#also i KNOW they dont all literally live at HQ just pretend it was like a LOCK IN or something okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

retrievaldivision · 2 years

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comparing how we've seen dispatch operate in manga canon to the BITE model for cult identification <3

putting this all under a readmore for thorough discussions of cults and suicide . heres my meta everyone

so basically. imho dispatch operates like a cult and will grelle ron and othello need to dip asap and ut had the right idea for leaving. this is basically evidence for my theory that at some point its going to get revealed that the "higher ups" are uhhhh. fucked up actually and the squad is getting emotionally manipulated. alright lets get to it

starting off w behavioral control letsgo

"promote dependence and obedience"

-so the big thing that signifies this in canon for me is the fact that . as sascha talked about in ch 105 (#brainwashedgirlqueen) the reapers are dependent on dispatch and the higher ups for forgiveness of their sin. if they dont play by their rules theyre not getting out of punishment purgatory

"modify behavior with rewards and punishment"

-remember when grelle was gone for an arc and then came back in campania and was like haha yeah ive been on suspension . i mean. there it is. theres definitely an argument to be made here about the fact that grelle was killing random ppl and like yeah definitely wld call for uhhh not being in public However-- why i kept this in was bc like . yeah she was being suspended for doing some mass murder etc-- but she was also being suspended bc she fully left dispatch during that time. like she was off with angelina pretending to be her butler not @ hq literally in disguise and thats why will had to come get her ass in the first place. which i think should be pointed out here

"dictate where and with whom you live"

-keeping this on here tentatively bc we dont know specifics but like. HQ. i think its important to point out that they all have this building where theyre all supposed to be

"control clothing and hairstyle"

-the suit uniform swag period.

"restrict leisure time and activities"

-again pointing out saschas monologue. the part where she points out theyre all supposed to be "worked to the bone".

-in the extended version of the BITE model they also talk about weaponizing keeping a cult member busy thru tasks bc if they are so pre occupied with tasks it leaves them w less time to question whats going on and . Yeah .

moving on to informational control

"deliberately withhold and distort information"

-pointing out how in campania ron and grelle had no fucking clue who undertaker was even tho he was supposed to have been a Huge Deal while he was at dispatch. why werent ron and grelle privy to this info why did they have to hear it from ut himself . unless ur deliberately withholding shit it makes no sense as to why they shldnt know abt the guy who destroyed half of HQ even if it happened before their time

"forbid you from speaking with ex members and critics"

-this is in purple and only half credited bc the strongest example i can think is from tmbd and not the manga but i still do want to bring it up (and i think is worth mentioning bc yana did draw those bitches into the manga when talking abt deserters so) but the whole. will monologue in tmbd where hes like yeah ur name will be stricken from the records . its a little uh. yeah its coded

"divide information into insider vs outsider doctrine"

-yeah so remember when the fight was about to happen in campania and grelle was like this is shinigami business stay out of it outsider to sebastian. like literally called him an outsider. its the vocabulary.

"encourage others to spy and report on others' 'misconduct'"

-for this i am citing the entirety of management div and the fact that its a thing. it can def be argued that management is also there to intervene during like very fucked situations where just retrieval div cant handle it as we've seen will do. but also like. it does seem esp w ripper arc that management div is there to narc on ppl for not following rules etc.

-Also for this one wanted to point out that in the extended BITE model they talk abt using buddy systems so like. u arent truly alone there is always someone who can rat on u . and how thru most of the arcs w reapers present theyve been in groups of two (ron and will in circus, ron and grelle in campania, sascha and ludger in green witch, othello and grelle during the whole ut standoff). again this can also be argued that theyre there for helping purposes in terms of fights But Also. its a little coded u guys imho

moving onto thought control

"instill black vs white, us vs them & good vs evil thinking"

-going to be talking abt this again for the second point but the way that specific language is used to moralize what the higher ups r asking the reapers to do. the way that the reapers describe what theyre doing as "collecting" souls whereas demons "hunt" souls even tho they are both. Taking Someones Soul. the fact that this paints their actions in a morally better light even tho it is the same action

-also wanted to point out a moment in the training ova even tho its not manga canon bc it is worth mentioning imo. will's whole monologue when hes getting his glasses where hes like. going to be "protecting" ppls souls and all of this stuff. and that these r Glasses Of Life. all of this pure morality and saviorism the reapers are being taught to attribute to them being in dispatch. Yeah.

"use loaded language and cliches to stop complex thought"

-thinking abt the v specific terms both will (current member of dispatch) and ut (ex member of dispatch) use to describe demons when they call them "vermin" like it is the Exact Same Word that they use. its again the repeated vocabulary to other and condemn demons even though they are Both Entities Who Take Ppls Souls Away. its . hmmmm. why does this not apply to u guys.

last one!

