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#also i tried to give her heart shaped chest fluff a la 'a girl like her' map
curlfeatherz · 3 months
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elounorfluff-blog · 5 years
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Inhaling Every Moment
A/N: OK I already apologized for this in my previous post. The whole thing isn’t heart-wrenching, I promise. Like and comment, reblog or DM with feedback! And a super fluff-filled nothing sad at all Christmas one-shot is coming in December. So here’s Christmas 2016....
The air felt colder than usual, but it had nothing to do with close to freezing temperatures outside. Louis wasn’t sure his life could have been in a more horrific state than it was that chilly night in December. The funeral had been held two weeks ago and he didn’t know how there were any tears left in him. After that awful day, it had been too much for him to keep leaning on Dani. Snapping at her when she was just trying to help and then apologizing over and over again until their relationship had more tension than comfort. She had left two days after his X-factor performance, on amicable terms. He knew it wasn’t her fault he was so upset with the world right now, but he didn’t think he could be with anyone in his current state. And of course, she had been at the funeral. Some part of him had expected to see Eleanor there, but when he actually saw her in living, breathing, form, it was like someone had sliced open freshly sewn stitches. He’d barely been able to say more than a few words to her.
His birthday had passed yesterday without any festivity beyond reading a hopelessly long letter his mother had left behind for him, telling him how proud she was and that she wished him only to find peace in the coming year. Lottie had also made him eat something and changed his sheets, and then taken him and Fizzy, along with the older twins to get hot chocolate. It had been a sort of quiet he wasn’t used to, but he had never been more thankful to have so many sisters. They were all in this together, at least.
And there had been today. Christmas. In their rented London home close to the hospital that no one could bear to leave just yet. Nobody woke up early to open gifts, but Dan and Fizzy had started making pancakes around noon as people drifted downstairs. It was an odd kind of relief to have things to do that day. Traditions that simply had to be upheld lest they have one more reminder of Jay’s absence. And so, they had decorated the tree that had sat neglected for the past month as they had been too busy with goodbyes and funeral plans and grieving to worry about something as trivial as ornaments. The memories held in each little trinket he hung up ended up being of far more comfort than he thought they would. He had found all the little things he’d made her in primary school, ornaments from different years which read “the Tomlinsons”, and listed names on some item. The first looked like a cookie sheet and simply held Marks name, his mum’s, and his own. The most recent was in the shape of a large snow globe and held at the top “The Tomlinson-Deakin Family” and read on tiny name plaques, “Jay, Dan, Mark, Louis, Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy, Phoebe, Doris, Ernest”. He’d smiled, wondering what the person who had done the calligraphy must have thought, writing all those names. Every single one of the kids had some creative ‘Baby’s 1st Christmas’ one as well, his own simply stating those words on a tiny silver frame that held a photo of his Mum with him at one day old, not even discharged from the hospital yet.
They had sat in the living room and opened a few gifts from each other, before they had finally addressed the tense absence hanging in the air. Each of them had gone around and told the happiest story they could think of about Johannah. And for awhile they had laughed even though the pain was still fresh. She had brought so much joy to their lives. They had stayed in their cocoon of togetherness, not wanting to leave the warmth and comfort of seeing their mum in each other’s eyes, but then children started to fuss, and the night had to end as Lottie and Fizzy got the younger twins off to bed. He had to let the great world spin, whether he wanted to or not.
It was close to midnight now. He knew all the older girls were probably crowded into one bedroom, asleep on each other, as they had been since the funeral. He sat downstairs, in a back room with vaulted ceilings that was full of windows to let light in during the day. He was curled up on the couch, with his knees hugged to his chest feeling completely numb.  He took out his phone in hopes of finding a distraction, scrolling mindlessly through the names in his phone. Louis wasn’t even sure how or why he had hit call on Eleanor’s contact, it just happened.
Meanwhile, El sat in her sweatpants alone in her London flat. She couldn’t bring herself to go home to Manchester. She’d tried to enjoy herself earlier with a friend who’d invited her to dinner, but now she simply felt alone, save for Bruce, who she was currently using as a pillow. She missed Jay with everything in her, but more than that, she missed the normalcy of being around the Tomlinsons and how comforting it had been just to wrap Daisy and Phoebe in her arms at the funeral. His family was the only one that was going through this process with her, but she felt like an intruder, so she kept her communication to a minimum. When her phone rang, she didn’t intend to answer it until she saw the contact name flash.
“…. Hello?” She answered hesitantly.
“Hey,” Louis said quietly.
“You’re up late,” she mumbled.
“Surprised you’re still awake,” Louis replied awkwardly.
“I haven’t really slept much since….you know. Did you need something?” She asked with curiosity rather than annoyance.
Louis paused as if trying to remember something. “Not…not really, I guess. Just can’t sleep either, although apparently everyone else can.”
Eleanor spoke before she thought, “Do you want me to come over?”
“I can’t say the answer is no. I promised you no more lies, but if you’re tired, I understand” he told her, which was true. They had spoken briefly after Jay told her about Brianna’s pregnancy. It had been a strange conversation where she questioned why he felt the need for her to know before the public, and he’d answered her that despite not feeling they could reconciliate, he felt he owed her honesty, and that honesty wasn’t letting someone you had been with for three and a half years find out you were having a child from the media.
“I’m a little tired, but that doesn’t mean I can fall asleep anytime soon. Be over in ten?” El didn’t know why she agreed. A little birdie (actually twin ones with iPhones) had informed her when Danielle had gone back to America and their general understanding that Louis and she had split.
“Yeah that works…. See you soon.” The line went dead as he hung up.
El turned to Bruce, “I have to go, love.” The dog answered by putting his head on his paws. “….Actually? Do you want to go for a ride in the car…yeah?” The dog’s ears perked up and he sat, pawing at her. “Alright, but we have to be very quiet.”
She grabbed a clean sweater, double checked she had on deodorant, and didn’t bother beyond that. She packed up her golden-doodle and started her car.
Lou texted her to come in the side door, where the deck was waiting off the room where he currently sat. He heard her pull up but didn’t see her until she was at the glass door, holding a giant bundle of tan fur in her arms. Lou gently slid the door open as she stepped in and set Bruce down. “You brought your dog?!” He whisper shouted.
El shushed him in reply, quietly telling Bruce to lay down. “Yes, I brought my dog. You have to take care of them you know.” She wasn’t sure why she was being so forward, although Louis had purchased Bruce for her and known him quite well. He had been their dog. “Besides, you can’t tell me that fluffball is anything other than comforting,” she told him quietly.
Louis gave her a look but then his eyes softened as he crouched down to pet the dog. “Hey Bruce-y. How’s life been?” He sat down on the ground against the back of a couch and pet him.
El joined him on the ground, still wearing her coat and boots, rubbing her dog’s belly as she talked mindlessly. “He’s been okay. Definitely missed you when you first left.” She tried to fill the endless silence. “What’s on your mind?”
Louis sighed, “Just…how lonely things seem without her. I didn’t even see her all that often before she was diagnosed, I was busy living it up in LA, but then I was here constantly after that call. I was afraid if I left for too long, I might never see her again,” he said without looking up. He scratched Bruce’s ears as a distraction.
“At least you got to say goodbye?” El tried to look for something comforting but wasn’t coming up with much.
