#also do we all agree that varigo is touch starved? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vaelynez · 3 years

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Varigo on Affection

Hi hello, I’m writing this essay on the boys and how they handle affection. Why? Because I had a long car ride and felt like it and they’re my comfort ship. If there’s discord formatting that I missed I apologize.

Please note: these are all personal head canons, if you don’t like them that’s fine! 💕

Did I put this in discord? Yes. Does it need to be here? No. Is that going to stop me? Absolutely not!

Hugo -

Hugo tends to show his affection via physical contact, and listening to Varian but that part isn’t intentional. He doesn’t realize how much that means to Varian. He’ll usually be the one to grab Varian’s hand on walks or ask to cuddle (mostly in the beginning, as time goes on Varian starts getting more comfortable to ask for hugs and stuff. We’ll get to that later).

When he was younger he’d constantly be looking for any form of love. (By younger I’m saying like 16-the trials). He never got it in any form, parental, friendship, romantic. He’s had physical relationships and settled for that because it was something. So when he starts dating Varian he has a hard time accepting that Varian actually loves him. Hugo’s constantly putting a hand on his shoulder, grabbing his hand, wrapping an arm around him thinking that’s all he could do. He backs off when Varian is showing apprehension though, especially in the beginning because he overwhelms Varian, which I’ll talk about when we get to him.

He doesn’t take things further than that, though. He’ll grab his hand and Varian will accept and he’ll get flustered like omg omg omg omg he accepted my hand hold help. Also yes, he is a tomato at this point. Once Varian get’s past his new relationship jitters he teases Hugo for it. (In a lighthearted way, he’s not trying to shame Hugo in any way they’re just being bickering dorks).

He’s never had experience talking about his feelings, either. Most of the time Donella never asked and he didn’t have friends. He’s a very emotional person (which he grew up hating) but he never was allowed to express these emotions and buried them.

The most verbal-affection he shows is when he’s helping Varian through a bad day. When Varian has a panic/anxiety attack, nightmares, overworks himself etc. Hugo tries to help him through through words because Varian hates being touched when he’s in these moments. It scares him. He’ll also try to talk Varian through his guilt. He’s the first person to not blame him for what happened to him when it comes to the whole amber situation. He’s the first person to tell him, hey, you crossed lines but I get why you did it and you had a right to be upset.

When he joins the group, he does the same thing. Hugo knows how to act, deceive, everything he grew up doing.

As time goes on, because of he doesn’t quite know how to process his own emotions, so when he starts developing feelings for Varian he knows something’s changed but he doesn’t know what.

Over time, there’s a moment where it just clicks. He’s watching V do something where he’s in his element being the most Varian Varian can be. Maybe he’s explaining a chemical formula to Yong, I’m not sure yet aha.

So he’s watching that, and he’s just sitting there subconsciously thinking, I love him so much. Then what he’s thinking hit him and he’s like- oh whoops.

Their first kiss is in the library after the apology. They spend months (≈3) holding each other’s hands and cuddling because both of them are scared to make the next move. Though Hugo tends to kiss the top of his head, or Varian will kiss his cheek, hand etc.

Hugo’s still having troubles vocalizing his feelings, so he continues to show it through actions.

So they’re talking it out, and Hugo tells Varian he loves him for the first time (which is a huge step for him to admit, and also stuns Varian) and he’s like- I’m sorry I know I hurt you and I truly care when Varian asks if he can kiss him. Hugo get’s flustered and starts tripping over his words and is like, “I-I mean if you want to-“ so he does.

It’s after this and when they go back to Corona that their relationship starts to grow bit by bit. They start slowly working through their problems together and healing from their past traumas.

Hugo’s as patient as can be, and appreciates how understanding Varian can be. Hugo will have moments where he still feels like he’s not enough. Varian tries to help him through it the best he can.

He’s scared to tell Varian, though, because aforementioned nobody’s ever loved loved me for me. He values Varian’s friendship and isn’t honest about his feelings for a while because he doesn’t feel he’s worthy of him. But Varian’s constantly telling and showing him that he is.

In the beginning of their relationship Hugo always made the first move because of these insecurities. (While listening to Varian, of course). But Varian starts making them over time, flustering Hugo in turn. But he comes to cherish those moments because actively reminding him, no you dolt I do love you! Now have a hug! Insert angry Varian nosies.

Most of these feelings go behind the scenes, though since Hugo doesn’t know how to talk about them. He’s also afraid of being vulnerable. So part of their banter is Hugo trying to convince himself he doesn’t care (mostly in the beginning when they practically hated each other). Now it’s a staple in their relationship because Varian’s a sassy child of sass and Hugo’s an ass Hugo. I mean, it’s Varigo. 20% love, 80% actually I love hate you.