"install irrational fears (phobias) of questioning or leaving the group"

-based on the 105 info, if u leave dispatch, u r never going to be forgiven from ur "sin." even though. we've never seen this "forgiveness" ever actually happen and none of the reapers have ever indicated that anybody they know has ever actually been forgiven. its the irrational fear of not being forgiven even though attaining forgiveness has not, as we seen, been proven to actually be a real thing

"label some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, or wrong"

-wld like to briefly point out wills monologue to ron in circus abt how having empathy is like not something that should be done

-also the whole . again with the 105 drop. the fact that dispatch is labelling having mental illness as A Sin. lol

"promote feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness"

-again going off of 105 . the whole reason they are there and working for the higher ups is bc they have killed themselves and feel the need to get forgiven for it. The Entire Model Of Dispatch Runs On Guilt

"shun you if you disobey or disbelieve"

-circling back to previous points made abt ut being a big deal and ron and grelle only finding out abt him when he literally spelled it out for them . like he was. all info of him was gone that wasnt firsthand witnessed once he deserted. also rons whole moment in campania i believe while hes talking to ryan where hes like i have no respect for ppl who meddle w death. and dispatch has rules against meddling w death.... hmm...

"teach that there is no happiness or peace outside the group"

-bringing up 105 again. there is no forgiveness outside of dispatch that is why they are still there this is the only way they can get forgiveness and presumably peace bc theyve righted their "sin"

in conclusion, the higher ups are fucked up and will grelle ron and othello are getting played <3 i do think this is going to be blatantly revealed at some point like. with everything ive talked about in this post . i do think there is foreshadowing directly pointing to this idea. and i think there will be a moment where will ron grelle and othello realize this . thanks for coming everyone

#kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji spoilers #black butler

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yamagucji · 3 years

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a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁🤲 yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

#cupid; talks!#queuepid

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starkniall · 7 years

Note

Answer them all haha

do you have a favourite sweater? idk i think it’s more a hoodie than a sweater lmao but yes it’s a disney one, with mickey’s ears and it’s kind of lilac and it’s soft and warm and i love it

what’s your middle name? paola :/

do you still talk to the first person you kissed? if u mean like, a kiss on the lips...i have never done that and i never ever will

do you get on with your grandpa`? i did :( my mom’s father was the best person i’ve ever ever ever met and i miss him so much everyday

what was your favourite cartoon as a kid? rugrats omfkg

what’s your favourite cartoon now? i dont watch them anymore tbh i dont watch tv anymore

do you read the news paper? sometimes, when things happen but it’s not a thing i dutifully do everyday nope

who was the last text you sent to ? my sister

what does the last text you sent say? ‘thanks u asshole’ lmao

if you could have any hair colour what would it be? i dont think i’d ever change my hair color tbh i dont think i’d look good in anything other than black

do you like nature documentaries? yeeeeess

what is your aesthetic? i....dont think i have one tbh....this is a very especific thing but i like concert pics where the artist looks tiny and u can see the crowd and the lights and the stage and it’s in HQ and i can set it up as a wallpaper lmao

when did you last pet a dog? like 2 minutes ago :’)

whose friend’s parents do you like the most? i dont have any friends in real life so i dont know anyone’s parents

have you ever been on a road trip? eehhhh yeah kind of? we used to go to a lil town called ‘anapoima’ and it was a 2 hour trip.....that’s it

tell me about someone you know called emma in real life? u dont find emmas in colombia so idk

are you reading a book in english class, what is it? im not taking an english class like the one you’re probably talking about but i am reading a book, well, re reading tbh, the all for the game series by nora sakavic 10000/10 would recommend

do you have a favourite aunt? yes, sorta, my aunt marta, she used to be my fave and #funfact she was the only one who could get me to sleep when i was a baby but she has her own kids now and we see each other like once a year so yeah idk

baths or showers? i have never in my life taken a bath so i’ll have to go with showers.....also i kind of dont understand how baths work??? do u just....sit there with soapy water??? how do u get the soapy water off??? with a shower??? i dont see the point of baths i have actually never seen a bathtub in my life

skiing or sun bathing? i’ve never done either of those so idk....also i hate the sun bc i get sunburnt in 2 minutes and skiing it’s basically impossible in a city where snow it’s...not a thing....so yeah

do you kill spiders? I WISH I COULD, that sounds mean but i hate spiders i know they are harmless and most of the time they are more scared than i am but i just cant physically get close to a spider, they scare me so fucking much i cant ever kill them so they always run away and i live with the endless anxiety of ‘where are they now? do i have lil baby spiders living with me now?’