“You’re only the hundredth person to say that to me”, Lou rolled his eyes, standing up. “I need to smoke,” he told no one in particular, slipping on his shoes and heading out to the deck. Eleanor followed him, since Bruce had fallen asleep in the warmth of the house.
El pulled her coat tighter around her in the still night air, watching Louis take a pack and a lighter out of his sweatshirt pocket. She leaned against the railing and put one of her hands out. “Give me one those,” she said.
Lou gave her a strange look, “Didn’t you quit smoking…. four or five years ago?”
“I quit because I was dating someone in a band who had in image to uphold for millions of thirteen-year-old girls in 2011, you hypocrite”, she deadpanned, but he still didn’t look like he planned on surrendering any. “Give me a fucking cigarette!” She whisper-shouted.
Lou looked he had been shaken out of trance as he handed one over to her and lit it for her. “Well at least I can count on you not to lecture me about the hazard”, he told her, taking a drag off his own.
El almost laughed as she exhaled, “I’m pretty sure the fact that Jay hated smoking is enough of a lecture by itself.”
“You’d think. I’ve been awful about it though. I can go through a pack in two hours easily,” he informed her. It was true. His nerves never seemed to calm down and for some reason the routine dispense of nicotine into his system felt at least somewhat relaxing.
“Well, we all have our vices,” she knew it wasn’t worth lecturing him about anyway. He was going to do it either way until he worked through Jay being gone. They were silent for a few minutes as they smoked, until she stomped hers out on the ledge, too cold to continue. “You almost done, it’s bloody freezing out here?”
Louis saw her shivering and threw his in the ashtray. “It’s warmer upstairs, inside I mean,” he said as he offered his hand to her to walk back in. El glanced at him suspiciously before accepting it.
“What have you been doing down here, then?” She asked as he slid the door open.
“I…I couldn’t fall asleep alone. The girls are all piled in with each other, and if you hadn’t heard, things weren’t really working between Dani and I. She left two weeks ago,” Louis pat his leg to call Bruce over while El took her boots off. He had forgotten how much he cared about the dog.
“I heard,” she said quietly, looking for a subject change. “He remembers you. I can tell, he wouldn’t let Max near him for months, but he doesn’t even make a sound when you pet him”, she said watching the two interact, “are we going upstairs?” She gestured to the staircase down the hall as she hung up her coat above her boots.
 He figured she was cold from being outside, and it wasn’t going to hurt anything for them to go up to his room, “I guess…as long as Bruce is quiet.” El nodded in reply and picked up her overgrown puppy. Lou shook his head at her, hinting at a smile. He crept down the hall and up the stairs with her in tow, until they got to his room. He shut the door and turned on a lamp.
El set Bruce down on the bed, while Lou cleared away random things from it. “What’s that?” She asked of an unopened gift bag sitting on the ground.
Lou looked to where she pointed, and his heart sank, “birthday gift from Mum. I read the letter, but I haven’t opened it yet.”
“Oh…well do it now then. While I’m here for moral support,” She knew it might be months before he got around to it if she didn’t push him. Lou gave her an annoying look but picked it up and sat down next to her.
He took out the tissue paper and removed the two items inside. The first one was an engraved picture frame with one of the last photos of him and Jay before she was hospitalized. It simply read ‘Love you always, Mum Xx’ in what was clearly her handwriting. He smiled at it before setting it down gently on his dresser and picking up the other gift. It was a flat silver circle with an inner an outer ring, hung from a ribbon. The inner circle had a teddy bear holding a gift etched into it, while the outer one read ‘Baby’s first Christmas 2016’. He blinked back tears as he showed it to El. “She has one of these for all seven of us. And everyone’s is different, even Daisy and Phoebe’s. They were some of her favorite ornaments, she always talked about getting one for Freddie.”, he said it solemnly, leaning against her shoulder without thinking.
El squeezed his hand gently and set the trinket down next to the photo. She went to kick the bag aside but noticed something white in the tissue paper and picked it up for Lou to see. It was a Polaroid of all things, from Jay’s wedding. “Is that us?” Eleanor asked, even though she knew it was her because she remembered taking the photo.
It was while everyone was still getting ready and somehow the bridesmaids had found themselves running around barefoot as they finished up. Sophia had come to help her fix her hair, and brought Liam with her, who had brought Niall, and before she knew it all of One Direction was in the house and her hair still hadn’t been fixed. Someone was taking Polaroids for fun and had gone to grab one of Louis and Liam after he first walked in. Joke was on that photographer, because Lou had called her over, which of course led to Liam calling Sophia over, and then Louis told Zayn and Perrie they may as well join, which led Niall and Harry to sarcastically complaining about not being included. Louis had told them it was a couples only photo, and they needed a date, which they responded to by waving over Daisy and Phoebe, also barefoot and dresses still untied, and putting the girls on their backs.
The end result had been a set of laughing twins on the backs of Harry and Niall with linked arms and ridiculous facial expressions on one end and Zayn and Perrie looking relatively normal on the other end. In between that mess was Louis holding El’s waist and kissing her on the cheek while she looked slightly to the side, bursting with laughter at Sophia who was standing on her tiptoes in her black dress, trying to be as tall as El in her bare feet while Liam had covered half his smile, trying to hide his laughter at Soph’s attempt to be taller.
Louis took the photo from her after studying it, wondering why his mum had included it. He turned it over where the back of it had written in sharpie, ‘Louis, never stop making people smile. :)’. He looked at El, “that is definitely us.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. The photo only stirred up more feelings, although not all of them were bad.
“Can I borrow a sweatshirt?” El asked out of the blue once the silence got to be too much. Her sweater felt tight and uncomfortable now.
“Yeah, I’ll grab you one”, he exhaled heavily as he set the photo down and pulled one of his drawers open, surrendering the warm fleece. “Did you want one of the guest rooms?” He turned to pet Bruce while she changed.
El pulled her sweater off and unclasped her bra, before discarding that as well. She pulled on his warm sweatshirt and scooted back, “I’m fine here.”
“You want to sleep in my room? As in….” Louis was confused.
El rolled her eyes, “I’ll sleep with you. Wait not like that, I didn’t mean-”
“I got it,” he cut her off, understanding her meaning. Bruce stayed curled up at the end of the bed as he went to lay beside her, taking the Polaroid with him to examine it further.
She put a hand on his arm out of habit, “You alright?”
Louis shook his head. “I know that was probably one of the happiest days of her life, but it’s definitely in me own top three. I got to walk down the aisle with you. And nobody was fighting, not the band or my siblings, or…us”, he tilted his head slightly.
“You really want to do this right now?” El turned on her own side to face him, leaning on her arm, “talk about us?”
“You say it like it’s such a bad thing”, his tone didn’t convey any particular emotion, besides the grief he was clearly carrying in general.
“Not bad, per say…. just doesn’t do anybody a lot of good. Reminiscing about a girl you used to be in love with,” Eleanor stated like it should be obvious.
Louis raised an eyebrow at her as if she had just told him something completely inconceivable, like the sky turning green. He took one of her hands and looked straight at her, “Eleanor, I didn’t used to be in love with you… I still am.”
El blinked back a tear and looked at their hands instead of back at him, “You promised… no more lies.” She didn’t ever want to risk having her heart shattered again.
