I don’t care.” He takes another sip of his coffee. Luke makes a face. He can’t fathom that Jack actually enjoys coffee. It smells awful. “Are you going to tell him?”

“Tell Ashton?”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “If it was just a dream, you might as well. If someone snogged me in a dream I’d want to know.” Luke supposes he’d want to know, too. Jack has him cornered, too, because if he says no, of course I won’t tell Ashton, Jack will point a victorious finger — so it wasn’t just a dream after all! But he really doesn’t want to tell Ashton, because that’s a weird thing to tell. And even if he prefaces it with this doesn’t mean anything at all, I just thought you’d be interested to know, it’s still weird. Ashton will think it’s weird.

(Also, maybe Luke has a small crush on Ashton, maybe. And he really doesn’t want to jeopardize their friendship, which is still so new.)

“Sure,” he lies. “I’ll tell him.”

Jack shakes his head and drains the last of his coffee. “You will not.”

“Why would you ask if you’re just going to argue when I say I will?” Jack laughs. “Whatever, Luke, fine. Let me know what he says.”

“I will,” Luke says stubbornly, forgetting that this is a lie. He’s not going to tell Ashton, right? He can just make something up. Yeah, he said good for me, and everything’s aces! Yeah, right. Jack’s seen through every single one of Luke’s lies this morning. Luke should invest in lying lessons, or else he’s not going to get very far at all.

“Good,” Jack says, hopping down off the counter. “And it’s your day to take the trash out, don’t forget.”

“I know,” Luke says. Jack puts his mug in the sink.

“Have fun at band practice,” he says as a farewell, and then retreats from the kitchen, maybe to go do homework or, more likely, play Fifa. Luke scowls at his back. There’s a reason he doesn’t share embarrassing shit with his brothers (Jack, specifically) anymore.

He reaches for Jack’s mug and rinses it out so the coffee doesn’t dry at the bottom, then grabs a plate for his toast and retrieves the Vegemite. The dream is exiled to the back of his mind, and he doesn’t think about it the rest of the morning.

(Doesn’t think about how much he’d like to remember exactly how it had felt, because all things considered it’s not like he’s ever going to get closer to kissing Ashton, and already the details are slipping through his fingers, until all he can remember is the warmth in his chest from knowing that someone like Ashton could have ever wanted to kiss someone like Luke.)

“Okay, we need to take a break,” Michael declares, setting aside his guitar. Michael’s not the boss of them, but Luke is inclined to agree. He’s getting bored of playing “I Miss You” over and over, and anyway he needs water. “Five minutes.”

“Five,” Ashton repeats, firmly. “And then everyone back here.”

“Sick,” Luke says, also putting his guitar down. “I’m getting water, anybody want?”

All three of his bandmates raise their hands, and Luke sighs. “I can’t carry four cups of water.” “I’ll help,” Ashton says, leaping to his feet. Calum coughs, and Ashton shoots him a look. Luke just smiles gratefully, and together they head to the kitchen.

“I really like that song,” Ashton says as Luke reaches for four plastic cups from the cabinet.

“Me too,” Luke says. “Fun chords. And the ending is cool.”

“Yeah,” Ashton says, although he probably wouldn’t know fun chords from boring ones. But Luke appreciates the effort.

“It looks fun to do on the drums, or,” Luke makes hitting gestures with his hands, “the cajón. You know.”

Ashton mirrors his movements, laughing. “Yeah,” he says. “It is, yeah.”

“Alright, look.” Luke scowls, but Ashton just pats his shoulder, and the look disappears pretty quickly.

“It’s fine,” he says, taking one of the cups out of Luke’s hands and thrusting it under the tap. “Tap water is fine, right?”

“Unless you see someplace else to get water,” Luke says, making a show out of glancing around the room. Ashton rolls his eyes. The smile doesn’t disappear from his lips. Luke likes that about Ashton, that he’s always smiling.

“So how are you?” Ashton asks. “I mean, aside from rehearsal? How was your morning? How were you yesterday?”