have you ever made an ice pop? im not quite sure what an ice pop is so im gonna pretend it’s like...making a paleta so yeah i have

are you wearing shoes right now? nope, just fluffy socks

tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher i didnt have one

who was the last person you hugged? i havent hugged anyone in literal months so i dont remember

do you wear glasses? nope

do you have a cat? nope

do you have a favourite pair of underwear? yep

what was your last tweet? a response to niall’s knee tweet: lmaaaao this is the most me thing ever. did 20 minutes of cardio last tuesday and my knee's achey and swollen. also my hip hurts.

do you still use facebook? ehhh....kind of. to see what my high school ppl are up to i guess

do you like birds? yeah they’re cute

who was the last person you called cute? ......the birds of the question before this one? does that count? if not, probably my dog.

who was the last person that called you cute? idk it was probably years ago

how did you meet your best friend? i dont have a best friend

escalators or elevators? it depends, there are days when elevators give me anxiety so i’d go with stairs then, but there are days my knees hurt a lot so i’d go with elevators then

are you named after anyone, who? nope

what was your first url? horan-nialler lmao

autumn or winter? idk i have never been through those

do you win at scrabble? ....i have never played scrabble

put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by? slow hands by niall horan lmao go listen to it on spotify and buy it on itunes

have you ever drunk from a mason jar? what is a jason bar?

can you draw? i can try

what was your first profile picture?i dont remember lmao

favourite tshirt? dont have one

best tumblr friend? i probably dont have one tbh

when did you last run? in my cardio class last tuesday

do you like to paint your nails? not really

did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble? not smth super big that i remember

who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours? i only know by lil baby dog

have you ever been drunk? nope

have you ever done something you regret while drunk? go back to question 50

do you want to kiss anyone right now? nope. never. digusting.

do/did you like you math teacher? nope

do you often ride the bus? e v e r y d a y

do you have a fireplace in your house? nope and if i did i’d move out

are you violent when you’re angry? nope

do you cry when you’re angry? ehhh...nope, i’d have to be way too angry and even then im just quiet

favourite Harry potter book? i havent read the books, just the movies

can you remember your last dream? yep, it was more of a nightmare tbh

do you go to bed early or late? depends if u consider 3-4am late or early

do you speak a second language? yes

who was your first ever best friend? i have never had a best friend

have you ever had an operation? yep, a tooth

tell me about your favourite cousin i dont have one

do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away? nope

have you ever been in a musical? nope

do you have a porch? nope

how many times have you watched your favourite movie?like 1 million probably

what do you order at mcdonalds? idk how to say this in english so: un combo de cuarto de libra con coca cola sin hielo y papas agrandadas

do you get on with old people? yeah i’d like to think so

science fiction or romance? a romance in a sci fi universe

do you take naps? nope but i wish i could

how many classes do you/did you take in high-school? like 20

when did it last snow where you live? it has never snowed but with the weather as it is i wouldnt be surprised if it started snowing one day bc climate change it’s a real and scary thing

does it ever snow where you live? see question before this one

how many months until your birthday? 2 i think

how much charge does your computer have right now? 100%

what is your favourite disney channel movie? hsm

the city or the sea side? sea side even tho i’ve only seen the sea once in my life

what is your least favourite colour? yellow

do you have homework to do? yes my thesis lmao

are you still friends with your first best friend?

do you have/are you the gay cousin? i am the gay cousin

do you own dungarees? nope, but i did when i was like 10

do you like to play sport? nO

what was your favourite ever christmas present? a polaroid camera

how old are you? 21

what is your mum’s name? angela but in spanish so anhela lmao

do you ever use internet explorer? nope

have you ever had blonde hair? NO

is their a play park near your house? yes but it’s a scary place, u go there, u get mugged

when did you last see the person you have a crush on? i saw niall horan on the 25 of april 2014 (im kidding i dont even have a crush on niall idk what a crush is tbh)

who did you last talk to on the phone? my uncle maybe

pants or dresses? pants

do you read fan fiction? it’s all i do

what is you’re favourite blog? @dailyniall

do you write poetry? nope

drama or comedy? drama, i love angst

have you ever had a hickey? no ew

Your own question that you want me to answer is niall horan coming to colombia on 2018? he fucking better

woooooooooow that was a ride odngkjdfg lmao THANK U that was fun!

#Anonymous

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samanthasroberts · 7 years

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Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy

Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.

Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.

We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.

JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her

JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.

Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.

Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.

Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.

Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.

Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.

Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on

These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.

Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!

Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.

Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?

Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.

Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.

Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.

Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.

Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.

Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!

Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.

Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?

Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.

Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.

Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.

Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.

We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.

Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.

Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.

Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.

Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.

Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.

IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.

Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.

Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.

Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?

Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.

This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.

Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.

Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.

YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!

Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.

Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??

Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*

Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.

Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.

THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?

Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.

Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.

Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him

Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.

The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like

Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)

Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.

Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.

Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.

Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.

One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.

JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,

Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.

Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight

Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.

Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.

Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.

Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.

They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.

Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.

Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.

Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.

AKA how I feel watching this show.

Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:

Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.

Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.

JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.

Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.

Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!

Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.

Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.

Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/

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adambstingus · 7 years