Louis wasn’t holding back his tears as they slid down his cheeks. “I’m not lying. You’re my girl, Eleanor,” El tried to look anywhere but at his eyes. “I know I fucked up, and got really lost the last two years, in too many ways to count, but I promise I’m not lying about this,” he pleaded with her.
El let the tears fall down her face. “Why did you call me?” She asked through her tears, swallowing thickly. She stared at their fingers, still laced together between them.
“Because”, Louis choked out, “because you’re my family. Nobody can ever be you, which means no one can ever understand losing her the way you would. You don’t treat me like some…broken, fragile thing. And because…maybe, I missed you.” He blinked hard and wiped at his eyes with his sweatshirt
“Maybe?” El finally met his eyes.
“No. Not Maybe. I did miss you. Shit, El. I missed you so much”, it was like a million emotions came flooding back in one second.
El wiped at her own tears. She crept closer to him, feeling her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She lost herself in the ocean of his eyes.
“I missed you too,” she whispered.  She wasn’t sure why she admitted to that so freely, but she knew with every part of her that it was true.
Louis didn’t stop to wonder if her reply was genuine or second guess her, at least not with words. He just gave her a half smile and squeezed her hand gently, “Yeah?”
El nodded and pushed her palm against his so he fell on his back and pressed her lips to his. Her thought process was completely gone at this point. She had meant to be gentle and quick, but before she knew it, his other hand was tucking a stray hair behind her ear as she found the familiar taste of cigarettes and some expensive whiskey he must have been drinking earlier and him. She surrendered all her oxygen to it, kissing him as they both cried silent tears.
Lou wanted her back the second she pulled away to breathe, but he decided he could definitely settle for her body pressed to his as she curled around him and rested her head on his chest. He swallowed and found his tears finally subsiding as he wrapped his arm around her. “I can’t lose you too, not again.”
El didn’t look at him to argue or try to declare her love enough to convince him she wasn’t going anywhere. She didn’t have the energy or the motivation to do any of that. She simply snuggled closer to him and ran her thumb over his where they knotted together. “You won’t,” she stated simply, glancing at the clock reading eleven fifty. “Merry Christmas,” she said sleepily. And then her eyelids were getting heavy as she wrapped her body around his and shifted most of her upper bodyweight onto him.
He yawned under the comforting pressure of her head tucked beneath his chin and her chest against his abs, one arm wrapped lazily around him.  Eleanor drifted off with her nose tucked to his shoulder. Louis’ breathing finally became slow and even as he listened to her breathe and smelled the same perfume that had been a constant for almost four years of his life. Bruce came and laid beside them. This was the furthest thing from happily ever after as their tear stained faces dried, but there was no denying it was love. It didn’t matter how many mansions he bought, or how hard he tried to escape his feelings for her, she was his home.
“Merry Christmas, Eleanor, I love you,” he whispered in the darkness before sleep finally found him.
 A/N: Please like and comment! Title from “First Time” by Ellie Goulding and Kygo
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boogiewrites · 6 years
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Don’t Call Her Annie 11
Title: Dancing & Domesticity
Characters: Jim Hopper x Reader (OFC)
Word Count: 2500+
Summary:  Annette Horowitz is Joyce’s younger sister. After she finds out Will is missing, she finds herself crashing back into Hawkins to do everything in her power to help, driven by a need to prove herself. After a failed attempt at sacrificing herself for her loved ones, will a near death experience be enough for her and Hopper to admit what’s really going on between them?
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 12
You can check out my other work on My Masterlist.
Warnings/Tags: Fluff. Domestic vibes. Feelings (insert Crowley gif here). Slow burn.Tagged folks are at the bottom, if you’d like to be added or removed, just leave a reply and I’ll see it!
Any positive feedback or messages are appreciated. Thanks!
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MAY
Jim started dropping off El instead of staying. You could feel him grow more anxious the longer he stayed, the closer you let your bodies get. The longer it went without you talking about your moment, the more the tension grew. You found yourself missing him. 
But without Jim there you got to drink and dance more, which was what you wanted out of girls night originally anyway.
You build the knowledge base that Jim has given El of dancing. Which surprises you. You remember him dancing when he was younger, but that wasn't something you'd expect the big man to keep up with. You let her watch MTV, rated R movies and answered any questions she had that she couldn't ask Jim. You were always dancing when he would pull in to pick her up. She'd light up at the sight of him most nights. She grabs her bag and bounds out the door after her polite goodbyes. He had taught her good manners.
He watches the two of you dancing in the living room as he pulls up every time now. He knows you'll switch the music after you lock the door behind El and pour yourself another drink. If he was lucky you'd have an outer layer he'd get to watch you slink off to the beat of a song he couldn't hear. He gets to watch you dance as he pulls away. It was a small thing he was allowing himself to indulge in.
One night he finds himself stalling longer than usual. He'd had a particularly rough day, trying not to share that information with El on his face as she sits next to him in the car.
"I like watching her dance too." El interrupts his time-killing fidgeting.
"Wh-Huh?" he turns his face fast towards her, she's looking at him with big honest eyes.
"Ann." she nods, looking back to you through the window. "She's a good dancer. I like watching her too." she elaborates. He stutters, surprised at her words and the fact that she noticed.
"Yeah. She uh, she is." he says gruffly, trying to recover his indifferent expression.
"If you like watching her, why don't you come inside to dance with her?" she asks, her face indifferent.
"Well, kid, I don't know if she'd want me to do that." he lets out a small laugh as he moves to grab the gear shift.
"She would." she nods again at him. "She says she misses having someone tall and handsome to dance with." El continues, looking back to you again for a moment before moving back to the cabin of the car. "You are tall and handsome. So she would like that." she says flatly, making him laugh out loud, she jumps at his response.
"I'm handsome?" he laughs, it shakes his shoulders and he ruffles her hair. "Where on earth did you hear that one, kid?" he asks, turning in the driveway.
"Ann." she says looking out the window not realizing what she'd given away.
JUNE
You lazily reach over the side of the couch to pick up the ringing phone. You're deep in a book and don't even bother closing it to answer, your eyes finishing the last sentence before you speak.
"Horowitz." you answer flatly.
"Hey Ann." you hear his voice trial slightly on your name.
"Hey hun, what's going on?" you ask casually.
"A lot. Actually." your eyes go a bit wide in concern, but he soothes your nerves almost immediately. "No, not like that." he lets out a small breathy laugh because he could imagine your face on the other end of the line. "I'm going to be out of town with work and I need to call in a favor." he asks reluctantly.
"Uh huh. I see." you answer, "It'll cost you but I might be willing to help." you grin, finally shutting the book and concentrating fully on the conversation.
"Well, it's a big favor. So I will in fact, very much owe you after this." he chuckles.
"Stop making me worry and just tell me." you say with a soft laugh. Since when was he the dramatic one?
"Alright." he clears his throat. "I need you to watch El for me." he says, his voice confident but reserved.
"Jim, that's nothing! When do you need me? You wanna bring her to Joyce's or?" you ask, moving your hand in explanation to no one.
"No I mean at the cabin." he says lower.
"Oh." you say, your mouth remaining in the "O" shape as your eyes move around the room.
"Yeah I'll be gone for two days and I really don't want her alone that long." you hear the love for her in his voice. Your lips pout at the feeling it gives you.
