#also i gave him glasses! because actor wears them hehe
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cw: blood
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i’ve peaked a comedy
#fnaf#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#william afton#my art#i should stop drawing him just to not make high expectations for his design in movie itself#I JUST STILL SO INSANE#don’t blame me#JDKSKDMFKSKSKD#also i gave him glasses! because actor wears them hehe#merry christmas by the way
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Blondie Goes Latin (1941)
2:27 AM, Thursday, 12 December
Y’all ready for this, buh buh buh bah bah bah ok let’s watch a Blondie.
2:28
Welp, in looking this one up to watch it, I’ve spoiled for myself that this one features Dagwood dressed as a woman. Let’s see how I feel about that once it’s in context.
2:31
Watching it on Prime again for better picture quality, but I’m not falling for their tricks a second time so I skipped the 4 minutes and 20 seconds (nicenicenice) of inexplicable preview footage spoiling the rest of the movie.
Although I’ve already spoiled that Dagwood goes Dragwood so who cares anymore.
2:44
GOT MY SNACKS LET’S GET STARTED
2:46
The usual theme song’s back, and it’s just occurred to me: The lyrics go
“Life with us is fun and crazy,
Baby Dumpling, (read: Alexander Hamilton Bumstead) us and Daisy
What a family
Incredible
Bumstead-able”
Now I know that later on, Cookie Bumstead, their new daughter, will be introduced. I wonder if they adjust the theme song when that happens.
2:56
Starting off strong with a pretty basic continuity error. Dagwood, with shaving cream on his face, runs outside, realizing he’s packed his razor into his luggage which he gave to the cab driver. As soon as he’s outside, the shaving cream is gone from his face.
HOLY SHIT I SPOKE TOO SOON. It wasn’t a bad continuity, it was a good visual gag! He runs into the postman, as per usual, and when they get up, the shaving cream has swapped over onto posty’s face!
Apologies to Blondie Goes Latin. They did a good and I assumed it was a bad because I guess I don’t think highly enough of the standard of production in the Blondie film franchise.
3:01
AND they followed it up with a SECOND solid visual gag! The posty puts his hat and mailbag on Dagwood, goes into the doorway, and runs towards Dagwood, either to get the shaving cream back onto the right face or just out of pure vitriol and malice. He misses, we hear him crash, and the camera cuts to the cab, which is flipped on its side.
That got a full laugh out of me.
3:04
AnD ThEn ThE ShAvInG CrEaM swaps over to the CaB DrIVeR’S FaCE!!!
3:06
AHB*: Mommy, is Mr. Dithers going with us too?
Blondie: Of course, dear, he’s taking us along as his guests.
AHB: Why?
Blondie: Because he needs a rest.
AHB: Why doesn’t he take Mrs. Dithers?
Blondie: Because Mrs. Dithers needs a rest.
AHB: I don’t get it.
Man they always go so hard with the infidelity angle in these fuckin’ flicks.
*Alexander Hamilton Bumstead
3:08
There’s a character Wikipedia tells me is named Manuel Rodríguez, played by one Tito Guízar. So this could be some more (relatively) positive representation, like that guy in Servant Trouble.
3:12
Manuel Rodríguez fuccin immediately seducing Blondie. Nah yeah this is accurate representation.
3:20
This movie got me AGAIN, this time with a kinda surrealist goof. So they’ve found out that Dagwood has to stay behind to close a deal, but Blondie, AHB and Daisy are going with Dithers. Dagwood and Blondie start crying at the thought of being apart. Daisy cries, and how they got that shot I’ve no idea.
At first Dithers is telling them not to act that way, but then he starts crying too. Then Dagwood meets a man at the door who’s there to tell them “All ashore that’s going ashore,” and HE starts crying too. And then as the ship’s whistle sounds, it cuts to this:
3:24
Man and another good goof, Dagwood looks at Blondie and AHB and says he’s gonna shut his eyes so he can remember them just as they are now while they’re apart. Then he runs out the door, immediately crashing into someone.
Is this movie genuinely funnier than usual or am I just in a better mood?
3:28
‘Nother laugh. Dagwood fell while carrying a bunch of drums (in a series of misunderstandings that will eventually lead to him in Dragwood playing the drums with a band that the film is currently introducing, and which is actually kinda interesting and likeable so far) and slid clear across like 20 feet of floor.
3:30
There’s a singing quartet in the band that sounds exactly like the Let’s All Go To The Lobby song.
3:32
The female lead of the band is called Lovey Nelson, and I think I’m in love with her. She’s sassy af.
3:34
I think Michael Jackson might’ve plagiarized some lyrics off Blondie Goes Latin.
3:36
Upon the development that Dagwood’s playing the drums in this, I considered noting that it would be harder to edit that into a Whiplash parody than that one I did with Hop on my YouTube channel.
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But then Dagwood did an intense drum solo for like 45 seconds and now I’m not so sure.
3:44
ALERT, ALERT, SENTIENT DOLL, I REPEAT, THERE IS A HAUNTED DOLL IN THE MOVIE, SOMEONE CALL A PRIEST, OR ELSE JUSTIN MCELROY, EITHER WILL DO
3:45
So you’re saying that you don’t have rhythm.
BUT LISTEN WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT THERE-
This Blondie is a musical and I’m down.
3:47
Oh God they’re holding on the doll for soooo loooong
3:58
Alright sun’s getting real low, (Future Euan note: wow, great Avengers: Age of Ultron reference, past Euan.) by which I mean it’s 4 am and I’m gonna go to bed and finish this in the morning.
1:36 AM, Friday, 13 December
Back to it! Looking forward to this given how much I enjoyed it last night.