“One question at a time,” Luke jokes. “Fine, all fine. I mean, I didn’t sleep much last night because of homework, and then Jack was making fun of me this morning, but you know.”

“Making fun of you for what?”

“My —” Luke breaks off. He can’t stop now, or it’ll seem very suspicious, but they’re getting dangerously close to uncharted waters. “Just a weird dream I had.”

“Ooh, I love weird dreams,” Ashton says conspiratorially, handing off one full cup to Luke and swapping it for an empty one. “What was it?”

“No, it wasn’t that weird,” Luke tries to say, but Ashton’s face starts to fall, and Luke doesn’t want to be responsible for that. “I mean, it was just — I kissed someone, in my dream. Which was really strange. I’ve never had a dream-kiss before.”

Ashton raises an eyebrow. “Get it,” he says, and Luke ducks his head, laughing through the nerves. His face is surely burning red by now. “Who’d you kiss?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Luke says emphatically. Attempting to change to subject, he adds, “Anyway, that was right after I found out I was adopted and Billie Joe Armstrong was my real dad all along.”

“Did you kiss Billie Joe Armstrong?”

“Ew, Ashton, I just said he was my dad in my dream!”

“Well I don’t know what kind of freaky shit your mind comes up with!”

“No,” Luke says vehemently. “It was a friend, oh my God.”

Ashton immediately looks more interested. “A friend?”

Fuck. “Well,” Luke says diplomatically, “more like just a person that I know in real life. Not necessarily a friend. Could be someone from school. Or, like.”

“So a friend,” Ashton says, a teasing smile on his lips. “I can see why Jack made fun of you for this. Why don’t you just tell me who it was? I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“You will laugh,” Luke says. “I don’t want to tell you.”

“Come on,” Ashton wheedles. “What’s the worst that could happen? Can I guess?”

“No,” Luke says, because that’s exactly how Jack had gotten him this morning, and he’s not going to make the same mistake twice. “Nothing bad will happen. It’s just weird, and I don’t want to say.”

Ashton rolls his eyes. They’ve filled all four cups of water now, and there’s no reason for them to linger by the sink, yet Ashton looks like he’s not planning to move. “You don’t have to tell me,” he says. “I just thought you could. Because we’re friends. You know. If you really don’t want to, then I’m not going to make you.”

Luke stares at him, guilt rolling around his stomach. That’s not fair. Ashton’s totally manipulating him, and Luke knows that, and it shouldn’t be working, and Luke wishes it weren’t working, but it is.

Fuck. It totally is.

“Fine,” Luke sighs. “I’ll tell you, but promise you won’t make it weird?”

“I won’t make it weird,” Ashton swears.

Luke worries his bottom lip between his teeth. He picks up a cup and takes a long drink from it. “Okay, well, it was you,” he finally says, looking down at the tiles of the kitchen floor so he doesn’t have to see the look on Ashton’s face.

A beat.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” Another beat. “That’s nice. How was I?”

Luke looks up. “Don’t make fun of me,” he says.

“I’m not!” Ashton says quickly. He cracks a smile but it’s a little uncertain. “I just want to be sure your first dream-kiss was an enjoyable experience.” Luke groans. “This is weird,” he says. “You’re making it weird.”

“I’m not trying to.”

“Well, you are. I take it back. Pretend I never said anything.” Luke takes his cup of water and moves past Ashton, but Ashton grabs his arm.

“Luke, just calm down a second. Sorry if I sounded like I was making fun. I’m just, um, I guess I’m just wondering —” He clears his throat. “Like, maybe it would be nicer in real life than in a dream?”

Slowly, Luke turns, fingers tightening around his cup. “What? Like, kissing in real life?”

Ashton is blushing. Luke’s never seen Ashton blush before, but he’s definitely doing it now, cheeks turning patchy pink as he rubs a hand across the back of his neck. “Well, I don’t know. Yeah. I mean, it’s not really fair that you got to have a dream about kissing me and I’ve still never kissed you, in dreams or otherwise.”

“What?” Luke says dimly. “You don’t want to kiss me.”