"I think I'm starting to catch on to why this is a big favor." you say lower. So staying confined in his cabin, with his daughter, taking care of her, being very...domestic. You were not surprised he remembered your conversation that well from the night you agreed to stay, but it touched you in a way that made you want to do any favor he asked. You weren't used to people taking your feelings into account first when building relationships before. Until you'd come back home. Here people listened and cared. You get a funny pain in your chest when you dwell on it too long.
"Yeah." he draws out the word. "I don't want to push any weird unspoken boundaries or anything, but if you would stay with her I would really, really-" you cut him off.
"Save the sales pitch, Jim. I'll do it." you say as if it's nothing. There was a moment of silence on the line.
"That..." you hear him exhale. "Thank you so much, Ann you have no idea what this takes off my mind." you can practically hear his shoulders relax in his tone.
"You'll still owe me. Big time. But you know I'll never pass on an opportunity to have the upper hand on you." you give a soft laugh into the receiver. You suppose you were looking forward to the challenge. Time to play house for a few days.
Since El was still on the down low, for the time being, you have secluded to the cabin without Hopper around. Being alone taking care of a kid you were responsible for had been a living nightmare of yours. And look at you now. She was such a polite, quiet kid that you didn't have much trouble out of her. You asked her what she wanted to do and you did it. You played good cop while the bad cop was out of the house. You'd decided to indulge her with rom-coms, nail polish and answered all her questions along the way. You'd read to her and she to you. You'd start board games you didn't read the rules to, making up your own and ended up not finishing, losing many pieces over the span of three days, you'd deal with the consequences later, right now you just had to get her to bed one last time.
He see's your bike tucked away on the side of the house out of the elements. He quietly pads his way to the door, unlocking the door quietly as it was very late already. He was supposed to be back tomorrow but drove home tonight instead of waiting. He looks around and see's no one, but the lamp in the bedroom is on. He takes off his outer layers, getting comfortable. He sees no dirty dishes, laundry folded on the coffee table and he wonders who you must've paid to watch El instead of doing it yourself with the level of housework he notices is finished. Had you gotten her to do all her chores too? He was honestly a bit taken back by the level of thoroughness you'd approached this favor with. He walks to the kitchen, a poorly made cake sits on the counter top, two pieces cut out of it, a big sloppily draw green icing heart on the top. You must've tried teaching her to bake. He laughs as he pokes a finger into the icing, stealing a dollop. He goes to the fridge to find the grocery shopping finished and meal wrapped in foil in the center of the shelf. He shakes his head and smiles at the thought of you both cooking in the kitchen together.
He decides to check on you, he opens the door to find you curled up in a chair pulled up against her bed. She's deep asleep, you're awake, your nose buried in a book, your eyes are intently focused, your brow low. Your cheek rests on your hand, elbow on the arm of the chair. Your socks show from under the blanket you'd wrapped yourself up in. You don't notice him for a few long seconds. He sees you watching over El, having read her to sleep, still staying in the same room as her even though you didn't have to. He felt a deep shift in his chest and stomach at the sight.
As you yawn your eyes leave the book and you see his head between the door and the frame. You mouth 'hey' and take a big stretch as you quietly leave the room.
"You're back early." you whisper, shutting the door behind you after you give her one final glance.
"I just drove home instead of staying the night." he says, moving out of your way as you head to the kitchen, still stretching and yawning.
"Well, welcome back." you grin, opening the fridge and rubbing your eyes, grabbing a soda. "Food's in here for ya if you want it. " you say, moving the door with your hip and leaning against the counter.
He moves past you to get a beer, which you'd also bought. He looks you over, your hair not styled, no makeup and draws back one corner of his mouth in contemplation of the sight.
"You can stop staring. I know you've not seen me all natural and unkempt many times," you say with a small laugh, moving your hand to present yourself, your cotton shorts and a tank top. Your favorite threadbare flannel over it for modesty and to help cover the still dark scars from your encounters last year, the biggest scar across your upper thigh just peaking out beneath the hem of the mid-thigh hitting shorts. "But that doesn't mean you have to make me self-conscious about it." you smirk and shake your head at him.
"That wasn't my intention." he smiles softly at you, his eyes look like they're searching for something in the distance when he looks at you. "I actually was thinking you looked nice until you opened your mouth." you both choke back your laughter.
"That's usually how it goes." you shrug indifferently, keeping your laughter quiet to not wake El. You turn to go sit at the table.
"What did you girls get into while I was away?" he asks, sitting across from you with a grunt.
"You know, the usual. Drinking, drug trafficking, thefts under $500." you pause while he snorts at your words. "Picking up hitchhikers, introducing her to the idea of teenage rebellion against her father, taking candy from strangers," you shrug casually, "You know, the basics. All the things a young girl needs to know." you grin at him, resting your chin on your hand.
"I should've known better than to leave her with you." he narrows his eyes, a warm smile on his face at your comfortable demeanor.
"We watched movies, painted her nails, read a lot actually. She loves that. " you nod and run your finger over the table in thought, trying to recall if there was anything worth mentioning.
"And baked apparently?" he asks, motioning his head to the cake behind him. You let out a small chuckle.
"Well I made cookies, and those are fast. So she assumed baking a cake would be just as easy and she was so excited about the idea of surprising you with a cake I couldn't say no." your face goes soft at the thought.
"Yeah she gets like that sometimes." he smiles at a memory of her. "I guess I should thank you for also doing all the shopping and cleaning too." he says in a sarcastic tone, but he's really just impressed.
"I know how hot and bothered you get when I go all domestic." you get out before the low chuckle escapes you. He blushes and covers his mouth as he laughs, looking away from you. "Couldn't' pass up on the chance to exceed your expectations." you explain, a smile on your face at the red on his face.
"Well, you did. You even got her to do her chores?" he says impressed.
"Yeah, I just put on some music and danced around and helped her. Wasn't an issue at all." you speak with your hands, your face soft and unbothered. "I think we got everything." you chew your lip, looking around the cabin. "I did shopping and we swept, laundry, dishes, restocked the firewood...yeah. I think I held down the fort pretty well." you swing your head back over to him with a proud smile.
"You did exceed expectations yet again." he crosses his arms on the table leaning forward and looking you over again.
"Never get tired of hearing that." you shake your head proudly. "Thanks." you bat your eyelashes and press your chin to your shoulder sheepishly.
"No. Thank you." he points at you before reaching out and taking your hand. He slides his fingers against yours and rests them on the table top, as he looks intently into your eyes. The sudden intimate nature of the gesture catches you off guard as your mouth falls open for a second as you're obviously affected by the small touch. "Seriously." his voice drops and you lean in to match his posture. "Thank you." he says again, squeezing your hand.
"You're welcome." leaning forward and putting both your hands on his, you give him a quick peck for his sweet words. He's giving you that dumb little smile of his, his teeth just barely showing.
"I would've been a mess without you here this weekend." he almost whispers. His smooth tone makes it your turn to blush.
"You're a mess whether I'm here or not, Jim." you pick at him, your nose scrunching but your lips send a different sort of smile his way.
"Yeah, but I prefer to be a mess with you around." he squeezes your hands and pulls you closer, making you put your legs underneath you in the chair to lean on the table to be able to stretch over to him. You shake your head with a reluctance to your actions as his grin grows wider the closer you get. He closes the rest of the space between you and returns the kiss you'd given him, but thankfully this one goes on longer.
