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#also idk if i gave all the appropriate warnings so if i didn't lmk
mulletmitsuya · 3 months
Text
Toman groupchat
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant
Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid
Mikey: i just took the biggest shit
Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm
Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth
Kazutora: ?
Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you
Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?
Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked
Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas
Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard
Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?
Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth
Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about
Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist
Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...
Baji: ?
Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.
Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this
Baji: never been good at biology
Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀
Baji: so men can't get pregnant?
Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant
Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?
Chifuyu: yeah i guess
Baji: interesting
Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough
Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch
Mitsuya: wtf
Draken: is the biology lesson over?
Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment
Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us
Mikey: you guys are my friends
Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements
Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting
Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation
Chifuyu: excretion
Mikey: excrement
Kazutora: fecal matter
Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross
Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police
Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao
Mikey: LMAO😭
Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??
Baji: we're 17
Draken: 😐
Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ
Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy
Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO
Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck
Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs
Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??
Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?
Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing
Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?
Smiley: she's a drug addict
Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through
Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??
Kazutora: that's not fair☹️
Kazutora: where are you meeting women?
Smiley: outside
Kazutora: oh
Draken: why did she try to kill you?
Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win
Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭
Draken: that sounds like assault actually
Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)
Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked
Smiley: we were both high off our rockers
Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand
Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police
Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering
Chifuyu: why men?
Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much
Kazutora: also he's gay
Draken: fuck off i'm not
Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you
Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?
Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁
Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car
Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something
Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that
Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?
Baji: especially the high pitched ones
Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks
Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes
Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes
Kazutora: Baji what are you on about
Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂
Draken: uhh
Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this
Baji: why
Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people
Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head
Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem
Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?
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