“Well,” Ashton says, “I can pretend I don’t, if you want. I just thought — I’ve never kissed anyone in a dream that I didn’t want to actually kiss in real life, so I figured —”

“Yes, I want to kiss you,” Luke says boldly, over the sound of his heart battering his chest. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Ashton says, frowning. “I wouldn’t joke about this, what kind of person do you think I am?”

“I know, I just, um, you’re you? And I’m me,” Luke says, gesturing between them like this is some big revelation. “So I’m taking a moment to process.”

“Oh,” Ashton says. “Well, take all the time you need.”

Luke stares at him. It occurs to him that Ashton is waiting to kiss him, and that thought fills his whole body with butterflies. “Okay, I’m done,” he says, even though he’s not really, and could spend hours trying to reconcile the idea of Ashton as a person with Ashton wanting to kiss Luke and probably still come up empty.

“That was fast,” Ashton says. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yeah,” Luke breathes, setting his cup of water down on the counter. Ashton smiles and shuffles closer. He presses both palms to the sides of Luke’s face, and Luke’s eyes flutter shut, soaking up the heat of Ashton’s hands against his skin. Already this is better than his dream, a hundred times better.

Then Ashton presses their lips together, gently, and all thoughts of Luke’s dream dissipate, replaced by real Ashton, actually kissing him, in real life, in Michael’s kitchen. He’s pretty sure his hands are shaking from the excitement.

Ashton pulls away and smiles, and Luke smiles back, then ducks his head, feeling far too nervous to look Ashton in the eyes.

“So?” Ashton prompts, which makes Luke look up again. “Better than the dream?”

“Oh,” Luke says, smiling like an idiot, “so much better.”

Ashton looks pleased, and Luke hopes he dreams of kissing Ashton again tonight, just so he can wake up and remember that he’s actually done it for real.

#luke hemmings #ashton irwin #lashton #lashton fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #fun and interesting bella fact: MY first dream kiss was a guy from my synagogue #but i did think he was cute so. you know. fair enough #and then another one was a guy i had a crush on in middle school and for my first year (and maybe also second?) of high school #everyone is getting far too much information about my kissing history from the tags of these fics #sorry guys #anyway fiancee i love you for the many prompts i will get to them at some point #but i am currently DETERMINEDLY procrastinating a paper that should. ideally. be finished before midnight tonight #which is in three hours #SO i finished this fic but now i had better go and do that #god i cant believe registration for spring is literally tomorrow night #STRESSSSSSSSSSSS #anonymous #ask #answered

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theclaravoyant · 7 years

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Hey! I'm loving your trans!Fitz series. Could you write a like, more FS centered piece within it? Like, how they got together, their first time sleeping together, anything like that? Thank you for such amazing works with such good representation

AN ~ Thank you so much! I’m glad you’ve been loving Leopold!

This is basically “first date” fluff - though I would also be up for writing their first time etc. if that’s still a point of interest for people? Perhaps a more AU version?

Anyway, without further ado, enjoy!

Read on AO3 (~1700wd)

Spearmint

“Why don’t you ever come swimming?” Jemma wondered, bringing her ponytail around to the side so that she could sponge it dry a little before moving onto the rest of her body. A bikini decorated in bright orange and pink floral print contrasted her pale flesh, but Fitz couldn’t help but blush a little as he tried not to look too hard. She was his best friend, but he was only a man.

“I- I don’t know,” he explained. “I guess I still don’t like taking my top off.”

“Why?” Her eyes darted down to his chest. “Do you have scars?”

Fitz crossed his arms.

“I’d rather not talk about it. Just… hurry up and put a shirt on, please.”

Jemma rolled her eyes and tugged a loose shirt over her shoulders. Then, wrapping the towel around her hips, she gestured for Fitz to lead the way from the pool area.

“You know, there are bathing suits that wouldn’t require you to wear a top. And plenty of the guys swim in tanks.”

She gestured to a group of them, as one leapt almost out of the water to spike a volleyball into the opposing side. Fitz fixed her with a sardonic glare.

“Oh yeah because I can do that.”

“You could if you wanted to.”