"When'd you get so sweet, Jim?" you coo at him, as he lets your hands go, as you slide back into your seat. You don't want El to wake up and see you crawling across the table to her protector. You fluff your hair and sigh at him, your defenses down.
"I could ask you the same question." he answers smugly. His words make you blush. Again.
Chapter 12 Music & Misunderstanding
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parkhabits · 7 years
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With You {Part 4}
Mark x Reader x Jinyoung Genre: Fluff/ Angst Previous Chapter
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 “Do you really need all of that Y/N” your friend asked as she watched you toss a jar of peanut butter into your already full basket, “I thought it was just us two tonight.”
 “It is,” you walked down the aisle of the grocery store searching for oreos, for some reason you thought the pairing of the two would go well together. It was Friday night and Mark was studying, so you decided to have a girl’s night in.  You checked your cell phone to see if there were any messages from Mark. Since exams had started for him you two had barely talked, let alone have seen each other. Nothing. You knew he was busy but it didn’t stop the fact that you missed him so much.
 Turning the corner towards the freezer section you grabbed a tub of your favorite chocolate ice cream and placed it into the basket along with the bags of chips, oreos and peanut butter. Lately, you’ve been eating anything that you could sink your teeth into “Oh! You know what else would be good? If we got some sushi or maybe east indian! I have a big craving for some deep fried tuna rolls and butter chicken.” Your mouth watered.
 You friend gawked at you, “Jesus Y/N, it’s like your pregnant or something.”
 You laughed as you walked toward the tills, “I’m definitely no-“ you paused, Your face turned pale and your hands went ice cold. You were late, and not just by a few days but by a few weeks. How could you not have noticed? You looked at your friend, “We need to get one more thing,” your voice was shaky as you walked towards the pharmacy aisle.  
 Back at your place, your friend gnawed on her nails anxiously as she paced your room. You walked in shutting the door behind you, the color still gone from your face as you braced your back against the door.
 “Well?” She asked nervously.
 Your head spun and you tried to force the words out of your mouth, “I’m pregnant.” Saying it out loud made it all too real.
 She walked over to you and hugged you, “Everything will be okay, you have Mark, you have both of your families and you have me.” she rubbed your shoulders to try and comfort you.
 “Mark and I are going to have a baby,” You thought to yourself. You two had always discussed your future.  Move in together, marriage, travel the world and have kids, you never expected that the order would get mixed up. You placed your hand on your belly, it didn’t matter the order, as long as you were with Mark everything would be okay, everything would work out. A happy tear rolled down your cheek as you glanced down at your belly. A jolt of excitement hit you, tomorrow when you saw Mark you were going to tell him. He’s going to be a father.
Mark and your daughter played in the middle of the field at the park where the two of you used to go. As you watched them having fun you realized that this had been what you two had always talked about way back when. You remembered lying in his arms as you watched the clouds roll by, Mark would tell you that he wanted to come to the park on summer days with your future children, he wanted to have picnics, fly kites, teach them how to ride a bike. You would laugh with him, enjoying the thoughts of your future together. Damn you Mark Tuan you thought to yourself, this was our dream. You watched him lift your daughter, spinning her around. You knew you couldn’t blame Mark; you were the one that kept her hidden from him. Even if he didn’t want to be with you, he could have been in her life, if you had just told him.  
 “Momma come play!” she yelled from Mark’s arms interrupting your thoughts.
 “Shall we get mommy?” Mark said kneeling on the ground and laughing.
 Your daughter climbed on his back, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Yea!”
For a short while you forgot the guilt you felt while Mark and your daughter chased you around. Eventually your daughter hopped off of Mark’s back and ran after you.
“I’ve got you!” Mark’s arms wrapped around you. You laughed as you wiggled in his arms trying to break free, “Nuh uh, you’re mine.” he chuckled his grip tightening just a bit. There was something intimate about the way he said it, that had your heart thudding against your chest, well aware of his arms around your body.
Your daughter shrieked with joy as she tried breaking Mark’s grasp around you. Mark wrapped his arms around both of you has he held you and your daughter, making monster sounds. “I’ve got the two of you now” he cackled, changing his tone into one of an evil villain. You laughed as both you and your daughter tried wiggling out of his arms causing the three of to collapse on the ground. Breathless, you turned your head to look at Mark who was also looking at you, a hand on his stomach from laughing too hard. Your daughter laid between the two of you as Coco yapped at your feet.
She looked up at the sky, “Look! That one looks like a lion,” she said point to the cloud that rolled by. Mark joined in, also pointing out familiar shapes. You looked at Mark as he pointed at the sky with your daughter, describing the shapes he was seeing, laughing and smiling. Although you’ve been back in LA for a little more than a month now, being with Mark in the familiar surroundings, had you finally feeling at home. It was in that moment where you felt your heart waiver, the pain and the guilt evident and the wall that you had so consciously built up had started to crack. I should have told him, you thought to yourself.
“We should go, I haven’t even finished running errands yet,” you said standing up, wiping the grass off of your jeans, a wave of panic overcoming you.
 Your daughter rolled onto her stomach, her mouth forming into a straight line. “I don’t want to go mommy, I want to keep playing with Uncle Mark and Coco,” she pouted.
Mark stood up too, “I have an idea. How about you go and finish up your errands, and I take her for ice cream,” he suggested.
 “Yeah! Momma, please can I go get ice cream with Uncle Mark?” Once again he caught you off guard and you didn’t know if it was a good idea or not. You looked down to see your daughter and again you found yourself giving in to those puppy dog eyes.
“Okay,” you hesitated, “I’ll meet you at the ice cream shop once I’m done.”
 Your daughter let out a cheer, running over to Mark. “Come on uncle Mark let’s go!” Mark bent down to leash up Coco and as he did so your daughter propped herself on his shoulders. 
Mark laughed, “Are you ready to go?”
 “Mmmhmm,” she said, turning to look at you, “See you later momma!” and waved.
 You watched as the two of them walked off, the sound of their laughter slowly fading as they walked further and further away. The sight of the two of them left you with a bittersweet feeling.  
“Duck your head,” Mark advised your daughter as the two of them walked into the ice cream shop, your daughter still on top of Mark shoulders. She smiled as she lowered her body, wrapping her arms tighter around Mark’s neck. The sweet fragrance of waffle cones filled the air and upbeat music played in the back ground. Mark set your daughter down and she made her way to the counter, looking at the countless flavors she had to choose from.
 He knelt down beside her, “What flavor do you want?” he asked.
 Her brows furrowed as she contemplated the choices in front of her, “Strawberry please,”
“Okay, go sit down at that table right over there,” he said pointing close to the window.
 Making his way to the counter he greeted the older lady at the till, “Hi, two strawberry cones please,” the lady smiled as she rang in the orders. Your daughter ran up beside Mark, reaching up on her tippy toes to grab the napkins in the dispenser. Mark looked down and smiled at her, she was just like her mother. He helped her by handing her a handful of napkins. Looking up at him she brightly smiled, “Thank you!” then ran back to the table where she was told to sit.
The lady smiled at Mark, “Your daughter is very cute. She looks like you,” she observed.
Mark was taken a back as he looked at your daughter. She sat at the table, laying out the napkins, her feet swinging while she sat in the chair. He couldn’t describe the feeling he felt, he should have cleared things up with the lady, “I’m not her father, I’m just babysitting.” But he didn’t, instead he looked at the lady and smiled, “No, she takes after her mom.” It wasn’t a complete lie, there was truth in that statement, deep down he wanted her to be his.