1:38
Dithers: Falls
Blondie: “Oh, Mr. Dithers! Here’s a drink for you.” Hands glass of water.
Dithers: Drinks, then scrunches up his face in disgust “Oh, that’s water isn’t it?”
1:42
Tito Guízar is now singing in Spanish. It’s interesting, cause it feels totally out of place. Like when Ben Platt sings at the end of the first episode of that show The Politician; it’s clearly just “This person can sing so we better let him sing.” Not so much in a bad way though. Like he’s doing what he’s good at and I like that it’s a bubble of a different culture inserted into this white suburban family sitcom I’m inexplicably exposing myself to.
1:46
This movie’s fuckin’ neat. Blondie’s listening to the song and gets sad cause she misses Dagwood, so she goes out on the deck of the cruise ship that this is all happening on. Tito Guízar follows her out, (I’m pretty sure they’re in front of a projection background) and she says she liked the song but didn’t understand a word of it, so he offers to sing it again in English. And now he is!!! I like that.
It also reminds me of that one creepy Aardman short tho.
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1:51
Oh but then Blondie starts singing with him, and it gets to a point where they’re singing simultaneously but Blondie definitely hasn’t heard the words yet. So it morphs from a realistic enough scene to musical rules where people sing at the same time when they’re on the same page.
1:53
HEY how come it hasn’t come up yet in past movies that Penny Singleton (Blondie) can sing this well? Like the intro song is basically just talking, but she can sing.
1:58
Hey, a Dagwood sandwich! DAGWOOD SANDWICH WATCH 2019 that’s what I do when those show up, right? Been a while since one of those has shown up! It, um… fuck, it actually looks pretty good I’d probably take a stab at eating that.
2:00
And the crossdressing begins. Lovey needs Dagwood to get to the orchestra and play the drums, but Dagwood knows he’ll get recognized by Blondie or Dithers or AHB. (He’s not supposed to still be on the boat.) So Lovey opens her closet and hands him a dress.
2:02
Haha, the Dagwood sandwich is actually a plot element. A steward brings it away on a tray down the hall and Blondie sees it, adding to other clues she’s gotten that Dagwood’s on board. There’s a great overly dramatic shot of the sandwich coming into focus as he walks it towards the camera.
2:05
Blondie just barrelled the lens so hard that I felt her looking into my soul.
2:07
This movie continues to be a full on musical. Blondie’s singing the same song from earlier, but without guitar-man there, just on her own sadly. I wonder if this keeps being a thing in later movies or if this is just the one musical Blondie movie.
2:11
Welp, Dagwood’s crying at the emasculation of wearing a dress.
Coooool.
2:13
I like Lovey’s singing. Ruth Terry’s the singer/actor who plays her, looks like she did a lot of movies.
2:15
The quartet had a nice little choreographed routine during this song. I liked it. I like this one you guys! Maybe you should watch it???
Never thought I’d get to that stage with a Blondie movie.
Future Euan Note: I cannot in good conscience recommend the viewing of any Blondie feature film. Statements made within a Blondie watch are subject to fits of madness and delusion.
2:18
Wow um. Blondie said to guitar-man the sentence “Will you do me a favour? Make love to me.”
I mean I talk about how hard they go in these movies with adult relationship drama, but there’s something so direct about “Make love to me.”
2:20
Blondie’s trying to make Dagwood feel bad by making a show of being involved with guitar-man.
Dagwood’s arc better end with becoming a strong independent woman who don’t need no Blondie.
2:25
Man okay but there’s an extended dance sequence and it feels so long and it’s making me want this to be over.
Penny Singleton’s a decent singer but a crap dancer.
Maybe that’s unfair actually. She’s kind of in character and needs to convey intentions and that. Not easy to do when you’re also performing a choreographed dance routine.
I just can’t stand when they play the sound of tap-dancing over an actor who’s clearly not tap dancing.
2:31
Welp. That wasn’t how Dagwood’s arc ended.
2:33
Hehe, they had a satisfying pay-off to earlier gags. First, they had Dagwood run into a steward, the way he does with the posty every movie. Then, just like posty, the steward tried running into Dagwood to get even. But he misses, goes down one of those big ole cartoon ventilation pipes, which leads him to the music hall where he shoots out a grate and penguins across the floor like Dagwood did earlier. Double pay-off.
THEN Dagwood’s being chased by sailors, so he goes down the pipe, penguins as well, as crashes into the steward a second time.
2:41
Recently, for my annual Christmas watch, I watched It’s a Wonderful Life, but for the first time I watched the colourized version. It was really weird seeing this movie I’d watched in black and white on a VHS tape on an old CRT for the first time in full HD on a big TV, and also with the extra dimension that colour lent it.
It’s gonna be some time before we’re gonna be able to do that to any of the Blondie movies, because
A) Nobody’s going to meticulously go frame-by-frame painting in a Blondie movie, and
B) I doubt somebody saved the masters, so these movies probably don’t and won’t exist in HD.
Just gotta wait for upscaling technology to advance real fast, and then for some kind of automated colourization process to get invented. But you know, once those things become possible and accessible, I’ll be on the forefront remastering Blondie.
2:46
And that’s the end of Blondie Goes Latin. An above-average Blondie, and an out-of-the-ordinary one. There were laughs-a-plenty, a crying steam whistle, a creepy-ass haunted doll, Dagwood in Dragwood, and a handful of solid musical numbers.
My Dagwood Sandwich Rating is: a really pleasant sandwich. Like a posh one you’d get at a food court when you’re on vacation. With spices and shit. And you don’t know what the bread is called but it’s not the usual kind of bread you have at home and it’s a bit tough but the sandwich is good. Hell yeah.
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