“Have you seen me?” Fitz gestured to himself. “I’m made of spaghetti! I was not built for physical prowess, Jemma, I am a massive nerd and I have accepted my place.”

Jemma laughed, a snorting, nose crinkling laugh.

“You do know we attend a school full of certified Massive Nerds, right?” she reminded him. “It’s not like we’re the only prodigies in the world.”

“I’m the youngest guy here by almost three years,” Fitz pointed out, holding the gate open for Jemma. “Do you know how much puberty you can go through in three years? It’s a lot.”

“You’re not the youngest person here, though,” Jemma insisted. “You can’t tell me some of the girls haven’t been looking. Come on.”

She grinned, and looked him up and down a little mockingly. He was fully dressed in shorts, a tank, and a half-open button-up tee, but he still felt tempted to cover himself further, squirming under her gaze. Realising he was uncomfortable, Jemma sobered up a little.

“Nobody?” she wondered. “Well, have you asked anybody?”

“A few people,” Fitz admitted, “but we never get past a first date.”

Jemma baulked and glanced back over her shoulder, feeling her blood begin to boil in indignant defensive rage.

“Not because of that,” Fitz assured her, and urged her to walk on before they could make a scene. “That’s not first date material. It’s just… me. I can’t flirt to save my life, I find forced conversation boring, and I’m too insecure. If I’m attractive it’s because of my brain, but once they realise the brain comes with this grouchy, gangly… mess… it’s all over.”

He shook his head and Jemma puffed her chest, still indignant, though not as enraged this time.

“You converse with me all the time!” she insisted.

“You’re not forced!” Fitz explained. “Or boring. And for some reason, you like this gangly insecure mess. If you could tell your friends why, I’d be much obliged.”

Jemma laughed a little, but this time, it died out as Fitz stopped them by the corner of the rec centre’s café and began to dig in his pocket for some cash. How was she supposed to tell him it was because of lines like that? It was because he was sweet and funny, as well as smart, that she liked him. But, it seemed, he did not like her back, or he – genius that he was – would have surely thought to ask out the girl, apparently the only girl, that he enjoyed having conversations with.

“I was just going to get a candy bar,” Fitz prompted, “but I’ve got time before Calc. Want to stop for a milkshake? I’m buying.”

“A milkshake?” Jemma raised her eyebrows. “In this weather?”

“Swimming?” Fitz gestured to her shirt, which was beginning to soak in places she had not finished drying off. “In this weather?”

Touché. Jemma’s incredulity turned into a smug smile and she slipped into a nearby seat as her reply.

“Spearmint, please,” she specified.

“Naturally.”

“A burger joint?” Jemma mused, looking around as Fitz held the door open and she stepped through. “You should have warned me. I would have worn my full skirt.”

“And that’s, what, a half-skirt?”

Fitz gestured to the rich ruby-red dress she wore.

“No, I just like syncing my outfit with the mood of the evening, that’s all.”

“Well, I didn’t have a 50’s suit lying around, so fair’s fair,” Fitz explained. Jemma smiled appreciatively at his tux. They were probably overdressed for this place, but it was one of the classier themed restaurants she had been too – and frankly, they had been through too much to give a damn anyway.

“I wanted to take you somewhere swanky,” Fitz continued, “but given the, uh, heaviness of our last first date I thought I’d keep things a bit lighter this time around. And I know you like burgers, and curly fries, and you hardly ever let yourself eat them.”

“I have a reputation to maintain,” Jemma explained, but her eyes glinted with mischief as the waiter brought a basket of curly fries over to the table. She plucked one out the instant it was set down, and bit into it hungrily.

“This was a brilliant idea, Fitz!” she exclaimed. “And not just because I’d like to eat my weight in these fries and never look at garlic bread again. Good food, a fun theme, it was really clever of you to think of it. I love it. Even if I do have a skirt with literal poodles on it that I never get to wear anymore.”

“Didn’t you buy that as a costume for Daisy’s birthday?”

“I fell in love with it, okay?!”