 She handed him the two cones, “Well then you are very lucky,”
 Mark smiled and thanked her, making his way back to your daughter. “Okay, one strawberry cone for you,” he said handing it to her.
 “Thank you!” she smiled, immediately digging in, “Strawberry is my favorite,”
Mark grinned at her, “Strawberry is my favorite too,”
Her eyes widened in surprise, “You like strawberry too? Mommy’s favorite is chocolate and she always teases me that my taste is like an old person,”
 Mark smiled, you would always tease him about that. He watched the way she ate it, strangely enough it was similar to the way he ate his ice cream when he was growing up. Just like the way he did it, she started by biting around the cone first then moving towards the ice cream. It was a habit you always pointed out to him because it would always end up being a big mess around his hand. 
“Were you and my mommy best friends?” she asked licking her lips, “I saw a picture of you and mommy at grandma’s house.”
 We were more than best friends, he thought to himself but he kept it simple for her, “You bet we were, your mommy and I used to come here all the time,”
A little girl and her father walked into the shop, and Mark watched as your daughter’s eyes lingered on them. She watched as the father patted his daughter’s head. She focused her attention back on her ice cream.
 The question just flowed out of him before Mark could even process, “Has your mommy ever talked about your daddy?” He didn’t know if it was right for him to be asking this.
“Mommy always tells me that my daddy would have loved me if he met me,” she replied, still engaged in her ice cream. She looked up at Mark and grinned, “Jinyoung said he’s gonna be my daddy and that he’s going to be with us forever,”
Mark’s heart softened, what could he say to that. He saw the way Jinyoung was with her, if anything that’s what both you and your daughter deserved. Although he knew that, there was a sinking feeling that formed in his stomach.
“Do you want to see a trick?” Mark asked, deciding to shift topics. He inched his chair closer and moved to a certain angle. Holding one hand over the other he positioned his hand, slowly drawing back on one hand, giving the illusion that he was separating his thumb from his other hand. He watched as your daughter’s eyes widened, almost dropping her ice cream cone.
“Again! Again!” she giggled with joy.
 You stood in the ice cream shop, a smile on your face. That was Mark’s favorite trick, remembering the countless of times that you saw him do that. You waited a minute before you interrupted them, giving yourself a moment to admire the sight of the two of them together.
 Your daughter was the first to see you out of the corner of her eye, “Mommy!” she yelled, running over to you and grabbing your hand to lead you to the table. “Look at Uncle Mark’s trick!” she said enthusiastically.
 Mark winked at you, knowing that you’ve seen it done dozens of times before but he still showed you. He tried to hide his laughter when he saw how you faked your surprise.  
“Thank you for taking care of her,” you smiled. For the first time in what felt like forever you hugged him. The embrace was brief but you could feel the warmth as his arms wrapped around you, just as they had numberless times before.He wanted to linger, keep you in his arms just a little while longer, reveling in the familiarity of the lavender perfume he loved so much.The two of you pulled away from each other, and something inside both of you roused as you look into each other eyes. Trying your best to ignore the pounding in your chest, you shied away, returning your attention to your daughter.
“Say goodbye,” you nudged.  
“Thank you Uncle Mark,” she said hugging him, she was so small compared to him, the top of her head barely reached his belly button.
He came to his senses, shaking off that little part of him that told him to hold onto you longer. “I had fun today.” He knelt down in front of her, “You can come see Coco whenever you want,” he ruffled the top of her head, disappointed that the time spent with the two of you was coming to an end. 
When you arrived home you found Jinyoung in the living room, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he read a book. Immediately he looked up and smiled as the two of you entered the living room.  “There are my beautiful ladies, how was your day?” he asked placing the book beside him.
Your daughter darted to him, immediately crawling onto his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. Jinyoung welcomed her, holding her in his arms so she didn’t fall off. “Mommy and I played with Uncle Mark and Coco today at the park, and then Uncle Mark took me for ice cream. I had strawberry and uncle Mark had strawberry too because that’s his favorite ice cream like me and then he showed us this really awesome trick where he takes out his thumb from his hand, and he says I can see Coco whenever we want. He’s so cool,” your daughter rambled all under one breath.  
 Jinyoung pinched her cheek, “Sounds like you had a fun day,”
She nodded, “Next time you have to see Coco too! Then all four of us can play together!”
 “Yes, one day we will all play together,” he nodded.  “Now come on sweetie, let’s get you ready for bed” He said lifting her, before walking out he stopped beside you and kissed your cheek, “Did you have fun today too?”  
 You smiled and nodded at him, “I did, I’ll see you two upstairs in a bit.”
 You watched as Jinyoung carried your daughter up the stairs. Tears trickled down your cheek at the overwhelming feelings that had surfaced from your day with Mark. He had spent the whole day with your daughter and he had absolutely no idea that she was his. Jinyoung was unaware that Mark was the father of your child and that you had once considered Mark the love of your life. The sound of your daughter’s laughter could be heard from upstairs, your chest pained, she had no clue that she spent the day with her biological dad. All of this was because of you. Back then you thought you were doing the best for both of you. You wanted Mark to succeed and not hold him back. Mark had asked to take a break with you in order to do that but there was also that woman before you left. You couldn’t grasp why you never told Jinyoung the truth either. Was it because the wound that Mark gave you hadn’t healed like you thought? You had to tell them, Mark, Jinyoung and your daughter. This could not be held in any longer. You could feel the guilt rip away at you with each passing day. You had to tell them before the wedding. The only question was, who do you tell first?
 You were exhausted from the day. The bride you met with for a cake design was very particular with what she requested, but could you blame her? You understood as you were in the midst of planning your own wedding as well. She wanted four tiers, roses as a center piece, she wanted chocolate with chocolate ganache covered in a vanilla fondant and the list went on. Your hand had cramped trying to write out all of her requests. You walked into your house, Jinyoung was in the kitchen using his bare hands to mix ground up meat in a bowl. 
“Hi honey,” you kissed his cheek then walked over to your daughter who sat at the kitchen table drawing. “What are you drawing sweetie?” you asked her.
“Look momma, this is me, that’s you and Jinyoung,” she explained.
“Wow, and look you even labeled who’s who,” you said, noting that she had put ‘daddy’ under the stick figure of Jinyoung. You stroked her hair, “This is a great picture, do you know what all artists do? They put their initials in the corner of the picture to show that they were the one’s who drew it.”
 “I’m gonna put my initials too!” she stated as she started writing in the corner.
 Jinyoung walked over to look at the picture, wiping his hands with a towel. His heart warmed when he saw that she labelled him “daddy”.
“Oh Y/N, I invited Mark over tonight for dinner and to watch the game,” Jinyoung said.
 “Uncle Mark is coming?” Your daughter asked with glee, “Yes! Uncle Mark is so fun,”
Your heart dropped and you tried to conceal the sudden change in expression. You had decided that you needed to tell Jinyoung first, then hopefully find the right moment to tell Mark. But you didn’t know how to tell either of them. “Hey honey, sure you can invite Mark over, by the way, he’s the father of my child but he doesn’t know.” You cringed, you didn’t realize that Jinyoung and your daughter would grow close to Mark.