After the library they start getting closer. Especially after settling down in Corona. Though Hugo’s go-to is still contact. He’ll hug Varian at any chance he gets. Call him Hug-o. That, and he won’t ever admit this, but he loves whenever Varian will hug back. Varian hugging/cuddling him? It’s everything he’s ever needed and more.

In short, Hugo’s a touch starved asshole who loves his boyfriend and wants to cuddle 24 7. And I love him for it.

Varian -

Varian shows most of his love and affection via words. When it comes to contact, he has to trust someone for him to be able to hug them. So, instead of instantly jumping to hug someone he’ll let them know that they’re appreciated.

Because of some of the attacking from Corona before and after his pardon, as well as some of the fights he saw in prison contact scares him when he doesn’t know someone.

On top of that, none of his friend/family are overly touchy people. Besides Rapunzel. Eugene will put a hand on his shoulder or the occasional hug if somethings wrong and he’s trying to comfort him.

He didn’t grow up with anyone voicing their appreciation of him either. Especially Quirin. He spent so long trying to get Quirin to tell him he was proud of him. So when he starts dating Hugo, he tries everything to get him to understand he does appreciate and love him. He’s the first to say I love you, which was pretty early on which both terrified and meant the world to Hugo.

When they first get together and Hugo’s constantly trying to hold his hand, it scares him at first because nobody’s ever been that touchy with him. (Respectfully, Hugo backs off if Varian’s uncomfortable). They do end up talking about it and Varian asks if they can take it slow, which Hugo agrees to.

Over time he slowly starts to accept it more. He’s also very flustered when they first start showing their feelings. (Bonus, Nuru basically tells him hey I can tell from here that you love him so pls figure this out soon I cannot do this anymore. In a respectful, I’m gonna help a friend out sort of way. She knows before he does). After he starts getting used to someone showering him in affection, in a way, he starts going to Hugo. He’ll grab Hugo’s hand or initiate a hug.

When it comes to their first kiss, Varian is heartbroken because of the betrayal. But when Hugo goes into the library he apologizes, which hits a nerve Varian didn’t know he had. Nobody ever apologized for hurting him, ever. (No, that prison scene does not count as an apology, Rapunzel. Personally head canon that after that she never wanted to bring it up because it’s all good now so why talk about it? Once it’s over it’s over. She does the same thing with Cass as well. This isn’t Rapunzel hate, though! It’s just something I feel she does). Seeing Hugo understand that he hurt him and let him know that yes, it is okay for you to be upset means everything. He was never allowed to be upset before. Corona treated things like his actions negated everything he went through. He was told that he deserved to go to prison and the trauma came with it because it was his ‘punishment’ for everything he did. Now, Hugo’s telling him he understands. Despite the betrayal and everything that happens, he knows he still loves him. He’s still hurt but he’s willing to work through it with him. He trusts that he won’t hurt him again.

So, Varian asks to kiss him and Hugo accepts. Varian knows that Hugo’s someone important to him and he doesn’t want to lose him. The sting is still there, it’s salt in the wound from everything he went through before. But he wants to give Hugo a second chance.

When they go back and start settling down in Corona, he starts becoming more aware of Hugo’s insecurities. They’re harder for Hugo to hide now that he’s not constantly acting around him. Though during the trials there were moments where they stopped and Varian sensed something was off, but he never knew what.

He tries his best to constantly remind Hugo that he cares, that he loves him, and all that. He doesn’t get as flustered now that they’ve been together for a while and becomes almost as much of a cuddle bug as Hugo, especially on bad days. Almost. While Hugo rarely talks about his feelings, Varian starts tp learn how to tell when Hugo’s having his own bad days. He’ll stick by his side, hold him, and remind him of everything.

When Hugo helps him through his bad days, it means the literal world to him. Going back to what I said before, he never really talked about everything he went through. He never let himself heal, either. He would constantly blame himself for it. Nobody had ever given him another opinion. They were either involved, or bias citizens. So when Hugo tells him, hey, yours feelings were valid you just took the wrong actions, it means a lot. (He knows his actions were bad at this point).

Hugo allows him to be upset, but still does his best to show him that he’s loved. He doesn’t treat him like a burden when his mental health gets the best of him, and vice versa.

While Hugo doesn’t outright say how much he loves Varian, he shows it through his actions. Varian tries to tell Hugo how much he loves him, by saying it and reminding him that he’s here for him. He loves him for him. And that’ll never change.

And there’s my essay. Enjoy! Also if it’s messy sorry I wrote this in one go and skimmed it over twice. Don’t know why I made it so long I just said ha time to ramble!

#tw: mentions of violence #tw: panic attack #tw: anxiety #tw: nightmares #varigo #tts hugo #tts varian #varian and the 7 kingdoms #varian and the seven kingdoms

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