always so ready to scream about meronia... 5 random headcanons for them, i beg of you

OMG YES ok it was hard what five to pick and this is gonna be long winded but fuck it I'm excited lol also I apologize in advance if this is senseless rambling I am not a very articulate person 😅

1-so I have this headcanon that Near and Mello both each have like their own little spice of PTSD or something, and they are the only ones who can kinda talk each other down in a way. I always Imagined Mello being born in Croatia during the Yugoslav wars and just living through horrendous trauma (this could be a post in itself so I'm gonna refrain because I have so many thoughts on Mello pre-wammys house but ANYWAY) and I don't really think he ever had time to process it, like he was living in a war torn country, everything he once knew, his family, everything blown apart and all of sudden he's at a prestigious secret orphanage for geniuses in England. So he kinda just buried it and didnt look back and dedicated everything to making L proud hoping that would be enough to make it go away but obviously it's not and so sometimes when he hears firecrackers or a siren or even one of Matt's videogames it fucking SENDS him and one day Near catches Mello hyperventilating in the hallway and Near shows him a breathing technique and breathes with him till he stops and Mello fucking hates him cause it works and it's something he uses the rest of his life and he thinks of Near.  Near only knows the breathing technique cause he also gets panic attacks but what gets Near the most is the nightmares. The nightmares send him into thrashing fits but the worst is the sleep paralysis. It would happen one of the first few nights when they slept together and Mello would stroke his cheek or hold his hand and talk him through it or recite a passage from a book, anything to distract him. Near never says what the nightmares are about or what he sees during sleep paralysis and Mello never pushes it.They don't know what the other went through but there is a mutual unspoken understanding and I feel like that is the closest they ever get to affection 

2-I feel like this is a really unpopular headcanon and not really accurate but idc I think Near secretly resents L. Idk why but I just like this headcanon. I picture Near to be a bit of a bitter person and I think he blames Mello's hatred for him on L though he'd never admit it  and tbh I don't think Near had any desire to become L at all I think he was apathetic towards everything at first it wasn't until Mello came along that he started feeling alive. Near never cared about being L. He cared about the game he and Mello played. I also think mellos admiration of L would just solidify Near's disdain and I would imagine they've gotten into a fight or two about the integrity of L's character. 

3-I think both would deny it but they can make each other laugh. Like genuinely laugh. I think they would fight it but every once in a while like on a full moon or some shit Near would make a snarky comment at someone or Mello would make a face behind rogers back and before they could stop themselves it would come out. They are mortified at how the others laughter makes there heart skip a beat and neither would admit to this under torture.

4-I think Mello is one of the only people who knows Near is secretly a disturbed basket case and hear me out lol. Mello is probably the closest Near has ever gotten to someone and this is already turning into a thesis so I'm not gonna get into my headcanons for Near pre wammys but ya boy has ISSUES. Like one day Mello would catch Near doing something wild like trashing A's old room (idk I have a headcanon that A and B's room stayed like mausoleums at the orphanage and it was like a ghost story) and Mello would get the blame for it cause who would fucking believe him if he said Near did it. So he gets grounded for a week and Near slips him chocolate under the door as a silent apology. 

5-Linda and Roger put together a funeral for Mello and Matt. Near did not attend. 

 I'm sorry this turned into a Ted Talk without almost any punctuation, but it feels good to scream about these two thank you loll