Mark walked up the steps to your house. Was this weird? Having dinner at the house with the woman he felt like he still loved and her fiancée and daughter. Pull yourself together, Mark. He thought to himself. He had decided that he was going to be supportive of you. Your daughter was amazing and Jinyoung seemed like a good guy, he had missed his chance with you, he had to let go.
When you opened the door his throat went dry. God, she is so beautiful was the first thing that came into his mind. How was he supposed to be supportive when he wanted you for himself? You invited him in, leading him towards the patio, Jinyoung stood by the grill.
“Hey man, welcome. Burger’s will be done soon,” Jinyoung said as he flipped the patties on the grill.
Mark sat down taking a deep breath to relieve some of the tension he was feeling, “Uncle Mark!”  your daughter ran in, immediately moving onto his lap.
“Hey sweetie,” Mark said embracing her.
 You walked in with the condiments and set them on the table. Jinyoung placed a plate of cooked burger patties on the table and just as you were walking back into the house he gave your butt a little pat, causing your cheeks to go crimson. Mark pretended not to notice, acting preoccupied by placing a napkin on your daughter’s lap.
You walked back out handing Mark a beer and sitting across from him. You avoided eye contact, affected by the guilty feeling that was in your stomach. Jinyoung came and sat down beside you, your daughter remained on Mark’s lap.
“Tomatoes?” Jinyoung offered Mark.
“No thank you, they make my throat itch, I’m not allergic to them though, it’s weird.” he laughed.
Your daughter looked up at him, “Me too! One time I tried it in my sandwich and my throat was tickly,”
Your daughter may have looked like you but she was more similar to Mark. You cleared your throat, “Fries?” you said handing Mark the bowl.
When Mark reached for it his hand brushed yours, causing you to almost drop it but he grabbed onto it. Mark placed some on his plate and then onto your daughter’s. He thought the atmosphere was going to be awkward but it wasn’t. Jinyoung kept up good conversation, Your daughter had kept him also entertained in conversation. You however, had barely spoke to him and he wondered if he had done something to upset you. When Jinyoung and him moved to the living room to watch the game, you stayed in the kitchen. Your daughter remained by Mark’s side the entire night. He noted the pictures on your wall and mantel, there were pictures of you and your daughter, pictures of Jinyoung and your daughter then pictures of all three of you. You walked into the living room handing Jinyoung another beer.
“So how many more innings?” you asked looking at the television screen.
 “This is basketball honey, not baseball.” Jinyoung laughed pulling you onto his lap. You flushed, glancing towards Mark but his eyes remained on the screen. “I’m glad that we met because Y/N knows nothing about sports,” Jinyoung said to Mark as he laughed.
 You hit him in the knee, “I know a little! Kobe Bryant was one of the highest paid basketball players,” you quoted.
 Mark smiled to himself, you only knew that because he had quoted that to you so many years ago. Jinyoung pinched your cheek, “You’re so cute,”
Your daughter let out a yawn as she snuggled up against Mark’s arm. “Come on sweetie, I’ll take you to bed.” Jinyoung said to your daughter, moving you off his lap.
 “I don’t want to,” your daughter pouted, she clung onto Mark’s arm.
 “It’s time to go to bed,” you said sternly.
 Your daughter yawned, “Can Uncle Mark be the one to tuck me in?”
 Jinyoung walked over to her and tried to lift her, “Uncle Mark is watching the game, come on I’ll take you,”
 “No! I don’t want you. I want Uncle Mark!” she yelled, her crankiness apparent.
You should have scolded her for raising her voice and talking to Jinyoung like that but her words stung you. Mark made eye contact with you then cleared his throat, “It’s okay, I can tuck her in.” Jinyoung stood where he was while he watched Mark lift up your daughter, she rested her head on his shoulders as he made his way up the stairs.
 You walked over to Jinyoung and wrapped your arms around him from behind, knowing that he must have felt a little hurt. He turned around and hugged you, resting his chin on top of your head.  “Is this how it’s going to be when she grows up and gets a boyfriend?” he chuckled.
You smiled up at him and kissed him, “I hope not,” you gave him one more kiss, “I’ll go do the dishes,”
 Her room was light pink, her sheets were the characters from Tangled and on the ceiling there were glow and the dark stars. Mark sat beside her on the bed, adjusting the blanket around her.  She smiled up at him, “Thank you Uncle Mark,” she said snuggling her head into the pillows behind her. Mark smiled at her, and moved the hair away from her face. Glancing beside him he grabbed the drawing that laid on the nightstand.
 “Did you draw this?” he asked.
 She nodded, “I drew it today, that’s me, that’s mommy, and that’s Jinyoung. I wrote daddy under his name because he’s gonna be my daddy,” she smiled up at him.
Mark’s heart sunk a little, but he smiled at her, “and what’s this?” he said pointing to the corner of the page.
“Mommy said that all artists put their initials on their drawings. Those are my initials, see that’s my first name, and that’s middle name and then my last name. But mommy says my last name is going to change to Park soon. Just like Jinyoung’s” she said with glee.
Mark looked at her initials, “What does your middle initials stand for?” he asked out of curiosity.
 “Yi-Eun,” she clarified, “Mommy says it’s named after my daddy. My real daddy,” she whispered.
Mark froze. Her words echoed throughout his mind. He looked at her, his body trembling as the realization hit. It can’t be.
~ Lea
Ah! This was a long one but I hoped you enjoyed. Get ready for part 5, my heart can’t take it. 
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The Little Princess: Chapter 3
A/n- Okay. I know the story has had kind of a slow start, but I promise it will pick up in the next couple chapters. A lot of the stuff about the labor was from personal experience, minus the back labor. Thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that. I’m sorry if anything else is incorrect! I’ll put together a masterlist for this story at some point today. Also, I tried to make this chapter fluffier. I think I did pretty well… As always, let me know what you think! Love, Alyson
Word count: 1,833
Warnings: Angst in the beginning, major baby feels, BABY FLUFF (I get baby fever super easily, so I felt like this needed a warning!), medical talk and labor (nothing graphic)
Chapter summary: Reader makes a hard decision regarding Dean; Mary makes her entrance into the world.
Characters: Reader, various OFCs (including baby Mary!)
Italics indicate someone on the other end of the phone and internal thoughts.
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
“Good night, sweet girls.”
“Good night Tori.”
After she left, your mind started racing again. You picked up your phone to call her back in here, but instead, you dialed another number. Not entirely on purpose, but not exactly by accident either…
“Y/N?” The voice was barely a whisper, but you had heard it.
You breathed out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding as you felt a warm gush between your legs.
“Dean…”
You couldn’t breathe. Had you really called him? And your friggin water just broke! What the hell was happening?!