Fitz refrained his laughter as another waiter came around with two milkshakes – chocolate for him, spearmint for her – and set them down on the table, and left again. Jemma blinked as she watched them leave, and looked around. Leaning across the table, she whispered:

“Fitz? Did you book out this whole place again?”

“You said it was sweet.”

“And expensive!” Jemma gasped. “You don’t have to do that anymore, you know I’m okay now, right?”

“Jemma.” For a moment, Fitz’s eyes were solemn as he lay his hand over hers. They were so far from okay that even thinking about the distance was too much, really, and Jemma’s expression softened.

“It is sweet, though,” she acknowledged. “It’s just… also sweet to know we can afford to eat for the next month.”

“Oh, Coulson’s paying. For the venue, I mean. Everything else is on me but he insisted on contributing to your ‘mental health fund’. Which he’s put me in charge of, because he knows you’ll never touch a penny if you can help it.”

Jemma rolled her eyes.

“That’s sweet too, damn it.” Blinking, she found herself tearing up. “No, this was supposed to be fun! Fun!”

“Hey, happy crying’s alright,” Fitz assured her. “We don’t do much of that these days. Have some milkshake. Uh - you still like spearmint, right? I don’t think we’ve had it since… you know.”

Jemma took a deep breath, creeping apprehension filling her gut. Part of her wished he’d never brought it up, but now that she thought about it, if she took a big gulp and hated it she’d never drink spearmint again. Squeezing his hand where he still held hers, Jemma took a slow, hesitant sip…

And then she drank deep, and sighed in satisfaction. Her memory filled with long days at the Academy where Fitz had shouted her more than a few of these shakes. Of swimming with her friends even when it was cold. Of beachside holidays with her family, and car trips through the crisp morning air. Of Fitz and Daisy sword-fighting with tongue-sharpened candy-canes, and Fitz bringing her breakfast in bed, and of the snow and the sun, and back here.

Fitz was smiling. She could see the curiosity in his eyes, wondering where she had gone, but he kept the question to himself.

“Still good?” he asked instead.

“Still good.”

“I’ll have the bran berry forest yoghurt, please,” Jemma requested. “And he will have…”

Jemma nudged Fitz with her foot under the bench. The diner was a lot more contemporary-road-house than 1950s-milkshake-bar, and the all-but-soldiers that had traipsed in that morning were far from the goofy teenagers or overdressed second-first-date-goers that had gone before them, but they were not immune to hunger. Or to sentiment. Maybe, Jemma thought, just maybe, sharing bacon and eggs, hashbrowns and pancakes with his dearest friends might help lift Fitz out of this funk, at least for a while.

“Fitz?” she pressed. “Would you like me to order for you?”

For a moment longer, she contemplated dragging him outside or out the back for a scolding and a speech insisting that she was not going to let him stave out of this misery. But then, he smiled uncertainly at the waitress.

“The English Breakfast, please,” he requested softly. “And, uh. Two milkshakes, please? One chocolate, one spearmint.”

“Sure thing, sir.” The waitress nodded. “Can I take your menu?”

“Hey, can I get in on that milkshake thing?” Daisy wondered. “What’s the best one? Chocolate? That’s always a safe bet, right?”

“Sounds good for you, but I’ll take a vanilla,” May said. “We do have a chocolate-banana if you’d prefer it?” the waitress offered. “Or choc-mint or choc-peanut.”

“Damn, I’m allergic to peanut,” Coulson muttered, “but I’ll take the choc-banana. Daisy? Choc-banana? Mack? Elena?”

The rest of the table erupted into a rousing debate on milkshake flavours that was both intriguing and entertaining given the waitress’ expression. At the end of the table, Fitz and Jemma let it fade into noise.

“Thank you,” Jemma murmured, taking a sip of her shake. Fitz smiled a little, and she felt her heart settle in equal measure, as he showed her that despite his fears and doubts, he still saw some place with her.

“It’s no problem,” he assured her.

She reached for his hand, and he let her take it.

#fitzsimmons #thefitzsimmonsnetwork #aosficnet2 #aospositivitynet #trans!fitz #prompt me stuff #Anonymous #clara's fic tag

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