“Princess I know you’re there. I can practically hear the panic from here. Please…just talk to me…what’s going on? I’ve been so damn worried about you. I thought…when we couldn’t get a hold of you…I thought something…happened. Please, just tell me you’re alright, and if you never wanna speak to me again that’s fine. I just need to know you’re okay Y/N…”
You couldn’t think. He deserved to know that you were at least okay. “I’m fine Dean. Great actually. Just had a few drinks, and must’ve dialed you out of habit. I’m sorry I worried you, but this was the only way for me to make things work. I couldn’t really get out if I was still talking to you and Sam all the time could I? If you’re ever near Orlando, and not working a case, feel free to look me up. I’m just outside. I lo-”
“Please don’t say that. I can’t handle you saying that before you tell me goodbye. It may be selfish of me, but I’m trying here. You left, Y/N. And you took my heart with you. So please don’t say that unless you are coming home, or want me to come to you. If that’s what you want, I’ll leave right now. Sammy will be fine on his own, and you and I can have the whole apple pie life together…”
“Dean…I…” You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the words about to come out of your mouth. “I wasn’t going to say I love you. Because I don’t. I never have. I was going to say I love that you and Sam care enough to worry. Like I said, if you’re ever near Orlando, look me up. But I’m out, so don’t you dare bring trouble around. Got it? Goodbye Dean Winchester.”
“Y/N plea-”
You hung up. You would have broken down if you had listened to what he had to say. You could feel the tears streaming down your face, but it was like you were completely detached. You couldn’t feel the overwhelming sobs racking your body, or hear the gasping breaths you took in between the sobs. You had just ripped his heart out. The man you loved. Possibly the only man you’ll ever love…
A sharp pain through your belly reminded you that you needed to get to a hospital.  You tried to calm yourself enough to gather a few things you knew you would need, but you couldn’t see through the tears and the searing pain of the contractions. You gave up, knowing that Tori would grab some things for you before she came to see you. You grabbed your phone as you sat back down on the bed and dialed 9-1-1.
“911 what is your emergency?”
“I-I’m in la-labor. M-my water just b-broke!” You were still sobbing and could barely stutter out the words.
“Okay sweetie. I need you to take a couple deep breaths for me. You can do this. The less oxygen you have in your system, the more it’s going to hurt, and the more you’ll panic. Just listen to my voice; help is on the way. Is there anyone else there to help you?”
You knew she didn’t mean anything by it, but it was a painful reminder of what you had just done. “No I-I’m alone. I don’t have anybody.” That wasn’t entirely true, you had Tori. But you didn’t want her to see you like this.
“Alright honey, that’s okay. You got me. My name is Delilah. I’m gonna stay on the phone with you until your help arrives. They should only be a few minutes. Can you tell me your name and how old you are?”
“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. I’m 25.”
“Okay great! Perfect age for a perfect baby. Matt and Leo are going to be pulling up any minute. Is your door unlocked?”
You had to think about it. You didn’t remember hearing the deadbolt click when Tori left. “I’m not sure, to be honest. But there is a spare buried in the flower pot to the right of the front door. It’s on the left side, closest to the handle. About an inch down. It’s in a bulky black box, they can’t miss it.”
“You are so smart! Most people keep them on top of the door frame. I had to move mine when I was pregnant though. My big self couldn’t stretch up that far!”
You heard a knock at the door, and then someone calling your name. “Miss Y/N? My name is Matt. I’m an EMT, and I’m here with my partner, Leo. We’ve come to help. Can you tell us where you are?”
“Delilah they’re here!” You pulled the phone away from your face for a moment. “I’m upstairs!” you called. “Master bedroom! To the left of the stairs!” When you heard heavy footfall on the stairs, you turned your attention back to Delilah. “Thank you so much Delilah. I feel so much better. Thank you for getting me help.”
“You are so welcome, sweet girl. You take care now, and Matt and Leo will take great care of you and that precious baby. They’ll get you to the hospital. Good luck mommy! You’re gonna do great. Bye Y/N.”
“Bye Delilah.” You hung up just as the EMTs came walking into your bedroom with a stretcher. They quickly got you loaded up and into the ambulance. As they took off, Matt began taking all your vitals. Without Delilah as a distraction, you began feeling the pain of the contractions again. Matt was kind enough to give you his hand to squeeze. After what felt like hours, you made it to the hospital. The whole ride there, Matt had held your hand and told you what a great job you were doing. Several nurses and a doctor rushed forward as they wheeled you into the hospital.
“This is Y/N Y/L/N. She’s 25 years old, 39 weeks pregnant. Water broke about 20 minutes ago, but complained of a bad backache all day. I think she was having back labor, from what she described. Contractions are about 3 minutes apart. BP is a little elevated, but not abnormal for a woman in labor, normal temp, and baby’s heartbeat sounds great.”
He gave your hand one last squeeze. “This is where our adventure ends dear. You’ve done so well! You’re in fantastic hands here. They’re gonna take great care of you.”
“Thank you Matt. And you too Leo.”
30 minutes later and you were finally in a room of your own. The doctor on call told you that you were too far dilated to start an epidural, so you would have to do a natural birth. Son of a bitch.
One of the nurses, Carrie, brought you some ice chips. “You’re my only patient, so I can stay in here with you if you’d like.”
“That would be nice actually. I don’t have anyone else to be here and…I’m really scared…”
“Not a thing to be scared about love. You are gonna be just fine. And soon, you’ll get to meet that beautiful little girl of yours! Do you have a name already?”
You could feel the next contraction coming on, and you knew she was trying to distract you. “Mary Grace. After both her grandmothers.” You ground the answer out from between clenched teeth. You were doing your best to breathe through the pain, but Chuck did it hurt!
“Ooowhee! That was a strong one honey. Let’s give you a check and make sure you’re still progressing.” As she checked, she let out a chuckle. “I’m gonna go get the doc. It’s time to have us a baby!”
You felt your face pale. I can’t do this. I’m a hunter, not a mother! I’m not suitable to raise this child. She’ll always be in danger… What if-
The doctor coming in broke your thoughts. “Alright! I hear it’s time to push. Are you ready to meet your daughter Miss Y/L/N?”
Apparently Carrie saw the look on your face and recognized it. She was immediately by your side and taking your hand in hers. “Shhh sweetie, you can do this. You are not alone. You got me and Dr. Price and her lovely team too. We’ve got you. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to you. I know you’re scared, and that’s okay. Every mom is, no matter how many times they go through this. It comes time to push and they panic. It’s okay though. Don’t you worry your pretty little mind. We got you.”
The older woman was so comforting. You still couldn’t control the tears and borderline hysterical sobs that were ripping through your chest, but she stayed with you. She stroked your hair and held your hand, telling you to squeeze if you needed to.
Dr. Price looked at you. “Alright Y/N, next contraction, I need you to give me a biiig push. Okay?”
You could only nod your head in response to the woman. You felt it coming, and got ready to push, just like she said. Carrie gripped your hand and kept telling you how awesome you were doing. 15 minutes later, she was handing you your little girl.
The hysterics had subsided mostly; now you were just sobbing with joy. Mary was so perfect. She had Blond hair, and the tiniest little button nose. Bright pink lips, and quite the set of lungs. After a few minutes of you talking to her, she calmed down enough to actually look at you. Your heart skipped as you saw her eyes. Bright green. Just like her father. You saw him in every feature after that. She shape of her ears, the shape and color of her lips, the way her eyebrows moved. You knew it was slightly ridiculous, but it hurt so much. She looks so much like him…
Carrie took Mary to get her weight and length, and have Dr. Price sign all the documents. The moment she put Mary back on your chest, your heart fluttered and your baby stopped crying. Like she already knew who you were. You were sure that there was no way your heart could be any more full with joy.
“Welcome to the world, Mary Grace…”
As you sat there feeding your daughter for the first time, you felt at peace for once. Like this is where you belonged. You knew somehow, everything would be okay.
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